Rock Star
by Jacesangle404
Summary: Clary is in one of the most popular bands in the world. She is trying to be perfect for everyone, but is the pressure becoming too much? She meets Jace, Hollywood's bad boy, when she films a movie with him. Will they be able to help each other, or will their jobs keep them apart?
1. Chapter 1: Meet Clary

**Chapter 1: Meet Clary**

Welcome to Rock Star! Thank you for giving this story a chance - I know I suck at summaries. I will be uploading once a week. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

"Hi Clary, I'm so excited to finally get to meet you!" The interviewer, Jessica, says cheerfully. I smile, and hold out my hand for her to shake, replying "and you too. Thanks for having me." Once everyone is acquainted, I lead them into the room where I had been doing interviews all day, and show her around, offering her and her cameraman, food and drink.

I sit down, leaving them be so they can set up. I begin flicking through my phone to see what I have planned for the rest of the week. Nothing too bad. I'm technically on holidays now but work never really stops.

"Okay well, we're ready to start rolling when you are," she says, nodding at the camera man. I give my phone to Magnus, and turn back to Jessica, ready to start the interview. "This is Jessica Hundley with MTV, I'm here with the lovely Clary Fray. We're going to ask her about the new album, the band and everything in between." I wave, smiling at the camera. I know that some reports get snappy if you interrupt their introduction, so I wait until I am addressed to speak. "So, from my understanding, you had a hand in writing every song on this album. They are all amazing by the way." Jessica says.

"Thank you," I respond. I'm not used to getting all the attention and praise in the interviews. I'm not used to being in interviews by myself. But it seems more and more that that is the case. It started happening towards the end of the last tour - as I became more 'important' in the public eye, more people wanted to talk to me one on one.

"May I ask, is there any one particular guy the songs were written about?" she asks, with a playful smile.

This is a question I am used to. I am always rumoured to be dating three men at once, even if I had only officially dated one guy. They are just after a good story, that's all.

"No, I think this was more of a personal album, for all of us. And some of the songs I only had a hand in writing the music for – I only wrote one song totally solo. I think… I think it's very easy to sit down with notebook and instrument and get emotional and sentimental… to, be able to say what you really mean. When I have to say it to a person, I get shy and distracted and everything, and it… There's just something about being vulnerable and writing something you want to say. So, no… it's not a about a man. This album was about getting personal with ourselves, for all of us." _Besides, the label doesn't want me to kill the non-existent story about the mystery man that broke my heart,_ I think. A man that doesn't really exist - not how everyone assumes he does anyway.

"So aside from that, can we get an exclusive and confirm your relationship with Shawn Mendes?" Jessie asks me. I will never understand why everyone wants to know about my love life - doesn't it start to get boring. I don't understand how this is considered news.

"No, we're not dating. I've only met him a few times, briefly. He's a nice guy, funny, very talented, but I barely know him. I suppose these days if you are in a photo together you're automatically dating?" I say. I try to make it sound light hearted, but I can hear that it is obvious that I am beginning to get annoyed, and everyone else will be able to hear it too, so I try to play it off with a small laugh. We are supposed to be here to talk about the band's music, maybe my upcoming movie, not my love life. It is none of anybody's business what I'm doing with whom, although nobody else seems to get that. _All publicity is good publicity_ , that's what they say _. Easy to say when you're not the one affected by it._

"But we can both agree, given the opportunity you would jump at it right? He's been quoted saying he would date you if the opportunity arose," she says with a devil's grin.

 _Bullshit,_ I say to myself, _you just want to see me blush, and get all girly with you. Sorry Jessica, not happening._

"No, can't say that I would... He's very nice, but I'm sure friendship would be enough for both of us. And even if we were going to date, our schedules just really wouldn't work together." I just want to move off this topic, and throwing some small bone always seems to do the trick. If you listen to my whole answer, you can tell I don't want to date him, but that's not the bit I'll be quoted on. Whatever, it seems to do what I wanted.

"Right, well the album isn't all that's new in your life. You're going to begin filming your very first movie soon. What can you tell us about the film?" she says, shifting uncomfortably in her chair. Apparently, she did understand how much I wanted to move on from the topic, and I was thankful that she did move on.

"Well, a lot is under wraps right now, so I can't reveal too much, but I can tell you that I will be play recent high school graduate, Lizzy, who's still getting over the shock of graduating, and trying to find her place in the world."

"And will we be hearing you amazing vocals in this upcoming project?" she asks, comfortable we were back into a pleasant conversation.

"No, not in this movie. I thought I should focus on one thing at a time. Also, this movie isn't really the place for impromptu singing. As much as I would love to be in High School Musical, this isn't it." I say, from the corner of my eye I can see Magnus, my manager, giving Jessica the wrap up signal. _Thank God_ , I think.

"So, one last question. Have you met your co-star, Hollywood heartthrob, Jace Herondale yet?" she asks suggestively. Is she seriously trying to get into this topic again?

"No not yet, I'll meet him and all the rest of the cast and crew tomorrow. Very excited about meeting them all." I make sure to mention all the crew so that some story doesn't spread that I have a massive crush on Jace Herondale. That is something I just don't need.

"And what about Sebastian Verlac. He seems to be giving Jace a run for his money these days?" Jessica asks.

"No, I haven't met him yet either. I'm sure they, and everyone else, will be great though," I say. Hadn't Magnus said it was time to wrap?

"Well, thanks for coming in today Clary, it's been a blast." She says with a warm smile.

"Thanks for having me," I say, holding out my hand for her to shake.

As soon as the camera stops rolling, she drops my hand.

"Thanks for giving me the fucking cold shoulder in there. I'm sure that will come out just _great_ in your interview." She says with a bitter smile, "maybe you should've gone through some more media training before you stopped hiding behind everyone else in your band."

I ignore the comment, bid her goodbye as pleasantly as I can muster, and walk over to Magnus to see how many more interviews I have for the rest of the day.

"Biscuit" Magnus says in a warning tone. I give him the best 'I'm sorry' face that I can muster and sit in the seat next to him.

"Clary we've talked about this before. They are going to ask questions about your love life, about your personal life, it's a given. If you ever try and stop them they are going to say you chose this life, and you did. So now it's time to face the consequences. You don't have to give them every last detail, just enough to satisfy them," he says. "And the label wants you to-"

"I know, I know. Feed the rumours without giving away the information. I try, but I just don't understand why they want to know! I don't understand how this is considered news," I say, curling into a ball and hiding my face from him. I hear him say something about selling albums and going to get food, so I decide to have a nap. I take every opportunity I can to get some extra sleep these days. At least I should be getting a break soon...

Sometime later, I am being shaken awake by Magnus. He tells me that I have a half hour to get my hair and makeup fixed up before I have my last interview for the day.

As I am sitting in my makeup chair, looking at myself in the mirror, I think back to a time before I was famous. I would've hated the person I had become. I have everything I ever dreamed about, and I'm complaining. So, _what if_ the questions get a bit personal sometimes, I'm living my dream. I vow to myself that I will be 100% honest in this next interview, no matter how much I hate it. On second thought, maybe I will be 90% honest – they don't need to know everything, nor should they get to. I'm going to be the reason albums doesn't sell, or the reason we get dropped by the label.

I walk out, back into the interview area, to see the next journalist setting up. I walk over to him and hold out my hand.

"Hi, I'm Clary, it's nice to meet you," I say, introducing myself like I try to do in every situation. He gives me a funny look before taking my hand and shaking it slowly. "Kevin," he replies with a curious look on his face. Every time I introduce myself to someone, I get strange looks, but I just want to be polite. My parents taught me well.

I move over to my chair, and busy myself by playing with the loose hem on my shirt while he finishes getting ready. Soon, he sits down across from me, and signals to the cameraman to start filming. I try to put on my happiest face, but really, I just want to go home and sleep.

"So, Clary, thanks for being here today," Kevin says. "Thanks for having me," I reply. "So, as something I always try to do at the beginning of my interviews, I'll ask you 15 questions, and you just answer with the first thing that comes to mind."

"Sounds great" I say, leaning forward in my chair a bit more. I like these lighter types of interviews.

"Ready…? What is your favourite food?" He asks

"Anything Chinese" I say.

"Favourite band?"

"Ahhh… Fleetwood Mac"

"Favourite colour?"

"Green"

"Go to karaoke song?"

"Umm…. Don't Go Breakin' My Heart. By Elton John? But only if I have a good partner!"

"Movie that made your cry from laughing so hard"

"We're the Millers"

"Movie that made you actually cry"

"Inside Out"

"Book you couldn't put down?"

"The Messenger by Markus Zusak"

"Favourite place to travel to?"

"Australia"

"If you could live anywhere, where would it be?"

"New York"

"Work or play?"

"Work!"

"Wine or beer?"

"Coca-Cola? I'm only twenty!"

"Eyes or smile?"

"Eyes"

"Any secret talents?"

"Umm… I can… Hold my breath for a long time? I'm not really sure that's a talent. Oh! I can juggle!"

"Favourite thing to do?"

"Listen to music while a walk or run"

"And finally, if you could master anything, what would it be?"

"Umm…. Cooking the perfect pizza."

"That was great," Kevin says with a small chuckle. "So, we have some questions from the fans for you to answer now. This one is from Clary_Fray_Queen_01 and they ask: "what is your favourite thing about performing'"

"Well… I think getting to travel to heaps of really cool places, to meet heaps of really cool people and being able to share something with them is amazing. Every new place you go it's a whole new experience. No two nights of performing are the same, and I think that is a dream in itself. And it's great that I get to share that with a bunch of people who are as close as family."

"Now, Royals_Clary has asked, 'do you think 'Royals for the Night' will break up soon?'"

"I see our fans have been reading gossip magazines!" I say with a small chuckle, "in the ideal world 'the Royals' will never break up. We'll all be on stage, barely able to move around and everyone yelling at us to get off. But, back in the real world, I could see myself for doing this for at least another few years. Who knows what the future holds?"

"Last question from the fans… is from Climon_5Eva… "Clary, if you could do anything for a day, what would it be?'"

"Umm. I guess I would… see… my family. I haven't seen them in … in what feels like forever. And then we could go to central park and have a picnic, and then go home and watch a movie. Just like old times." I say with a fond smile on my face, trying to hold back any tears from falling. I really don't like talking about my family in interviews, but I promised to be honest so…

"Now, there have been rumours going around that your man, Simon Lewis, is coming to visit you while you're working in LA? Any truth to these?" He says with a playful smirk on his lips.

"I know what you are trying to do here," I say with a smirk. I am trying to make this as light hearted as possible. "Simon is not my man. But yes, he is coming to LA, to visit me on the set of the upcoming movie that I'm staring in. Simon is like a brother to me… that would just be weird. Towards the end of the shoot everyone will be coming to do tour prep anyway."

And just like that all talk turns to the upcoming movie…

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Thank you for reading. I would love it if you could leave a review, with suggestions or things you would like to see. See you next week :)


	2. Chapter 2: Meet Jace

**Chapter 2: Meet Jace**

Hello, I am back - thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed and favourited! Just a question for future chapters: if I'm including a song, would you rather just see the name of the song, or for me to put in all the lyrics of the song? Please review with your answer. Thanks you and enjoy :)

* * *

 **Jace's POV**

I get out of my limo and am instantly hounded by fans and paparazzi. I take a few pictures, and sign a few photos before heading inside, into the studio. Sometimes I really hate my fans.

They just never give me a fucking break! Was it too much to ask? I get that I am only famous because of them, but can't they admire me from afar? My face is what gets me most of my jobs, I can't have them ruining it.

When I get onto the set, I meet my manager, Izzy. She hands me my coffee and begins giving me the rundown for the day.

"So, Clary will be here any minute – be nice, she's a very sweet girl." Izzy says with a warning look in her eye.

"I'm sure she is. That's why she's constantly in the tabloids. New man every night, new drug habit every day! And anyway, how do you know she's sweet, it's not like you've met her before."

"It's... a long story. And give the sarcasm a break, Jace." Izzy says sharply, "When she gets here, you two can get to know each other a little bit, and then you can go around and meet all of the other cast members and crew. Then you are good to go home for the day."

"Why should we bother meeting crew?" I say looking at her confused.

" _Just_ a suggestion Jace," Izzy says looking tired and then she walks away.

I sit down in my chair and begin looking through my phone for a bit. I open Instagram and go onto Clary's account. She hasn't posted for a month, and most of it is just pictures of fans at her concerts, or her with her band, performing. There isn't a single selfie. I start to go back a couple of years (which doesn't take long), and there is more stuff with her band from when they were younger, but again, nothing personal. Who is this Clary Fray?

Izzy walks back over to me and whispers, "Clary is coming this way," and quickly points at a short girl with bright red hair.

I see Clary walking towards me with a man next to her. She walks up next to me and says with a warm smile, "hi, I'm Clary. It's nice to meet you," and sticks out her hand for me to shake.

"I know who you are," I say, taking her hand. I quickly drop it and go back to scrolling through my feed.

Clary frowns a little bit and whispers something in the man's ear before walking away. Weirdo.

"Jace!" Izzy scolds, "You can be _so rude_ sometimes. I mean you didn't stand up or introduce yourself or anything! I can't handle you sometimes," she says before walking away. Whatever, it's not like Clary will be able to ruin my reputation. From what I've seen, she's the one that needs to keep a check on herself.

A little while later, I walk over to the big food table to get some lunch when I see Clary again. She is going around and introducing herself to everyone on set. I get that this is her first movie and all, so she probably doesn't know what you're supposed to do, but seriously, how stupid can one person get? I mean, she should be able to figure who is important and who isn't from all that time she spent on tour. I think about what Izzy had said to me earlier and decide that I'll go give her some advice.

"You know, you don't have to introduce yourself to everyone, right? They already know who you are, and you're far more important than them, don't sink down to their level," I say, pulling her away from the crowd of people she had been talking to.

"Thanks for the tip," she says, her voice dripping with fake sincerity, "but I think I know what I'm doing." She turns back around and goes back to the group of people. Whatever, it's her choice to become a commoner.

I see Izzy coming over to me, and I'm about to mention that Clary is exactly how I thought she would be, if not more stupid, but before I can, she gives me the shooting schedule for the next month. It seems that I get all of the good hours, while Clary gets all of the shitty ones, for our individual scenes at least. See, this is exactly what I was talking about. People know not to mess with me, but when they see Clary they just see some little singer with attitude problems, who is yet to make a mark on the world. People know they can walk all over her.

The man that Clary walked in with gives her the same schedule, and I watch her, just waiting for her to freak out and cause some kind of scene. The man points out a few things on the piece of paper and she nods, thanks him, puts the schedule in her bag, and then turns back to the conversation.

Working with Clary is going to be a piece of cake - I will always get my way.

I'm given the all clear to head home a couple of hours after that. I follow my security guards, who were pushing their way through the crowd of people, towards the car waiting for me. I don't bother saying hello to anyone, I'm tired, and will be here for a couple of months - they will get their chance, eventually.

I give one wave to the crowd before getting in my car, which quickly leaves. I lean back into the seat, glad to be done for the day. I tell the driver to turn on the radio, and it turns on to one of Clary's songs.

 _Goodnight moon, goodbye sun_

 _What goes with you is all my love_

 _I hope your best is yet to come_

 _Let's close the book what's done is done_

 _'cause yesterday's gone_

I tell him to turn it off before it can end. It's not like it's a bad song or anything, but I have had enough Clary for one day. Instead, I get driven home in silence, and when I get inside, I'm met with even more silence. I hate silence. If you sit in silence, you're not doing anything with your life, you're doing nothing fun, and you can't be doing anything worthwhile. Instead of putting up with the silence for another minute, I grab my jacket, beanie and sunglasses and head out again for the night.

I put on the beanie, pull my hood over the top of that and push my sunglasses close to my face. I may get some attention for wearing all of this at night, but not nearly as much as I would if I walked around with nothing. It was better to be recognised for being looking weird (but still hot), than for being Jace Herondale.

I head towards the rougher part of the city in search of a good time, and I let the music lead me to the exact place. It's well off the beaten track, and attracts just the right crowd; they'll show me a good time, and not give a shit about who I am. You don't have to be in a city long to to figure out where the good stuff is.

I walk into the club, keeping my head down as I head straight into the bathroom. I see some shady guy standing next to a stall door with a backpack. I walk up to him, hand him a fifty, and receive a small baggie in return. I keep walking towards a different stall, close the door and look down at what I have gotten. There are three pills in the bag. I'm not too sure what they actually are, but they look kind of similar to the pain killers I got when I broke my leg a couple of years back. Loopy shit.

I know they helped my leg, but I can't help but feel ripped off. Whatever. I think about what I have to face at work tomorrow. I think about what the paparazzi would do if they found me like this, and about what Izzy would do if she found out. Finally, I think of Clary, and the judgemental state she would give me if she ever found out I did drugs. For a moment, I don't want to take them anymore, but then I realise the huge possibility that she probably does drugs all the time - it's what the tabloids say. And it's what most people in her position do. All I know is that I don't want to think anymore, and that I don't really care what happens to me anyway, so I swallow the pills.

By the time I get to the bar and down a drink I can already feel them working through my body, loosening me up, washing the day away. I know that tonight will be a good one.

I put my hand on my face to block the light piercing into my eyes, blinding me, and forcing me to wake up. I slowly open one eye to see the gap in the curtain - the reason the light could get into the room. My body aches, my head is pounding, and my throat is dry as. I slowly sit up, but the room is swaying, so I flop back into my bed, closing my eyes again. Suddenly a body starts moving beside me, and I look over at a half decent looking girl. She's hot enough, but definitely not what I usually go for. What did I get up to last night? She moves over to rest her head on my chest, but I simply push her off and tell her to get out of my house. She tries arguing, but I tell her it's no use - if she doesn't get out herself, I'll call my security and they can escort her out.

I sit on the edge of my bed, and watch her get up, put on her clothes and leave. I don't flinch when she turns to give me a kiss, instead, I get up and head into the kitchen, listening for the click of the door to tell me she has left.

I make a strong pot of coffee, and sit on the bench while taking small sips, still trying to adjust to the light. After a few minutes I hear my phone buzz, so I pick it up and see that I have about a hundred missed calls from Izzy, and a bunch of texts. I finish my cup of coffee before bothering to call her back.

"Jace!" she yells into the phone. I pull it away from my head for a moment, letting the ringing in my ears settle before replying.

"Izzy be quiet, my head is killing me. Now why did you call me so many freaking times?" I say in an almost whisper.

"Oh, I don't know Jace? Maybe because you were due at the studio an hour ago! I've already started driving to your apartment, so you better be ready by the time I get there, or I swear Jace… You have two minutes. Meet me on the street." Without allowing me to reply, she hangs up the phone.

I look back at my phone. Sure enough, it is 12.00. Deciding that I don't want to be stabbed by an eight inch stiletto today, I pour another cup of coffee, and walk back to my room to quickly get ready.

I'm standing on the street, waiting for Izzy to arrive, trying to recall any detail from the night before, but nothing comes to mind. Izzy pulls up, and I get in without saying a word.

After ten minutes of driving, Izzy says, "Jesus Jace. It's the first day and you're already late, not to mention wasted. Do you want to get fired? because that's the road you're heading down at the moment. And trust me Jace, it's a dead-end street."

"Well Izzy," I say in a soft voice - my head still hurts. "Technically, it's the second day at the studio, and they wouldn't fire me. They _can't_. I'm the star of this show. They need me."

"Don't be so sure. The studio really likes Clary. She may not have a lot of experience, but she brings exposure, and a new audience, and she works hard... And don't forget your other co-star, Sebastian Verlac. He brings a fair amount of experience _and_ exposure to this movie. If you keep going like this, then maybe no, they don't need you."

I don't reply, and she doesn't start a new conversation for the rest of the car ride. I was wrong. Sometimes, I do like silence.

* * *

Song mentioned: Yesterday's Gone, by Bernard Fanning

Please leave a review with any writing tips, comments or questions. See you next week!


	3. Chapter 3: Score 1

**Chapter 3: Score 1**

Hey guys, I'm back! Sorry this is a little bit late, but hope you enjoy it anyway!

* * *

 **Jace's POV**

Izzy rushes me into the studio, and begins apologising immediately. She pushes me towards the table where everyone is sitting, and then goes to get me a coffee. I look around and notice Sebastian Verlac, who is looking at me unimpressed. I smirk and mock salute at him, and then continue to look at the other people at the table - I don't recognise anyone. Someone hands me a script and I begin flipping through it, but soon realise that Clary isn't sitting at the table. Figures she's late as well but I'm the one getting in trouble.

"I'll go fetch Clary, she should be ready by now" Sebastian announces to the group before heading towards makeup. Did she really have that rough of a night that she has to ask professionals to make her look fresh? Again, I question why I am the only one getting in trouble here.

Sebastian soon returns to the table and says that Clary will be coming in a minute, she just wants to put her hair up first. I roll my eyes and continue flipping through the script, knowing she will probably take a while.

About a minute later Clary walks to the table, and I'm taken by surprise by her appearance. She has blonde hair, a nice dirty blonde - the type I would usually go for. I forgot that that was part of the character. I like her better with red hair I decide, but quickly scold myself for having an opinion on Clary's appearance – I shouldn't care.

When Clary sits down at the table, she gets a few comments about how good it looks. I then lock eyes with her. I see a playful smile dance on her lips before she nods her head to acknowledge me. What is all that about?

"Anyway," I say, "are we going to get started here, or could I have waited another hour?" My question is met with a few nasty glares, but the director Donald [Petrie], starts none-the-less.

"Hello everyone, welcome, welcome. So today we're going to go over a run through of the plot, and then we'll read parts of the script together, just to make sure we are all of the same page. Before we start I just want to talk about how this is a safe place to try out anything new we want, at the end of the day it's all a bit of fun. So I'll just ask that everyone goes around to introduce themselves, although I'm sure we all know each other. So, my name is Donald, but you can all just call be Don, and I'm the director and I'm very excited to be working with you all." He gives one final big smile before sitting down.

Sebastian stands up next. "Hello everyone. My name's Sebastian, but you can call be Seb if you would like to. I will be playing Henry, and am also very excited to be working on this movie." I roll my eyes as he sits down.

Clary then stands up, a little hesitant. I was still adjusting to her blonde hair. My type is usually blonde, but it just didn't work on Clary, or maybe it was Clary herself. Clary is synonymous to her bright red hair. "Hi, my name's Clary, and it's great to be here. I will be playing Lizzy. This is my first movie, and I want to thank you all for giving me a chance."

Everyone then looks over to me. I don't bother to stand. "The names Jace," _but you already know_ _that_ , I think. "I'm playing Peter." That's all I say. I few people look at me as if expecting me to say more, but I don't, so other people begin introducing themselves, but I don't bother paying attention. Eventually, Don stands up again and says, "so a general run down of the movie: set in the modern day, Lizzy and Peter have just graduated from High School. They are planning an amazing summer together before they go off to college together. Peter has had a romantic interest in Lizzy for a little while now, and plans to make his move over the summer. Henry moves in to the apartment next door to Lizzy, and instantly fancies her. One day he makes a bet with his friends that he can get Lizzy into bed within the month. The story then follows Henry's attempts to get Lizzy, Peter's attempts to protect his friend, and Lizzy's attempts to figure it all out. By the end, Lizzy has figured out what Henry was up to, and has fallen for Peter."

Once everyone is good with the storyline, and we have read through a couple scenes, we are able to take a break for lunch.

While sitting by myself, drinking from a bottle of water, because I'm not sure my stomach will be able to keep anything down for a little while, Don comes up to me.

"Hey Jace, we're really glad to have you on board for this movie," he told me, "but we're going to need to see more commitment coming from you. Everyone was here on time today, Clary even came in early to get her hair done, yet you were an hour late. Could end up costing us big time if it's a regular occurrence."

"I'm very sorry Don. I just a little carried away last night, and time got away from me. It won't happen again, I'll make sure of it," I say. I know the right things to say to the right people - to some people, you just have to suck it up and be a kiss ass.

"That's what we want to hear!" he says enthusiastically before walking back to the lunch table.

I see him walk past Clary, who is sitting on the ground playing with some little kid. Confused, I walk over to the table to see if there is any food that looks tempting enough to try and keep down.

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

I was sitting on the ground reading through some comic books with one of the hair dressers kids, whom she had to bring in to work today. I was talking to him while his mom was dying my hair earlier this morning, and was now giving her a break so she could eat her lunch. It is the least I can do after she did such a good job with my hair. Besides, he's pretty cool for someone who is only 8 years old. It appears that we liked a lot of the same stuff. If only I could do my scenes with Tavvy rather than Jace, maybe this movie would be a better experience.

"So do you like coming to work with your mom?" I ask him, while drawing on a sheet of paper with him.

"Mmhm, it's fun to meet cool people. Like you." he says, drawing some sort of dinosaur looking thing.

"I like your drawing," I say, "all of the colours look super cool together!"

"Thank you," he says quickly, "I like your drawing too, it's really good. Do you draw all the time?"

"I draw when I can, but I'm really busy so I don't get to do it alot. Do you like drawing?" I say. Admittedly, I hadn't been paying attention to what I saw drawing, but it felt good to be doing it again.

"Yeah! When I'm old, I want to be a drawer!" he says, excitedly.

"Well, you're already really good, but if you do lots of practise, then you can get really good and become a super artist! Do you think you can do lots of practise?" I ask.

He nods quickly and then concentrates really hard on his drawing. I watch him for a little bit, making a mental note to buy the kids some sort of art set so that he didn't pester his mom for one - those things can get expensive.

After a little bit, Tavvy and I get up to get some food and that's when I see Jace. He is standing next to, an admittedly, good looking female crew member. I think for a second that maybe I had misjudged Jace. Maybe he is shy (although it is hard to see), and is just taking his time to introduce himself to everyone on the set. I move a little closer to him, occupying myself with collecting a plate of food for Tavvy, while listening to the conversation.

"Yeah, you liked that movie?" Jace says. I can't see the look on his face but I can tell that he is smirking.

"Mhhmm, you looked so good in it," says the girl, twisting her hair in an obvious sort of way.

Jace lets out a small chuckle. Of course he is only be trying to get with some girl. I walk past him, purposely hitting his shoulder as I pass by.

"You should come over tonight," Jace says loudly. I wonder if he is talking louder to make sure I can hear him. I ignore him, and hand Tavvy the plate of food, but Jace's conversation becomes louder, and Tavvy runs off to his mom. I turn back towards where they are standing to see Jace staring me down, instead of looking at the girl he just asked out. I rolled my eyes and continue walking towards a chair where I can eat the apple I got myself, away from the annoying tones of Jace Herondale.

It seems, however, that the annoying tones of Jace Herondale do not want to leave _me_ alone, as I hear their conversation growing louder yet again, not two minutes later.

He sits down in the chair across from me and stares at me. I refuse to acknowledge him, paying particularly close attention to the fruit I am eating, hoping he gets my passive message telling him to go away.

After a few minutes of my refusal to look at him, it seems that he decides to start conversation.

"Sorry if I annoyed you back there! Just thought I should follow in your footsteps and introduce myself to some of the staff," he says, his voice dripping with fake sincerity.

"Not at all," I spring back, in the exact same tone. "Just thought you would at least _try_ to keep it in your pants for one day."

"Now where's the fun in that?" He says, smiling slightly.

"Sometimes you do something because it's the right thing, not because it's fun." I say, looking at him with disbelief.

"Wow, aren't you just the life of the party." he says, almost choking on the sarcasm.

"If you're what the life of the looks like, then lucky me!" I say, giving him a one over.

"Who wouldn't want to look like all of this? Are you just bitter because you're short? Or maybe it's that you have to dye your hair blonde to look remotely close to me!" He says, picking up a piece of my hair, running it through his fingers.

I pull it back, looking at his face. It's a shame that he's so attractive. It was stupid to try and deny it – I know he looks good, but what ruins it, is that he does too. When a person knows they looked good, it really ruins the whole effect. Jace must take my silence as winning the conversation, as he begins to move away from his chair. I'm not going to let him win the first play fight we have ever had, however.

"I was just concerned, you know," I say, standing up myself.

He turns back to me, "and why's that."

"Wasn't sure there would be enough room in your bed. You know, with that blonde from last night and all." I walk up to him, and whisper "Slow down with those pills tonight, big boy." I pat him on the chest before walking away, leaving him with a confused look on his face, trying to figure out how I know about last night.

Clary: 1, Jace: 0.

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Hope you enjoyed that chapter! As always please review with any comments, questions or suggestions - everything is appreciated. See you next week!


	4. Chapter 4: We'll Never Get Along!

**Chapter 4: We'll Never Get Along!**

Hey guys! I'm back again! Hope you enjoy this chapter. I asked a question a little bit ago about if you wanted whole song lyrics or just the name of the song, so please answer! Hope you enjoy the chapter!

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

I am sitting in the back of my car, driving to work and looking out the window. It's been about a week since we started filming, and to be honest, it has been amazing. I never have to wake up before 5.00, and I always have at  
least an hour in the afternoon to do what I want. Compared to how life usually is, this is like taking a holiday (which is what I'm meant to be doing). It feels like I'm free again. The only thing that could make shooting any better is Jace. While he may be nice to look at, it will never make up for his obnoxious, egotistical personality. It seems that no matter how hard I try to be friendly with him, he is determined to be a prick. I'm willing to give him one more chance, but after that, I'm done.

When I get to work I see Jace, who is, for the first time ever, here before me. He is sitting in his chair, on his phone while everyone is busily working around him. From the looks of it, you would assume he owns the place. I mean, that's probably what he thinks anyway.

Trying to ignore Jace, I head to makeup to get ready for the day. I am done after half an hour, and I head back out to the main set to go over my lines before we start filming for the day. I see that the next scene is just me and Jace, so I go over to him to see if he wants to run lines with me.

"Hey Jace, I w-" I am quickly cut off by Jace's finger in my face, telling me to stop talking while he is on his phone. I cross my arms and begin tapping my foot, looking at him with my eyebrows raised. After about 20 seconds, he puts down his phone and looks up at me, his eyebrows raised.

When I mimic his face back to him, he says "you may continue," in a bored sort of voice.

He is lucky I don't just slap him right then and there. Instead, I let out a slow breath and plaster on a fake smile before asking, "I was wondering if you wanted to run lines with me for out next scene."

He grabs the open script from my hands, reads over a few lines before announcing, "I, unlike you, already know all of my lines. So, I'm all good thanks."

"Do you always have to be such an ass," I snap before I can stop myself.

He smiles to himself a bit before saying,"no. But I _choose_ to be, just for you."

"Well maybe, just for a day, you could try to, you know, not. At this rate it would be a miracle if I went five minutes without wanting to hit you." I snap back. I know I shouldn't let my temper get the better of me like this, but something about Jace Herondale just really pushes my buttons.

He stands up so that I am forced to look up to him if I want to maintain eye contact. He looks like he has more to say but decides to leave instead. I know he is never going to be nice to me if I'm a bitch to him. Every time I try to be nice to him, he will bring up this exact conversation. It is that thought, and that though only that makes me run after him.

"Jace," I say. He turns around, obviously ready to continue the previous conversation, but I start talking before he has the chance to, "would you want to get dinner tonight?"

Clearly, that is not what he had expected me to say, because his eyebrows furrow, and he looks like he is trying to figure out how I am tricking him.

"No tricks," I say, "I just don't think I've really given you a good enough chance, and I barely know anything about you. I think it would be good if we could get to know each other."

"If you wanted to go out on a date with me, you could just ask directly, no need to hide behind all this nonsense of wanting to get to know me" Jace says with a smirk. Before I can argue against what he said, he says he will meet me after work, ruffles my hair and walks off. I have just made a huge mistake.

Once we have finished for the day, Jace and I get into a cab, which I direct towards my favourite restaurant in all of New York: Takis.

Once we get there I can see the disgust in Jace's face as he looks at the restaurant from the outside.

"I'm not eating in there." Jace says with certainty.

"Sure you are," I say, pushing him from behind, "it may not be the 5 star restaurants you're used to, but it's my favourite, so, in you go!"

Once we are seated at a booth, Jace seems a little more comfortable, but still uncertain.

"Why here?" he asks, looking around the small restaurant.

"Well, before the band 'made it', I worked here" I say, watching Jace's reactions. "After that, everywhere else I went to eat always got crowded by people, or photos got taken of me, even if I was doing something as mundane as having  
lunch with Luk- um, my family. I realised than no one would expect me, or anyone famous to eat _here_. They never come looking, so I just kept coming back. And it makes me feel more normal, reminds me of life before everything…  
happened."

Jace just nods his head and picks up the menu. I was expecting some snide comment about how I used to work in a restaurant, but he makes no such remark.

After about 10 minutes, Jace and I have both ordered our food, and are now sitting in silence. It is obvious that Jace isn't going to make any effort here, so I know I will have to start the conversation.

"How do you like acting?" I ask.

"It's good," is his entire response.

"What about the movie, it's going well, don't you think" I ask, trying my hardest to start a conversation.

"I suppose," he says, bored.

"What kind of music do you like?" I ask, hopeful that we might have something in common. He looks up at me with a smirk on his face. I quickly realise what this face meant "Jesus, no. I'm not expecting you to say my band."

He chuckles a bit before dropping his head again, picking at the laminate on the table, and ignoring my question completely.

"Then what do you like Jace?" I ask, trying to grasp anything to make this night less painful.

He looks up at me thoughtfully for a minute before answering "anything that makes me feel alive."

This isn't the answer I was expecting at all, "like what?"

He just shakes his head and goes back to picking at the table. Clearly this conversation is not on this list. I think back to the night when I saw him in the club. I think I know what makes Jace feel alive.

Our food comes out and we settle back into silence. I don't know what else I can ask him, and he really doesn't seem to want to answer my questions anyway. Just when I think we aren't going to say anything for the rest of the night, Jace asks "what makes you feel alive Clary?"

I think about it for a minute. Once I would've said pretty much everything, but now I want to hide from all of the pressure that come with everything. It made me want to be the opposite of alive - not dead, just like, in a coma or something. The only place I truly still feel like myself is when I'm performing. It seems to wake something up inside me, and it is the only thing that can keep the feeling alive. I tell him simply, "performing. Being on stage."

He rolls his eyes and looks out the window to the empty streets of New York. I slump back in my chair and sit in the silence for a few minutes, but it soon becomes unbearable.

"Sorry that my answer wasn't good enough for you Jace, but is that all you were going to say tonight? There's nothing else you want to say, or ask me? You've been pretty much mute all night. The point was to get to know each other, maybe break down this tension that exists between us for some reason. I'm trying, but a conversation usually requires two people. So, if you're not going to say anything, then I may as well go home, because I've got things that I need to be doing."

"Okay Clary," Jace says with hostility, "I'll tell you something. I'll tell you exactly what I think of you. You think you're so cool and mysterious, Clary, but in reality, you're just like every other boring pop star. You probably rely on auto-tune, struggle to play your guitar at concerts, and live for that moment on stage. That moment where, for an hour or two you actually feel like people like you. And let's not get started on the rest of the band. You probably made your way through all of them like wildfire within the first year, and now you're all 'just friends,' but they resent the fact that you won't go near them again like _that_. But you can't say anything, because you rely on them to make you look better. And at home, mommy and daddy are so happy that their little princess has finally made it and believe you when you tell them to ignore all the magazines because 'you're not really like that,' when in actual fact those magazines could pretty much sum up your life. I could go on and on, but by now I'm probably thinking that you miss the silence. Am I right?"

I sit, stunned that he had said so much, and that it had all been so wrong. Is that really the impression that I give off? I don't bother saying anything back. Even though I know my leaving will all but confirm his story, I can't stand to sit here with him for another second. I simply pick up my bag, drop $20 on the table and leave. Before I can get outside Jace says "so I'm right then?" I turn, flip him off, and leave, getting in a taxi and going home. Why does Jace Herondale deserve to know the truth about me anyway? If that's what he wants to think, then so be it. It's what everyone else probably thinks anyway.

When I get to set the next day, Magnus tells me that Simon will be here any minute, and that he is in a taxi from the airport now. He was going to be in town for a week or so, visiting me on set, and his family.

After about 10 minutes Simon walks in, and I instantly stand up and run to give him a massive bear hug. I ask him about his flight, and how he has been before we run into Sebastian.

"Hey Seb, this is Simon," I say, smiling at him. I am so happy to finally have another familiar face around. Someone who wouldn't treat me like I was dog shit on their Gucci shoes.

"Sebastian," he says, while shaking Simon's hand. We are telling Si about the movie and the roles we are playing when Jace walks in. He is making a bee line for me but stops short when he sees that I am with Simon. He narrows his eyes a little but opens them straight back up when he realises I am looking. He coolly walks over to me, whispers "another one of your boyfriends?" in my ear, and continues straight on, without so much as even looking at Simon.

I roll my eyes at his childish behaviour a turn back to the conversation Seb and Si are having, which has somehow already turned into talk about music.

On the way out of the studio I begin to tell Simon what the set has been like, and after he asks about Jace, I begin to explain, "my God, he has to be the biggest ass hat I've ever met. He literally thinks the world revolves around him, refuses to be nice to me – even when I'm making an effort, and last night – of don't even get me started on last night!"

When Simon gestures for me to continue, I finally get to rant about the conversation we had. "Well first off, he turned his nose up at Taki's! And then didn't say a word to me the whole night until he let out some big speech telling me that I'm a drug obsessed, untalented pop princess that my parents shouldn't be proud of."

"What a wanker," Simon says, his face scrunched up in disgust, "what'd you say to him?" he says, with a small smirk.

"Nothing, I just stood up, paid the bill and flipped him off before leaving," I say, smiling at his pleased face.

"That's my girl – we've trained you well. Anyway, only a few more weeks of him, and then were on tour again! It'll be over before you know it!"

I don't want to say anything to Simon, but the thought of going on tour does nothing to calm my nerves. While hanging out with Simon and ranting about last night meant that I was no longer annoyed at Jace, it doesn't mean that I'm happy. Instead, I just smiled up at Simon. He can tell something is off but doesn't press the topic – probably putting it down to Jace. At least for the next week, life will be good.

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Hope you liked it! Please answer the question about the song lyrics/name, and leave a review with any questions, comments or suggestions - everything helps! See you all next week!


	5. Chapter 5: Friends?

**Chapter 5: Friends?**

Hey guys, I'm back - with the biggest chapter yet! Hope you all enjoy :)

* * *

 **Jace's POV**

It has been six days since that _Simon_ has shown up, and I have honestly found him to be one of the most annoying people I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. He constantly follows Clary around the set like some lost puppy - he either stands two inches next to her or watches her so closely on the monitor he may as well be standing next to  
her. They even hang out together after work doing some stupid 'band stuff'. He's been around her so much that I haven't had a chance to apologise to Clary for the other night.

To be totally honest, being around Clary makes me incredibly nervous, and I hate it. Every other girl (save Izzy), that I'm around will swoon and throw themselves at me, agreeing with everything I say, and letting me do whatever I want. They never cared that I was a douche to them, because it was always enough that I was paying them any  
attention. It almost seemed that they liked it that I treated them badly, and that's what I'd grown used to. They seemed to like that I was 'different' with them - they didn't know I was an ass to everyone I meet, because that's not how I'm displayed to the public. Sure, there were rumors that I was bad on movie sets, or hard to work with in interviews - but there was never any proof to the rumors.

But Clary is different. If I'm rude to her, she calls it out - and I like when she argues with me, puts me in my place. It probably why I do it so much, just to get some sort of a reaction from her. To get something different - but I know I pushed it too far.

And now Simon is here and has ruined any chance I had of making it better. Not to mention Sebastian, who practically kisses the ground Clary walks on, making me look like even more of an asshole. The moment Clary isn't attached to Simon at the hip, I will go to her and apologize for everything I had said.

As soon as she left the restaurant, I realised I had said too much, tried too hard to get a reaction. Even when she was trying to be civil, I couldn't help but be a dick. I just hope that I haven't blown any sort of relationship we could have had before it had even started.

I just don't understand how Clary gets along with Simon so well. Sure, they have music in common, but apart from  
that, I don't see anything else! God, I hate how jealous I get about how well they get along, but every time I see them together, it makes my blood boil. I hate this feeling. I'm Jace Herondale - I don't get jealous, or nervous, or try hard. That what other people do for me!

I guess it's time for a change in my attitude if I am ever going to get Clary to like me. A little bit of change is always good, right.

When I arrive at work the next day, I see that Clary is finally alone. It seems that Simon has buggered off to whatever like he had before coming here, and now I will finally be able to approach Clary without his judgemental stare.

But as I go to approach Clary, I get that feeling again. It is more than butterflies, it's like bats! I smile at her before ducking my head and walking straight past her, towards Izzy. God! What is she doing to me?

Clary and Sebastian have a scene next, the one where they meet for the first time. Even watching something that I know is fake gets me worked up. It's like I don't have control over my feelings. Everything for the past week has been about Clary. I haven't been going out, haven't been seeing other girls, I am being nice to the rest of the cast and crew (even Sebastian for God's sake), but it seems to have no effect on her! I think if I'm really going to show her that I have changed, I am going to have to man up and go and talk to her directly.

We have a break for lunch and Clary is sitting on the ground, leaning up against a wall on her phone. I get two plates of food and walk over to her, making sure I say hello to a few crew members, before sitting down next her. She looks over to me, and I can see the confusion momentarily flash across her face. I can understand why she would be confused about why I'm sitting next to her - but it's that sort of thing I want to change.

"What cha doing" I say in a sing-songy voice. God, what is wrong with me?

"Just looking through my emails?" she says, clearly confused. "What are _you_ doing Jace?" she asks, sceptical.

"I just thought you could use some lunch is all," I say, handing her a plate.

She takes it with a small thanks and begins eating her food. She is obviously trying hard to look anywhere but  
at me.

"Look," I say, "I'm sorry about the other night at dinner. I shouldn't have said that stuff. I was acting like a dick, and none of what I say is true. I'm sure you're an amazing singer, can rock a guitar, and that the magazines made everything up about you."

"I should know, they do the same about me," I say, as an afterthought.

"What angle are you playing here, Jace? One minute you're an asshat, and the next you're nice, and all sorry?" she says, clearly confused. I don't blame her.

"No angle. I'm just an idiot who's here to make amends. I really am sorry." I say, looking her straight in the eye.

"It's fine, I'm used to it," she says, playing with the food on her plate.

I want to tell her that it isn't fine, and she shouldn't just accept it when people treat her like I do, shouldn't just brush it off like it's nothing. No one should ever be used to being told they are inferior, but I know it isn't my place to say anything, not get, anyway. I need to earn that place, that respect.

After a few minutes of us sitting in silence, eating our lunch she asks, "why now? Dinner was a week ago? Why wait to apologise until now?"

"To be honest, it was because of that Simon dude. Idiot wouldn't stay away from you for more than 1 minute. I  
felt like this was something I had to do one on one."

"He's one of my best friends Jace. Like family."

"Oh, come on Clary, you could do so much better than that loser!" I regret what I said as soon as I have said it, but I don't have time to apologise, because Clary shakes her head, smiles, lets out a small, disappointed laugh and walks over to where everyone else is. I yell out her name, but she keeps on walking, and I know better than to chase after her - it only seems to make her more angry. God, why do I have to be such a jerk sometimes?

I watch Clary throughout the rest of the day, and it's clear that she gets on with everyone else so much better than with me. Not once does her smile falter around them, while it seems like all I can do is make her mad. No wonder she stayed away from me this past week; she has a much better time with everyone else.

I decide that I'll talk to Iz and she if she has any advice on how I can get Clary to like me more, because I'm sure not doing a good job on my own.

Once we have finished filming for the day, I sit down beside Izzy and wait while she finishes a phone call; something about doing press once the film is over I think. Once she hangs up the phone she puts it back in her bags and faces me. It is only now that I notice how tired Izzy looks. She has bags under her eyes that she has tried (and failed) to cover up, she's slouched in her chair, and she doesn't fidget or bounce her leg like she once did. I decide that once we've finished this movie, I'll pay for her to go on holiday.

Despite the momentary distraction and silence, Izzy says "what can I do for you Jace," with that half smile she's  
worn since the day I met her.

"Well, Izzy. I don't think this is quite covered in your pay description, but I've been kinda confused for a while now, and I don't have anybody else to talk to about it." I say, unable to look her in the eye.

"Lay it on me then," she says, leaning further back into her chair.

"Well, it's got to do with Clary. And the fact that she doesn't seem to like me very much."

"Mmmhhm" is all she says, signalling me to continue.

"Well, I realised that she was pretty cool pretty quickly, but I had already been a dick to her, because that's what I was used to doing. And then that Simon guy showed up, and I didn't know how to act around him, so I just avoided her altogether last week. When we finally seemed to be getting somewhere at lunch today, I said something stupid again, and now we're back to square one. I just don't really know how to act around her." I say, again trying to avoid eye contact with Izzy, but I know she won't respond until I look her in the eye, and as soon as I do, she begins talking.

"Well I could tell you that you were acting like a dick towards her without hearing a word you said." She says with a slight smirk.

"Gee thanks" is all I can think of saying back.

"But, you _have_ seemed… nicer, or gentler, I guess could be the word, since she came around. Actually talking to crew members. Showing up on time. No drinking or drugs, well at least no notable after effects. Why don't you know how to talk to her? What makes Clary different?" She says, watching me closely.

It takes me a minute to gather my thoughts before I can respond. "She's just… so much _more_ than any girl, or any _person_ I've ever met. She's smart, and witty, and kind, and generous, and caring, and beautiful, and patient. And just bloody amazing. I don't think I could ever get sick of being with her. But I think I've blown it before it's even started! I feel like anything I might try to say to her is never going to be enough."

"Why don't you just tell her that Jace? When you're being yourself, your _censored_ self I mean, you can be those things as well. When you're not trying to be what you think people want you to be, you're actually not too bad. Just… don't think too hard. And tell her the truth. If she doesn't like you after that, then I just don't think it's supposed to be. You shouldn't try and get her to like someone you're not."

"Okay, thanks Iz. What would I do without you?" I say, making sure to maintain eye contact as I say it.

"Nothing, I suspect. Good luck Jace - not that you need it." She says with this face that shows she genuinely cares about me, making her a member of a very small group.

After my conversation with Izzy I try to find Clary, but she is nowhere to be seen. I suppose I will just have to talk to her tomorrow. At least that gives me a little bit of time to figure out what I'm going to say.

 **Clary POV**

I knock on the door, and only a few seconds pass before Luke opens the door.

"Clary!" He says, kind of muffled because he had already pulled me into a bear hug.

"Hey Luke" I say once he finally lets me go. I'm complaining, I barely get to see him these days. I never came  
to New York, and when I do it's in and out for a concert - I don't like to hang around.

Once we are seated, both with big mugs of black coffee, Luke is finally able to get a good look at me.

"You look good kiddo," he says, "don't look nearly as tired as last time I was you, and you've put on a bit more weight." He squeezes my arm before saying, "And strong - you might be able to take me on! This movie is working out well then?"

I laugh before replying, "yeah, it's been great. Like a holiday. Everyone's great, and very patient with me. I'm having a lot of fun." I say, taking a sip from my coffee.

"That's good... That's good." He says. After a while he adds "you know I'm super proud of you Clary. Working as hard as you do. I don't remember the last time you had a real break! Do you get one after the movie?"

"No," I reply, "this movie is my break! All the guys are off on remote islands and I'm here working. I'm back on tour about three weeks after it… the movie ends, but I've got to do a bunch of band stuff before that. But you know me, work, work, work…"

"Well you always have loved touring anyway, so that should be fun, where are you going this time round?" He asks, leaning back into the couch. He doesn't take his eyes off me for a second, as if he's afraid I might disappear if he does.

"Umm, it's a world tour, but we start with Europe. 50 shows in 60 nights. Two week break and then we start all over again in Asia. It's gonna be full on." I can't look him in the eye when I say the next sentence. "It's going to be great."

"Clary is something bothering you?" he says. I simply shake my head, not trusting myself to speak. "If somethings wrong, you know you know you can tell be about it right?"

"I'm not sure I that I want to go," I say, so quietly that I can barely hear myself. But Luke must have, because he looks at me for a minute before saying "Just the nerves talking Clary, once you're on tour again, in the thick of it, it'll be like you never left. You'll see."

But that's what worries me. The feeling that I had never left. The feeling that I could never leave. Luke doesn't understand - he couldn't. It wasn't just the tour I wasn't sure I wanted to go on, it was everything - all the press, the interviews, pre-show meet and greets, and post show parties. The band itself. I had told Simon all of this once, and he told me similar things to Luke - told me that I just needed a break. That was the reason I was doing this movie. A change, something to distract me from tour, but it wasn't working. Every night before I went to bed, I thought about how scared I was about what was coming up.

Obviously, I can't tell Luke any of this, and instead say, "yeah, I'm sure you're right," before taking a large sip of my coffee.

* * *

Hope you guys all enjoyed that. As always, please review with any comments, questions or suggestions - I love reading everything you guys write, and it makes me smile for a long time, so every review is very welcome and appreciated. See you next week!


	6. Chapter 6: The Trouble With Clary

**Chapter 6: The Trouble With Clary**

Hey guys, I'm back. Hope you enjoy this chapter - just a note, there has been a bit of a time jump. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Jace POV**

We only have a few days of filming left, and I haven't made much progress with Clary. I had learned how to keep my mouth shut around her, and we did get along now. She even mentioned my interactions with the cast – she was noticing all the little extra things I was doing. But whatever I am able to do, it seems like Sebastian is always able to one up me. The one thing that makes me happy about it, is that she shows almost no interest back. To Clary, Sebastian is only a friend, perhaps a close friend, but all and any options of dating are off the table for her. But that bloody didn't stop him from trying!

We are filming the scene today where Clary's character tells mine about the bet Sebastian's character made about her with his friends. Our characters hadn't been talking before this, because we were arguing about Sebastian's, so this is the first scene we get to film together this week. It is also a pretty emotionally demanding scene, especially on Clary's side, so it'll be good to see how well she handles it.

Once I arrive on set, I notice that Clary is already here, and I go over to talk to her. As I get closer to her, I see that she is actually curled into a little ball, fast asleep. I smile a little, before walking away, trying to be quiet – I don't want to wake her. I see that Magnus is sitting a little bit away, watching Clary. I walk over to him and sit beside him, watching Clary sleep as well. It was amazing that she could sleep in this environment.

"Has she always been able to sleep this easily?" I question Magnus. I have trouble falling asleep anywhere that isn't a bed in a dark room.

Magnus looks over to me, and then goes back to looking at Clary. "When you're on the road for months at a time, you learn to sleep anywhere. Especially when you're as tired as Clary gets."

"But why would Clary be as tired as she is when she's on tour? She hasn't had _that_ bad hours with the movie – sure some are a little early but…" I ask, confused.

"Sure, but she's not tired from the movie. For the past 3 weeks she's been prepping for tour. And she can't do it while at the set, so she has to go after. That's why she needed the earlier hours, so she could work in the afternoon and into night. Holidays are over for Clary."

"Prepping for tour?" I ask confused. How much was there to do? And what did he mean holidays where over… when did they begin? From what I know, Clary had like, two days off after her album press tour before starting the movie.

Magnus looks at me with an amused smile. "You don't know much, do you blondie? She has to go over all the music for all the songs they'll do on tour, she has to learn the new choreography, has to do interviews and photoshoots an sign fans merchandise for the VIP packs. She has to get in shape for the tour, and see a vocal coach, and talk to the hair and makeup and the clothes departments and approve everything they have planned, and test out lots of it – to make sure it'll look good on stage and that it'll last for the entire show. And you have to mentally prepare for something that big – a world tour, literally hundreds of thousands, probably millions of people expect an amazing and personal show. And that's only part of it. I would say at the moment, Clary is getting somewhere between four and five hours of sleep each night. But Clary being Clary, she's also doing a bunch of writing and recording at night, so she might not even be getting that much. It's not that bad for the guys, because they can sleep into the morning, and do the majority of it during the day, but Clary is here, filming." Magnus said all of this while looking at Clary, with a face that I can't really read. When he finally looks at me, I realise it's concern, and by the way he reacts to my face, I must have a similar expression.

I had noticed that Clary has been more tired around set lately, but I didn't realise the extent of it. I guess I never really considered how hard Clary had to work. It made me respect and appreciate her even more.

"Why is it overlapping that much, why can't you just start the tour later?" I asked, confused as to why this much work had to be placed on Clary.

"You don't know how much prep goes into a tour do you? We started planning this tour while they were still on their last. While Clary's been here, filming, she was supposed to be on holidays. Off somewhere where no one could find her, doing nothing. Her first holiday for years, pretty much – and it was still going to be a short one – only a few weeks. But instead, she decided to do a movie. She knew it would overlap. She knew the work. She signed up anyway." Magnus says, looking at Clary sadly. Clearly there was more to this story that Magnus wasn't telling me, but I wasn't going to press the issue.

A little while later, Magnus has to wake Clary up so that she can go and get her makeup touched-up. I watch her leave an see that she still looks so tired. I wish I could do some of the work for her. I smile at her before she goes into makeup, and she gives me a small smile back, before disappearing.

She comes back around twenty minutes later and looks pretty much the same, just less tired. More like when I first met her. She walks straight over to the set, and I see that Don is calling me over as well, so I go over to film the scene.

I sit on the couch while Clary stands by the door. I have my back turned to her, so I can't see what she looks like.

"Action!" Don calls.

I hear Clary whisper behind me, in character "You were right, Peter. I'm sorry I didn't believe you."

I can hear the pain in her voice, and no matter how much I want to run back and comfort her, I have to follow the script. "It's about time," I say, arrogantly, "what happened that made you finally see his true colours?"

"It was a trick, all of it." Clary says, and her voice shakes. Finally I'm able to turn and look at her, and I see tears streamy silently from her eyes. "He never really liked me, it was all a bet. How long would it take before I slept with him!"

Clary tries to laugh, but it turns into actual crying. I jump off the couch, and hug her. I can feel the cries racking her whole body and I hold her.

"Shhhh, shhh, it's okay, it'll be okay," I coo, still holding Clary tightly, "I'm sorry, this is my fault, I shouldn't have felt. I'm here now Lizzy, okay, it'll be okay… it'll all be okay."

"No, it's… my fault… I fell for it… I'm stupid. I deserve it," Clary chokes out between cries. I can feel that her tears have soaked through my shirt, and that she's holding onto me as tightly as I'm holding onto her.

Softly, I reply while running my hands through her hair, "you're not stupid, he is. And you don't deserve this. You're amazing Lizzy, and one day, you'll see it. One day you'll love yourself as much as I do."

I stop stroking her hair as I realise what I've said, and Clay pulls away from me, looking up at me.

"What'd you just say," she says, a few tears still gliding down her cheeks.

"It was a mistake," I say, looking anywhere but at Clary.

"Peter, do you mean what you just said?" she questions.

When I don't reply, she tries to pull me down to kiss me, and as much as I want to kiss Clary, I have to follow the script.

I let go of Clary and walk away, "not now, not when you're like this. If you do it, I want it to be for the right reasons."

Clary looks at the floor for a moment, before saying, "I have to go," and walking out the door, shutting it harshly after her, and I look at the door for a short while, until Don yells, "Cut!"

Don, and it seems everyone else on set, is standing quietly, looking at the door as Clary shyly comes back through. I look at Clary myself in awe. She quietly shuts the door while wiping her eyes and nose, trying to erase the evidence of the scene we had just filmed. Clearly she was not awe of everyone looking at her, because when she finally looks up and sees everyone, she instantly blushes.

She turns to me and quickly says "why's everyone staring. Was it too much. Was it horrible?"

Lost for words, I shake my head. I regain myself and say softly "quite the opposite. That was amazing Clary"

If possible, she turns a darker shade of red before asking Don "are we going to do another?"

Don nods his head slowly before saying, "that was perfect. We just got to get it from another angle."

After filming the scene again, Don gives us an early mark.

As soon as we finish the second time through, Clary wipes off the fresh tears and jets away. It takes me a minute to figure out she's already leaving before I quickly gather up my things, trying to follow.

Is she really that good at acting, or was she holding bottled up emotions, and was finally given a chance to let them out? No doubt she is talented, but not many people are able to put forward a performance like that the first time – many talented actors are never able to. Is Clary okay? I make a mental not to call Magnus and check up on her tonight.

I look around for Clary to try and talk to her now, but I can see her anywhere around, so I follow my body guards out to my car, ready to go home for the day. I follow closely behind my bodyguards, who are pushing fans out of the way. They seem particularly aggressive today, and so I'm relieved when I finally make it to my car. Just before we drive off, I see Clary leave the building. As soon as she steps outside the studio, over a hundred people start screaming and rushing towards her, taking advantage of the fact that she doesn't have a bodyguard with her. She looks up from her phone, and as soon as she sees how many people there are, panic fills her face. The security guards of the studio are trying to hold the people back, with little success. Clary turns, and pushes on the studio door, but it has already locked behind her – she's stuck. People begin to push her into the door, pull at her hair and clothes – anything to a piece of her. Although it's only been a few seconds since she left the building, I can already tell she isn't going to get out of this without getting badly injured. I immediately jump out of my car and run towards Clary, my security guards in tow. They split a path towards Clary, who at first fights against the grip I have on her wrist, but once she realises that its me, she grabs my hand and holds on for dear life while I pull her towards the car.

Once we are both inside the car, I pull her seatbelt on and click it in, before telling the driver to leave quickly. She doesn't say anything for a while and instead just looks out the window.

At the same time as I ask "where do you want me to take you," Clary says "thank you."

She looks over to me with a small smile. She is a mess. She has a bloody nose, her shirt is ripped and her hair is sticking out in all directions. She keeps wiping her nose every few seconds, adding to the collection of dried blood on the back of her hand. Once she sees this, she rips of a piece of shirt that was already hanging loose, and holds it up to her nose.

"Are you alright?" I ask. This had never happened to me before. I always made sure that I was with other people, or at least had some sort of disguise – and even when I was recognised, people weren't violent with me.

"Yeah I'm fine. Thank you for helping me," she says, squeezing my hand for a second. She still hadn't let go. I am momentarily distracted by how small yet strong her hand is, how callused it is – evidence of years of hard work, before I remember what had just happened. Now isn't the time for that.

"Why didn't you have anybody with you?" I ask. How stupid could she be, how trusting that everything would be alright?

"My bodyguard and Magnus weren't there, because we left early. I didn't think... I was distracted. I don't… I didn't think it was going to be that bad. We've been here for over a month. And it's never been like that before."

"Stupid," I hear Clary whisper to herself, before looking back out the window. The hand that is holding up the fabric to her nose is shaking, and I can tell by how quickly, and shallow she is breathing that she is trying not to cry.

"Where can I take you," I ask again. I have never seen this side of Clary before, and decided to proceed with caution. After what has happened at work today, with this on top, who knew what Clary would do next.

She lets out a big sigh, quickly wipes her eyes and then turns back to me.

"I'm staying at the Ritz, if you could take me there. Please" she says softly. She has this look in her eyes, a look I had never seen Clary give before. She looks so broken, like all of the problems of the world are on her shoulders. I simply nod and tell my driver where to go.

By the time we get to her hotel, her nose has stopped bleeding, but there is still dry blood under it, and a bruise is starting to form on the side of her head. She has also made no attempt to fix her hair. In short, she looks like a broken, beautiful, mess.

"Thanks," she says to me, offering me a small smile that doesn't even get close to reaching her eyes. She opens the door with one shaky hand, but I lean over and quickly pull it shut again.

She looks over at me with a questioning look in her eyes, maybe even hopeful.

I point over the paparazzi that are camped out the front of the entrance.

"I don't think you want them to see you like this," I say. I quickly take off my jacket, offering it to her before my driver gets out of the car and escorts her to the entrance, while she holds the jacket up, shielding her face from the paps.

The cameras starting flashing instantly, but none of the photos will be worth anything. She looks like some, weird, funny version of a blind ghost as the driver guides her to the door. They have no proof that it is actually her, and even if they did, nobody would want the photos.

I would have followed her in, stayed with her as long as she wanted – but I'm not sure she wants me at all. I'm not sure we're actually friends, but she doesn't seem to hate me anymore either. I'm not exactly the first person she would call in her times of need.

But the more I think about it, the more I want to be. And maybe she needs me to be.

* * *

Hope you all enjoyed that. If you think that was a lot, just wait for the next chapter! Please, please, please leave a review with any suggestions, comments or questions - everything helps! See you next week :)


	7. Chapter 7: The Trouble Continues

**Chapter 7: The Trouble Continues**

Hey guys, I'm back. Thank you for all of the lovely reviews you have been leaving, they really do make everything just a little bit easier. Just a warning for this chapter - there is mention of sexual assault (it's really minor). It is only a tiny bit of the chapter, so I will put a warning in bold before and after so you can skip it if your not comfortable reading that sort of thing (it'll say warning - stop reading now) - it won't really effect the chapter if you skip! Hope you enjoy!

* * *

 **Jace's POV**

I am sitting on my couch in my apartment, and I can't stop thinking about everything that happened this afternoon. Should I have stayed with her? Should I have gone up with her to make sure she was okay? I try to call Magnus, but he doesn't pick up. Maybe he's with Clary now. He had said that she has to do some recording tonight - something about an acoustic track. I don't bother leaving a message - what would I even say?

I walk over to my window and look down at the people walking on the street below me. I'm trying so desperately to forget Clary - she will be fine. From everything I have seen, it is _me_ who needs _her_ , not the other way around. I look over at the clock on the wall. 7.00. If I have any chance of forgetting Clary, I am going to have to go out, get outside of my own head. I grab my jacket, beanie and sunglasses and head out.

I keep my head down so I don't attract any attention and try to think of anything other than Clary. I know I need to get far away from where I currently am but opt to walk instead of getting a car or the subway, knowing either of those options will just draw attention to myself. And anyway, I could use the fresh air to clear my mind.

I don't really pay attention to where I am going before I notice the club I went to the night before we started filming. I hadn't actually been out again since that night - it was something I did to try and impress Clary and turn myself into someone worthy of her. But it seemed like she either hadn't noticed or didn't care.

I then remember that Clary had made some comment about seeing me here; had she been here herself, or had she just somehow heard that I came, and what I did? That girl will always be a mystery. I momentarily hope that she will be inside, as if waiting for me to come in and be with her. But I know it's stupid as soon as I think it. As if she would be here! After the afternoon she's has, she will be at home, or possibly working - but definitely not at a club.

I walk up to the bouncer, who asks to see my I.D without looking up. I pull my license out of my wallet and hand it over to him. Once he looks at this, he looks up at me, but couldn't be more interested in who I was – he just needed to check it was my I.D. Satisfied, he hands it back over and lets me inside. As I walk past him he mumbles something about too many of my kind coming these days.

Confused, I make my way into the club, sit down at the bar, and order a drink. I look out at the bodies on the dance floor. Seeing as it's only 7.30, there aren't many people, but there is enough to keep me satisfied - to keep me distracted. Half way through my first drink, I see someone with blonde hair that is so similar to Clary's. My heart beats faster at the possibility of Clary being in the club, and I get distracted watching the blonde hair. Some of it is stuck to the girls back due to sweat, but the rest of it bounces with the girl to the beat of the music, sometimes catching the light and momentarily turning a different colour. When it flashes red, I think back to the first day I met Clary, and the subsequent photos I've seen of Clary with red hair and think about how it suits her better. The red hair made her stand out, made her unique. I remember that I actually came here to stop thinking about Clary, so I begin looking at other people on the dance floor.

A girl comes and sits next to me, a little too close for comfort. I look her over once - tall, blonde and sexy. Exactly what I would usually go for. Looking at her though, I realised what I usually go for had become less appealing since I met Clary. This girl's flawless skin is not nearly as interesting as Clary's freckles, her long legs overwhelm me in a way that Clary's never have, and her eyes give away the fact that she wants to sleep with me, whereas Clary's green ones are constantly curious, a little mischievous, and there's always that hint of mystery that I was thinking about before. I find myself looking back to the blonde on the dancefloor, and they constantly wander back every few seconds, despite the girl talking to me. It seems like my mind is playing tricks on me, because all I can see is Clary.

After ordering us another round of drinks, the girl starts attacking my neck, whispering in my ear - anything to try and get a reaction out of me. I push her off and ask her to stop, trying to see the blonde girl on the dance floor more clearly.

"But… Jace" she says, confused, trying to move closer again. I look at her, and clearly my look says it all, because she turns around quickly and goes back to her group of friends who are all laughing. Of course, she would only want to be with me because I'm Jace Herondale, isn't that why everybody does it?

I go back to watching the blonde on the dance floor and see a flash of green eyes. I'm on my feet without even registering it, and slowly moving towards the girl. With each step I take, it's like a clearer picture of Clary forms in my mind, until it fully registers that I am actually looking at Clary. No tricks, this is Clary in the flesh.

I stand, watching her for a minute, before realising that she's not alone. I don't know how I didn't notice it until now, she's practically depending on him to stand up. I don't understand how she became this smashed in such a short amount of time. I hadn't even left her 2 hours ago, and in that time, she got dressed up, came here and met some guy, not to mention, got absolutely hammered.

She keeps nearly falling and is relying on the guy to catch her. After looking closer, I realise that it's Sebastian that she's leaning on, and I instantly feel my blood boil. I make my way further into the crowd of people to rescue Clary from this creep. I see her pull away from Sebastian, pulling him towards where all the seats are. He pulls her back though and starts kissing her. I stop short and watch the interaction. Sebastian is clearly the only one into the kiss, however Clary doesn't seem to be pulling away or trying to stop him. She really just seems to be there, unable to do anything. She doesn't really look like she has registered what going on.

 **Warning - stop reading now**

I make my move towards them again, but Clary pulls Sebastian towards the couches again, and this time he complies, half leading, half carrying Clary. I follow them, a couple of feet behind and watch as Sebastian lays Clary down on one of the couches and begins groping her and kissing her neck. I can faintly hear Clary calling out for Sebastian to stop, but it doesn't seem like he is going to. I walk up to Sebastian and tap him on the shoulder.

"Why don't you let me take her home, yeah? You can go back out and have fun, and I'll take care of Clary." I say, trying hard not to make him angry.

"Nah man, it's all good" he says, before turning back to Clary. At this point she can't even keep her eyes open, though I can see her desperately try, fighting to stay conscious.

"I don't think you understood me correctly" I say, harsher this time, "you are going to leave Clary alone, and I'm going to take her home, and take care of her."

"And I don't think you understood me," he says "Fuck off"

He turns back to Clary, and continues kissing her, rougher now. Her protests are becoming quieter, not because she is enjoying it, but because she is barely keeping consciousness. I quickly pull Sebastian off Clary and punch him in the jaw, clearly taking him by surprise. I punch him once more before kneeing him in the groin. Hard.

 **Warning - you can start again :)**

While he lays in a pathetic ball on the ground, I move around him and picked up Clary, quickly taking her outside and hailing a cab.

Clary is laying limp in my arms, and has bruises forming down her arms from where Sebastian had been grabbing  
her. I can also see some of the bruise on her head peeking out from under the makeup she had applied. Despite all this, I think she still looks beautiful. A beautiful mess. I just need to take her home, and make sure she is okay.

I can hear Sebastian following us, calling out both mine and Clary's names, and I want to get Clary out of here before he tries to pick a fight with me.

I hail a cab, and quickly pull Clary inside. Thank God there are no paparazzi around, or else they would have a field day. I sit Clary up in her chair and pull her seat belt on. The cabbie turns, and clearly recognises Clary and I, but just asks me where we want to go. Clary is asleep in her chair, and keeps slumping forward, or falling to one side when the car turns a corner. I see the cabbie look back at her every few minutes with a look of concern. I'm not sure if it's because Clary is passed out, if he thinks I'm going to do something bad to her, or if he thinks Clary is going to throw up in his car. But again, he remains silent.

By the time Clary and I had gotten to my apartment, around 40 minutes later, she has started to sober up a little bit, but she is still pretty out of it. She is able to keep herself partially up right and can walk with a lot of support. When we get inside, I bring her into my bedroom and put her on my bed. I go into the kitchen to her a glass of water, but when I come back, she is gone. I look around and see that my bathroom door had been closed. I place the glass down on the bedside table and walk over to the bathroom, knock softly on the door, before trying to open it, but it's locked

"Clary?" I call out. All I get in return is Clary vomiting.

"Can I come in Clary?" I ask, but gain am met with only vomit. I sit on the floor next to the door and wait a little while. After about 5 minutes, Clary walks, or more like falls out of the bathroom. I help her walk to bed and lay her on top of the covers. Before I can offer her the glass of water, she has fallen asleep. I turn her onto her side, tuck her under the covers and turn off the light.

I head out to the living room, thinking that the worse could have happened if I didn't go to that club tonight. The more I think about it, the more horrified I become, and tell myself I have to make sure Clary is alright before I do anything to that bastard Sebastian.

* * *

Okay, well I hoped you enjoyed that chapter and liked seeing a bit more protective Jace. Please review any questions, comments or suggestions - every little bit helps. See you next week!


	8. Chapter 8: Jace the Gentleman

**Chapter 8: Jace the Gentleman**

Hey guys, I'm back. There is a bit of Clace in this one (finally), so I hope you all enjoy that :)

* * *

 **Clary POV**

I wake up to the sun shining in my eyes. I peek one eye open, and slowly look around the room I am in. I notice a glass of water, 2 Advil tablets and a note that simply says 'drink up :)' on the bedside table next to me. I quickly down the two pills before actually sitting up and looking around the room. Everything is pristinely white, and insanely neat. It looks like some sort of a display room. I slowly get out of bed and head into the room I hope is the bathroom.

I stop short when I see my reflection in the mirror. My hair is everywhere, and my makeup is smudged across my face. I'm still in the same dress from last night, which is now extremely wrinkled. As I move to try and tame my hair, I see a series of bruises down my arm, which look like I had been grabbed firmly.

I clean my makeup off as best as I can and notice the massive bruise on the side of my head, and a slight black eye forming under my let eye. Souvenirs from my stupidity yesterday, I suppose. I start looking at the bruises on my arms again, trying to figure out if they are from yesterday as well, but I can't remember getting them - I hadn't noticed them until now. Everything after about 6.30 last night is a blur. I remember calling Sebastian, and opening a bottle of Vodka, but not much after that. Am I in Sebastian's house now? Did we….? I don't think we did, but you can never be sure. I peak back out to the bed and can tell that I'm the only one that slept in it last night, but i figure it's still better that I leave now, before Sebastian figures out that I'm awake.

I go back into the bedroom and see that my shoes are neatly placed at the end of the bed. I pick them up and get my bag off the nightstand. I get out my concealer and quickly cover the bruises as best as I can before leaving. I go to call Magnus or Diego to pick me up - I can deal with the consequences later - but my phone isn't in my bag.

I silently curse, before creeping out of the bedroom in pursuit of my phone, praying that its somewhere in the house. Everything is still a little dizzy, so I lean on the walls for support as I walk down the hall, but other than that, I seem fine. I put the dizziness down to a lack of food more than anything else.

I find the kitchen and see that my phone is on charge. I momentarily question my opinion on Sebastian if he thought of something as caring as putting my phone on charge, but after looking at the time and realising that I have to be at work in an hour, decide to leave anyway. I walk past the couch to get to the door but hear someone move on it. I freeze, and slowly look over to the couch, and am surprised to see blond, not Sebastian's dark brown. I move a little bit closed to see none other than Jace Herondale sleeping on the couch.

I notice how cute his hair looks when it isn't all done up, and that he barely fits on the couch - his feet are hanging of the end, and he is bent in a near angle.

For some reason, the idea of being in Jace's house calms me. I know I am safe here, welcome. As much as I hate to admit it, over the past month Jace has become a much better person. I tried to ignore him, because I didn't want to give him any ideas - I would be leaving soon, but that didn't stop me from noticing all the little changes about him. Maybe if I was in a different situation...

Knowing now that I am in Jace's house, and not Sebastian's, I put my bag and shoes down gently at the end of the couch and head into the kitchen to make us coffee and breakfast. Somehow, during the night I had ended up with Jace, and even if I couldn't remember it, I know it had to be for a good reason. All the little things he did - the phone, the pills, the shoes, plus the fact that he slept on the couch really clarified something for me. Jace Herondale is a perfect gentleman.

I get along making breakfast and everything seems to be in the perfect place - it is like I've been here a million times before, like I make breakfast here every single morning. I smile at the thought that this feels like home. I bring the toast and coffee into the living room where Jace is sleeping and place his food in front of him. I grab the cup of coffee I made myself and start flicking through my phone. I have a bunch of missed calls from Magnus, and a bunch of texts from all the guys asking where I was. I totally forgot about the acoustic session we were supposed to be doing yesterday! I walk about to the balcony and shut the door behind me, making sure not to wake Jace before calling Magnus. He picks up before the first ring can finish.

(Normal = Clary, **Bold = Magnus** )

 **Clary! Where were you yesterday? I was worried sick, you always show up. No calls, no text. No one could contact you. For all we know you could have been kidnapped, or dead in some gutter!**

I know. I'm sorry Magnus, I just had a hectic afternoon yesterday, and it slipped my mind. I guess I didn't hear my phone ring. When are we able to make up the recording? I can do it any time that works best.

 **We've already arranged to do it this afternoon. And I will be staying with you all day to make sure you don't go running off again. You better be at work on time today Clary! No excuses!**

Of course, I really am sorry Magnus.

 **I know you are biscuit. I'll see you when you get to work today, okay? No being late, or else I may have to put you on probation - you know how much Kit hated it.**

I won't be late, I promise! I'll see you at 7.30.

When I walk back inside, I see Jace sitting up on the couch drinking the coffee I made. I notice a piece of toast has been eaten as well.

"Everything okay?" Jace asks softly, moving over so there is more room on the couch.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" I ask, and after he shakes his head, I sit down beside him, picking up a piece of toast. "It was just some work stuff. Forgot I was meant to go to something yesterday."

Jace puts some of his blanket over me, and our legs touch, instantly warming me up more than the blanket ever could. I look over at him, but quickly look away when I saw his golden eyes are already trained on me.

"You know," he says, "I really should be the one making you coffee and breakfast after the day you had yesterday. I thought you would be mega hungover today."

"I've learnt some tricks over the past few years. Can't afford to be hung over on the road. And besides, it was the least I could do. I did sleep in your bed last night."

"How are you, after… everything yesterday?" Jace asks, in a soft tone.

"Oh, not too bad, I have a nasty bruise on my temple, and a bit of a black eye but all round pretty good. Thanks for yesterday by the way. Real lifesaver." I say, trying to brush off the pounding I felt in my head – probably just from last night. Apparently, I drank a lot.

"So, you don't remember last night?" He asks, turning to face me front on.

"I remember… coming home, inviting Sebastian over, and drinking a shit-ton of vodka. Don't really remember anything after that."

Jace looks at me as if he is deciding whether to tell me something or not.

"How did I end up here anyway?" I ask, picking up another piece of toast.

"We just bumped into each other last night. You looked pretty out of it, so I thought it would be best if I brought you back here. Are you sure you're alright?" he asks, eyeing the bruises on my arm.

I covered them up with the blanket before answering, "Yep. All good. Anyway, we're due at work soon, and I really can't afford to be late after I bailed on Magnus last night."

"Did you need anything to get ready? Did you want to have a shower or something?" Jace asks, bringing the plate and mugs into the kitchen.

"Umm, no I'm good I can shower and stuff when we get to set. What I'd really like is some clean clothes. Do you have anything I could borrow?" I ask, entwining my fingers. Jace has done enough for me the past 24 hours, I don't want to ask him for any more favours, but I did really want to get out of this dress.

"Yeah, sure." Jace begins walking to his bedroom, and I follow after him. After rummaging in his draws for a short while, he pulled out some clothes. "Okay, the pants are a pair that Izzy left here one time – don't ask, but I don't have any of her shirts – so you're going to have to use one of mine."

I grab the clothes he offered to me with a small thanks and head into the bathroom to get changed. I looked at myself in the mirror and see how ridiculous I looked. Izzy's pants were far too long, so I had to roll them up about seven times at the bottom to make sure I didn't trip over them. Judging by the size of Jace's shirt, however, I'm not sure I actually need the jeans; it looks like a dress on me. I tie it up in a knot at my lower back, and just hope I don't look like a total weirdo. As I leave the bathroom, I noticed how pleasant Jace's t-shirt smells - like fresh soap and sunlight. I suppose I either haven't been close enough, or didn't notice the smell before, but for some reason it comforts me, calms me. Jace is sitting on his bed, apparently waiting for me to finish. When he sees me, his face lights up with a playful smile, which he tires, and fails, to hide. I have never seen Jace like this before – but I like what I saw.

"You look very… cute" Jace says, standing up. He stands next to the door. "After you," Jace says, and we head out onto the street to head into work.

We chat in the car for a little while, but my phone keeps buzzing and when I see how many unanswered emails and texts I have, I have to start sorting through them. Jace leaves me in silence for 15 minutes, until I have gotten through the bulk of the messages. When he sees that I have put down my phone, he starts the conversation again.

"So, you go on tour again soon?" Jace asks.

"Yeah in about three or four weeks" I say, looking out the window. I really don't want to talk about the tour.

"I'm sure that will be fun," Jace says, glancing at me quickly before looking back at the road.

"Mmhmm, tours are always… great." It almost pains me to say it. Jace looked over at me with a raised eyebrow., clearly hearing the lie.

"Magnus was telling me the other day how much work you do before going on tour. Can't be easy doing that and a movie." I look over at Jace. Usually when people make that comment it is followed by 'but I'm sure it's worth it', or 'but you asked for this lifestyle'. But Jace doesn't say anything further. I can't help the small smile that appears on my lips, and when Jace notices, a similar, toothy smile appears on his face.

"The movie's been a lot fun." I say, looking at him, "in fact, I think it's just started to get better."

Jace looked over at me, the smile growing on his face.

"Eyes on the road, Herondale" I say, nudging his shoulder playfully. We drive into work in comfortable silence the rest of the way, but I can't help but notice the smile on Jace's lips never falters.

Once we get into work, I am practically dragged away by Magnus, who pulls me towards hair and makeup. It turns out he was serious about sticking by me _all day_. I turn to try and thank Jace for the ride into work, and everything else, but I see that he is glaring daggers at someone across the set. Just as I am pulled into makeup, I see that Jace is staring straight at Sebastian, who has a noticeable black eye.

I didn't have time to question anyone about what had happened, because Magnus is already talking to me about scheduling.

* * *

Thanks for reading, hope you all had fun. Please review with any comments, questions or suggestions - every little bit helps. Until next week :)


	9. Chapter 9: How to tell Clary

**Chapter 9: How to tell Clary**

Hey guys I'm back! I would just like to say a massive thank you to everyone who has favourited, liked, and reviewed this story! It really does make the writing worth it all. I was quite nervous about publishing a story, espically one like this, but all the nice comments and the support makes it all easier. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

 **Jace POV**

The moment I lay eyes on the son of a bitch, I quickly make my way over to him, pulling him by his wrist into my trailer. I make sure that Clary isn't watching what I am doing, but don't care if anybody else sees or hears Sebastian's calls to try a make me let go of him. Once I get him inside the trailer, I throw him on the ground and slam the door shut behind me. Sebastian stands up quickly, brushing his clothes off, trying to look unaffected and cool. He looks around the trailer, sits down on the couch and spreads his arms over the top, trying to take up as much room as possible.

I can tell by the way he is sitting that he is sitting that he is trying to look comfortable with the situation, confident even, but the look on his faces tells me all I need to know - he's shitting himself.

"You know Jace, if you wanted to whisk me away, and confess your undying love for me, you could have just asked," he says, trying to keep his voice steady, "I just adore confessions of love, especially when they're aimed at me."

"Cut the crap," I say, bluntly. I'm not sure if it is my tone, stance or stare, but something tells him that I'm not messing around, although I'm not sure why he thought I would tolerate his jokes to begin with. "If you ever think of repeating what you did last night-"

"Oh, I'm not sure what you mean Jace. I didn't do anything last night." He says, a smirk playing on his lip.

I grab the fabric of his shirt and pull him up off the couch so that he is looking me straight in the eye. Without letting go of his shirt, I continue. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. If I so much as hear that you touch Clary again, or any other girl without their permission, I'll ruin you. I'll smash that pretty little face of yours, I'll become your worst nightmare. You won't even be able to get a job scrubbing the toilets at McDonald's, so much as another job in Hollywood. If you so much as think of touching Clary again, it'll be the last thought you have. Are we clear?"

"You can't do this, you're threatening me! I'll tell my lawyers." He says, no longer trying to hide his fear.

"Oh, I'm not sure what you mean, Sebastian. I haven't said anything to you." I say, letting go of his shirt and smoothing out the material. I open the door and turn back to Sebastian. "That black eye looks nasty. You should really put some ice on that. It would be a shame of anything ruined that pretty face." I leave my trailer, searching for Izzy to find out what Clary's schedule looks like. I hope my threats will keep Sebastian away from here, but there's not a lot I can do if they have to film together.

I see Izzy walking towards the food table and run to catch up to her. She is focused on making her coffee before she looks up and sees me.

"Jace" she says, acknowledging my presence.

"Hey Iz, you wouldn't happen to have a copy of Clary's schedule, would you?" I asks, not looking up from the coffee I was making myself.

"Stalking isn't cute, Jace" Izzy says, in a playful tone.

I finally look up from the coffee I am making. "Please, I just really need to check something. If you don't want to give it to me, I can go ask Magnus."

Izzy rummages around in her bag while shaking her head slightly. After a short time, she produces a piece of paper, and holds it out for me. "I only have the schedule for the whole shoot, so you'll have to look specifically for Clary. Just promise me you won't actually stalk her."

"Of course," I say, flashing her a toothy grin.

"Hey Izzy, there is one more thing, I don't want to get into the details of it, but I don't think it's a good idea for Clary and Sebastian to be in interviews together… you know, on the press tour."

"Jace, just because he's a threat to your future life plans with Clary-" Izzy begins, but I interrupt her.

"It's not that. I'm afraid he's going to hurt her." I say seriously.

"Has he already done something?" Izzy asks, alert.

"I can't get into it, Clary doesn't know yet… I think it's only fair to talk to her first. I just thought maybe you would be able to do something? And you can't tell Magnus! Clary can tell him if she wants to…"

"Okay Jace, I'll see what I can do," Izzy says gently.

I thank her before she leaves. I quickly scan through the schedule and see that Clary and I have two scenes left to film together, one today and one tomorrow. As far as I can see, she doesn't have any scenes with Sebastian left. I thank the heavens above, before looking back down at what Clary and I will be filming today.

I see that we will be shooting out first kissing scene. I will be kissing Clary today. I think back to when I first met Clary, and how I didn't know how to handle her, so I just decided to be a dick. I smile to myself about how quickly I changed that mindset. How quickly she had made me change. I like the person I have become of her infinitely more than the person I used to be. I'm excited to finally be able to kiss Clary, even if it is just acting. But there is something else, something I haven't felt about kissing a girl in a long time; nerves. This would be one of the first times I will be kissing a girl I actually care about, and the thought of it scares me. It is just a kiss, right? And a fake kiss at that.

I shove the schedule in my back pocket when I see Clary leave hair and makeup, she is no longer wearing my t-shirt, which I find slightly disappointing, but I quickly shake it off and make my way over to her.

"Hey Jace," she says as I approach. She looks down at the coffee in my hand, which I haven't taken I sip of and has gone kind of cold. It is black, because I had been too distracted talking to Izzy to add anything to it. "I thought you like milk in your coffee?" she asks.

"Oh umm… yeah, usually," I say

back, unsure of where she was going with this. After everything this morning, are really just talking about coffee. She simply plucks the coffee out of my hand before taking a sip.

"Egh, why's it cold?" When I don't reply, she shrugs her shoulders and walks over to the bin, dumping the coffee.

I quickly follow after her, trying to think of a way to tell her what happened last night. She needs to know what Sebastian had done, that he couldn't be trusted, but this definitely isn't the time to do it.

"Hey Clary?" I ask "Yeah?" she replies, turning to look at me over her shoulder.

"Would you, umm, maybe, want to go out to dinner with me tonight?" I ask, looking down at my hands. I'm obviously not asking her on a date, but God, I wish I was.

"Tonight? I can't do tonight sorry, I have to do that recording session I missed yesterday." She says, not turning around this time.

"Oh ah, yeah, right. What about tomorrow night?" I ask, desperate to find time with her.

"We have the wrap party tomorrow night, remember? And I fly out the day after that. I can do tomorrow morning?" she says, finally turning around.

"Ah, yeah. Tomorrow morning sounds perfect." I say, slightly memorised by her smile. Unless I am imagining it, her eyes seem to light up at the idea of us going out together.

"Perfect." She holds a new cup of coffee out to me, steaming hot, with milk.

"hey Peter, open up!" Clary yells through a set door, in character.

I look down and notice I'm only wearing boxers, so I pick up a shirt and head over to the door, pulling it over my head as I open the door. "You know Lizzy, there's this crazy thing called sleep. People tend to do that in the mornings, you should really look into it," I say, annoyed while letting her into the apartment.

"Ha ha, you're very funny," she says sarcastically.

"Anyway, what are you doing here at…" I look at the clock, "five in the morning! Jesus Liz, you didn't leave till like one in the morning. How are you even functioning?"

Ignoring me, she sits on the couch, "I've been thinking."

"That's never a good thing."

"Oh, shut up, Peter," she says,

offended. "look, I've been thinking about what you said last night. You know, after I told you about Henry."

"And…"

"And… I'm happy that you said what you said. But are you sure you didn't rush into it? Just say it because you thought it was the right thing? I was a mess last night, I wouldn't blame you for saying anything to try and calm me down." She looks over at me, and says softly, "you can take it back if you want to. I'll understand."

"Are you finished?" she nods. "Good. I meant it. I've known that I like you for ages now - since before we graduated. I could just never work up the courage to tell you, and then that prick Henry came into the picture and everything got turned upside down. I'm sure - it's the most sure I've been of anything in my life. You've made me into the person I am today. I can't imagine my life without you - I don't _want_ to imagine my life without you! Elizabeth Sophia Greene, I love you."

Clary quickly smiles, transforming her face, before she runs to me. I pick her up and she wraps her legs around my waste, and we finally kiss. The camera spins around us as we kiss until Don finally calls cut.

Clary and I part, but I don't put her down, and she doesn't let go. Instead, we stare at each other, panting hard, not knowing what else to do.

* * *

A little bit of Clace for you all, finally! Hope you all enjoyed the chapter - sorry it's a little bit short, but I liked the place it ended. Please review with any question, comments or suggestions - like I said above, it really does help! Until next week...


	10. Chapter 10: Clary Finds Out

**Chapter 10: Clary Finds Out**

Hey guys, sorry this chapter is a bit late, I was really busy yesterday and didn't get around to uploading. Anyway, hope you all enjoy this chapter!

* * *

 **Jace POV**

I'm sitting inside the booth at Taki's waiting for Clary to arrive. The waitress gets over the fact that I am Jace Herondale after a couple of minutes, after she has to come over a couple of times to try and get me to order, but each time I only ask for another glass of water. I play with the plastic cup now, which I downed within the first minutes of having it. I don't know how to tell Clary. How do you tell someone something like that? It doesn't help that my mind keeps wandering off, thinking about kissing Clary yesterday. We ended up having to do the scene a couple more times, but nothing beat the feeling of finally getting to kiss Clary for the first time. Our first kiss. And it was fake.

The waitress comes over, and just fills up my glass, giving up on asking me if I'm ready to order. I nod at her appreciatively, but before I have time to take a sip, the doorbell rings, indicating that someone has come into the diner. I look up and lock eyes with Clary, who waves and comes and sits across from me. Seeing that I now have someone with me, the waitress comes over to take my order, and in my nervousness, I order a bunch of random foods. The waitress leaves after sending a funny look my way, which I also see on Clary's face when I look towards her.

I pick up the glass of water and begin drinking. Clary watches me as I finish the glass, a look of confusion masking her face the whole time. When I finish the glass, putting it back on the table, I pick up the menu and start reading the array of items they have on offer. I get through a couple of items before Clary prys the menu from my hands.

"Jace, I assume you didn't ask me here so I could watch you drink water and read a menu, as entertaining as that is," Clary says with amusement.

I let out a quick, shallow breath, before deciding that I can't just tell her point blank. "You go on tour soon right? That must be exciting."

"There's a lot to do before the tour. I have two weeks in LA just doing band stuff. I'll have to do a bunch of interviews, finalise our set list, and then memorise it, finish up on choreography, even though we barely move around. Oh and I have to film a music video." Clary says, as if it is the most normal thing in the world to film a music video. I suppose in her world it is.

"You're gonna be a busy girl then, eh?" I say. I was only just getting to know Clary, and she was going to be yanked away before I had a chance to find out who she really is. I'm going to miss Clary. I'm really going to miss her. I know I have to get to the point before I chicken out again, so I cut her off mid-way through a sentence about how she was used to being busy.

"Are you sure you're alright" I ask, adding "you know, after the club and… everything."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm totally fine. Magnus got me some weird cream stuff which is making the bruises go away, which is good. I really didn't need people seeing me with a bunch of bruises-" she began saying, but again I cut her off. It was now or never.

"Do you remember… anything to do with… Sebastian?" I ask, unable to look at her. Instead, I pick at the laminate on the table.

"Umm… no not really, just that I invited him to my house, and what you told me the other day. Why?"

I took a deep breath, "well, it's just, when I noticed you at the club, you were on the dance floor with him, and you two were really close, and when I came over to talk to you, he started kissing you and touching you. Then he half carried you over to a booth, where he kept doing stuff to you, and I could hear you saying no, so I had to pull him off you."

Clary just sits there, picking at her fingernails. I don't want to pressure her into saying anything, and I know that she is coping in her own way, probably thinking it through seeing if she can remember anything. Or that's what I thought. Instead, she confuses me by asking "Is that the only reason you asked me to breakfast. Is that all you wanted to say."

I think she's asking me if he did anything else to her, so I quickly say yes, so she knows there is nothing else to worry about. When I give my reply, however, she looks disappointed, as if she wanted me to say something else, but she quickly wipes the look off her face and looks up at me with an unreadable expression.

"Thank you for telling me, and thank you for helping me out. I really owe you one."

I instantly tell her that it's no problem, that it was nothing, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. After that, she just goes back to eating her breakfast, asking me questions about what I'm planning to do when the movie is over. I answer as best I can, that I really have no plans. I'm shocked that she didn't have more of a reaction. At first I wonder if she truly understood what I told her, but of course she did - she's not dense, and it isn't that hard of an idea to grasp. I look at her as she finishes her eggs. It then strikes me that this possibly isn't that big of a deal for her, that it has happened before, possibly something worse. Nobody else would react this calmly to this sort of news.

I can feel myself getting angrier with each passing second, that Clary is only twenty and has already had to deal with so much. She looks up from her plate gives me a small smile, and then excuses herself, saying she needs to go to the bathroom.

I watch her walk to the back of the restaurant, and attack the plate in front of me, which is, weirdly enough, chicken tenders and chips. I continue thinking about Clary for a couple of minutes, thinking about the things I would do to people if I found out they hurt her. Then it strikes me that maybe it was the way I told her. Of course I shouldn't have just said it like that. She's probably in shock and doesn't know how to process information that quickly, not something that big anyway. I then think about her weird reaction when she asked me if the only reason I asked her to come to breakfast was because of Sebastian. Why else would I ask her to breakfast, what other reason could she have wanted me to ask her for? Before I can figure it out, she comes back from the bathroom. She sits down across from me, and asks if I am ready to leave soon.

When I look up at her, I can see redness around her eyes, and can instantly tell that she's been crying. I can see hastily applied makeup, and tell that she's tried to cover it up, so I don't mention it. Maybe Clary is the type of person that likes to deal with her problems by herself, and I'm not about to question it.

At the same time we both put money down on the table to pay for breakfast.

"Clary, it's fine, I can pay." I say, picking up her money and trying to hand it back to her.

"I don't need you to pay Jace, and besides, think of it as a thank you, for the other night," she says, taking her money and placing it back on the table.

We end up arguing for a couple more minutes, and just agree to leave a large tip, so we both feel like we've paid.

We get a taxi into work, seeing as neither one of use drove to breakfast, and a bunch of pictures are taken of us getting out of the cab together. I notice how, the moment we get out of the cab, Clary walks far ahead of me, not talking to me at all. Of course, it's a short walk, and there's nothing really to talk about, but I realise how hard she has to work to keep rumours at bay. Perhaps it's even become subconscious now.

When we get inside, everyone is gathered in a big group, and once Don sees that we are here he begins talking.

"Okay, now that everyone is here, I just wanted to say a few words. Of course, we have our wrap party tonight, so I'll save my speech for then, but I just wanted to say a massive thank you to all cast and crew for all the hard work you've put in. This is one of the best shoots I've had for a while, I can already feel that this movie is going to be something special. We've only got part of one scene left to film today, and then you're all free! With regards to the wrap party tonight, due to popular demand we will be having a costume party! If you go over and see Isabelle, she has some costumes or characters in a jar that you will pick out, and that's what you'll come as tonight. We'll be ready to film in half an hour, so once you've chosen your costume, if you could get ready to that would be fantastic. That's all for now, have a great day." Ron gets off the box he was standing on, and heads towards the set.

We all walk over to Izzy, who, as promised is holding a massive bowl with a bunch of slips of paper in it. I see Sebastian walk ahead of me, and it takes all my self-control to not attack him, instead walking next to Clary. I see Sebastian pull out a slip that says 'emo' on it, and smile to myself. I see the look on his face as he walks away, and decide that maybe this party isn't such a bad idea.

I reach into the bowl and pull out a slip that reads 'preppy' and instantly regret any previous thoughts I may have had. Clary sees what I pulled out and starts laughing, and I think that maybe it won't be so bad. At least it will make Clary happy.

"Yeah, well I'm sure yours will be ten times worse," I say, as she goes to grab her own slip.

She opens it up, and it says 'slut'.

"Chose another one Clary, you don't have to go as that," I instantly say. What bastard would put that in a costume bowl? Clary, however, folds the piece of paper and slips it in her pocket.

"Are you coming tonight Izzy?" she asks, purposely ignoring me. I roll my eyes, and try to talk to sense into her, but Izzy cuts me off before I can begin.

"Of course, yours truly will be going as a rock star," Izzy says.

"Izzy, swap costumes with Clary," I say.

"It's fine Jace, leave it," Clary says to me, before turning to Izzy and saying, "I'm sure you're going to look incredible, I'll see you tonight." Clary walks off, leaving me standing with Izzy.

"You can't control her Jace," Izzy says, hitting my chest lightly, "and you never will be able to."

By the time I find Clary, I can see that she has been crying again, but the makeup department has done a better job of covering it up. Before I have a chance to talk to her, we are called to set.

As we are standing on set, and they are finalising lighting, it hits me that this is one of the last times Clary and I will film a scene together. I never really get emotional on the last day of filming, but I know I'm going to miss filming this movie.

It is the last scene of the movie, which ends in a kiss, and I know that this was one of the last times I will get to kiss Clary again.

Around an hour later, when we are doing our last take, I put everything I can into the kiss, and when I pull back, finishing what will likely be our last kiss, I'm panting hard. I'm not usually on to let others know when a kiss has affected me, in fact, I'm not usually one whole is affected by kisses, but this time is different. And by looking at Clary, I can tell it has affected her to. Before I have a chance to say anything to her though, she looks over to the edge of the set where Sebastian is standing, watching her with an iron gaze, and Clary is on her feet and walking towards him faster than I can process. If I had processed in time, I would be the one stalking over there to teach him a lesson for looking at Clary like that.

I get up to follow to make sure Clary is alright, but I see her pulling him over to a corner of the studio, where is is dimmer and hardly anyone walks past. It's clear that Clary is in control of the situation, but I keep watching, not taking any chances.

He had better remember my threats, and if he doesn't then I know exactly what I can do to remind him.

After a couple of minutes, Clary leaves Sebastian, walking out of the set with her security guard in tow, heading home for the day. I look back at Sebastian, who is standing shocked in the corner, unmoving. I smile at myself, and head towards the door, knowing that Clary can handle herself just fine.

* * *

Thanks for reading, hope you liked it. Please review with any question, comments or suggestions - literally every single review helps. I want to say a massive thank you to the people that have been leaving reviews, it really means a lot. See you next week!


	11. Chapter 11: A Party to Remember

**Chapter 11: A Party to Remember**

Hey guys, I'm back. I would like to say a massive thank you to everyone who has come back to keep reading. And an even bigger thank you to everyone who has left me a review - they are all so lovely and encouraging and make me more confident about my writing - and want me to write better (and more!). This chapter is over 3000 words to say thank you, so enjoy!

* * *

 **Clary POV**

"I'm going to talk, and you're going to listen to me," I say to Sebastian. "If you even _try_ to interrupt me once, I'll kick you in the balls. Hard. The punishments will get worse each time you interrupt. Understand?"

He opened his mouth to respond, but my eyebrows shot up, clearly indicating that he shouldn't be talking. He got the point, and nodded, slowly closing his mouth. He looks around to see who is watching, but I begin talking anyway. I was not someone you wanted to mess with when I am pissed.

"Good. Jace told me what you did the other night, or what you _tried_ to do. If you even think about touching me again, I'll ruin you. I'm usually a nice person, but I have the ability to do bad things.I can make sure you get locked up in some disgusting cell. I can make sure you never get a job in Hollywood again. I can make it so you can't even show your face. Got that?" He nodded again, so I continued.

"If I _ever_ find out that you touch another person who doesn't want to be touched, God help you. I have the media on my side, and I'm friends with a lot of people in high places. We only have a few days left, but if I even see you _looking_ at me weirdly, know that I have a lot of people who would want to do bad things to you. Don't forget, I'm in a band with three very strong, very protective men, that all think of me like their little sister. And if I hear you tell anyone about this conversation, the consequences would be very bad for you. Now, did you get all that, or do you need me to go over anything." Sebastian quickly shook his head, already looking around to see if anyone saw our confrontation. "Good." I say.

"If you can keep quiet, and not do the vile, disgusting things you attempted to do to me to anyone else - like a decent human being, then I won't bring it up either. I don't have the time to deal with it, and frankly I don't need the media hounding me about it. Know, every single reason I'm not turning you in is because of me, not because of you."

I walk over to Diego, my security guard and ask him if he's ready to go. He escorts me out to the car where I stop to sign some stuff and take pictures with fans. Because it is our last day of filming, more people have come out to the set, so it took me a little while to get through the crowd, but I made sure Diego was sticking by me the whole time, and he made sure nobody got too close. I don't need a repeat of the other day. After I've been outside for around 15 minutes, I see, or more hear the magnitude of screams, as Jace comes outside. I continue signing things, but Jace quickly catches up with me.

"Hey Clary, do you have time to chat quickly?" I asks, while signing a fans poster.

"Umm, I don't actually. I have to get home and get ready for the party, but we'll have plenty of time to talk there right?" I ask, taking one more picture.

"Yeah, sure. I'll see you tonight." Jace says, squeezing my hand quickly, before moving to his own car.

I make my way to my own car, and sit in the back with Diego. He doesn't usually say a whole lot, but I have slowly gotten to know him over the past couple of years, as he always comes on tour with us, and is around while we are in L.A, or doing other odd jobs in America. He is the only security guard we still had since the band first got signed. We had even convinced him to break up with this horrible girlfriend of his, who was only really dating him to try and get to the celebrities he looked after (which was evident after she made a move on Simon).

"Excited to get back to L.A?" I asks.

"Of course, it'll be nice getting back into routine," he says, "and to see the guys again."

Even though we had been doing some band stuff, the guys were already in New York to visit their families before they went on tour, so Diego didn't really get to see them that much.

"Wow," I say, mocking hurt, "is my company not good enough for _perfect_ Diego?"

I saw a small smile play on his lips, I small win in its own right, "of course your company is more than enough. It would just be nice to be around some people who aren't so obviously crushing on Jace Herondale."

My mouth opened in shock and I turned towards Diego who was giving me a look that just says 'deny it. I dare you.' Instead, I turned to look out the window, trying hard not to blush, but I could tell I was failing miserably. I heard Diego chuckle in the background. Had I really been that obvious?

I'm sitting on the closed toilet in my bathroom, doing my makeup. Of course, Magnus had offered to hire a makeup artist to do my hair and makeup for the night, but I decided against it, and was glad that I had. I barely ever got to do my own makeup, so it was nice to finally get to do what I wanted to do. It kind of reminded of me all the drawing I used to do. I'm concentrating on my smokey eye, when one of my favourite songs starts to play. I turn it up to full volume, and lightly sing the lyrics as I continue to do my makeup.

 _Somewhere in her smile she knows_

 _That I don't need no other lover_

With every line I sing, all I can think of is Jace. Did he know? If Diego has figured it out, then maybe Jace has as well. Is it crazy to think maybe he likes my back? He definitely likes me more than when we first started filming, but maybe that is just out of necessity. Maybe he is faking it all. I finish putting on my red lipstick and walk over to my closet.

 _Something in her style that shows me_

 _I don't want to leave her now_

I know that my piece of paper says slut, but that doesn't mean I actually have to show off a lot of skin. Instead, I pull on a pair of black skinny jeans, black boots and an old rolling stones t-shirt that I think used to be Kit's. I usually wear it as a t-shirt to bed because it's a bit big, so I tie it up at the back, which exposes a bit of my midriff. I look myself over in the mirror. Apart from some of my stomach and back, no other skin is revealed, but there is still something about it. I think it will be passable enough as 'slut' - I'm definitely not going to wear a mini skirt that showed half my butt.

 _Something in the things she shows me_

 _I don't want to leave her now_

I turn off the music, throw my hair up in a messy bun, grab some last minutes rings and my necklace, and am out the door. When I met Diego in the lobby, he gives me an approving nod, before leading me out to the car. Lots of photos are taken in the short time it takes to walk to the car, and I just hope that none of the guys get angry. I will be able to calm them down, but it's always better if they don't get worked up in the first place.

When I get in the car, and finally have time to think, I realise that I don't really want to go to a party tonight. It is the first night I have 'off' in ages, and I actually just really want to spend it in bed. There is a large part of me that wants to turn the car around and tell Don that I had gotten a particularly bad case of food poisoning. I'm about to ask the driver to turn around, when I remember that I had said I would talk to Jace that the party. I sink back into my chair, still not in the mood to party, but excited to see Jace.

As I walk into the party, my eyes are instantly drawn to the unmissable pastel colours that are Jace Herondale. I fight hard not to laugh as I take in his white pants, baby pink polo shirt and light green cardigan, that he has artfully tied around his neck and shoulders. I remember what his piece of paper said; preppy, and finally let the laugh I had been holding in, burst out. As soon as he hears it, Jace turns towards me, looking pleased to be distracted from the conversation he was in.

He quickly excuses himself and makes his way over to me, dodging someone else who wanted to talk to him on the way over. The closer he gets the more details I notice - the leather boat shoes, the gelled back hair, the slight hint of blush on his cheeks - and I can no longer keep down my laughter.

By the time he makes it over to me, I have tears in my eyes, and somehow manage to choke out "you look amazing," in between laughs.

He lets me finish laughing, which admittedly takes a few minutes, before returning the compliment. His eyes run up and down my body slowly, before he says again "truly amazing."

I smile, looking down at my outfit. As I do, I realise that Jace has never seen this much of my skin before. Sure, he had seen me in my dress that night at the club… but with the state I was in I hoped he wasn't paying attention to my body. Now that I am here - sober - and talking to him, it seems to hit him all at once. He doesn't seem able to keep his eyes of the small parts of exposed skin - my midriff, my shoulder, my neck… As his eyes seem to heat up everywhere they look, leaving a hot trail across my body. As he looks, his eyes somehow seem to glow a more intense gold. I know it's not actually possible - but I can't keep my eyes of his.

After another moment, Jace clears his throat, and says something about getting me a drink, quickly leaving.

"Just a lemonade please!" I yell after him, and he holds up a thumb to acknowledge that he heard me.

I walk over to an empty couch and sit down, trying to clear my head of the interaction Jace and I just had. I look around the room at everyone's costumes, noticing that everyone did a good job. Izzy is in a tight leopard print skirt with fishnet stockings; a rock star, I know I will never look like that, but it's alright. I sigh a little before continuing to look around the room. My eyes almost hurt as I look at Magnus, who looks like a glitter bomb exploded all over him. It was all over his skin, in his hair, his nails were covered in some sparkly gel, and of course, his suit was about as sparkly as they come.

Jace comes back and sits down next to me, handing me a glass of lemonade, which I take gratefully.

"So," I say, unable to look him in the eye, "we're all finished with filming. I leave for L.A. the day after tomorrow. This is likely the last time we'll see each other."

"You're not getting rid of me that easy," Jace replies with an easy smile, "we still have to do the press tour, so I'll see you in a couple months."

"Glad to hear it, Herondale," I reply, smiling up at him.

Just as Jace is about to reply, Sebastian walks past, and stops walking in front of us. I shoot him daggers, telling him to leave now, and to remember our conversation from a couple of hours ago. His eyes shift between Jace's and mine, and he decides to continue walking. I smile to myself, satisfied, and look over to Jace, who is still giving Sebastian a look I would be terrified to be on the receiving side of. I punch him lightly on the shoulder.

"I can take care of myself. I'm a big girl, you know" I say, "but thank you for looking out for me."

"Not a problem at all, little red," he says the last two words slowly, obviously trying to annoy me.

Izzy comes over to talk to Jace for a minute, and I look at her outfit. Just like I was thinking before, I would never be able to look like that. I worked out for hours a day, (admittedly it was to keep fit, not look good) but I had never been confident with my body. I have no hips or boobs, and I'm short. Essentially, I look like a 13 year old boy who played too much sport, and hadn't had his growth spurt yet. But Izzy... She has curves in all the right places, and knows how to show them off. You could see, just in the way that she walks, that she is happy with her body, confident. Jace is constantly surrounded by these types of women all day, of course he wouldn't go for someone like me.

But then I think of how he stared at me when I first arrived. It was like he couldn't take his eyes off me. He was probably just shocked that I had any definition in my stomach - I don't think he knows how much I work out.

As I tune back into the conversation, I hear Jace yell "see you later, Lightwood," as Izzy walks off.

 _Hold on_! I think. _Lightwood._

"As in Isabelle Lightwood?" I ask Jace. Puzzled, he just nods his head.

"Hey Izzy! I yell, running after her.

She turns to me with a smile. "What can I do for you Clary?"

"Are you related to Alec Lightwood?" I ask, feeling a little bit stupid. I feel Jace standing behind me, his chest pushing into my shoulders, and I feel a shiver run through my body. As much as I want to think about that, and only that, I have to deal with the matter at hand, but I press into him a little more nonetheless.

"Yeah, I'm his little sister," she says with a slight smile, looking between Jace and me.

"And you decide to tell me this now! We've been filming this movie for what, three months, and only on the last night do you tell me you're Alec Lightwood, aka one of my best friends and band mates, sister!" I say, all in one quick breath.

"Well, it took you long enough to figure it out. I didn't want to coming running to you, which would look _over the top_ needy," Izzy says, matter-of-factly.

"I wish you did come to me! God, how have we never met till now? I've been over to Alec's house plenty of times. I've met his, well _your_ parents, so many times, and I'm in love with your little brother! How have I never met you before now?" I say, probably sounding a little over the top myself.

"Well, I don't really come home unless it's for a holiday, and you guys are almost always on the road for holidays, or we meet in New York, and Alec always says that you don't want to come to New York. So really, it's your fault we've only met now," she says playfully.

"Well, I didn't want to be an intrusion," I say, a little shyly. It was better that I stayed in L.A., usually with Kit for the holidays - we always had fun together anyway.

"Oh honestly, the way Alec talks about you, you'd think he wants you to be his sister over me! You would never be an intrusion. It would be nice to have another girl around the house."

"Thank you, Izzy," I say shyly, leaning further into Jace.

I hear her stilettos stomping away and turn to face Jace. "You didn't know, did you?" He looks down at me, a little guilty and I hit him in the chest.

"Jace! You should have told me." I say.

"Well, in my defence, I promised Izzy I wouldn't, and I'm a man of my word. And besides, I didn't figure it out, she told me." Jace says, holding his hands up in defence.

Right then, the music turned off, and all but the stage lights turn off. Don gets up on the stage, and it takes everyone a minute to calm down.

"How is everyone tonight?" he asks, and gets a bunch of yells in response. He laughs before continuing, "Now, those of you who are perceptive, will have noticed that this is in fact a karaoke bar. You have all come dress as something tonight, and now it is time to showcase the new you. Pick a song that you think reflects your character, get up here and give it a go. There will be prizes for best performance, so give it everything you've got!"

Don's announcement was met with another round of rowdy cheers, and Jace turned to me. "Well I guess we all know who's going to win best performance! It's not even a fair competition."

"Come on, it's anybody's game!" I reply

"That's where you're wrong. Nobody's got a chance if I'm up there. I'm going to knock everybody's socks off!"

I laugh at Jace, glad that he's not taking it too seriously. However, when Don comes up to ask us for the songs we are planning to sing, Jace whispers his in Dons ear. Actually whispers it! I decide if Jace is going to take this _that_ seriously then I will as well. Once Jace tells Don his song, who laughs at his selection, I whisper my song in his ear as well.

"Nice choice," Don says, before moving on to ask other people for their song selections.

Around half an hour (and some pretty shocking performances) later, Jace is called up to the stage. I tell him to 'break a leg' while he is walking up to the stage. I go over to stand with Izzy and Magnus, who had both decided not to perform. As soon as I hear the soft strums of the guitar I let out an embarrassingly loud laugh, but it is drowned out by similar laughs and cat calls from people around me.

Jace spends the entirety of 'Big Girls Don't Cry' skipping around the stage and doing over the top actions to the words. I will never admit it to him, but he actually does have a nice voice. Once he finishes the song, he does a couple of over the top bows the the audience, before heading straight for me.

"Cute," I say, as he sits down next to me.

"I'd like to see you do better," Jace says in a taunting voice.

"Just watch me," I reply..

When I get on the stage, and look out to the all of the people in front of me and feel comfortable. Even as I begin singing, I felt completely comfortable. This is what I know how to do, what I am good at. Before, I had been acting, something everybody else was good at, and finally I am back to doing something that felt as familiar as brushing my teeth.

I stare Jace right in the eyes as I sing "Andante, Andante. Just let the feeling grow". For the rest of the song, I walk around the bar, sitting down next to people, and having fun with the performance. I didn't regularly get to move around while I am signing, so I take full advantage of it now.

I finish the song, standing back on the stage, and am met with a thunderous round of applause. I can see Jace standing, with a big smile on his face, and as I walk down to him, I can tell he doesn't care about beating me anymore.

"You know, I've never heard you sing before. Like, actually sing. You're bloody amazing!" he says, still smiling down at me.

I beam up at him, before replying "you're not half bad yourself," and after he rolls his eyes I say "no, actually you're really good. For an actor"

He gives me a look of mock hurt for the last part I added, before grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the private function room, into the bar outside.

After dancing for a little while, Jace can see how tired I am, and leans down and says in my ear "you should really get going. You look like you need some sleep."

I yell back over the music "do you want to come back to mine for a bit?"

I see him nod, and we both go back into the private room, to get our things. Just as we are about to leave, I remember how many paparazzi will be outside, and stop walking. After a moment, Jace realises I have stopped and turns back to me.

"If we leave here in a cab together, at this time of night… it's going to be everywhere tomorrow. You saw how many paparazzi were outside when we came here! They won't leave until we do."

"So what, we just call it a night?" Jace asks, looking a little disappointed.

"No… there's plenty of ways around it. I'll text you where I'm staying and you can come meet me. Just wait a little bit before leaving."

"I'll see you soon…" he yells, heading back into the function room.

I leave, excited at what the rest of the morning may have to bring.

* * *

Hope you liked that! Please leave a review with any questions, comments or suggestions you have - as I talked about at the beginning, literally everything is so helpful and encouraging.

Song Mentions:

Something by the Beatles

Big Girls Don't Cry by Fergie

Andante Andante by ABBA

Until next week ... :)


	12. Chapter 12: The Night After

**Chapter 12: The Night After**

Hey guys, thanks for coming back again. Hope you enjoy the chapter!

* * *

 **Jace POV**

I knock on Clary's door, feeling a little bit awkward about the whole ordeal. I had never felt the need to sneak around with a girl before – if the press found out, then they found out. I had never hooked up with a girl I was embarrassed about before, and I didn't care if people knew that I had a couple of one night stands. Sneaking around had always seemed like more effort than it was worth. But Clary wanted to sneak around, and if it made Clary happy, then I would be happy to do it. I would do anything if it meant making Clary happy.

Clary answers the door, and I notice that she's swapped out her skinny jeans and heals for pyjama shorts and slippers.

She invites me inside, and I sit on the couch while she disappears into the kitchen. She quickly reappears with a bottle of wine and two wine classes, as well as a packet of goldfish.

I pour us each a glass of wine, while Clary turns on some music. Nina Simone begins to play, and Clary comes and joins me on the couch.

"Interesting choice in music," I say, leaning back into the couch.

"You don't like Nina Simone? If you're really against it I can change it, but I think it's crazy not to appreciate it," she says, already getting up to change the music.

I pull her back down to the couch, making sure that she's sitting closer to me than before, and I hear her laugh. God I love that sound. "It's not at all that I don't like Nina Simone, it's just not what I'd expect you to listen to."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asks, picking up a few goldfish.

"Well, it's just, the music you and your band make, it's pretty different to this kinda stuff. You guys seem to do more pop these days, and more of an alternative rock feel back in the day." I explain, not wanting to offend her.

She leans into me and closes her eyes, quietly humming along to the music. I don't think she's going to say anything more on the topic, but she slowly opens her eyes again and explains "I'll listen to, and enjoy, pretty much any music. I've never been able to get into heavy metal. I don't know why, I still appreciate it though. Every type of music has its time and place. I feel like her voice, Nina Simone's, in itself tells a story. I'm probably making no sense, but just the sound of her voice, I could listen to it all day. It takes me somewhere else. I'm being stupid – talking out of my ass." She says with a small laugh.

I want to tell her that I know exactly what she means. That when I hear Clary laugh, it's like being taken back to grade school, where I had no problems, and could spend all day running around in the sun. That her laughter sounds like sunshine feels. That I could listen to Clary all day. But instead I just say, "no, I get what you're talking about."

We sit on the couch for a little while longer, just sharing the wine, listening to the music. Even though we're doing nothing, it's one of the best night I've ever had. There's just something about Clary. She may only be twenty, but she has this calm that comes with her. Her presence alone makes me feel better, and I just want to be next to her all the time. That's why, at 2.00, it kills me to say "It's getting pretty late, and you have a flight tomorrow, so I should really get going."

"You can stay here," Clary says quietly.

"What?" I ask, not sure if I heard her right.

"It's pretty late, and you'll be hard pressed to get a cab up here at this hour. And it's the least I could, after everything you've done for me over the last couple of days."

"Okay," I say back. Clary begins picking up the empty wine bottle and packet of goldfish, so I grab the wine glasses and follow her into the kitchen. Clary puts the rubbish in the bin, which is under the sink, and so I stand behind her, waiting to put the wine glasses in the sink, but I don't think Clary realised how close I was standing and turns into me. Our chests are touching. I quickly put the wine glasses on the bench, but I can feel her heartbeat going a million miles an hour, probably speeding to keep up with mine. I'm look down into her eyes, trying to figure out every single colour in them. I get lost in her eyes, when a piece of her hair falls into one.

Before I know what I'm doing, I gently push the hair back behind her ear, and then let my hand cup her check, rubbing my thumb over her cheek bone. I can feel her breath on my hand now, soft and even.

I lean down, and slowly, softly our lips touch. Quickly, the kiss becomes more urgent, like we're both trying to tell each other something through the kiss. I can taste the wine and artificial cheese on her, just like we're still sitting back on the couch, sipping from our own glasses and feeding each other from the packet.

I pull her hair out of its bun, and begin twining my finger in it. I can feel Clary's own hands playing in my hair, running up and down my arms, slipping up the back of my shirt. I'm not sure how long we kiss, it could be minutes, or it could be days – but I know I don't care. The world slips away so that everything is Clary.

I can feel that Clary is becoming a little shaky on her legs, and don't know if it's the drinks or the kiss. Maybe both. Nonetheless, I pick her up, and she wraps her legs around my waist. I deepen the kiss again, and begin moving out of the kitchen.

Sometime later, we find ourselves in the bedroom, and I gently place Clary down on the bed, and look down at her. Her lips are red and swollen, and her hair is a mess, but she's never looked more beautiful to me.

She's looking up at me panting, when she sits up, never breaking eye contact with me, and pulls off her shirt. I look down to her body, and whisper "beautiful," and as my eyes travel back up to hers I see a deep purple bruise on her shoulder.

Suddenly, I remember everything that Clary has gone through the last couple of days, and how much we have had to drink during the night, and I can't help but feel that I'm taking advantage of her. I pick up Clary's shirt, and put it back over her head, and help her pull her arms through the sleeves.

She's giving me a confused, kind of hurt look, and tries to pull me back to her, but I quickly get off the bed.

"What the hell?" I hear Clary ask quietly, "did I do something wrong?"

"God, no!" I say, _that was the best thing I think I've ever experienced._ "It's just. It's late. And we've had a bit to drink. And you may be in bit of a vulnerable position. I didn't want you to feel like I was taking advantage of you." I say, fighting to keep my voice even, to stop my mind from wandering to what we were doing one minute ago, to Clary's body...

A small smile plays on her lips, and she gets of the bed and meets me, grabbing one of my hands, with her own smaller, but far stronger hands. "You're not taking advantage of me," she whispers, trying to pull me back to the bed.

I stand my ground "You might think that now, but who knows what you'll think in the morning. I- what we just had... Jesus, it was amazing. I wouldn't want anything to ruin the memory of tonight. I don't want to take advantage of you… I respect you too much."

Clary let's go of my hand, but doesn't seem to want to give up. She lets out a small laugh before saying, "Jace, I promise you, you're not taking advantage of me. I don't think it now, and I won't in the morning." She obviously sees the speculation on my face, because she keeps talking. "Jace please, I want you to. Maybe I'm taking advantage of you, huh? Ever think of that?"

It's probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I quietly tell Clary to get some sleep, and turn off the light. Just as I'm about to shut the door, I hear Clary quietly asking me not to leave. "Please, please stay. We don't have to do anything, I promise." I can't help but hear how vulnerable she sounds. Almost broken.

It breaks my heart, but I turn to Clary and tell her I'll be on the couch if she needs anything, and shut the door before I can hear her response. I let out a breath I wasn't aware I was holding, and head back to the living room.

I lay down on the couch, and am staring up at the ceiling. As much as I wanted to stay with Clary, I don't trust myself in the same bed as her, and the last thing she needed right now was some guy taking advantage of her.

I sigh, turning on my side. As I begin to fall asleep, all I can think of it our kiss, and how amazing it was. And how amazing Clary is.

I wake up a few hours later, but it's still dark out. It's probably because I am about a foot too tall to be sleeping on this couch. I roll over again, and slowly start to fall asleep, and just as I'm about to pass out, I hear music coming from somewhere in the apartment.

I sit up, listening for a little while longer, and can only hear a guitar, coming from somewhere down the hallway.

I get up, following the sound, until I come to a room next to Clary's bedroom. It's lit by just a single lamp, and in the middle, Clary is sitting with her back to me. She's softly playing the guitar, and she has pencil stuck behind her ear. She is swaying gently to the music that she's playing, the gentle guitar melody seeming to override her body movements.

I stay at the door for a little while longer, until she stops playing and begins writing on the sheet of paper in front of her. When she picks up her guitar to start playing again, I walk into the room and sit on the chair beside her.

When she looks over at me, I can see the bags of her eyes illuminated by the lamp.

"I always seem to be able to write when I can't sleep," Clary explains, "but it seems like more and more these days, I'm in this room almost every night, for hours at a time, and I just see this blank piece of paper staring back at me, questioning me, mocking me."

"And tonight's different?" I ask, looking down at the sheet which has notes written all over it.

She avoids the question, and continues as if I hadn't asks, "almost every time, before we go on tour, I find myself in a room, just willing myself to be able to write, and nothing comes. I love performing, it's one of the only perks of what I do. But I leave tomorrow, for sixty nights, or some shit. And then we get a quick break and then it starts all over again. Despite being with the guys, and having this big team of people who support us, I've started to feel so _damn_ lonely on tour. And the only thing that brings me out of it is performing. It's like, I need thirty thousand people screaming at me to realise that I'm awake. But it only lasts two hours. And then I'm counting down for that moment again for the next 22 hours. And all of the stuff I have to do in-between each concert... All of the press and the photo shoots and the PR and the meet and greets, all of it just makes me want to stop."

She's looking down at her bare feet, and I don't really know what to say. She always seems so positive, I never would have imagined that she felt like this. I'm about to say something, I'm not sure what, but anything to fill the silence, when she starts talking again, apparently answering my previous question.

"But then tonight, when I was with you. I was awake, and alive, and happy. And you made me forget that I'm about to go on tour again. And I know it's selfish of me, but I just didn't want that feeling to stop. I'm sorry, it was selfish of me. I'm just so confused, and scared. "

I can see her fiddling with her fingers, slowly beginning to breathe more quickly. She quickly wipes a tear away before it has a chance to fall, letting out a big sigh.

I pick up the sheet that is sitting in front of her, and begin asking her about her writing. I ask her how much she does it, what she likes writing best. Talking about it seems to calm her down, helps her forget about everything else. She becomes completely consumed in talking about it. Just like before on the couch, music seems to consumer her.

I tell her the story about the time, when I was five, that I wrote a song for my parents to convince them to have another child. That I wanted a little brother so bad that I didn't really understand what I was asking them.

I can see Clary is beginning to get sleepy, so I guide her back to her bedroom. As I help her get into the bed, and pull the covers over her, I hear her, so quietly that I almost miss it, asking me to stay again. She says it this time almost embarrassed, as if I'll say no again. Instead, I walk around to the other side of the bed, and get under the covers with her. I find her hand, and hold on tight, letting her know that I'm not going anywhere.

And even though it was only out hands touching, and Clary falls asleep almost instantly, it was the most comfortable I had ever been in bed with another person. It was the first time like I truly felt like I belonged. The first time I wanted to be there.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed that chapter. Sorry for the tease :( I know it maybe ended a little different to how to how some of you may have wanted, but come back next week for the next day... I think it'll have everything you want!

For the part where Clary is playing the guitar, if you want to know the sort of thing I was thinking put 'Harry Styles Two Ghosts Intro' into Youtube, and any guitar thing he does while at a live concert is the sort of thing I was thinking - but feel free to imagine anything you want :). As always, please review with any questions, comments or suggestions you have - everything helps! See you next week.


	13. Chapter 13: The Truth About Clary

**Chapter 13: The Truth About Clary**

Hey guys, hope you enjoy this chapter. You'll get to learn a little more about Clary's past... This is a pretty long chapter so hope you all like it.

* * *

 **Jace POV**

I slowly blink as the sunlight catches my eye, forcing me awake. I look down and see Clary's head rested on my chest. My hands are wrapped tightly around her torso, and our legs have become tangled. I can't keep the smile off my face, as I feel Clary's slow breaths matching my own, her strong heartbeat against my hip. I look out the window, not daring to move in case I wake Clary. Despite the fact that the covers had come off us sometime during the night, Clary's body warmth has kept me more than warm. As I look out the window, I can't help thinking how great this moment is. It is really nothing special, a normal morning for many couples. But it is a rarity in my life, and I can't help but think that I'm never going to experience a moment this unmanufactured, this perfect, again.

I continue looking out the window for some time, just enjoying the peace, when Clary wakes up. She looks up at me, with a lazy smile, her eyes a little puffy from sleep. I'm sure that I've never seen anything as beautiful as Clary in this moment in my life. She too, looks out the window, just enjoying this little piece of freedom we've found with each other.

I begin drawing patterns on Clary's shoulder lightly, and, after a little while she begins humming a soft, sweet melody. It's not one I've heard before, but I'm not sure that means much – I've never known much about music. As I watch her, I'm not sure she's aware that she's humming at all. I can't help but see how she and music are a package deal, that it's a part of her just as much as her bright green eyes, fiery red hair, and light freckles. I think that if we could stay like this forever, then I would be happy forever.

After, what could be hours, Clary pulls me out of bed and towards the kitchen. She pulls a packet mix for pancakes out of the pantry and throws it at me, and continues getting bowls and other materials.

Clary puts on some music, and then we begin making breakfast together. I think to myself, as I'm mixing the batter, that this is one of the most mundane mornings I've had in so long, and it has been my favourite for as long as I can remember.

I turn, holding out the spoon for Clary to taste the batter, but accidentally hit her in the face with the spoon, causing the batter to hit Clary in the face.

She looks at me stunned for a moment, before wiping a finger across her forehead, and putting it in her mouth.

"Tastes good," she says, "I think you need to try some too." Before I can register what she's, she's wiped her fingers across her forehead again, and wiped it across my mouth and down my chin.

I state at her with mock shock, and lick around my lips, cleaning up all the batter my tongue can reach.

"I _know_ you didn't just do that," I say, and start taking big steps towards her. She gets this giddy smile, one that you would usually find on the face of a three year old, and backs up from me quickly. She eventually runs into the wall, and has nowhere else to go, and I take advantage and pick her up, throwing her over my shoulder and walking around with her.

I can feel her laughing, and she yells "Jace! Put me down!"

"First, you must feed me berries and chocolate, and then I will think about putting you down." I walk over to the bench where Clary had been cutting up berries. First she grabs some chocolate chips, and slowly puts them in my mouth. Her fingers trace my lips as she pulls away. I put her down in front of me, and she grabs some berries. Without breaking eye contact with me, she slowly lifts them up to me face, and as I open my mouth for her to put them in, she smashes them against my forehead.

I actually am shocked this time, and it gives Clary enough time to run around to the other side of the kitchen island, where the big slab of marble separates her and me.

I pick up a couple of berries and throw them at her, but she easily dodges them. She picks up a few more berries, but instead of throwing them, she just pops them in her mouth. Once she's finished eating them, and she can see I still want revenge she says, "I surrender! I promise I won't do anything else," while holding up her hands.

"I'll be keeping an eye on you Fray," I reply, and we go back to cooking the pancakes, but I make sure to glance her way every couple of minutes, and I see her doing the same for me.

Eventually we finish cooking the pancakes and were sitting at Clary's dining room table. After a minute or so I bring up the elephant in the room.

"So," I say, unsure how to approach the topic, "you're going back to L.A. today."

Clary quickly replies that she doesn't have to leave 'til way later that night, and that she doesn't want to talk about that right now.

"Thanks for last night," she says after a little while. I'm not really sure what part of last night she is talking about, but I don't want to make her talk about it if she doesn't want to.

"No problem," I reply.

"You, ah, really showed a lot of self-control last night, I really do appreciate it – I want you to know that." I realise now that she is talking about the fact that I didn't sleep with her, and don't really know how to reply. I can feel my cheeks blush. I put my head down and finish my breakfast and see Clary do the same.

After a couple of minutes of silence, we've both finished our food, I'm about to put my plate in the kitchen when Clary says, "I wish you didn't."

"Wish I didn't what," I say, before realising what she's talking about.

Clary looks at me shyly, and says, "You know… I wish you didn't… have all that self-control. You know what, it's stupid. Just, forget I said anything."

"Me too," I mean to say in my head but instead I stupidly say it out loud. We both just look at each other, trying to figure out what to do now that we've admitted to each other that we wished we'd slept with each other.

"But it's good that we didn't," I say, "With you leaving today, it would've just been messy. Easier to leave this way. As friends. Just friends."

"Yeah, totally. We are on the same page completely." Clary replies. We're looking at each other again. Clary slowly nodding her head. At the same time, we both stand, me to clean up the plates, and Clary to go shower. As we move in opposite directions, we bump into each other again, and I'm thrown back to last night, to a situation so similar to this. But this time, Clary just steps around me, and I turn to the table, swearing under my breath.

After quickly cleaning up everything from breakfast, I go back to the living room and sit on the couch waiting for Clary to finish her shower. As I'm sitting, I look around the room for probably the first time ever. I know that it's just a hotel room, but I can see little touches of Clary all over the place. A guitar here, some books over there. On the book shelf, a see a series of journal looking books lined up. I get up to investigate the books.

On closer inspection, each book has a date written down the spine. I take one of the books off the shelf, and look at the outside. Clary has written quotes, and doodled pictures all over the outside of the book. I'm looking at the pictures, and notice that Clary is actually a really good artist. I put the book back on the shelf, and pull down the one with the earliest date on it. I notice the name Jon written on the front, and the leather around the name is a little softer, and more worn, as if Clary has rubbed her thumb over the name lots of times. Judging by the thickness of the book, and the fact that I can see other pieces of paper sticking out from the book, I assume it's a scrapbook type of thing.

I have a mental debate about whether I should look in the book or not, and, just as my curiosity wins the argument, I hear Clary walking down the hall. I quickly put the book back on the shelf.

"We should go out and do something before I leave. It's a really nice day out, maybe we could go to Central Park…" Clary stops once she notices what I'm looking out.

She walks over to me and pulls down one of the books, and begins to explain, "They're my song books. I always have some sort of journal type thing that I can write my ideas down in, because you never know when inspiration's going to strike, right? I keep them all, because they have a lot of stuff in them that I haven't used yet, and might want to come back to someday. There's a bunch of finished songs in these books." She starts flipping through the books she's holding with a small smile on her face, and continues explaining. "When I look back through them, I can see that I'm getting better. The songs in the later books are so much better, and books seem to last for shorter periods of time each time, so I'm obviously getting faster at writing as well. And I can kind of see themes throughout each book. It's obvious where my head is at each period of time."

She puts the book she was holding back on the shelf, and then points to each book, listing off people, who, I assume she was writing about in each book. "mom, dad, Jon, Simon…"

I can see as she looks at the books, and know from the night before, that writing brings a certain calm to Clary. I think it must be one of the only ways she can clear her head. Maybe it's one of the only times she's allowed to say what she wants.

"Simon?" I question, curious if there's been more to their relationship than she's let on.

She looks over to me in shock, almost as if she'd forgotten I'd been there. "They're more songs _for_ him, you know to sing. We talk to each other about pretty much everything, so I know what he's going through. Simon and I write a lot together as well, so some of these are songs I want to write _with_ him. I don't write songs about Simon if that's what you're asking – that would just be weird."

"How many songs do you think you've written?" I ask, curious that Clary was starting to open up about her past.

"I started properly writing songs when I was… about sixteen The first song I ever wrote entirely by myself, like lyrics, music, multiple instruments, all of it, was probably when I was around… twelve. I can see the look on your face! You will never see those songs, and neither will anybody else!" she says, and goes slightly red. "I started with lyrics when I was like five or something. I'd say I've written around 200 completely finished songs. Obviously some are way better than others. I don't know how many unfinished songs I have though…"

"What about your parents, why do you have entire sections on them?" I ask, genuinely curious to know. I'd figured out that something had happened, because she barely ever talked about her family.

"I just, miss them… Anyway, do you want to listen to a song nobody else has ever heard?" she says, quickly moving past the topic of her parents. I'm not going to press her on a topic she doesn't want to talk about, and I do want to hear a song, so I eagerly agree.

I pick up the earliest book off the shelf, one she had pointed to and said Jon. I flip through the book and settle on a song called 'I Never Wanted To Go'. I notice it has stars written around the title, so I assume that meant it is a finished song. I don't read any of the lyrics before I show her the song, because I wanted to be surprised.

When Clary see's the song I had picked, she instantly becomes defensive about it, saying things about how she wrote it when she was sixteen, and that she didn't feel like this anymore. I can see that she is actually super nervous, and that she is lying a bit – she still does feel like this. She obviously really cares about what I think, and I am touched.

She picks up the guitar that was sitting in the living room. Before she starts she says, "I imagined this with other people singing, and a couple more guitars – I never really had the chance to build it to more than this. Just, don't judge too heavily okay."

While Clary is playing, I notice that she isn't looking at me. She looks at the book occasionally, but otherwise, made sure that she would look anywhere but at me. She has to stop once to turn the page of the book, but other than that I'm shocked at how good she is. I obviously already knew she could sing, and assumed she would be pretty handy with a guitar, but there's a chance she hasn't looked at this song in years, and she was playing it flawlessly. I also can't believe that she wrote this when she was sixteen. The music is very nice, but it's lyrics that are really getting me. Who made her feel like this? Who did she run from? Why did she feel this guilt? I'm trying to unpack everything she's revealed through this one song, when I realised that she's finished and kind of looking at the ground.

She looks up at me momentarily, but her eyes quickly flicker back to the ground. After another minute or so, Clary says "so…" and I realise that she wants my opinion. As I gather my thoughts she says, "it's okay, I understand." I realise that she thinks I hate the song, and am just keeping quiet so I don't hurt her feelings.

"That was…" I say, lost for words. "I want to say amazing, but it's not a strong enough word. That stupid shit I said to you, all those weeks ago – couldn't be further from the truth. The guitar and you seemed like one. And you're voice – like an angel came down from heaven and is sitting in front of me. And the song. Just… shit Clary. I don't know how to describe it. I just…" I was becoming frustrated, because I couldn't find the right words to explain.

"Clary. You're 101 things, and so many more. You are kind, caring, passionate, talented... so fucking talented. You are the most selfless person I have ever met. You work so hard, you're incredibly smart. You're smile lights up every room you are in. And Beautiful. God, you're beautiful. I don't deserve to know someone like you – don't deserve your affection. I don't think anyone is worthy of your affection – yet you give it to everyone you meet. You are so special. And I'm sorry that you ever had to get hurt. I want to shield you from the world, so it never happens again. But a world without Clary Fray in it is a dull, and a world not worth living in.

Clary blinks and tears spill over her cheeks, which have gone slightly red. I move forward and gently wipe the tears from her cheeks, and my hand comes to a rest on her cheek. I look into her eyes – really look. They're this amazing green that I've never seen on anyone else before. They have little flecks of brown in them. My eyes dart down to her lips, and I can't help myself when I lean forward some more and press my own lips against hers.

Despite everything that had happened in the morning, there was now a strange urgency. It seemed, that however close we got to each other, it wasn't close enough. Clary stood up, and started pulling me towards her bedroom. We're kissing hard and fast, leaving a trail of clothes behind us.

I pick Clary up and lay her down on her bed. She stops for a minute and looks up at me, holding me up above her.

"What's wrong, have I hurt you," I say, and can't help but hear the huskiness in my own voice.

"No, it's nothing like that, I just… haven't…" she says, looking off embarrassed.

"It's okay if you don't want to. I understand if you don't want me to be your first." I say, despite the shock that her comment has brought.

"No, it's not like that," she says, with a quick nervous smile. "I have, just not… with anyone I care about."

She looks me straight in the eye, and whispers, "I'm scared. Nobody's ever looked at me the way you do."

"It's the same for me, but I want to do it with someone I care about, if you still want to."

She nods her head once, before pulling me back down.

We're lying in bed again. I'm playing with Clary's curls while she softly traces patterns on my shoulder and chest. I can't help but think about how much I've learnt about Clary today, and how I would love to learn more. Out of nowhere, Clary begins talking.

"When I was a little girl, my life was great. My parents, my brother and I all got along so well. I think that's where my love of music started. All of us had such different tastes in music. Mom liked more, relaxed and chilled out music. My dad was into rock and roll – the classics. And my brother, Jon, was into alternative. I would listen to everything they did – and I loved it all."

As Clary talks about her family, she looks out the window. I don't say anything, and just let her continue at her own pace.

"But I also remember that my dad was away a lot. He was in the army, and got stationed overseas a lot. I was always so scared that he wouldn't come home. That every time I spoke to him it would be the last time, or every letter I received would be the last. But he always came home. When he was away, I'd miss him so much – so I would play his music to feel like he was there. It was like the music carried his presence or something. Anyway, it always made me calmer."

She stops tracing the patterns on my chest, and closes her eyes.

"But one day, when I was thirteen, we got this phone call. Dad wouldn't be coming home. He'd died in the field. I remember that moment so clearly. When my mum told me, I didn't feel like I was in my body anymore. It didn't hit me that he wasn't coming home for a few more weeks, when we were at his funeral. That's when I realised he was gone... That I didn't have my dad anymore"

She opens her eyes again and keeps tracing the patterns on my chest.

"Anyway, we coped. We were used to dad being away, now we just had to get used to the idea that he wouldn't be coming home this time. I remember small things changing though. My brother, who was always so kind and gentle was now getting into fights at school, and was constantly covered in bruises. And my mother, who used to light up every room she walk into, seemed small. And sad. Always so sad. She stopped painting. It was like she didn't have the motivation for it anymore."

Now she was talking about herself, it seemed like she couldn't stop. I think maybe she had bottled it up for so long, that she was relieved to finally talk about it.

"I noticed things change about myself as well. I had gotten a job – at Taki's. I had to help support my family. My mom wasn't selling her paintings anymore, and I didn't know when she would start again. Dad's savings were only going to last so long. I was busking as well, in my spare time. I was getting gigs – anything I could do to get extra money. I was thirteen and earning the most money in the house. I suddenly had to do everything on my own. I discovered I was a fighter – a survivor. About, three months after my father's death, we started the band."

She had this small smile on her face, now that she was talking about the band.

"Simon said that he wanted to make a band. He was… just a thirteen year old boy - my friend, but just a boy, so he didn't really consider asking me to join, even though he had heard me play before. After a little while of searching, he had only found Alec, so I asked if I could audition – and then he realised I was exactly what the band needed. Joining that band was exactly what I needed. It was the best thing that could have happened to me – anything to stop me from falling into a slum like my mom, and anything to stop me from becoming aggressive like my brother. If I just put everything I could into my music, then maybe I could stop too many more things from changing. By the next year, a big time label showed some interest in out band after they saw us playing at some gig. I was just about to turn fifteen, but we said yes anyway. When an opportunity like that comes, you've just gotta grab it. So, I was going to move from New York to LA, to a new life. My mom was going to meet me over there a week after I left, but Jon was going to stay in New York. I knew it would be fine – once he saw how good life was for mum and me in LA, he would want to come over as well. Then we would be a family again. And I would be able to support us, and maybe mom would start painting again."

Again, she stopped tracing the patterns, and closed her eyes. She was silent for so long this time, that I thought perhaps that was it – that's all she wanted to tell me. I'm about to say something when she starts talking again.

"About a day before mom was supposed to be making the move, she was in a car accident. I remember getting the call from my brother, telling me I should come home right away. Obviously, I did, and when I got home, mom was in hospital, in a coma. The doctors says it was unlikely that she would ever wake up again, and, even if she did – which was a big if – she would be disabled, and probably in pain… for the rest of her life. My brother and I decided it would be best to take her off life support. We couldn't afford to keep her in hospital, and we didn't think she would want to keep… to keep living even if… she did survive the coma."

She breathes heavily for a moment before continuing. My heart breaks with every word, and I want to beg her to stop talking. To force her to tell me it's a joke. But she keeps talking, and I remain silent.

"I stayed in New York for a week with my brother, who was now my legal guardian, for my mother's funeral. After the funeral, I freaked out. I told Jon that I was going to quit the band and stay in New York. That I couldn't handle being in LA by myself. He calmed me down, and told me that he would come to LA with me, and that we would help heal each other. So, I flew back to LA, because I had already been away too long, and Jon would come over shortly, once he had figured everything out. He never came. I've been pretty much on my own ever since then. The guys have become my family."

She turns to me, and looks at me for the first time since she started speaking.

"I haven't seen my brother since he dropped me off at the airport, and told me that I was his life now, and that he would be over shortly. I haven't seen either of my parent since my mother's funeral. I can't bring myself to go to the graveyard. I make sure I'm never in New York for too long. I've tried to go so many times while I've been here. But every time, something stops me."

After another long pause, she whispers, "would you come with me, maybe? I want to see them once before I'm on the road again. I think I'm ready."

I, of course agree, and we spend the rest of the afternoon in the graveyard with a picnic. While we are there, I see a shift in Clary, as if she's maybe, possibly, starting to move on.

* * *

Hope you all enjoyed that.

Song mention: I Never Wanted to Go by Willamette Stone

Please leave any questions, comments or suggestions in a review - every review helps. See you next week :).


	14. Chapter 14: Is This Goodbye?

**Chapter 14: Is This Goodbye?**

Hey guys, sorry this is a little bit late - I had a bunch of school work and time got away from me a little bit. Hope you enjoy the chapter!

* * *

 **Clary POV**

Jace is packing up the picnic, while I slowly start walking back to the car. It feels like a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I don't have to live with the shame of being too scared to visit my parents. I don't have to lie to Jace anymore. I fell the sun on my face, and turn to burning brightness of it, watch the beauty of it setting, and sigh a breath of relief.

Jace catches up to me, and together we watch the sun lower, and finally dip below the horizon. We turn and get into the car that I had borrowed for the day. When I get in, Jace begins driving us home. He has one hand on the steering wheel, and the other resting on my leg.

I pull my phone out of the glove box, looking at it for the first time in hours and see that I have a bunch of missed calls, texts and emails from Magnus. It turns out I was meant to get an earlier flight back to LA, as we had some urgent band meeting with the label, that couldn't be pushed back. I look at the time and see that the flight I'm meant to be on leaves in half an hour.

I call Magnus to see if I can just get a later flight, but he says that it is nonnegotiable, and that I'll just have to come straight to the airport, and that they can hire organise for someone to bring all my stuff back to LA.

"Jace, I'm so sorry, but would you be able to drive me to the airport. I have to get an earlier flight – and it leaves really soon. Like pretty much now."

He nods in agreement, and starts driving towards the airport. I reach down into my bag and pull out some gum, trying to distract myself from the situation at hand. I keep apologising to Jace, but every time he says that it's okay, and gives me this smile that makes shivers run down my spine.

When we're a couple of minutes from the airport, Jace says "Clary. I want to say thank you. Thank you for sharing your past with me, for taking me to meet your parents, for playing me that song this morning. I know it can't have been easy, and I feel so lucky that you chose me to share that with. I promise I won't tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me."

I grab the hand that is resting on my thigh, and squeeze it hard, before kissing it.

"If you ever need someone to talk to, you know, someone not in your immediate circle, I'm always available" he says, looking over at me quickly.

"Thank you." I say, "it would be really nice to have someone to talk to about it." After a minute or so I add, "I'm really going to miss you Jace." And as I see the airport, I realise how much I'm going to miss him. I haven't felt like this about anyone before – and now I was going to lose him.

"I'm going to miss you too Clary. So fucking much." He says, while squeezing my hand.

Jace pulls into a parking spot outside the airport, and I know I should jump out of the car and run to catch my flight, but instead I just look at Jace. I've never wanted to stay in New York more than now. Really, I just wanted to stay with Jace.

"You should come to LA" I say, before I even think about it. Once it's out, Jace gives me a funny look, and I am about to retract the statement, say it was just a joke. But he agrees. He says he has some free time coming up before he has to shoot his next movie, and could probably come over in about a week.

One more week with Jace. Two more weeks before tour. Two months before another brake.

"I'm going to be super busy. It's crunch time now – I won't really have time to spend with you. I'm sure it would be super boring for you – you don't have to come just because I told you all this stuff."

"I want to come," he says.

"I'm going to be super busy, we'll probably only see each other at night" I say, giving him one more chance to get out.

"I don't mind. I can wait," he says.

"Okay then. Well, you can stay with me in my house. It's way too big for just me. Anyway, I really have to get going now, my flight leaves in like 5 minutes. I'll call you when I land, yeah?"

"I'll be waiting," he says, and leans over quickly kisses me on the lips once, and then my forehead. "Go, or you'll be late."

As I'm getting out of the car a quickly say "I love you," and Jace replies, "I love you too," and then I run in the door and see Magnus waiting, he quickly gives guides me to security, flashes some card that lets up jump to the front of the queue. I say hello to some people, but tell them I'm running horribly late, and get yanked off by Magnus.

We have to run to make the flight, and we're the last people on board. I say hi to all the guys, get in my seat, plug in my earphones in and put my phone on shuffle. I lean back into my chair, just listening to the music, when my eyes snap open.

I told Jace I loved him.

Oh my God, he probably thinks I'm like, a weird stalker person now. I yank my headphones out of my ears, and start chewing really hard on my gum. I'm pulling at my hair, trying to figure out what to do. I can't call Jace – first off I'm on a plane, so I wouldn't get any signal, but it would probably also make the situation weirder. I start breathing heavier, when Simon notices that I'm freaking out. He pulls out his own headphones and leans over to me, asking me what's wrong.

I'm clearly making a far bigger scene than I thought, because soon, Alec and Kit come over as well, all asking me what's wrong. As I look up at the three guys, I can't form the words. I told Jace Herondale that I loved him.

After I've gone through another two sticks of gum, and had a full bottle of water I kind of whisper it. Only Simon is able to hear me, and he looks completely shocked, and quickly tells Alec and Kit what's going on.

They all start assuring me that it's nothing too bad.

"He probably knows that it was a mistake, that you were rushing. Trust me." Kit says. "Like that time I called Magnus dad."

"Yeah, guys say stupid things all the time, it was just a slip of the lounge, and you can explain to him when we land," Alec says.

"Trust me, with the way he was treating you, he'll know it was a mistake." Simon says.

Once he can see I've calmed down, Simon asks "why were you with him anyway? You didn't come straight from the studio?."

"We were out together, no big deal," I say, trying to play it cool.

Alec, however, who has always been over-protective of me asks, "wait, like out as friends, or…"

I just smile up at him, and when he doesn't look away I say, "I don't know. We never put a label on it."

This starts a whole new round of questions, especially from Simon, who is still under the impression that he was a douche. It ends with Simon telling me that he'll find out about my parents, and then I'll be in trouble.

"Look," I say, "he's coming to LA, so you can ask him these questions yourselves."

Obviously, this was a mistake, and a new round of protests start. They're saying things like, "you're moving too fast," "this isn't a good time to get into a relationship," "he's only going to hurt you."

"Stop, okay. Kit, you seem to have a new girl on your arm every week-,"

"Or guy," he interjects.

"Okay, or guy, so why can't I maybe have something with _one_ guy. Alec, aren't you the one always telling me I should get out there, experience love. And Simon, you of all people know how good this could be for me. There's no need for you to be so protective. I'm 20 okay, not 15. And besides, he already knows about my parents." I say the last part more quietly, knowing that their reaction won't be good, and I was right.

Thankfully, before any of them can get a word out in protest, Magnus says, "He's actually a good guy once you get to know him. He takes a bit of getting used to, but I trust him. And so does Clary, obviously. It's her decision, not yours. Anyway, it's been a long day, and we have a meeting later tonight, so you should all try and get some sleep before that happens." When the guys look like they are going to protest again he says, "sleep. Now." The guys all fall back into the sets, clearly not finished with the argument. I look over to Magnus and silently thank him, before he sits to get some sleep himself. I can hear the occasional grumble from the guys of "moving too fast," and "just wait till I get to talk to him," but other than that they seemed to have calmed down.

As I begin to doze off myself, I think about the conversation I had with Jace before I left. I replaying it over, and then I realise that Jace said it back. Jace told me he loved me too. Maybe it was just a mistake, but maybe not. I hoped not. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Maybe I did love Jace.

As I fall asleep, I can't wipe the smile off my face.

I wake up as the plane lands, and look around to see the rest of the guys are still asleep. When the plane gets into the gate, I get up to leave, but notice that Kit is still asleep. I walk over to him, and begin shaking him, but he still doesn't wake up. I knew he was a heavy sleeper, but it wasn't usually this bad. I pick up the water bottle that he has in his seat pocket and dip my finger in it, and then start flicking the water in his face. One of his eyes open, and then he realises what I'm doing and jumps out of his seat, and pretends that I didn't just have to baby him awake. Because it's taken so long to wake Kit up, the rest of the people on the plane and caught up to us, and want to take photos.

I take a photo with a few people, and already know that I look like shit. Once we get off the plane and into the airport, we are swarmed by paparazzi.

"Hey Clary, how was the movie?" one of them asks.

"Yeah it was good fun - excited for everyone to see it. I'm happy to be back with the guys though." I reply, trying to move through the airport as quickly as possible.

"How's Jace Herondale?" anther asks.

"Jace is doing well." I reply simply.

I hear someone ask Alec about the busy upcoming tour, and someone else ask Kit about all of the parting he's been doing. They both ignore the people asking the questions. One last person shouts "you guys have a good night." I shout back "you too!" and then get in the car. I hear someone out the window shout about following us, and I sigh as I lean back into my chair. What was so interesting about us going to our hotel?

Although we all had houses in LA, we always had to stay in a hotel once we got back into LA after a break, so that the label could do whatever they wanted to do with us. It was easier to track us all down the for the first little bit if we are all together.

I hear Magnus ranting to Alec about how sorry he is, and that the paps shouldn't have known we were going to be there, because we changed our flight so late. Magnus then starts talking about how someone must have tipped them off, and now he would have to start going through everyone who knew about our flight and figure out who the mole was. He sounded really angry. Alec reassures him, and tells him that someone on the flight probably posted something about it and the paps just caught wind of it. That is was nothing to stress about.

"Yeah, and it's not like we haven't been dealing with the paparazzi for the past four years." Magnus kind of shrugs off my comment, but won't stop looking at me every few minutes.

I soon realise that it's not the paparazzi he's angry about. He's nervous about something. Probably something to do with the band meeting that is _oh so_ important. What the hell could they have to tell us?

* * *

Okay, well, hope everyone enjoyed that. I'll make sure I upload on time next week! Please leave a review with any questions, comments or suggestions you have. Every single review makes me feel a little bit better about my writing, and they all really help, so I really do appreciate it when you leave them. Until next week!


	15. Chapter 15: There's No Way I'm Doing It!

**Chapter 15: There's No Way I'm Doing That!**

Hello everyone, and welcome to another chapter. Thank you to all the lovely reviews I received after the last chapter - they made me smile for a long time :) I hope everyone enjoys this chapter. It's a little bit different from the others so far, but hopefully in a good way...

* * *

 **Clary POV**

"You want to do _what_?" I say, trying to keep the anger out of my voice.

"A behind the scenes documentary of the band – you know, give the fans some insight to what you do before a concert, what you guys are like when your hanging around, maybe a bit on your life in New York." Says Hodge Starkweather, head of the label, looking very excited. All I can think about is everything getting out – of course Starkweather didn't know about my past – thank God! He would've used it as a marketing ploy in seconds.

"Ummm, thanks for the offer, but I think it's going to be a hard pass." I say, looking at the guys for support, but they have all bowed their heads.

"I'm a twenty year old girl – I want my privacy, and I don't need a bunch of strangers, no matter what they've given us, getting into my private life! I'm not public property. I'm a person. And anyway, I value my time before a show, when it's just me and you guys" I say, gesturing towards my band mates, who have failed to look up. "I don't want a bunch of cameras coming in and getting in the way of that!"

I let out a small huff as I fall back into the couch, praying that someone will take my side. Simon looks up, and when I think he's going to agree with me, he says "Look Clary, I think it would be a good opportunity. It's a good chance to give back to the fans – give them something they want to see – without them we wouldn't be where we are now."

I look at the other two guys, who are nodding along with what Simon is saying. I realise that, though they love me and obviously want what is best for me, they haven't been through what I have. They may have been with me at the time, but none of them knows what it feel like to have lost everything like that. And I just know that the moment it gets out, it'll be all anyone talks about. That and my love life. Nothing will be about the music, and everything was meant to be about the music when this all started. None of them have to lose what I do.

"Haven't I given them enough? I basically gave them all my teenage years! Sure I like performing, but everything else that comes with touring, the press, the photoshoots, the constant interviews, the total lack of sleep, being on the move for months at a time – isn't that enough! My life revolves around making our fans happy, but enough is enough!"

Magnus clearly doesn't want Starkweather or anyone else to hear any more of my opinions, so he asks them to leave, and tells them that he'll talk to them tomorrow morning.

"It's just another fucking marketing ploy!" I say. I rarely get angry, but this is one of those rare occasions. "Gotta milk a dollar out of every dime, right?" I ask the guys, trying to make them see my perspective.

"Look, Clary," Magnus says, trying to calm me down, "It'll feel just like a normal tour, I promise you the cameras won't get in the way. I also promise that nothing about your past will get out, when we film in New York, you only have to talk about how the band was formed, maybe show us your old school. That's it. I promise."

"Clary, think about it," Kit says, "wouldn't you want to be able to watch this movie in 20 years and remember the good old days?"

"Yeah, and we promise to stop if it becomes too personal. We'll protect you Clary." Alec says.

I can feel myself giving in. I don't want to disappoint the guys, and I can see that they really want to do it. And I know, at the end of the day, it's not really up to me. If all three of them, Magnus and the label want to do it, then it will happen. That doesn't mean that I don't feel hurt that they chose everything else over me. It probably hurt the most that Simon, who was with me through everything, was the first to argue against me.

For the first time in so long, I feel truly alone.

"Whatever," I say, defeated. I refusing to look any of them in the eye and they stand up and head to their hotel rooms. Simon tries to grab my hand, but I pull my hand back and place it in the lap, still refusing to look at him.

Everyone is standing at the door waiting for me to go up with them, but I can't seem to make myself move. What's the point? I feel like I have no motivation to do anything. As I look around, it feel like the room is spinning, and after a while I think I would fall if I did try to get up.

"Clary are you okay, you look kind of pale?" Simon asks.

I finally look over at them all, and with the coldest tone I can must, say "you should really get going. Need to get your beauty sleep if you want to look good on camera."

He looks slightly pained after I say it, but leaves anyway, clearly knowing that he should give me some space. I think I should feel guilty – it's not his fault, but again, I just can't seem to find the motivation. I know what I said was harsh, but I just can't find the motivation to make myself care.

I tell myself – one night. One night to feel like shit, to say whatever I want to say, feel however I want to feel. In the morning, when the sun brings a new day, I will push it all down, and apologise to everyone. Lock it away and only think about it when it comes bursting out again.

I'm sitting looking at the clock on the wall, just watching time go by.

 _Tick_

You're a sell-out.

 _Tock_

That band is nothing like when you started.

 _Tick_

It was meant to be about music.

 _Tock_

Now it's about money.

 _Tick_

Your parents would be disgusted.

 _Tock_

You should be disgusted.

Luke didn't seem too disgusted at what I had become. But Luke had always been good at hiding things. I secretly suspected that Luke didn't like the person I was becoming, but he had never said it in words. He was the closest thing I have to real family – I don't think I could bare it if he was disappointed in me. He had said he was concerned, but never disappointed.

What about your brother, I tell myself. Surely he's heard of you by now. Surely he knows how _famous_ you've become – there are photos of you everywhere. You're not an overly hard person to track down – those closest to you know about him, and they would let him come to a concert, come back stage. He's staying away because of what you have turned into. Staying away because you are disappointing everyone closest to you – including him.

It seems like, whatever I did these days, someone was getting hurt – most of all myself. But it was best that way. I can put up with hurting myself, so long as it keeps everyone else safe and happy.

I keep watching the clock on the wall tick, begging myself to fall asleep, but it just never comes.

I think back to the picnic I had with Jace, just being together. Being happy. I think of how I accidentally said I love you, not even 12 hours ago. But he said it back. Maybe I just need someone in my life who doesn't have any expectations of me. Someone who only knows of me as a sell-out. Someone who is much harder to disappoint. So many things feel wrong in my life at the moment, but Jace isn't one of them.

What feels like no time later (and it probably isn't that much later), I am being shaken awake by Magnus. He tells me to go clean up, grab a quick breakfast, and then we have to leave to the set to film a new music video.

I look out the window, and see the sun breaking the horizon.

It's a new day.

Magnus is walking into the breakfast hall, and I call out his name, jump up and run after him.

"Magnus, I'm really sorry about last night. I was acting childish and unprofessional. I'll make a formal apology to everyone present at the meeting yesterday. I'm sorry if it made anything harder for you – that wasn't my intention."

"I know biscuit. It's okay." He says, and strokes my hair once

"But it isn't okay." I say, needing him to understand how truly sorry I am.

"Okay then. I forgive you." He says with a small smile, before telling me to go get ready, and that he'll make me up a plate for breakfast.

While I'm in the shower, I'm going over what I'm going to say to the guys, and to Simon. I did feel bad about what I say to him last night. I'm going to outright say that I want to do the movie. Now that I had time to sleep on it, it was a good idea. Just the thought of saying it made me feel queasy though. I have never liked lying, and wasn't particularly good at it. I was becoming better at it though, but that didn't mean I felt good about how much I had been lying to the people closest to me.

When I get back down to the breakfast hall, everyone is already sitting around the breakfast table when I get there. I sit down between Magnus and Kit.

Everyone stops talking when I sit down. "I'm sorry for the way I behaved last night. I'm sorry if I say anything that made me sound ungrateful, or selfish. I wasn't thinking clearly last night, I was just tired. I'm going to make a formal apology to the label execs. And I'm sorry about what I say last night Simon. I'm fully on board for this movie." I suck in a big breath, "I want to do this movie," and let it go.

There is a chorus of, "it's okay", and then everything is silent again. Then, Kit bursts out laughing.

"Can't we just go back to fucking normal?" he asks.

I look at him for a moment, before sticking all my fingers in my glass of water, and flicking them in his face.

He dramatically wipes the water drops from his face and equally as dramatically says "I didn't mean go back to abusing me, Clarissa!"

"Sorry, Christopher! You asked for normal. I know no other way!" I say, while grabbing a hash brown off his plate. I bite into it with a big, innocent smile, and he chuckles at me, before punching me softly on the arm and saying, "good to have you back, kiddo."

"Kiddo!" I say, "I'm a year younger than you!"

"Practically a baby," he says back. "And Alec over there, practically a grandpa! Simon and I are the only normal aged once in this band."

"Oh God," says Magnus, "I don't even want to know what that make me!" he says dramatically

"Would you all stop being so dramatic and eat your breakfast, we have to leave soon," Alec says with a straight face, clearly not finding out banter amusing.

"You we're right Kit," Simon joins in, "he really is a grandpa."

Even Alec cracks a smile at this one.

"But the grandpa is right," Magnus says, "we gotta go!"

Everyone quickly eats as much as they can, and then we are rushed out of the room and into the car waiting for us on the street. As we are heading out, I can see the paparazzi camped out on the street, eager to get a shot of the four of us together after we had been apart for so long – or at least in public. Our publicity manager has asks us to arrive and leave rehearsals at different times to make it appear like there was beef between the band members – "to build some excitement you know!"

As we rush into the car, everything feels normal. Maybe everything will be normal. I'm sure it will be if I just keep telling myself that.

* * *

Well, that's all for this week. Please leave any suggestions, comments or questions you have about the chapter or story as a whole. If there is something you want to see, I'll try and add it. If you think there is something I can improve on, I'd love to hear about it. And anything nice you have to say really does make my day... I'll see everyone next week! Thanks for reading.


	16. Chapter 16: Hello Again

**Chapter 16: Hello Again**

Sorry this is a day late again! I was editing and writing last night, and totally forgot to actually post! I'm going to have to set a timer or something... Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter :)

* * *

 **Clary POV**

We're in the studio ready to film the music video for 'She's A Riot'. Because this is an upbeat song, we get to do a fun video clip. The director is standing in front of us and explaining what is happening in the video clip, and then Magnus gives us our schedule for the day. Pretty much, I break into a bunch of different music stores, and play the song on whatever instrument I'm about to steal, and then pick it up and run away with it. The guys are all cops that come in once I've stolen all the musical instruments, but I've left a big, spray painted crown on the ground and so they know it's me who stole it, and end up playing the rest of the song with me and all my stolen instruments.

Because I have to play every instrument in the song during the video clip, I'm going over the music for all of the instruments, so that it looks realistic. As I'm sitting getting my hair and makeup down, and going over the music, I notice that there are two cameras trained on me, and as I look over to the guys, see a bunch of cameras on them as well. Kit is even explaining what we are doing to one of them.

I realise that we have already started filming for the documentary – and I now know that I had literally no say in whether this went ahead or not. The meeting we had last night wasn't asking us if we wanted to do it, it was telling us that we were. Thankfully, I'm done with everything a couple of minutes later, and can head over to the director to start shooting some of the scenes I'm in alone, but the cameras follow me over. This was going to get some getting used to.

It's around 11 that night when we get back to the hotel, and as much as I want to go up to bed and sleep for as long as possible, we have to meet with our dietitian and trainer to plan out our meals and exercise for the next couple of months while we are on tour. Despite all of the training we have been doing in the lead up to the tour, we have to keep going throughout the tour to make sure we stay fit. It's important that we stay fit, so we can perform as well as possible. I really like all the fitness and health stuff, because it's something I can have complete control over. Pretty much everything else in my life is out of my hands – but not this.

We each to do a number of tests to see where our fitness is currently at – run a mile on the treadmill, do as many push ups, burpees, and sit ups as we can. We are each given a unique meal plan and workout plan, which we are told to strictly follow.

It's around 1 when we are finally sent off to bed.

 **Jace POV**

I get out of the car in front of Clary's house, and walk to the front door, and hit the doorbell. She lives in a modern house, but it's not nearly as big as I expected it would be. It's by no means small, but compared to the rest of the housed on the street, it's quaint. I do notice however, that it's on quite a large block of land, so maybe she purposely built it like this.

Clary opens the door, and she has the biggest smile on her face. She quickly hugs me, and we hold on for a little while longer than we should, but it just feels to right to be in each other's arms. When we step apart again, I notice the Clary's hair is back to its usual red.

"Your hair's red again." I say, not used to the brightness.

"Oh yeah," she says, while looking at one piece of it, "the label wanted me to go back to red _asap_. They don't really want me to change that much."

"I think you look beautiful." I say, and I mean it. Sure she looked good with the blonde hair, but _this_ was Clary.

"Thanks. Sorry, I'm being so rude! Come in," she says, while turning back into her house.

She tells me that she has the morning off, so we could go out and get some breakfast if I'm hungry, and then she has to go into work in the afternoon, but I'm free to stay here while she does that if I want.

I say that it all sounds good, and soon we're in Clary's car, driving off to some café that Clary says is great. I've learnt to trust Clary and her opinions on food, so I let her lead the way.

While we're driving we fill each other in on the past week that we've had.

Clary sounds like she's been super busy, getting ready for her tour. As I look over at her, I can already see big bags under her eyes, but she looks happy, so I don't question it.

We arrive at the café and get a seat next to the beach. As we sit and talk, I notice that almost everyone who walks past is staring at us, but Clary seems oblivious to it all. After the waitress takes out order, I ask "how do you do that?"

"Do what?" she asks, taking a sip of her coffee.

"You seem so… oblivious to everything going on around us." I say

"Well, you learn to live with after a while. And I can promise you, I'm not oblivious to it at all. For example, that girl over there," and she gestures with head to a girl around twenty years old, who is holding out her phone, "has been taking pictures of us for the past 5 minutes. And soon, knowing my luck, as soon as our food comes, she'll come over and ask to have a photo with us. Or that kid over there, the young girl. Probably around 15 years old. She's been ogling at you for ages now, and, if she _does_ come over, it'll be with her mother. She'll only ask to take a picture with you, but she'll ask me about the guys. If she's feeling ballsey she'll casually ask if we're dating, but become very excited when you say no, that we're just friends. Not to mention the pack of paparazzi that are behind you, probably some behind me, and I wouldn't be surprised if there were some over there. I may look like I'm not aware of what's going on around me, but I just chose to look like that. Trust me, when I'm alone I stare down the camera - it usually makes them back off."

Sure enough, about two minutes after our food comes, the twenty year old comes over and asks for a photo with us, but Clary is nice to her the whole time, and even offers to take a photo of just me and the girl.

Once we've finished eating and are about to leave, the younger girl who was sitting a couple of tables over comes up to us with her mother, who asks if her daughter can have a photo with Jace. The one mistake Clary made in her prediction was that she asks about the status of our relationship before Clary's band mates. Other than that, she was spot on.

As we're driving back to Clary's house, I look at her in awe. Is there anything she can't do? I ask her about her band mates, so that I have a little bit of intel on them all before I meet them. I had obviously read things about them, but you could never really trust any of that stuff.

"Well, Alec is the oldest. He's about 4 years older than me. He's pretty much become my big brother. He's very protective of me, and doesn't want to see me get hurt. He's very selfless, and always puts others before himself. And, don't tell anyone this okay, I don't even think he knows that I know, but I'm pretty sure he's dating Magnus. he hasn't told me anything about it, and I don't want to pressure him, but I'm pretty sure."

"And then there's Simon. He's just a little bit older than me. I've known Simon... forever. We were in the same pre-school, that's where we met. We did a lot of the same stuff at school, hung out all the time, and we have a lot of stuff in common. He's my best friend. But you know Simon a bit. He'll be hard on you, because he only knows you from the movie, when you were still being a douche, so…"

I can't take back the way I acted back then, and I already regret it, but I'm sure I'll regret it so much more once I have to talk to Simon again.

"And finally, the wonderful Christopher Rook. Kit is the person I go to if I want to have a good time. We have this weird relationship that nobody else understands, but we understand each other in a weird way. We had a pretty similar upbringing – his mum died when he was young, and his dad's not really in the picture anymore. He paid more attention to work than he did to Kit. I don't know, maybe we're both just messed up in the same way… Anyway, he has this amazing fashion sense, and isn't afraid of being himself. I think you two will get along very well..."

It's clear from the way that she talks about them that she really cares about the guys, and I know that if Clary and I have any sort of a chance, then I'm going to have to get the guys to like me first.

As we pull into her garage, she tells me that she is super sorry, but she has to go. She gives me the keys to her car and says that I can take it out if I want to, and that I'm free to do anything in the house. Then she rushes out and gets in the big black car that was waiting on the curb for her.

I wonder around her house for a little bit, and see that it is actually deceptively big. She has an amazing kitchen and living room, a games room, a studio, a gym and a home theatre inside. Outside she has a lap pool, spa and tennis court, and heaps of grass. I couldn't see how I was going to get bored while staying here.

I sit down and turn on the TV, and start flicking through some channels. I stop on E!, where someone is talking about a picture of me and Clary.

"The young pair were spotted out this morning at Santa Monica, where they shared breakfast. Clary and Jace met a couple of months ago while filming a movie, and it seems that more than just a movie were made. I can already say that these two will be one of the best couples of the year. They had a similar breakfast date two weeks ago in New York, after they were seen leaving the same hotel early in the morning."

The press were already speculating that we had been dating, possibly for weeks now, just because we had breakfast together twice! Admittedly, we have done some stuff, and we did _accidentally_ say I love you to each other, but neither of us had brought any of that up this morning. And Clary had said it herself – just friends. So why did I feel so uncomfortable about this?

"But can Clary really be trusted to date _just_ Jace Herondale? In the past few months we've seen Clary out with a few guys. It seems that Clary is hard to please. And will Clary be able to cope with Jace's family issues? The young actor hasn't been seen with anyone in his family for months. Is there trouble in the Herondale clan? Stay tuned to find out."

I turn off the TV, rolling my eyes at the stupid rumours, and begin wandering around Clary's house, trying to find something else to do. As I walk around, I see a bunch of music awards just thrown around the house. There are also all sorts of photos of her with amazing people on the walls, but there is a notable absence of her life before she was famous. After walking around pretty much the whole house, I don't find one photo of Clary with her parents or brother.

I decide to just grab a book and wait for Clary to come home, and then we can watch a movie or something tonight.

When Clary finally does come home, it is with all the guys.

"I'm sorry, they wouldn't take no for an answer." She says, as she plonks down on the couch next to me.

No one says anything, and then Clary gets up and says that she's going to make us all dinner.

I've only met Simon before, and he clearly wasn't that big of a fan of mine, but I was determined to make them all like me. Clearly, they were important to Clary, and so they should be important to me.

They are all glaring daggers at me, so I stand up make my way around the guys, shaking each other their hand while I introduce myself to them, or say hello again in the case of Simon.

"So Jace, what brings you to LA?" Kit asks. Clary had always described him as the fun one, but right now I didn't see a hint of that.

"Well Clary and I became good friends while filming, and I thought this would be a good opportunity to see each other one last time before she goes on tour." I say, making sure to talk to all three of them.

"Good friends you say? Because last I saw, you two hated each other." Simon says, glaring at me.

"I'll admit, Clary and I did get off on the wrong foot, and that was completely my fault. But after a few weeks of being together, I realised what a great person Clary was, and how _stupid_ I was, and begged for forgiveness, and she was kind enough to give it to me."

"Do you promise you won't heart her? I know she's told you about her family, which I personally thought was a bad move, but it means you know what's at stake." Alec says, clearly very protective of Clary.

"Yes I know what has happened to her. It is definitely not in my intentions to hurt her, I just want what's best for her. However, I do know that she is probably able to hurt me a lot more than I can hurt her."

Alec smiles at my answer. "Look, Izzy says that you're a pretty good guy, and if she says that, then you're okay in my books."

I nod my appreciation at him. At least one of them would tolerate him. I'll have to thank Izzy later.

"One more question Jace. Do you like dogs or cats?" Kit asks, with a challenging smile.

"I love dogs. We had one growing, but he died when I was pretty young. I also love cats, we had one of them when I was growing up as well, Church. He was _way_ smart than me. If I had to get one now, probably a cat, just because they are much easier to take care of."

A smile appeared on Kits face, "good answer Jace, good answer..."

Despite the fact that Simon hadn't really warmed up to me, I felt like this was going well.

Clary comes out of the kitchen with a big chicken salad, and an even bigger smile on her face. I realise that she could hear everything in the kitchen, and loved that we were getting along.

* * *

Song mention: She's a Riot by Jungle Giants

Hope everyone liked that chapter. If you did, or you have any questions, comments or suggestions, I would love to hear about it, so please leave a review. I'll make sure to post on time next week!


	17. Chapter 17: Life Together

**Chapter 17: Life Together**

I'm on time this week! Hope you all enjoy this chapter - I though it was a bit cute.

* * *

 **Jace POV**

It seemed that the only time I got to spend more than 1 hour with Clary was the morning I first arrived. Since that, Clary had gone to bed later and gotten up earlier than me every day. When I would go looking for her, she would always be in the gym or the studio. I was a little bit annoyed that I came all the way here and wasn't actually getting to spend any time with her, but I should have known what I was getting into. Clary told me that she was going to be busy – I never could have guessed she meant this busy – but getting to spend any time with her was worth it.

I also wasn't able to come into work with her, because of some camera crew that seemed to be there every day. Clary didn't want and footage of me and her together, because it would just spark so many rumours, and we hadn't defined anything.

And that was one of the things I was most confused about. Clary and I hadn't done much in the past week, because she was always so busy, but we had fooled around a couple times. And when we had dinner each night, we had these amazing conversations. But we had never talked about what we were. It was something I wanted to get to the bottom of before I left.

Pretty much, I just end up sitting around a lot all day. I read through a couple of scripts I had been given, read heaps of books, but mostly just sat around, waiting for Clary to come home so we could watch a movie, have dinner and get to know each other better.

I decide that today, I'm going to make Clary a really good dinner, so that it can be ready for when she gets home.

I go into her kitchen and see a bunch of cookbooks, so I pull one off the shelf, and start flicking through until I decide on a lamb rack with roasted vegetables. I note down the ingredients that I'll need and then head out to the shop to get everything.

I spend the rest of the afternoon making the food, setting the table all nice, and picking the perfect mood music. I decide that I should get dressed up as well, so I go put on a navy blue dress shirt, khakis, and boots. I go pick some flowers from the garden to put on the table. As I'm looking at everything, making sure it's perfect, I hear Clary coming through the front door, and I run into the kitchen to begin plating up the food.

I come out of the kitchen holding the two plates, and set them down on the table, and then look up at Clary. She's looking down at the table in awe, and then looks up at me.

"What's all this for?" she asks quietly

"I just thought we should do something nice tonight. Dig in, it's getting cold." I say, while pulling out the chair for her to sit in.

We eat in silence for a couple of minutes, save the occasional groan from Clary about how good the food is.

Once we've eaten a decent portion of our food, Clary looks up at me.

"What do you want with the rest of your life, Herondale? Hey. What are your hopes and dreams?" she asks, with a small smile on her face, but I can tell she's being serious.

I think for a minute before replying, "Well, I guess I would like to get married, settle down and have kids. I want to keep doing what I love. I hope life could get simpler. I guess I just want to be happy. What about you?"

"Everything you just says sounds pretty damn good," she says, fidgeting with her hands, "I guess I just want to be able to do everything I love. I guess I just want to be me – not have anyone try to change me. I want be able to be have fun, and go out, but not be labelled as some party crazed slut. I want to be able to be open and vulnerable and not feel like I'm going to be judged for it. But I think, most of all, I want a family. I group of people that love me and I love."

"Isn't that what you've already got? Haven't you already made that? Sure - with the guys. I see the way you act with them – it's the exact same as any family. But all your fans as well. The things you've done for them, the ways you've influenced them. Everything you do for them – that's a kind of love, and they return it in every way possible." I say forcing her to look up at me. "I could be your family. We could make each other happy. This isn't a proposal - but maybe a promise - if that's something you want? Maybe I could introduce you to my parents… I've never introduced anyone to my parents."

She seems unable to form a response, so she just nods her head quickly. We continue talking about our future plans, and our hopes and ambitions. Almost everything we say lines up. It's almost like we were made for each other.

"I have… someone that you could meet," she says, looking off fondly. "His name's Luke. He's pretty much my uncle. He was my mum's best friend, and was over all the time when I was younger. He seemed to really help my mum when my dad was away. He eventually told me that towards the end they were shagging behind his back but best not to dwell on that now. When I first moved to L.A. – the second time… I guess - I lived with Simon and his mum for a week, and then I was meant to move into my own place. It was just around the corner from them, but it meant that I wasn't an intrusion on their life. Anyway, something went wrong with my place, and I wouldn't be able to move in for, like a month, while they fixed it. I went and moved in with Luke. I was meant to be only while they fixed my place, but I ended up staying for months. And then we went on our first tour, we were the opening act for this awesome band. Anyway, when we got back, I went right back to Luke. And then, somehow, the address of my house got leaked - the one I had never lived in. We had picked up some momentum after the tour, and we had just released our own album, and all these people swarmed outside my house. But I wasn't there. I was at home with Luke. Anyway, a couple of months later, after I had turned 16, I finally got out of his hair. But after that I went back at least once a week. We never talked about my parents, or Jon or anything – neither of us liked doing it, but while we were together it was a reminder that not everything was gone. I didn't really let myself fully love him though. For so long I was afraid that anything I truly loved would leave me. I've moved past that a bit now, but it takes me a long time to love. Too long, for a lot people."

The thing I had learnt about Clary, is that she barely ever talks about herself, but when she does open up, it's like someone has opened up the gates to the dam and everything gets flooded. All I could do was sit back and appreciate the life that had built this amazing girl in front of me. Her life may have been tough, tougher than most, but she always found the silver lining.

"The guys were, are, like my family. Simon is like my annoying younger brother, who I can't help but love and adore. Alec is like the overprotective big brother, who does everything in his power to stop anything from hurting me. And dear old Kit is like my vodka Aunt, whom I get into all sorts of trouble with. Magnus is like my mother who seems to sort out all of our shit, and still be waiting with freshly baked cookies at the end of the day. Without them, and without the music, I'm not sure where I would be today. It's kept me going for so long, I'm not sure what my life would look like without it. I haven't stopped for five years. I love the music, god, I _live_ for the music, but I hate everything that comes with it. There is so much pressure. Pressure from the fans, the label, the guys. From myself. Everything has to be bigger and better than what came before. And then there is all the press and the publicity. Being followed by the paps, having almost all my decisions made for me. Every day I feel like I'm growing more distant from the guys. Despite being surrounded by people all the time, I feel so alone. And I'm not good at being alone."

"Why do you still do it then?" I ask. Clearly, everything was starting to build up, and I could easily see it falling all down, and I wasn't sure where that left Clary. Standing, staring at the destruction of her life, having to finally face everything it was built on - the ugly foundations you don't have to look at while the house is still standing.

"There's a lot of reasons. I live for that feeling on stage. And I love writing and making music." She pauses for a moment, before continuing. "I feel like I owe it to the fans... And I feel guilty."

"Guilty about what," I ask. She has given her entire adult life to the band - more than that.

"I wasn't with my mom when the car crash happened. Maybe if I wasn't in L.A, she wouldn't have been in the car at all. Maybe if I was in New York, then I could have done something. Maybe I could have helped her."

"You can't spend your life thinking about maybes, Clary. Maybe I missed my first audition, and never became famous. Maybe you never signed on for the bloody movie and we never met each other. You can't change the past Clary, there's no point dwelling on what could have been."

"It would be an insult to her if I stopped! And dad, he started my love of music. He bought me by first guitar. Signed me up for the drums. If I stop now, it's like spitting on their memory."

"Clary, I'm sure all they wanted was for you to be happy. And if being in this band isn't making you happy, then they would want you to stop. They would understand. They wouldn't think you're tarnishing their memory in any way. Clary, if you really want to have more control, you could go solo. You would know what you want from the get go, you could set conditions. Less press, more performing. The fans will support you if they are actually your fans. They would see how much happier and healthier you are, and understand and respect why you made the move. So would the guys."

I can see her thinking it over for a minute, and all the information is clearly stressing her out. I'm about to apologise, or say, or do something to calm her, when suddenly, she pounces on to me. She has her legs wrapped around my torso, and is sucking on my neck. I lean into the feeling for a moment, before I think about the conversation that we we're just having, and realise that this is not time for this sort of behaviour.

"Clary stop, stop" I say, trying to pull her off me.

"What?" she whispers into my ear, and then continues attacking my neck.  
"If we don't stop now, I don't think I'll be able to stop myself" I say, giving her a chance to stop and continue talking.

"Then don't" she whispers, and I finally give in, picking he up and walking her out of the dining room.

* * *

Thanks for reading - hope you enjoyed this chapter because some bad things are coming next week :(( Please review with any questions, comments or suggestions - everything helps, and I'm really trying to improve my writing.


	18. Chapter 18: So This is How it Ends?

**Chapter 18: So This is How it Ends?**

I'm back again! I would just like to say a massive thank you to everyone who has read the story so far, who has come back each week, and to anyone who has left a review. Anyway, please enjoy the chapter :)

* * *

 **Clary POV**

The day before we leave for tour, I asks Magnus if I am allowed to leave rehearsals early. He agrees, saying that we're ready to go, and we'll continue to do sound checks on the road anyway.

I walk in the front door, expecting Jace to be home. "Hello?" I call out, but am met with only silence.

I walk around the house a little more, before deciding that he's not home. I hadn't told him that I would be coming home early, because I wanted it to be a surprise, so it was fair enough that he wasn't home. I decide that I'll make us a nice dinner, so it will be ready when he gets home, and we can have a nice last night together.

I spend around an hour making the dinner, and then I set the table nicely and get a little dressed up. I hear a noise at the front door so I quickly grab the plates out of the oven, set them on the table and sit down, waiting for him to come to the table. he doesn't come up, so I assume that it was just someone driving past or something.

Around two hours later, Jace stumbles through the front door, and it's clear that he's well past tipsy. I know this means he's had a lot to drink, and I can smell the alcohol coming off him.

I'm still sitting at the table, where our dinner is still on the table, now stone cold as if had been out of the oven for a number of hours. Without saying anything, Jace sits down across from me, and takes a big bite out of the meal I made. He chews it for a little bit, before spitting it back on the plate, finally realising it's cold.

"Where have you been?" I ask, trying hard to keep any annoyance out of my tone.

He instantly becomes very defensive, saying that it doesn't really matter, and that he's shocked to see me home to early anyway. He tells me that it's so unreasonable and out of character for me to be home at this hour, that he doesn't need to explain himself to me.

"I was just trying to do something nice for you on our last night. I just wanted one more nice night before I go on tour, and get super busy, and don't have time to see you anymore. I understand that you probably have a new movie to shot anyway, so I knew it would be the last time we see each other for a while. Is that really that hard to understand?"

"Well I've felt alone the whole week anyway. I wake up and you're already in the gym! I have to sit around all day, finding stupid little ways to try and amuse myself, and then you come home late. That's the only time we actually get to hang out, but we barely ever actually get to be together, because guess what! You're going to the goddamn gym again!"

"I told you before you came here that I would be busy! And I never said you had to stay inside the house all day! I assumed you had friends to see, maybe people to meet up with? But you didn't seem to have a problem staying here today, did you! What, my booze aren't good enough for you? Or what, did you need a different kind of hit? One you couldn't find in this house?" As I'm saying this, I realise that he wouldn't be saying any of this stuff if he were sober. Jace becomes a different person when he drinks, or does anything else, so I just decide to leave it and talk to him in the morning.

I begin clearing the plates, and I hear Jace follow me into the kitchen.

"Why have you gotten so quiet, huh Fray. Got nothing left to say. Realised I'm right? I would like my apology now, thank you!" He yells after me.

When I remain silent, he continues, now swaying a little bit, and putting a lot of faith into the kitchen counter to keep him upright. "I've been getting more and more fed up throughout this week. I've barely gotten to spend more than two hours a day with you! I never realised how important your image was to you. Constantly working out! And I never realised how hard you had to practice to actually be good on stage. I thought you were naturally talented, but apparently it doesn't come that easy.

I try to walk past him, but he sticks his arm out blocking my path. He comes really close to me, and as he speaks, I can smell the alcohol coming off his breath. It takes everything I have not to pull away. But I know that would only show him weakness. "You probably only invited me here because you're so lonely. Nobody else was stupid enough to come with you, so you had to work hard to become friends with me. This whole nice girl thing you have going on is probably just an act. I should of known, nobody is that good. That's probably why your brother didn't come to L.A. Knew that you were fake, and a mess. Wanted to get himself out before it even started. Smart guy. I just wish he warned me first."

I can't believe he's throwing everything I told him right back in my face. I can see that, as soon as he's finished saying it, he knows he's crossed a line, and that he just wanted to make me upset because he was annoyed and drunk, but there was really no reason to go that far. I can see that he's sorry, but I really don't want to talk to him right now.

I push his arm down, which causes him to fall over, but I keep walking and go into my bedroom. I can hear him following me, yelling my name. I turn and see his hands running against the wall and can tell he's struggling to move this fast, and part of me wants to stop, go back to him and accept his apology. To tell him it's alright, and just to sleep it off. But I keep going to my room, because I know at the end of the day that isn't the right thing to do. I need to stop letting people walk over me. Maybe this isn't the best time to start, and I feel guilty about it, but he needs to know that this isn't okay.

I feel his hand grab mine, but I pull my hand out of his and shut my bedroom door and lock it before he can follow me in. The moment the door is shut, I lean against it, and slide down. I know I'm being dramatic, that he didn't mean what he said, but part of me knows he must. A drunk mans words are a sober man's thoughts and all that...

I finally let the tears fall, but make sure I don't make any sound. I knew it was a mistake to let anyone in. I knew I was just going to get hurt, but for once I ignored the voice screaming in my head, telling me to build the walls thicker and higher. Not to let anyone in, because they always leave, and I end up getting hurt. But I ignored it and now look where I am.

And I think the thing that really gets to me, is all the promises he made. He made me feel like this could be forever. He made me forget that we would be seperated at the end of the week, that there was so much standing between any possible relationship - but now it's all caught up to me.

After a couple of minutes, I pull myself together, get changed and open up the door. Jace was leaning on the other side and falls into the room.

Despite everything that has happened tonight, I have to fight to keep the laughter down, and step over Jace and head towards the gym.

Jace lets out a bitter laugh when he realises where I'm going, and makes some stupid comment about how well our relationship would be going if I was half as committed to him as a was about going to the gym.

Done with all of his talk about the gym, I whip around to finally give him a piece of my mind. It's time to start building up my walls again. "We are not currently, nor have we ever been in a relationship. You do not get to tell me what to do, or where I can spend my time. You have never once asked about why I go to the gym so much, never shown an interest. You've never asked if you could come with me, or if there was something else we could do together. I told you that I had tour prep I had to do, and this is a major part of it. But that's not even half the reason I work so hard in the gym. But you wouldn't know, because you don't care enough to ask. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go." I manage to say the whole thing without raising my voice once. I pretty much say the whole thing in monotone, with a dead lock on Jace's eyes. It was something I had learnt over the years. If you wanted to show someone how angry you are, you have to take all emotion out of it, no matter what you actually felt.

"I'd say the gym does for me what drugs and alcohol do for you, and with you in your current state… I don't think you should say anything."

"This is the first drink I've had without you all week! And I haven't done drugs since we started hanging out… I changed for you!" Jace says, slowly growing more angry.

I don't want him to get anymore angry, so I chose my next words carefully. "I didn't ask you change for me. And I'm glad you changed your… consumption habits, but you should do for you and your health, not for me or anyone else. I'm glad you came, and I had a good week with you, but if I had known it was going to end like this…"

"So this is how it ends then? I do everything I can for you - I change plans, I change _myself,_ and you're just going to leave. What we have a couple of dinners, have sex a few times, and now you're just going to throw me away. No wonder all the press says you go through guys like a broke prostitute! It's because it's true. It was nice knowing you Clary..."

I want to scream at him that he's the only person I've done this with. That he is the only one I've ever wanted to do this with, but I don't want to give him the satisfaction. Instead, I just nod at what he said, and try not to look too hurt.

I go into the gym and shut the door. I play my music, but don't actually start doing anything. I stare at the door, willing it to open. For Jace to walk in, ready to fight for me, to apologise, to ask me questions, to just stay with me for a while. But the door remains shut, and my walls build higher.

* * *

Thank you for reading. Sorry if the ending wasn't quite what you wanted - it made me sad writing it. But trust me, I have plans for the future! Come back next week for a chapter with a bit of a happier ending! Please leave a review with any questions, comments or suggestions! See you next week :)


	19. Chapter 19: On the Road Again

**Chapter 19: On the Road Again**

Hey guys, I'm back! I got so many reviews after the last chapter, which made me smile a lot. A massive thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter - or has reviewed at all. Feel free to review with any questions, comments or suggestions you have - literally every single review helps :)

* * *

 **Clary POV**

I wake up, and look to my left, expecting to see Jace there. But he isn't. I look at my phone. 4.00. I have to be out of the house in 45 minutes, and in the car that will be waiting for me. I shower, and make sure I have everything that I will need, before going putting all my stuff next to the front door. I go into the spare bedroom, and the living room, trying to find Jace but he isn't anywhere. He is either hiding somewhere in the house, or has already left. Just in case he is in the house, I write 'Goodbye Jace. Thank you for coming - I had a great week' on the whiteboard on the fridge, before going out the car on the curb.

As we pull away from my house, and head towards Kit's house, and then the airport, I can't help but think I'm driving away from the one good chance I had at love, and how I sabotaged it myself.

Once we land in London, and get out of the airport, we are surrounded by a bunch of fans and paparazzi. We do our best to sign as many posters and take as many pictures with fans as possible, but it takes almost 20 minutes for us to get to the car, so Magnus tells us we have to stop.

We head to the hotel where we will be spending the next couple of days, and get to check out the tour bus we'll have for the European leg of our tour. We know we will be spending a while on board the bus, so we have to make sure it's up to scratch. We also have to reserve which bed will be ours, and because I get on the bus first, I get to choose first. I choose the bottom bunk furthest from the toilet. Simon takes the bunk on top of me, and I think that I may have a better chance of sleeping on this tour, away from Kit and Alec's snoring.

We also meet the band that will be the opening act for the European leg of the tour. We meet everyone in the band; Eric, Kirk, Aline, Helen and Will. I notice that Will is quite good looking. He's similar looking to Jace, but there are a few differences. He has black hair and blue eyes. But other things were similar; the high cheekbones, tall, strong build, the full lips…

Later that afternoon, while we are talking to everyone, getting to know them, I pull Aline and Helen to the side to ask what Will's deal is. They look at me, not understanding, so I have to clarify, "is he dating anyone?"

"Not that it's any of our business," Helen says, "but we thought you were dating Jace Herondale."

I quickly reply, "No not at all, just friends. I just need a bit of fun while I'm on tour, you know, a way to let loose. I understand if you don't want me to… with Will." I realise the way I've said it must make me sound like a complete slut. "As in, just someone to have fun with how isn't in my band - someone to help me keep sane."

"I'll talk to him," Aline says, "but I'm pretty sure he'd be down. He hasn't stopped talking about you for the past week. It's quite cute actually, he never gets like this."

I look over at Alec, who is looking at me with raised eyebrows. He had clearly been listening to the conversation. I excuse myself, and pull Alec into a different room.

"What?" I ask, folding my arms, and automatically talking a defensive stance.

"Is this really the right thing to do? It's not like you to try and make other people jealous. And there is clearly something going on with you and Jace. You weren't acting normal on the plane, and I was going to let it slide, but now this?"

"I'm not trying to make Jace jealous." I say, "I just want to have some fun. You're always telling me to go out and have fun. Now I'm trying. And anyway, I never see you pulling Kit aside each time he is 'hanging out' with a new girl."

"That's different, he's twenty-two, and a guy…" I can see he regrets saying it as soon as he dose, but I chose to lecture him anyway.

"Being twenty and a girl should make no difference. Just because I'm the youngest, and the only girl in this band doesn't mean you have to baby me."

"I'm just trying to look out for you Clary." He says, with pleading eyes, and I unfold my arms, and give up the tough act.

"I know you are, Alec. But sometimes, it's too much. I know you care about me, and only want what's best for me, but you have to give me some space to make my own decisions. Anyway, I doubt anything will happen, and if it does, it won't be in public, and it won't just be some fling, so I'll be fine."

"I don't want you to get hurt. I'm worried about you. You seemed pretty happy with Jace, and now you seem to moving on pretty quickly. It's not like you Clary. And I feel like there's more to this than you're letting on," He says, shutting the door as more people begin to walk past.

"Jace and I wouldn't have worked in a relationship. And anyway, it's for the best that I move on quickly. Shows him that he didn't hurt me. And it shows him that it's okay to move on as well."

I can see he's about to ask why Jace would have thought he hurt me, so I quickly try to lighten up the conversation. "And let's face it, Will's quite attractive, so why wouldn't I just _see_ if he's available?"

"No denying that," Alec says, but it weirds me out talking about boys with Alec - if there was anyone I was going to talk to boys about it would be Magnus… or maybe Izzy.

"Anyway, thank you for showing your concern, but frankly I've been talking about my love life with you for too long, and I would like it to stop now. We all good, Lightwood?" he laughs and nods and I quickly get out of the room.

Magnus tells us that we have to go with everyone to check out the venue for the concert tonight, and do sound check and everything.

Around 5 hours before the show starts, we do our sound check, where we do around five songs, but only songs that we aren't performing that night. People that have VIP tickets get to listen to the sound check, and then ask some questions, so we want to make sure they get some variety in the night.

As the fans are asking their questions, I think about how much I like them more than reporters' questions. The fans questions are almost never intrusive, and commonly about the music, or each person's personal interests, but only about small things, like favourite food, or place to visit. They never try to get into our personal lives.

Once we've finished the sound check, we do a meet and greet with a bunch of fans. Strictly speaking, we're meant to take a quick picture with them, say hello and then onto the next person, but we always end up going overtime. It's always great getting to know fans in this environment, because they don't have to compete to get attention, and they always manage to calm themselves down pretty quickly.

Around three hours before the show starts, the gates are opened and everyone else is allowed to come in. The guys and I all stand up in the lighting box as we watch the fans rush in, trying to get the best position in the mosh pit. I've always wanted to go out, and say thank you to the fans for coming early and that I hope they have a good night, but I've never been allowed. Apparently, actually getting to talk to us was reserved for the VIPs, but I always take note of a few people that I want to single out during the concert and talk to. The first person that I notice has an amazing light-up sign. I can't read what it says from here, but I'm sure it's great. I also notice some people in amazing costumes, who I make note of to complement during the show. We turn around to leave, and I nearly bump into the camera man that was standing behind us. Sometimes, I forget that the cameras are there, but usually only when Kenny was following us. He seemed to be the nicest. I say hello to him before going back to the tunnels behind the stage.

Around one and a half hours before the concert starts, Kit and I go into this special room that we request at every venue so that we can do yoga before the show. It allows us to get our heads in the right place before the show, and calms us down a bit – I always perform better when I'm calmer. We've offered for Simon and Alec to come with us so many times before, but they always just laugh, and walk off. The camera crew tries to follow us into the room, but we tell them it's strictly off limits in there. Maybe one day they will let them in – but not today. Not when it's our opening night.

Around forty minutes before the show everyone has to get changed into our concert clothes. For this tour, I had decide that I was going to wear a cute, summery dress each show. Tonight's was a long sleeved, red wrap dress that had small white polka dots all over, that went to about mid thy. I wore a pair of old beat up white vans with it. I had my makeup done pretty quickly – just basic stage makeup, and then I threw my hair up in a ponytail and I was ready to go on stage.

I go out to this little balcony that we have access to, where we can see the stage, and some of the crowd, but nobody can see us. I'm watching Will's band perform, and I'm glad that we chose them. Choosing the opening act is one thing about the tour that we do have some control over, so we always try to pick someone decent, because we know this could be the start of their career. That's how we became big, anyway.

I was also happy that I had found somewhere that the cameras didn't seem to follow me, so I stay out on the stage for the rest of the set, and nobody comes and disturbs me.

They finished their set around fifteen minutes before we have to go on stage, so I go down and congratulate them on a great performance. They're all super pumped when they come off, and I remember the rush that comes with performing and crave it. I know it'll be coming soon, but I just want to run onto the stage now.

I can hear everybody in the crowd singing the songs that we had chosen to play before we come out on stage, and I could tell it was going to be a great night. When I am on stage, I'll be able to put everything behind me. Everything with Jace, the camera's, all the upcoming press. All of it.

I can feel the familiar feeling of my heart speeding up, and know that I am nervous, but I am happy about it. This right now, is that feeling that makes me feel alive.

When there's about five minutes before we go on stage, all the guys come up to me and we do this g-up, chant thing we had done every night since we first started performing. Once we've finished, we each go to a different area of the stage where we will enter from.

I could hear the final song drowning out, and know we were about to go on. I guess that the lights have dimmed when I hear everybody scream and yell, and I lightly started hitting my drumsticks together, trying to work out some of the energy coursing through my body.

The man standing next to me starts counting down, and the moment he hits one, I start running out on stage, and I can see Kit on the other side of the stage. I turn to wave at the crowd, who are going absolutely crazy.

I sit down at the drums, and start hitting the drum sticks above my head, while Alec gets the bass, and Simon and Kit can get ready with their guitars, and Kit walks over to the keyboard. The crowd starts to clap along at the same time as me. When I see the guys are ready, I start the quick intro for ' _Fence Sitter_ ,' and everyone starts screaming once they realise what song it is. Everyone starts singing along with Simon, and I'm reminded of why I do it all.

* * *

Song Reference: Fence Sitter by Ball Park Music

So that's this chapter! Just as a note - Will and Jace are in no way related in this story. I hope you liked this chapter. As I said at the beginning, please review with any questions, comments or suggestions - I'm happy to try and work anything you might want to see into the story, and answer any questions you have about the story! See you next week.


	20. Chapter 20: What to do with Will

**Chapter 20: What to do with Will**

Okay, so I know a few people aren't exactly happy with how quickly Clary is moving on, and that she's potentially going to date Will, but trust me - all of this has a purpose! I'd also like to say a massive thank you for 50 reviews on this story - feel free to review with any suggestions or comments you have about the story - I try to work in as many as possible. Hope you enjoy the chapter!

* * *

 **Clary POV**

The next morning, we're having breakfast with Will's band, so that we have a chance at getting better acquainted. I'm sitting next to Will and having a conversation with him. Every now and then I look over at one of the guys and see them looking at me concerned, but they quickly look away when they see I've noticed.

While I'm talking to him, I notice how similar, yet different to Jace he is. He's confident and funny like Jace, but his ego hasn't been fueled with success yet, so it comes off more that he's sure of himself, rather than full of himself. Honestly, it's kind of refreshing after begin with Jace for so long. We're talking about the gig the previous night, and how he's super excited that he gets to do it again tonight, and then for over a month after that.

"I was watching you, you're really good on stage. You look like you're meant to be there. A performer. I'm sure great things will happen for you." I say and squeeze his hand. As I do this, he drops the fork that he's holding, and then goes bright red. I try to look like I didn't notice, and just continue talking. I hadn't realised that he was nervous, but I was beginning to see small signs of it - he was pretty good at masking it. Seconds after the fork incident, he's back to his animated self, apparently having forgotten about it himself. H doesn't strike me as the type who usually gets nervous about girls.

When we're about to leave, he pulls me to the side. "Hey, would you, perhaps, maybe, want to go out with me tonight. We're about to leave London for over a month, which is fantastic, amazing, really. But there's this pub that I love, and I would love to go once more before we leave, and I just think you might like it there. I understand if you don't want to come. If you're busy or something..." I cut him off before he's able to say anything else, "I can go after the concert. I am kind of busy up 'till then but if you're happy to go after, I would love to come."

On the way to the stadium, we kept talking, but he is notably calmer, and now easier to talk to - he didn't seem to be trying as hard. I hated it, but almost everything Will did, I compared to Jace. Like the way they both brushed their hair out of their eyes, or their heavy use of sarcasm. I'm sure once I knew him for a little longer I would stop the comparisons, and completely move on from Jace.

After the concert, I see that Will is walking over to me, but someone from the label pulls me to the side before I can talk to Will.

"What's the truth behind the rumours with you and Herondale, you dating or what?" he asks me.

"Nothing is going on between Jace and I. We're just friends." I say, pulling my arm out of his grip.

"Then why did he come to L.A? And why are there photos of you two everywhere?" He asks me roughly, "I'm just trying to protect the band, so I need to know about everything going on, and you starting a relationship with Herondale affects this band more than you know."

"Like I said, we're just friends. We went out for breakfast a couple of times. The rumours are just that, rumours. I met him while filming, and that is that."

"It would be great publicity for you to date Herondale. Why don't you invite him to a few more shows, we can hook him up with tickets. It would help sell the last few tickets that you guys haven't sold. Really, it's a bit embarrassing that your tour hasn't sold out."

I'm trying to remain calm, but this guy is really pressing my buttons. "We haven't sold out two shows. Two. And this tour has over 100 concerts, all at stadiums. The only reason we haven't sold out is because you and your buddies insisted on adding so many extra shows. And I'm not using Jace to sell tickets. We sell tickets because of the quality of our music, and that alone. Any anyway, it's you guys that are super interested in the money, so why don't you market those shows better, and then maybe they'll sell out. And, not that it's any of your business, but I'm going out with Will tonight, so I wouldn't want Jace coming over anyway."

I walk away, but can't help but see the cunning smile on his face, and I know that I made a massive mistake in telling him about Will, but there's nothing I can do about it now.

"Where are you going tonight?" He yells after me. I want to turn around and give him another piece of my mind, but instead I ignore him and go over to Will.

He's looking over angrily at the label guy, but I say "Sorry about that, ready to go?" before he is able to do anything. He nods and escorts me out of the stadium. There's still a couple of fans left around, but none of them are at the exit we use, so we're able to get away quickly.

I think I see someone following us but ignore them. Why should I assume that anyone using this exit is following us?

Will opens the door of the bar for me, and quickly follows me in. We get a seat next to a hearty fire, on these big comfortable chairs. There's a live band playing in the corner of the room, and the place feels alive with the buzz of the people. There are enough people here that we don't stand out, but there aren't too many people that we have to yell to hear each other.

"So you come here a lot?" I ask Will, after he has gotten us some drinks.

"Yeah, there was this period where I would come everyday. It was just after a particularly rough break up. I would just sit, listen to the band and the people, and I wouldn't feel as alone."

"And how'd you get involved with music, and the band and everything?" I ask, taking a sip from my drink.

"Oh well, I have been interested in music for ages. I actually met Helen here one night, she was in the band that was playing, and I went to compliment her after the show, and we hit it off. Anyway, we stayed in touch, and a couple of months later her band broke up, and she asked me if I was interested in starting a new band with her. And then rest is sort of history. We've been together maybe a year and a half now - the band that is! We've done a small tour of colleges and pubs and everything, and released a small album. This is the first big thing we've done. So, thank you!"

"No, you guys earned it! We were listening to your album and liked what we heard. You guys are the reason you're here, not any of us," I say, "but I know how important these sorts of things can be. My band got its start because we were the opening act for Mumford and Sons, and we just blew up after that. Obviously, you need to work really hard, and actually be talented, but you need that opportunity to prove yourself. That's what this is. Prove you deserve to make it, and if you do it well enough, your life will change after this tour."

"Anyway, this is all getting a bit heavy, and I don't really know anything about you, so spill the beans." I say, because, honestly, I just wanted to have fun tonight, not have some heavy heart to heart conversation.

"Well I mean, there's not a lot to tell. I grew up in a small town outside London. I went to a school that had a focus on music, so that was what I focused on, and found out I wasn't that bad. When I was 18 I moved into the city, joined Helen's band, and you kinda already know the rest." He says, kind of rushing through the whole thing. "What about you, Clary. I feel like I know nothing about your history."

"Well, I grew up in New York, started learning the piano at 4, and the guitar by 5. Music has always been a big focus of my life." I say, and then looked into the fire.

"That's all! I asked about your history! I already knew you were born in New York, and telling when you learnt to play the piano, while impressive, doesn't tell me anything about you!" He says, trying to pull more information out of me. It didn't feel intrusive thought, just polite enthusiasm.

I flash a mischievous smile before saying "Unfortunately, greater details into my history come with later dates. Get to know the current me better, and then we'll see if you get to know more about my past!" I was trying to be playful, and keep the mood light. Anything to stop him asking more questions about my past. I already told Jace everything, and that seemed to be a mistake.

"Oh, so you think I have a chance at another date," he says, his eyes lighting up.

"Keep up what you got going on, and you're in for a good chance. What about me, how am I doing?" I ask, glad that he didn't press about my past.

"Best first date I've ever been on," he says, and it seemed really genuine.

"You can't be serious!" I say. There was no way this was his best first date.

"Maybe... best _person_ I've been on a first date with. I feel like I can just be myself around you." He says, grabbing my hand.

I could feel myself blushing at his words, and just hoped that it hid behind my hair and the darkness of the room. "That's very sweet of you to say. I'm having a great time as well."

We kept talking like that for a long time, never really getting too deep, but that's exactly what I wanted. At around 1.00 we decided that we best get back to the hotel because we had to be up early the next morning.

As soon as we left the bar, I was blinded by the flashes for paparazzi's cameras. I put up a hand to block my eyes from the light more than anything else. Then I heard the comments they were all yelling, about me ditching Jace, being loose, and man eater.

All the paparazzi are meant to stay ten feet from me, because I was getting injured a lot for a while, but they were getting a bit close for comfort.

"Hey guys, it's late, we'd just like to get back to the hotel if that's alright. Could you please let us through?" I ask, walking towards the car waiting for us.

They continued moving in a tight circle around Will and I, not really letting us towards the car. They were all yelling out questions, and I could never hear the entirety of one question, so I couldn't answer them. I was beginning to get overwhelmed - I didn't have any security, it was late, and I didn't know where I was.

I felt Will's arm wrap protectively around me, and he was yelling at the paps to leave us alone, kind of by repeating what I said in a more assertive manner.

I know the photos that would come out of this would be damning, but at the moment, I was just glad that I had someone to look after me.

When we finally get to the car, I can't help but think about the time Jace saved me from all the fans outside the studio. I didn't want to think about it, but the memories just kept resurfacing.

"You okay?" Will asks, looking at me concerned.

"Mmhm," I say, with a small smile, "thanks for helping. I really appreciate it."

"Yeah, no problem. That was crazy." He says, looking back at all the paps that were now trying to follow us.

"It can be much worse than that, but I usually have security with me. I guess it's just what comes with the life. You ready for it?" I asks, smiling up at him.

"I think I can cope," he says with a smug smile, "better than you at least!"

"Oh! Is that right, Mr. London?" I say sarcastically, while punching him softly on the arm.

He quickly grabs his arm and pretends to be in pain. I laugh, glad that the paps hadn't ruined our date.

"Thanks for walking me back to my room," I say as Will and I stop in front of my door.

"Oh, well you never know where paparazzi may be hiding," he says, "I did hear there were some that like to hide in pot plants in hotel hallways."

"Oh, is that right!" I say. "Well, goodnight Will, thanks for a great night."

I open my door, and start heading into my room, when Will pulls me back and kisses me. I give into the kiss, liking the feeling of being wanted again. The kiss is short and sweet, but good.

"Goodnight Clary," he whispers. He has this smile on his face which is hard to define, and he begins walking away, back to his own room.

"Will," I call after him. He stops and turns, the smile still there. "I had a great night, but I just want you to know that I'm not interested in anything serious, and if we are going to have anything, it'll just be for fun. I know that's maybe not what you want, and I understand if you don't want to do anything more. I'm just not in a place right now where I want to be in an actual relationship."

His smile almost seems to grow, he walks back up to me, kisses me on the cheek "a bit of fun is more than I ever dreamed of getting with you," he whispers in my ear. He walks back to his room, and I watch him go.

I know it's not fair on Will, but maybe, he can help me get over Jace. Maybe Will is everything I need to move on.

The next month goes by in a blur of concerts, press, talk show appearances and long nights. Pretty much everyday went by the same as the one before.

I get out of my bunk and find my schedule laid on the kitchen bench, I make myself a cup of coffee as I quickly read over the schedule:

5.00am - Gym

8.30am – Breakfast

9.00am - press

12.00pm – lunch

3.00pm – sound check

4.30pm – meet and greet

5.30pm – concert prep

8.00pm – concert

10.30pm – concert wrap

12.00am - free time

2.00am – curfew

I sigh at the schedule for the day, noting that it's the exact same as the one I was given the day before, and the day before that, and so on forever. It was the same schedule for pretty much every tour, the only thing I notice is that I've been given extra time for lunch. I'm pushed almost everyday to go out with Will. Despite having sold out all of our tickets, and even adding two extra shows, it seemed that the label always wanted more.

Having to be with him every single day took away the joy of being with Will. It's not fun and flirty like first week was anymore. The relationship was becoming too serious, too much, and I wanted to break it off, but I knew I would be in trouble from my publicist, the label, and Magnus. Not to mention, the rest of the tour would be totally awkward. I was just going to have to stick it out for the rest of the Europen leg of the tour. Every couple of days I would blow him off and just sleep somewhere where nobody can find me.

In the rare moments that I am actually out in public, I see my face on the cover of every gossip magazine, usually accompanied by Will, or Jace and his new girlfriend, French model Camille Belcourt. I couldn't help but be jealous of Jace's new girl - I knew it was uncalled for - I got a 'boyfriend' first, and was technically the one to leave. It's not even like we had made any promises to each other, but my relationship with Will was starting to feel more like a chore, and it seemed like Jace and Camille always had fun.

But let's face it, I could never compete with a French model.

Will and my relationship felt more like a friendship. Anything physical seemed like it was for the camera's - we barely ever kissed when it was just the two of us. In the first few weeks we were physical, but we've settled into this pattern where nothing is exciting anymore. If I had it my way, Will and I would be friends and nothing more.

Another difference on this tour was how separate I was becoming from the guys. We pretty much only hung out in the morning, when we were working out, and not really interacting with each other. The only time we actually spent together (despite living in the small confines of the tour bus) was for half an hour in the morning when we had breakfast.

We tried to make an effort to see each other after the concert, but more times than not 'free time' meant drinks with label reps, or interviews for our movie, or last minute writing sessions, where we are placed in different rooms and told to write (but I would usually just sleep during these sessions). Sometimes there would be a party we were expected to attend, but it was just filled with self-important people and groupies, so I would usually leave after a few hellos.

I'm lying in bed one night, towards the end of the Europe leg, and I am absolutely exhausted, but I can't make myself sleep. Nobody else is in the bus yet, so I get out of bed, go into the common area, and pick up my guitar, and start figuring out a tune.

After about an hour I look over the pages at the song I've written and smile. I write the words 'Girl Crush' at the top of the first page, close the book and crawl back into bed.

Just as I'm drifting off, I hear all the guys coming in, so I know that I'm going to have to be up shortly for the gym, and I finally fall asleep.

* * *

Song Mention: Girl Crush by Big Little Town, however the one Clary writes is more like the Harry Styles cover.

I hope that explain Clary and Will a little better. If there's still something you don't understand, or don't like please let me know and I'll try to explain or fix it. Thanks for reading, I'll see you next week :)


	21. Chapter 21: It All Comes Crashing Down

**Chapter 22: And it All Comes Crashing Down**

Hey guys, thanks for coming back and continuing to read the story, your support means a lot. Hope you enjoy the chapter.

* * *

 **Clary POV**

The next night, Will asks me if I'll come back to his room for the night, and I try to tell him I'm not in the mood to do anything tonight, but he assures me that he doesn't want to do anything like that.

He sits me down on the couch of their tour bus and grabs his guitar, sitting across from me. He just looks at me for a really long time. I can think of an endless list of things I would rather be doing right now, but don't want to be rude, so I gently ask him, "is there a reason you asked me here, or…"

"Oh, right. So, I've been working on this for a couple of weeks now… trying to make it as good as possible. I've never done this before, so I don't really know how to go about it… but… I wrote you a song."

"Oh, wow… nobody's ever written me a song before," I say, oddly touched.

"I'd like to play it for you… if that's okay." he asks, kind of timidly. This is was a different side to Will I hadn't really seen before.

I nod encouragingly, and he plays the song, which he calls Nervous.

It's a really good song, and the lyrics are really cute. The perfectionist side of me, however, can't help but notice how he could've layered in more voice and drums into the song to build it up more.

He can clearly see this on my face, and after I've finished gushing about the song, and telling him how sweet it is that he wrote if for me, he asks "so what would you fix?"

"What do you mean?" I ask, trying to mask my face.

"Come on, I know you Clary. I know how talented a song writer you are, and how much of a perfectionist you are. I value your opinion as high as… we higher than most people. And I can see that look on your face, so be honest - how would you fix it?"

I smile, not realising how much attention he had been paying to me. "Ah.. well. It's difficult to tell when it's only you and your guitar. Have you written other parts?"

He nods, and gets the pieces of paper that the song is written onto. I read through it quickly, and see that there is a drum line and bass and everything built into the song, but I still think he could do more with the vocals.

I tell him to play it again, the same as the time before, and as he does I sing over him with the way I think he could layer it. II work with him for another hour of so, giving him tips on how to spot that sort of thing, and how to build a bit of a stronger drum line, and then tell him that I have to head off to bed.

He walks me back to my tour bus, and quickly kisses me before wishing me a goodnight.

One thing I realised over the night is that Will has really grown to care for me, and that I see him now as nothing more than a good friend. God, I'm such a bitch.

"We're running late children, so quickly get into something presentable, and then get yourself to the meet and greet area!" Magnus says, rushing us out of the tour bus.

Alec stops at the top of the stairs and turns to Magnus, "I'm not a child!" he says, looking terribly offended.

"No, no, of course not Alexander! You're a big, strong man, who is running late! So get a move on, or child isn't the worst thing I'll call you!" Magnus says back very quickly. I hide my laughter, knowing I'll be the one Magnus attacks next if he hears, which is exactly what happens to Kit.

"Christopher!" Magnus says exasperated, "if you have the energy to laugh, then you have the energy to move more quickly, and if you have the time to laugh then you don't understand the importance of your presence at this meet and greet, and I might just have to explain it to you later tonight!"

Kit just sticks his hands up in surrender and hurries along.

I hurry after the guys into our changing room, quickly get dressed, put on some light makeup (mainly to cover up my dark under eyes), and then get to the meet and greet.

We have one final show in London tonight, and then the European leg of our tour is finished. That thought alone drives me through the meet and greet, and the camera men being granted access into Kit and my pre-show yoga session.

The crowd is amazing, so they are everything I need to get through the show.

The issue is, that I'm expected at the wrap party - and it's a big one. Our band has a reputation for throwing the best wrap parties, so a bunch of celebrities, and important people come to them. Pretty much everyone who has been involved with this section of the tour is invited, and so I'm meant to go, say thank you to everyone, yada, yada, yada.

I'm sitting on the stage, watching people clean up after the concert - sweeping up the confetti, throwing away rubbish, the lot. I know I'll get in trouble, big trouble for not going, but I can't make myself. And honestly, I don't care. Let Magnus yell at me, let the guys yell at me. Hell, let every single person at that party yell at me. I'd take it, for having this moment now, with nobody around, and no expectations.

I know I could use it as an opportunity to go to bed early, but instead I take off my heels, put a big jumper over my party dress, grab a broom and help sweep up everything on the floor.

The o2 center is pretty big, and I'm standing in the middle of what, two hours ago, was a mosh pit filled with thousands of people. It finally hits me that we won't have another concert for two week.

The thought scares me. It scares me almost as much as the thought of all the award shows we're going to have to attend in the coming weeks.

It's not at all the fear of losing - sometimes I just wish we would lose. Release some of the pressure that's been building and building for years now. The hype, the expectations, the fame - eventually, I'm just going to pop. Every time we win, we seem to become more commercialised, we seem to travel further from the sound we worked so hard to create and perfect on our first album.

My mind keeps spinning, and eventually I realise I'm just sitting on the ground in the middle of the stadium, my mind racing a million miles an hour. I wish I accepted the anxiety pills that Magnus offered to get me, but wishful thinking isn't going to help now. My breathing begins to speed up, and i can't hear what's going on around me. I think I might be having a panic attack, and wish with everything for it to stop. But everything just keeps getting worse.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, and quickly look up at Will. I silently beg him to help me. To do anything to make this stop. He wipes away the tears I didn't even know I was crying, and rubs soothing circles in my back. He asks me simple questions about myself, until I begin to calm down.

Eventually he asks, "what's happening Clary, is everything all right?"

I just look at him, and I know that I can't answer him. That I could never tell him how everything couldn't be further away from okay. He would never understand how it's all becoming too much - including him. That I can't keep lying to everyone, including myself. Because the more I do, the more I forget who I really am.

"I'm just tired, could you take me back to my room?" I ask softly, not trusting myself to be able to speak evenly.

I can see the disbelief in his eyes, but he nods nonetheless, helps me stand up, grabs my shoes and walks me back to the hotel we're staying at.

"Are people angry that I'm not at the party?" I ask, looking for the truth on his face.

A small smile appears on his face. "I was sent to look for you, and bring you back, but I'll let Magnus know what happened, and I'm sure he'll understand." he says.

I think of how much Magnus already does for us, and worries for me, and I know that he can't know about this.

"Please don't tell Magnus, not about what happened. I'll text him and let him know I'm okay, and deal with the consequences tomorrow." I say, suddenly stronger.

"But Clary, I really think he should know-" Will begins, but I cut him off.

"Promise me-, Will look at me. Promise me you won't tell Magnus what happened." I say, looking him dead in the eye.

"Okay Clary, I promise not to tell," he says, with concern written on his face.

We continue walking towards my room, and the first thing I do when I get into my room is text Magnus.

I grab my pyjamas, and go into the bathroom. I wash off all my makeup, get changed, and braid my hair. I'm ready to crash into my bed, but I'm surprised to see Will sitting on it. I would've expected him to go back to the party.

He clearly sees the shock on my face, because he stands and says, "I just needed to make sure you're okay. I didn't think you should be left alone like this."

"I'm fine thanks, just really want to get to bed," I say, moving around him towards my bed.

I'm about to slip into bed, once again thinking that Will is going to leave, when he whispers something along the lines of, 'God, you're so beautiful.'

I have never been good at accepting compliments, so I try to play it down by responding "you're not half bad yourself."

"I'm serious Clary", he says grabbing my hand, "I love everything about you. I love these hands, that show the years of hard work you've put into the band. I love your amazing hair. I love your laugh. I love how strong your are. I love that you care about others. I love your brain. I love how beautiful you are. But most of all, I love you."

I am completely shocked to silence and just stare back at him. I'm willing myself to say something, but I don't know how to respond to that. How do you respond to that, when you've begun to consider the person who says it a friend.

After a little while, Will drops my hand, and his smile vanished. "Say something Clary." When I again, remain mute, he begins to look a little sick. "Are you going to say anything Clary?"

I choke out a pathetic little, "I can't".

Appropriately, Will begins to get angry. "You can't. You can't! That's just not good enough Clary! Jesus I spill my heart, open up about you and you say nothing back. Not to mention that you never opened up about your past, and always sneak off into that room with Kit to do God knows what!"

I want to defend myself, but know this isn't the time or place. I have to let Will be angry.

He turns and walks out of the room, and I feel horrible about the relief I feel as he slams the door.

* * *

Song Mentions: Nervous by Shawn Mendes

I hope you like the chapter. Please review with any comment, questions or suggestion you have - even if it is song you'd like to see in the story! I hope you all have a lovely week, and I'll see you with with a new chapter!


	22. Chapter 22: Crashing Down Pt 2

**Chapter 22: It All Comes Crashing Down**

Hey guys, I'm back! Thanks to everyone for their support of this story, and thank you for coming back and reading. i hop you're enjoying it.

* * *

 **Simon POV**

It's around three in the morning when I'm heading back to my room after the wrap party. I lost track of Alec sometime during the party, and Kit looked like he'd rather stay at the party for a while longer. Clary ended up not coming to the party. Magnus says that she was feeling sick, but I knew that was really code for 'wanted to sleep'.

I can't blame her. Clary works the hardest in the band, and is stupidly hard on herself. I know she's had a rough couple of years, and she puts a lot of pressure on herself, but I wish she would take a moment to see everything she has achieved.

I finally make it to my room (which took me longer than I would like to admit, I mean, I didn't have _that_ much to drink, right?). I'm about to go into my room and crash, when I hear music blasting from Clary's room. I press my ear against the door and it takes me a minute to realise that _At Last_ , by Etta James is playing. I listen for a moment longer to try and hear Clary, make sure she's alright, but the music is so loud that it is drowning everything else out.

There's a possibility that she's fallen asleep, but the blasting music and light escaping from the crack under the door suggest otherwise. It wasn't like Clary to blow something off unless she had a good reason.

I remember that at some point in the night, Will went off to look for Clary, but never came back. I don't really agree with the relationship - it doesn't seem to make Clary happy - but if it's what they want to do on their last night of touring together, then who am I to stop it?

I pull my ear off the door, suddenly worried about the noises I might hear, and begin walking to my room, promising to talk to Clary tomorrow about breaking it off with Will now that they're not touring together. But first, a good night's rest.

I'm about to commit to this plan when the music from Clary's room suddenly cuts off, and I hear something that sounds like a dry heave come from Clary's room.

I walk back over to her room, suddenly sober, and start banging on it, telling Clary to open up. I can't leave her alone with Will if I know something is wrong.

"Come on Clary, open up! Will, open this door." I yell, but to no avail. I'm about to go get security, or run to the front desk to get a key, when I realise that the door was unlocked the whole time. Maybe I hadn't completely sobered up.

When I walk into the room, I expect to see Clary and Will together, but I only see Clary sitting on the floor, leaning against her bed. I can only see the back of her head, but she looks in okay health, so I quickly check the bathroom and wardrobe to make sure Will is not hiding, before moving to sit on the ground next to Clary.

As soon as I sit next to her, she leans into me, and lets me wrap my arm around her. In a matter of seconds, she has soaked the chest of my shirt, and it's the first time that I've realised that she's being crying. Looking down at her, and the silent sobs that run through her body, I feel like she's been more than just crying.

I let her keep crying into me for a while, lightly stroking her hair, just letting her get it all out. I've been at the party for, like, five hours, and I'm not sure how long she's been in this state, or why. I mentally think of the date, to try and see if it falls on any anniversaries or anything, but nothing comes to mind.

I wait a few more minutes after she's stopped crying to ask her what happened, as I wipe away her tears.

"I'm incapable of love," she says so quietly I almost miss it. Her voice is so croaky that it's obvious she's been crying for hours - possibly as long as I was at the party. I mentally kick myself for not realising something may have been wrong when Will didn't come back with Clary.

She starts crying again, so I give her some time to cool off again, before asking her "Clary what does that mean," as softly, and calmly as I possibly can, "to be incapable of love?"

Clary has one of the biggest hearts of anyone I know. I know she's had to face some tough stuff in her past, but that's never stopped her from loving and caring in the past. I'm sure that this has something to do with Will, and probably Jace. Although it has been months, I know he still has some sort of hold over her.

Clary swallows before she begins explaining, and pretty much confirms what I had been thinking. "Will just told me that he loved me. And I just stood there, mute. I couldn't say anything. I don't love him, and I won't lie about that, and I didn't know what else to say! And I know he hates me - like he should. I've been dating him for months and I have as much romantic interest in him as I do… Magnus! And then, with Jace! I didn't make enough time for him, I just expected him to wait around until it was good for me! I was being totally selfish - it's no wonder that he left. And he's the only guy I've ever felt like I could love, or maybe already did, and I screwed it up! He left, like any sane person would've done, and now I'm alone. And I will always be alone, because I'm incapable of loving anyone who could love me, or treating anyone I love properly."

Multiple times through her speech she had to stop to be able to breathe properly, or to let out a big sob or something, and I realise how much this has been eating away at her for the past couple of months, and how none of us have been there for her - because we thought Will was - but now I know we have to step up our game for the rest of this tour.

"Hey, hey… listen here." I tell her softly, making sure she looks into my eyes. "I'm here, and so are Kit and Alec, and Magnus really. We all love you. So much, Clary. And we know you love us. We are not going anywhere Clary, do you hear me. You couldn't make us leave if you tried. Will is some stupid boy who gave up on you because that's what was easy. Not loving someone back is no reason to end a relationship. It's a reason to be patient, and wait to understand what is happening, and give the other person time to reciprocate your feelings. And what happened with Jace wasn't your fault. You're both in difficult positions, and having a relationship wouldn't have been easy. As much as I hate to admit it Clary, I'm sure he does love you. I saw the way he looked at you, and the way you looked at him. It was the only reason I let the guy stick around - well that and his hot manager." I feel a spark of hope when Clary lets out a quiet laugh, and hits me lightly on the arm. "When you guys are meant to be, you will be. And until then, you've got me.

"I'm scared." Clary whispers.

"As much as it sucks, getting hurt is part of falling in love. You have to get your heart broken to find out who you really are, and then you'll find someone. Someone worth getting hurt for. It's part of growing up - and if you happen to write a couple of killer songs along the way, well that's just a bonus!" I say, and kiss the top of her head.

"When did you go getting so wise?" Clary asks, sniffling and wiping at her nose.

"I've always been wise. _You_ just haven't noticed!" I say, in an offended tone.

"Thank you Simon, for everything." she says, climbing into her bed.

I pull the cover up, and kiss her forehead. "Anything you need, any time, just ask."

I was planning on going back to my room, but I see that we have to be up in like an hour to fly to Las Vegas, and I don't really want to leave Clary alone like this, so I climb into bed next to her, and quickly drift off.

I open my eyes to Clary leaning over me, shaking me awake.

"You're like a bloody log, Lewis," she says, before getting up and heading into the bathroom.

I look over at the alarm clock and see that it's 4.30, and that we have to out of the hotel in half an hour. I flop back into my pillow and tell myself that I'll get up and go back to my room as soon as Clary is done in the bathroom. I groan as I think about the award show we have to go to tonight, and promise myself that I won't drink as much at this after party as I did the night before. I roll over to block the light coming from the bathroom, and my hand hits Clary's pillow. It's wet. She's been crying since I put her to bed.

As if to confirm this theory, Clary emerges from the bathroom, and her eyes are still red, puffy, and a bit droopy, despite the liberal amounts of makeup she applied.

"You've gotta get up Simon, or Magnus'll have your head."

"Okay, I'm up, I'm up," I mumble as I sit up on the edge of the bed. I look at the alarm clock once more before heading out of Clary's room. As I enter my own room to hear my own alarm clock going off, I realise that one never went off in Clary's room - and that it's more than likely that she was just awake all night, crying, staring at the clock.

We're in the van on the way to the airport. Because it's early in the morning, and we've got a private jet, there aren't many people following us, as there is no opportunity for a good photo.

Alec is asleep, leaning against Magnus, who looks at him every few minutes, but doesn't seem to mind. Kit looks like he's seen far better days. I'm not sure he got any sleep either last night, but for a totally different reason to Clary, who is sitting looking out the window. Her head keeps dropping for a second, as if she is trying very hard not to fall asleep.

She looks over to me and smiles, before looking out the window again. We make an odd group the five of us, but somehow, it works perfectly.

Once we're on the plane, Magnus gathers us all at the front to tell us the plans for today, and then for New York. I'm excited to go home and see mom and Rebecca, but know we have more work than play planned back home.

"So, you've got the Billboard Award show tonight. We should land in about 11 hours. You can sleep and recover from last night now. When we land I need you up and ready. You've got a busy day ahead of you. You are performing at both the show itself and the after party, so the moment we land, you will be driven to your sound check for the show, and then for the after party. After that, you will need to get ready quickly, because you will only have an hour before you are on the red carpet. You will be one of the first to walk it so you have time to get ready for your performance. You guys are nominated for five awards tonight as well, and let's face it, with your track record you will be winning most, if not all of them."

Kit did some weird call out, hype thing when Magnus says this, Alec rolled his eyes, but still smiled a little. Clary continued to look at her hands.

"After the show, you guys have to open the after party, and then you are free for the rest of the night to do what you want. I need you on good behaviour, okay. No repeats of last year!" He says, eyeing Clary and Kit. Kit let out an audible laugh, and Clary look up with this mischievous smile, holding her hands up in surrender.

He is of course talking about the Billboard Awards last year, were Clary and Kit kept cheering too loudly, trying to annoy each other, Clary ripped Kit's shirt when we were accepting an award, and they kept trying to trip people when they were going up to accept their awards. They eventually had to be escorted out because of the distraction they were causing, but then they were brought back in because we had to accept another award. Anyway, Alec and I had to give them $100 each because they bet us they could get kicked out. sometimes, you have to make your own fun at these sorts of things.

"Good. Now, tomorrow we fly to New York where we will stay for just under one week. This is your time to rest and replenish. You will also be filming some footage for the movie, just showing them around New York to important places. Your school, dance studios, houses, Taki's - that sort of thing. You guys also have some meetings to start getting down some ideas for your next album, but I'll tell you more about those once they are happening. Everyone got that." Magnus says, looking up from his little calendar.

"Yep," I say, "got it".

Kit let out some sort of a groan to acknowledge that he had listened, but didn't like it.

Alec nodded shook his head and held out a thumb.

Clary, however, had considerably paled. She looked up and tried to smile at Magnus, but it came out as more of a grimace. She almost looked in pain - I was concerned that she was going to pass out. It finally came to my attention, and apparently everyone else's, just how run down Clary looked. She's super pale - far more than normal, and it made the dark circles under her eyes stand out, making them the most prominent feature on her face. The sleeves of her jumper seemed to hang a little looser, and her cheek bones have become more pronounced. Her face has sunken in as well, and looks a little waxy. Her hair is in knots, and has lost that shine that it usually has. She doesn't look healthy, but I guess the heavy amounts of makeup she puts on for each concert hides that. Plus she's been smiling the whole tour, and she seemed to be in a happy relationship. And she didn't say anything - usually Clary will come talk to me, or at least one of the guys if she has a problem. I guess we really just dropped the ball.

Magnus stands up and leads Clary to a different part of the plane, and begins talking to her in hushed tones.

I get the guys to lean in close and quickly fill them in on what happened the night before with Clary, and the things she said. Clary had told me not to tell Magnus anything, although I think she is having to do that herself now, but she didn't say anything about the guys.

"He broke up with her after she didn't say I love you back? Jesus, he's lucky his tour is over," Alec says, clenching his fists.

"I thought Jace was a decent guy, but if he just left because things were getting hard… looks like I'll be having a few friendly words with him when I see him next…" Kit says, looking over at Alec, who nodded agreement.

"Screw what Izzy says, nobody treats Clary like that and gets away with it." Alec says, clenching his jaw.

"Look, I totally agree that they deserve some form of punishment," I say, looking over at Clary and Magnus to make sure they weren't paying attention to us, but they still had their heads together and where talking slowly, "but, we need to make sure Clary is okay. She is our first priority, and we've been letting her down. She looks like she's lost weight, she looks dead tired, and I had a quick flick through her notebook the other day - I didn't read anything, but there have been a lot of recent additions - more than normal."

"And sadder than normal, I'd expect," Kit says, looking over at Clary in concern.

"Look, we've got to look after Clary in New York. We know she never really feels settled while she's home. And tonight, Will's band is nominated, and I've heard that Jace is coming with his girlfriend. Someone on Clary duty at all times tonight - she is never alone, here me!" Alec says, quickly, fiercely, protectively.

Kit and I nod in agreement, and then spring apart as Magnus comes back over to us and sits in the seat previously occupied by Clary.

"I saw you all talking just now. I assume Simon filled you both in on what happened last night?" Magnus says, looking at Kit and Alec who both nod, confirming what he just says.

"Clary's vulnerable right now. She's hurting, more than she has in years, and she seems to be slipping back into old habits. It's our job to make she doesn't fall straight back into the past." Magnus says.

"Of course, whatever we have to do. We can take some of the workload off her, give her more time to rest. God knows she does her fair share of our work." I say, feeling a little guilty.

"Sure, you might be able to take some of the basic band duties off her - but there's really not a lot you can do. Once you start touring again, Clary will be more busy than she ever has." Magnus says, looking over at Clary, who was now asleep.

"Can't we help, do some of it for her?" Alec says to Magnus with pleading eyes. I know how much it hurts Alec when Clary gets like this.

"Unfortunately not. She signed up for this and knew what she had to do, we just didn't expect the extra… emotional stress."

"Then what can we do?" Kit asks, looking determined to help in someway.

"Clary doesn't need to work in New York apart from filming for the movie - it's crucial that you make sure she actually rests when she isn't doing that. Clary needs to get strong and healthy again before Asia. If not, she could crash - and none of us can afford that right now."

"Trust us, Clary won't have to lift a finger," I say, looking over at the guys, who nodded in agreement.

"Magnus, is it the best idea for Clary to film in New York. You know she doesn't really like going back there, you know, because it reminds her of her parents, and her brother and everything." Alec says, playing with his thumb.

"Yeah, couldn't the three of us film in New York, not make Clary do any of it." Kit says in agreement.

"Look, I know you're as concerned as I am, but I've been very careful with giving permission for certain places you guys can film. None of the places Clary is filming at should raise any questions. It's more just about her history with music and dance." Magnus says, pleading us not to keep fighting with his eyes. Magnus looked pretty tiered himself.

"And anyway," I say, "if Clary doesn't film anything in New York it'll look more suspicious. Like she's trying to hide something. Clary can just say her parents don't want to be filmed. Privacy reasons."

Magnus looks relieved that I sided with him, and the guys seem to see there's no other way.

I can't help the guilt boiling deep in my gut, however. I remember how hard Clary fought against the idea of a movie when it was first proposed, and we all treated her like crap and pressured her into doing it. If I had of just thought about the position she is in, or just sided with her, like a best friend should do, then she wouldn't feel nearly as much stress right now. I can't help but feel like just another person making Clary's life worse, and now, I will do anything to right and wrong.

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Well, that's that chapter. I'll update next week :). Please leave a review with any questions, comments or suggestions you have. I'll try answer any question (if they don't spoil anything), or work in any suggestions or comments. Thanks!


	23. Chapter 23: What Friends are For

**Chapter 23: What Friends are For**

Hey guys, I'm back. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I'm glad everyone is enjoying the story. Don't worry, some other ships are coming into the story soon - Clary just needs to sort herself out first!

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 **Clary POV**

I slowly open my eyes, and look around the plane at what everyone else is doing. All of the guys are up the front of the plane and Magnus is in a seat near me asleep. I remember the conversation he had with me before I fell asleep, and feel that the long nap I just took is a step in the right direction.

When I smell food coming from the front of the plane, I realise how hungry I am, so I head up towards the guys.

When I get to the little table where they are all sitting, Simon instantly springs to the side, making room for me to sit. I look around at all the guys, who are giving me these weird smiles, and nodding their heads towards the seat and food on the table.

Once I sit, Alec grabs a plate and starts piling food onto it. I go to grab my own plate to get food, when Alec says, "wait, this is yours Clary, hold on a second."

A minute later he hands over a mountain of food, too much for even him to eat. I give him a look before setting the food on the table.

"I call bullshit," I say. They all look caught out for a second, before looking at me with fake confusion. "You're all being, too nice. I know you've been talking - no doubt Simon told you what happened last night, and Magnus probably talked to you too. I'll admit, it was a shit night, but you don't need to change the way you treat me. I'm the only one that needs to focus on making me better. So treat me normally okay, because I don't think I can handle you guys like this on top of everything else."

Simon and Alec both look like they're about to argue with me, but Kit cuts in first, "I wasn't treating you special. I just sat here."

"And didn't say anything," I retort, "that _is_ you being nice."

Kit pretends to pull a dagger out of his chest, and throws it on the ground, before grasping his chest in pain. I pout me lips, and run my finger down my face where a tear would be.

I think everything is going back to normal, but I catch Alec's eye, and see he's still serious.

"Clary, last night was bad," Simon says, "I don't think I can just get over it."

"Clary you don't look great, and we've noticed that you're always tired. It's starting to look like the old days. We're worried." Alec adds on.

To my surprise, Kit says, "Clary, we just want you to be okay."

"I'll be okay if everyone can just go back to normal," I insist. When I see they are about to start arguing again, I change the topic. "It's not like before. I'm tired because I'm doing productive things. I'm a little bit sad for normal 20 year old girl reasons. And sure, Magnus says he's concerned about weight… but that's just because I've been too busy to always eat, and I'm working out too much. I've realised that now, and I'm going to pay more attention to my diet, and skip a couple of workouts a week so I can sleep. I promise, it's not like before."

They all look like they're about to argue with me, and I'm really not in the mood, so I try to move the conversation to a new topic. "So tonight, two songs."

Alec can see how much I don't want to talk about last night, so he gives in, "Yeah, one to open the award show, and one to open the after party."

"So _Hymn for the Weekend_ for show, and _Never Coming Down_ for party?" I ask. They all nod to confirm. "Simon I was thinking, for the chorus that I sing we could do a call response thing, so when I sing, you like repeat it after me. I think we accidentally did it at the show the other night, and it sounded pretty cool."

We practise that for a little bit till everyone gets what's going on and it sounds good. We decide that if it sounds good tonight, then we will change it for the concerts as well.

"Okay, so I was totally out of it when Magnus explained the plan to us this morning. Can someone go over it again?" Kit says with an innocent smile.

I roll me eyes but begin to explain the night anyway. I asked for things to go back to normal, and this was Kits normal. "Okay, so in my opinion, the biggest hassle of the night is all the outfit changes. We're walking the red carpet like 2 hours after we land, so we have to rush there and do a sound check before getting ready. After we've walked the carpet, we are getting changed, because God forbid I have to perform in heels."

"Or I have to in a suit," Kit adds.

I point my finger at him in agreement, before continuing, "so then we do _Hymn for the Weekend_ , get changed again, back into what we walked the carpet in, then we're up for a couple fo awards, so we just, like, attend the award show, and then we get to leave early," Kit holds his fists up in celebration, "and get changed again for the after party. We have to go to that venue and do a sound check, do _Never Coming Down_ , and then we are free for the night!"

Miraculously, everything goes to plan, and we head off the stage at the after party, exhausted, but happy with how everything went. Just as I step off the stage, I lock eyes with Jace. We stay looking at each other for a moment, before he quickly looks back to the girl he's with, and escorts her off without looking back.

I recognise her - French model, Camille Belcourt. In the short amounts of time I had to myself on the tour so far, I had done everything I could to avoid Jace, but that didn't mean I could escape the news that they had started dating. Everyone was talking about it - and how they were shocked that we weren't dating. It was difficult to avoid something if every second person you came into contact with questioned you on the matter. They got together around the same time Will and I got together, if not a little bit later.

I realise I'm still staring at Jace so I quickly look away, and then I see Will. His band was up for an award tonight as well, which, let's face it, sucks.

I see Kit at the bar, so I walk over to him, sit at the stool night to his and say "get me drunk." I had planned on going to bed early tonight, but this was the next best thing.

Kit nods, before ordering me a vodka lime soda, and himself a glass of whiskey. Strictly speaking, I'm not 21 yet, and really shouldn't be drinking, but nobody really looks prepared to tell me that. It's moments like this I don't mind using my fame.

I know that Kit isn't ordering me any heavy alcohol, but because I haven't drunk in so long, and I've barely eaten anything today, after three I am well tipsy.

I also know that Kit can see this, and isn't letting me out of his sight, but I don't mind the company.

"Thanks for staying with me," I yell over the music. He gives me this look that says 'where else would I be,' before he turns back to watch some tone deaf actress on stage trying to sing _Call Me Maybe._

When the song ends, and is met with no applause, but some laughter, the actress stumbles off stage, and back to her group of friends who are laughing the hardest.

Before I know what's going on, Kit jumps on stage and begins singing _Why Did It Have To Be Me?_

 _When you were lonely, you needed a man_

 _Someone to lean on, well I understand_

 _It's only natural_

 _But why did it have to be me?_

He's doing all these over the top actions, and dancing round the stage. He then jumps off the stage to sit in the chair next to me before continuing, singing just to me.

 _Nights can be empty and nights can be cold_

 _So you were looking for someone to hold_

He slings his arm over my shoulder, but I quickly push it off and move over on the couch, with a playful laugh.

 _That's only natural_

 _But why did it have to be me?_

He pulls me onto the stage, and hands me the microphone to sing the chorus. I give in and do over the top actions as well.

 _I was so lonesome, I was blue_

 _I couldn't help it, it had to be you and I_

 _Always thought you knew the reason why_

I pull him close and we begin moving across the stage, still with my back to his front. Somehow, he got another microphone and we start singing together.

 _I only wanted a little love affair_

 _Now I can see you are beginning to care_

His hand snakes its way down me side and I quickly hit it, and jump away from him, before flashing a mischievous smile.

 _But baby, believe me_

 _It's better to forget me._

Kit and I jump off the stage and start skipping around the party, and make it back to the stage before the next verse starts. Kit had collected Simon in the crowd, who sings the bridge, while looking at me heartbroken.

 _Men are the toys in the game that you play_

 _When you get tired, you throw 'em away_

 _That's only natural_

 _But why did it have to be me?_

I give him a pouty face before pushing him away and turning around to go back to Kit, when I bump into Alec, who must've gotten on stage while Simon was singing. Alec falls onto his knees before singing the final verse with all the drama in the world.

 _Falling in love with a woman like you_

 _Happens so quickly, there's nothing to do_

 _It's only natural_

 _But why did it have to be me?_

I pull him up so that he's standing again, before singing to all three guys.

 _I was so lonesome, I was blue_

 _I couldn't help it, it had to be you and I_

 _Always thought you knew the reason why_

Finally, we're all singing together, while doing the most over the top actions we can, dancing around and laughing. Actually having fun.

 _I only wanted a little love affair_

 _Now I can see you are beginning to care_

 _But baby, believe me_

 _It's better to forget me_

When the song finishes, we are met with some applause, and we all stumble off the stage, still laughing. I see Jace's hand on the small of Camille's back, leading her out of the party, and my spirits plumet. He did look happy with her though, so maybe it's okay. I look over at the guys, who all look pleased that they were able to make me happy. Obviously it felt good to be happy, but even if I have to pretend, I vow to put up a happy front, because that's what everyone else needs right now.

I go to get another drink, and am met by Will at the bar.

"Hey, congratulations on winning best new artist - you guys really deserve it." I say, trying to break the ice. There were already rumors that we had broken up, as we hadn't come together, or even talked the whole night, and I was trying to get over some of the awkwardness.

"Yeah you guys too with… everything you won. And both your performances tonight have been killer." He says, not really able to look me in the eyes.

"Did you want a drink?" I ask, and after he nods, I order him a beer. His drink comes before mine, and we are left standing at the bar, awkwardly waiting for my drink to come.

As soon as it does, I thank the barman, pick up my drink and leave, looking for Kit in the crowd. Before I'm able to get far though, Will calls out my name, and when I turn, he is right behind me. He gestures to the empty couch next to us, and we both sit. I'm not sure what all of this is about, but I certainly don't need a repeat of last night, and continue to search for Kit in the crowd to come and save me.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted last night. It was rude and immature - of course you don't have to say it back. I'm really embarrassed about it, actually. I know you told me that you only wanted a bit of fun, and our first few nights together were so much fun. I can appreciate now you weren't really happy being with me after the first week. After seeing you just now on stage, no pressure, actually having fun… It reminds me of what you used to be like around me, and I'm sorry. I'm especially sorry that I've ruined the tour for you." He says, lightly holding one of my hands.

"You didn't ruin anything, Will. I had a great time on tour, and seeing you perform every night was a bonus. It wasn't fair of me to see you everyday, and act like I did, and not want anything to come from it. You deserve someone who can give you everything you gave me. You really deserve it Will, you're a great man." I say, and kiss him on the cheek.

I stand up, but Will is still holding my hand. I look back at him, questioning why he hasn't let go. He must surely understand that I can't keep dating him.

"We can still be friends right?" he asks, "I don't want to lose someone as amazing as you, even if it means we can only be friends."

"I would be honoured to be considered your friend." I say, hugging him, and walking away, still in pursuit of Kit.

When I finally do find Kit, it is around midnight, and we both agree that it is time for us to leave. We head up to our rooms, and as we go I fill him in on the conversation I just had with Will.

"He's a good guy Clary, and I'm glad you sorted that out. But, no matter what happened just then, we have to film tomorrow, so get some sleep tonight. I don't care what you say, you are going to bed now. I'm coming with you. I need to make sure you actually sleep."

I roll my eyes at his request, but let him follow me into the room, secretly very grateful that he cares enough to stay with me.

"Goodnight Christopher," I say into the darkness.

I hear a groan and then "Goodnight Clarissa." I shiver at the use of my whole name, but smile nonetheless. For the first time in months, it's easy to fall asleep.

* * *

Song Mention - Why did it have to be me? - ABBA

I love Kit and Clary's friendship - I hope you do to! Please review with any questions, comment or suggestions you have. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! See you next week :)


	24. Chapter 24: Could It Get Any Worse?

**Chapter 24: Could It Get Any Worse?**

Hey guys, thanks for coming back! Hope you enjoy this chapter :)

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Clary POV

I'm sitting in the studio in New York, being asked questions about the band for the movie. Thankfully, I'm being interviewed by the one cameraman I do like, who actually respects my privacy. I know this has probably been set up purposefully by Magnus and the guys, but am thankful nonetheless.

"So Clary, how did the band start?" he asks me

"It was Simon's idea to start a band. He had been hunting around a bit for people to join him, this is when we were, like 13, he may have been 14. Anyway, he had only found Alec so far, which was amazing in itself that he said yes because he was a popular junior at the time. I already liked Alec. We were in the school musical together - he was Oliver Warbucks, and I was Annie… it was a whole thing. After he searched for a couple more weeks, I asked him if I could audition for the band. He pretty much said I didn't need to audition, and didn't know why he hadn't thought to ask me before now. So then it was the three of us, but we knew we were missing one person, and eventually found Kit."

"And how were the first couple of weeks or months as a band," the cameraman asks me.

I laugh a little before answering, "In the beginning, Kit didn't like me. He thought I was just there because I was one of Simon's little friends who wanted to join in on the fun. Eventually, it came to choosing permanent positions in the band, and up to this point, Kit had only ever heard me play guitar, so when I said I wanted drums, he lost it. We had a drum off, which I beat him in by the way, and he saw that, maybe I had a little bit of talent. We now obviously get along, for lack of a better term, like peas in a pod. We're probably the most similar in the band, which of course means we clash sometimes, but everything's sweet most of the time.

"So you talked about starting the band as the drummer, but now you're a leading lady. What happened there?" he asks.

"Yeah, so I had just turned 15 when the band got signed, and we started doing small gigs, but didn't have an album or anything. At these shows Kit and I would swap around who played drums and who played guitar, with Simon always on guitar and vocals and Alec on bass. Around a month later, we moved to L.A. to be more in the scene, and literally a couple of days later we got picked up by Mumford and Sons to open their American tour, which was an amazing opportunity, but everything was now a little more serious. We decided because I was more shy out of Kit and I, that I would stick to drums. But then when I had just turned 17, I broke my ankle right before a tour started and I couldn't play drums, so Kit and swapped again, and then I came out of my shell a bit more, and really felt what it was like to perform. We were also recording an album at the time, our third album, and that one had a couple of duets with me and Simon, and I had one solo song, so from then on Kit and I decided we would just swap for whatever songs suit our drumming style better."

"And finally Clary, we just need you to address why your parents aren't in the documentary," he says, with a warm smile.

"My parents have always been really supportive of my dreams, and done everything they could to help me pursue them. They're just private people, and didn't want an intrusion into their personal lives. No matter what comes with success for me, and how open I need to be, I'm never going to push that onto them. They're private people, and they always have been, and being included in this movie would be a major violation to that. I chose to respect their wishes, and hope everyone can understand this."

"And that's a wrap kiddo, good job today," he says. I thank him before heading to Central Park, where I'm meeting the guys and we're filming a bit together before we start travelling around the city.

This is exactly what we do, travelling to important places, like Taki's, where we had our first official gig (and got paid in food), our school, where Simon, Alec and I met, and our original rehearsal place - Simon's garage. We say hello to fans when we see them, and really soak up the city in a way I haven't in years. If only cameras weren't following us, it would've been a really good day.

Later that night back at the hotel, I tell the guys that I'm going to go to sleep early, and have every intention of doing so, until I remember that I didn't work out this morning. I know I said I would lay off, but I didn't go yesterday either. I hit the gym for around an hour, before showering and getting ready for bed.

As I'm laying in bed, trying to drift off, I keep thinking about the party last night. Specifically about Jace. How had that gone so wrong, so fast? From what I had seen, he was partying again, being a douche to paparazzi, and turning back into the closed off boy I had first met. He had gotten into fights and hadn't taken on any new projects. I was concerned, because when Jace was truly being himself, he didn't want any of that. He could be genuinely nice, and just want to sit and talk instead of getting his adrenaline pumping by partying and drinking and doing drugs. But maybe that was all fake. I remember how he said he changed _for me_. Maybe this truly is what Jace likes, and he just felt judged and pressured by me to change. I hoped that wasn't the truth, because that would mean I fell in love with a lie.

And he just left the party. He saw me up on that stage, saw that I was having a good time, and left! Life would honestly be so much easier if I had never done that movie. I wouldn't have to do the press for it, I could've had a real holiday, and I wouldn't have to deal with this complete mess Jace made in my life, months after he made it!

I sit up, and grab my guitar and one of my note books, and quickly write a song, which I title 'Lie to Me,' as I read over the lyrics, I realise that I wrote the whole song from a male perspective, expecting Simon, or maybe Kit to sing it, but I know that a female perspective could be good as well. I write a 'part 2', which is basically just changing one of the verses and the ending so that it is from both perspectives.

Looking over at the clock, I know I have to sleep, so I turn off the light and flop back into bed, trying desperately to fall asleep. I lay in bed for another hour or so, not being able to stop myself from thinking about everything, before I finally drift off into a light and restless sleep.

We all pile into the room that's been allocated for our band meeting. The execs are already in there, and we shuffle in, each finding a seat. They look at us expectantly, but when we all just look down at our hands, someone asks us what we have got for them to look at. We each look around to each other, hoping that someone will jump in and save the day.

I can see it in the guys faces - they've all been to busy and tired to write anything, and assume the same of me. I look up at the execs who are all giving each other these looks, which basically say they knew we were just lazy children, and that they should've hired songwriters like they originally wanted to.

We are meant to put out our first single in four months, exactly 2 weeks after the tour finishes. The first single is supposed to be the stand out song of the album - what the album stands for, so it was important that we actually have an album in four months time.

I can tell their about to bring up the idea about a songwriter again, so I jump in before they have the opportunity. "Actually," I say, pulling my book out of my bag, "we've written a few things, they'll need to be tidied up a bit, but their in pretty good shape. If you can just give us a couple of days to fix them, we can send, say, three demo's over to the studio. We've been working on other stuff as well, all works in progress at the moment, but we should have them done in no time."

I look over at the guys who are looking at me like I'm God himself. Little do they know the songs I'm talking about are all depressing as, and that we'll probably have to start from scratch, with stupid deadlines.

"Is there a common theme, something we could build an album around?" someone asks.

I flick through the more recent pages of my book, "at the moment, they're all slower, and their all about heartbreak. Obviously we know that we'll need a few faster, upbeat and actually happy songs, but we're working on those at the moment.

I look over at the guys, who get my cue and start nodding, and saying that they all have some good stuff on the way.

"Maybe we could do a whole album surrounding heartbreak," someone I've never seen before says.

Before I'm able to turn the idea down, everyone else on the studio end of the table agrees to it, someone even suggests the name Heartbreak Hotel for the album. I look over at the guys, who seem happy to back me up with my distaste of the idea, but before we get the chance, the execs pack up and leave, happy with the progress we've made.

When we're about to start discussing the album, someone sticks their head back into the room, and says that Hodge expects a handful of demos that night. We all say we'll send them through, and once we're sure everybody's gone, I turn to the guys.

"I am so sorry, I knew we needed something, but I never thought they would make us write an entire album about heartbreak." I say.

"It's not your fault Clary, you saved our asses." Simon says.

"But what the hell, _Heartbreak Hotel_! What kind of cliched bullshit…" Kit says.

"Look, we just get the demo's to Starkweather tonight, and then we discuss trying to change the album." Alec says, always the one with the level head.

"You do have music, don't you Clary?" Magnus asks, "I know they put a lot of pressure on you guys, but you shouldn't lie to them."

"No, no, I have music. It's just not our usual style… It's all a bit… depressing." I say, once again flicking through the songs. "We'll definitely have to write some stuff, but once we get back to L.A. I can flick through my old books and see if there's anything good there? Hopefully it won't come to that though. Next time, we start the album earlier. Okay?"

Everyone nods in agreement, and we head out, back to my room where we've agreed to go over what I've got, write some more, and record some demos. Magnus pulls me aside before I can follow them up though. I give Alec my key card, and tell them I'll be up in a minute.

"Clary they've finished editing the movie, and are currently putting in the music." He says.

"Yeah…" I say, seeing where this is heading.

"And they want you to write a song, for you two to record, for the end credits I'm pretty sure." Magnus says.

"Okay. I'll talk to Simon and we'll figure something out. When do they need it by?" I ask, already turning to follow the guys.

"You record in two weeks, so you'll need it approved before then. And Clary, you're not recording with Simon," Magus says.

"So with Kit?" I say, confused.

"No, with Jace." Magnus says, as casually as possible.

"Fine. Two weeks? What is it with these deadlines?" I ask, before thanking Magnus and heading up to the room where all the guys are waiting for me. Guess that I am going to have to deal with Jace a lot earlier than I wanted to.

We finish at around 2am, having tidied up and recorded both versions of Lie to Me and Girl Crush, and have a couple of other songs on the go. We send off the sound file to Starkweather, and all of the guys leave, ready to finally sleep.

Wishing desperately that I could also go to sleep, I instead open my laptop and get the notes Magnus sent me about what they want in the song for the movie. They want a softer song, about falling in love with your best friend, finally feeling happy and whole now that you're with this person - all the mushy stuff.

I laugh at the irony of the situation. I just spent hours writing songs about heartbreak, most of them being about this person I now had to write a long song for.

It is one of the hardest songs I've had to write, and a couple of hours later, I only have the chorus done, but decide that I have to call it a night.

I'm woken up the next morning buy all the guys jumping on the bed, and singing some weird wake up song. I start rubbing my eyes, and am about to tell them to go away, when I see a cameraman, and realise they must be filming for the movie, so I sit up, let out a big yawn and then start singing the weird, overly repetitive song with them.

As soon as the camera man leaves, they all start apologising, saying that they were forced to do it, and that they needed a shot of me waking up in the documentary.

"But that's it - we've finished filming!" Simon says, laying down in bed next to me. Despite my annoyance at being woken up, I can't help but feel some sense of relief. I won't be followed my cameras anymore. Don't need to watch what I say, or how I act. Finally, a small piece of my life back.

We all end up falling asleep on my bed again, but are woken by Magnus banging on the door, telling us we need to get down to breakfast.

Once we meet him down in the breakfast hall, he hands us each our schedules for the next month. As he starts passing them out, I can instantly see how much busier mine is that all of the guys. I can see that they've noticed as well, and are all giving each other concerned looks.

I click in front of all their faces until I have their attention, and tell them to mind their own business, and that I'll be fine.

I begin reading through my schedule and notice why I'll be so busy. I'll being doing press of the movie and documentary, plus doing all of the normal tour stuff. There are a bunch of deadlines and recording dates on the calendar as well. Looks like this next month will be super fun!

I then realise that doing the press tour for the movie will include being around Jace, and Sebastian. Could it get any worse?

* * *

Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed! If you have any questions, comments or suggestions please review with them (everything is appreciated). I promise Jace is in the next chapter, so come back next week if you want to read that. Until then, have a great week :)


	25. Chapter 25: You Again

**Chapter 25: You Again**

Hello! Thank you for coming back and reading this story! I have gotten so many lovely reviews and it really makes me want to write and upload so thank you very much. There is some Japanese in this chapter, so I've just put the English translation after it in brackets. I used Google Translate for the translations so I am sorry if there are any mistakes - I don't speak Japanese :)

* * *

 **Jace's POV**

I'm sitting in the interview room alone, waiting for Sebastian and Clary to arrive. Its unusual for Clary not to be early, but I'm sure she has a good reason for it. I'm glad that Sebastian isn't early, however. I would much prefer it if he didn't show up at all. I'm not sure what I'll do when he shows up, especially if Clary isn't here.

I have talked to Izzy and for most the interviews, Sebastian will be alone, while Clary and I do a seperate one together. I'm glad that she was able to arrange it, because I'm not sure how long I can keep a happy face around him, and it would create negative press for the movie.

Eventually Sebastian comes in, followed by Clary, who is already talking to the interviewer. Clary shows her around the room, offers her food and drink before she sits down. She quickly greets me, but is overtaken by people fixing up her hair and makeup, and I don't get a chance to talk to her.

We're in the interview room for around 3 hours, and Clary quickly says goodbye to me before leaving, following closely behind our last interviewer.

We didn't even get a chance to talk in between interviews, as she would always start writing furiously in her song book whenever she got the chance, and I didn't want to interrupt her. Sometimes Kit would come into the room and read over what she had written before making changes, or showing her something he had written. Everytime Kit would come into the room he would shoot me an angry look, but do nothing to Sebastian. Why would he be more angry at me than Sebastian… unless Clary never told them what happened.

And I can't blame her for the way she's acting towards me, either. I know we ended it on bad terms, and that fact that we never actually said goodbye to each other makes everything more awkward. Not to mention we never really discussed where our situation was at, I mean, we said I love you to each other, but never brought it up, and now we're both dating other people. It is rumored however that Clary had broken up with whoever she was dating. That thought did settle me a bit.

I get up to leave for the day, but Izzy comes up to me before I get the chance.

"Hey, what are you doing tonight?" she asks me. Honestly, I wish I wasn't doing anything, but Camille had some fashion show thing she wanted me to come to - I was just looking forward to the after party.

"There's some... thing with Camille. Why?" I reply, hoping that Izzy will tell me I have to do something else instead. I notice that I'm hoping that I have to work instead of going to some big event, where I'll be surrounded by models, followed by a party. I guess some things change.

"You know Clary has a show tonight… I was talking with Magnus before. I can get you tickets if you want, but if you're busy..." Izzy says. I can see what she's trying to do - Izzy liked me better when I was with Clary, and she was willing to do anything to make it happen. I know she is trying to manipulate me, but I need to see Clary, need to talk to her.

"No, I'll take it. Thank you Izzy." She smiles and says she'll call Magnus to arrange everything. I can't help but wonder if this is a bad idea. Crashing Clary's concert. But at the moment, I don't really care. I quickly text Camille that some work thing came up, and that I won't be able to go to her show tonight, but wish her luck.

I head up to my hotel room and get ready for the show that night, excited for the chance to finally see Clary live on stage.

I head over to the concert early, hoping for a chance to see Clary and talk to her before the show, but I don't get the chance. In fact, I don't see anyone from the band, accept Alec, who looks shocked to see me. I can't really blame him - this is the last place he should expect to see me. He awkwardly waves at me before running onto the stage to start the show.

I'm standing side stage, watching the concert. Clary starts the show playing the drums, which I didn't even know she did for the band. It would explain the strong muscles hidden in her slender arms, and the calluses that mark her child-like hands. After a few songs, Magnus comes and stands next to me, watching the show.

Clary stands up, and runs forward and grabs a guitar, while Kit runs back and sits down at the drums. He has to grab a new seat, because the one Clary had been using was set at completely the wrong height for him. While doing this, Simon had been introducing the band.

"Konnichiwa! Min'na genkidesu ka? ( _Hello! Is everyone good?)_ " Clary says into the microphone and is met with a deafening roar. I'm not too sure what she actually said, but I am very impressed that she can speak any Japanese. "I can finally see you all, and I must say, you're a very lovely looking bunch of people. Hijō ni kirei! ( _Very pretty!)_ " She says, looking around the arena. This again is met with screams. "We're going to sing a few more songs now. I'm going to be here, and Kit will be back there. Hopefully this is okay with you all?" Again, she is met with screaming. "Good, good. Well, this song is off our most recent album - it's called _Why Do You Feel So Down_. Sing along if you know it." She had been absent midenly strumming some tune on her guitar, and making small alterations to the tuning of her guitar while giving this little speech, but as soon as it finished, they began playing the song.

She is even more alive playing the guitar. She moves around the stage, meeting Simon at his microphone for the chorus of the song which they sing together. I may not have liked Simon when I first met him, but I have to admit, he is talented, and him and Clary seem to work flawlessly together.

Her energy doesn't let up for one moment in the entire song. Once they've finished, and are met with a thundering round of applause, they transition straight into their next song, which Clary has the lead vocals for this time. I obviously knew the Clary was talented, but I never knew the extent of it. She doesn't seem to miss a beat of any song, and seems to capture the crowd, demanding respect on the stage.

Looking at how all four of them work together, it's clear that all the hard work they put in, and the endless hours Clary seems to put in at the gym pay off 100 times over. While all the other guys seem to be getting a bit tired, Clary seems to feed of the energy of the crowd, becoming bigger and better with each cheer. It's clear to see why they have been so successful in such a short time - and why their tours are always so successful. The performances they do at award shows are nothing compared to this.

"Impressed?" Magnus asks. I had forgotten that he was standing next to me, but I when I look over at him, I see he is watching me not the show.

"Yeah, this is crazy. Their amazing. She's…" I say, unable to find the words to express how amazed I am by Clary in this moment.

Magnus lets out a little chuckle, and then tells me to follow him. I don't want to leave where I am, but know it would be rude not to follow. I do so reluctantly, and keep looking over my shoulder at Clary, who is finishing up the song.

I am lead into a room that has a bunch of important looking people in it, all sitting around and talking. There is a big screen that dominates one wall of the room, which has a live feed of the concert. Magnus leaves the door open, so we are still able to hear everything coming from the crowd and the stage, but I am able to actually see Clary's face on this screen.

The moment the song she was singing finishes, she takes off her guitar, and runs off the stage. I'm confused for a moment, until I realise there is a second smaller stage that she is heading towards. Currently, there is only an acoustic guitar sitting on it. She skillfully dodges the hands from the crowd trying to grab her, and gets onto the stage alone. A single spotlight hits her, and she looks out at the crowd. It is clear that this is the first time in the night she is able to appreciate how many people are here, and that they are all supporting her.

"I'd just like to say thank you. Arigatōgozaimashita ( _Thank you)_. From the bottom of my heart, I want to say thank you for coming tonight, for supporting us, and letting us live our dream. It is because of you guys that I am here, doing what I love. I will never be able to express how much that means to me, but I can try and put on a good show to give you guys something back. I wrote this song when I was 17, and feeling a bit down. I decided that whatever was going on in life, I had good people around around me, and at the end of the day, I was still breathing. We've stripped it back a bit tonight, so it's just going to me up here, so I'd really appreciate it if you could sing along. If you don't want to, that's okay as well." She says with a small chuckle "This is _It's_ _Nice to be Alive_ ". Again, while giving this little speech, she strums a pretty tune on the guitar, fixing its tuning as she goes, but she does it without pay attention.

The crowd singing along with just Clary clarifies three things for me. Number one, I finally understand what Clary meant all those months ago when she said being on stage was the only thing that made her feel alive. Number two, Clary could easily go solo if she wanted to. And number three, I am completely, unquestioningly and totally in love with Clary Fray.

Thinking it isn't even a surprise. Watching her on stage awakens something in me - it's like I've always known it, but now I can finally see it, and understand it. Nothing could make me fall out of love with this beautiful girl. And she has no idea, possibly no interest.

The guys join Clary on the smaller stage, and they do a few slower songs before heading back to the main stage to finish the concert.

"We'd just like to let you know in advance that this _is_ the last song - Saigo no kyoku ( _Last song)_ ," Alec says.

"We've decided not to do encore's anymore, as we think they are silly." Kit says.

"So we're going to give this song everything we've got left, and want you to dance and sing and go off like there is nobody in this arena but us and you. Muchūninaru! ( _Go crazy!)_ " Simon says.

"You've been an amazing crowd. Hontōni sugoi. Arigatōgozaimashita. ( _You've been amazing. Thank you very much_ ) This... is Shiver." Clary says.

Magnus explains to me that Clary wrote this song when she was fifteen, and originally Simon sung the whole thing, but now they share it. It was their first song to hit number one, and remains a fan favourite. Every single concert they have done, has ended with this song.

They all clearly have an emotional attachment to the song, and do give it everything they've got. By the end of the concert, when they all go to the front to bow to the crowd, they are covered in sweat, but you couldn't wipe the smiles from their faces. They each do one big bow, Clary says "ave atque vale", making the crowd all scream back at her, and then they run off the stage.

Despite them being gone, and the house lights having been turned on, they audience continues to sing the chorus to Shiver. I can see Clary and the guys outside the room I'm standing in, but know not to interrupt the moment they are having. They are standing in a little huddle, with all their arms caught up around each others shoulders, swaying, listening to the crowd sing. I can see how tightly they are holding on to each other, and finally understand what Clary means when she says they are her family. After a minute or so, they break apart, and run back to somewhere else backstage, and don't re-appear until an hour or so later.

I'm sitting in a chair waiting for Clary to come back, and once she sees me, she stops dead and just stares at me. I get up and go over to her, trying not to spook her.

"What are you doing here?" she says, void of any emotion.

"As in Tokyo? I'm on a press tour, you know for the movie we filmed together?" I say, jokingly.

"No, as in what are you doing backstage at my concert. Why are you here Jace?" She says, looking down at my feet.

"Magnus got me a ticket, I thought you knew…" I honestly did think they would tell her I was coming.

She shoots a look over at Magnus, who just smiles and goes back to chatting with Alec.

"That is totally out of line. If I wanted you here I would've invited you myself." I does actually hurt when she says it. There had been a small part of me that wondered if she wanted me here, and that part had gotten its answer.

"Well, for whatever it's worth, you were amazing." I say, trying to keep civil. And keep a level head. She didn't deserve me bursting out in anger, nor did she want any declarations of love.

"Thank you," she says as if its an automatic response and not something she means. She looks up at me for the first time since I walked over to her, and I can now see bags under her eyes that I couldn't before, and the exhausted set of her face. I look behind me and see that the room I was in before is now empty, so I pull her in, despite her protests, and close the door.

"Look Clary, I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry… that's not strong enough." God, I didn't know how to do this. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I acted like an ass, and… I'm sorry. For whatever it's worth - I am so sorry."

"Why do you think you hurt me?" she asks coldly.

"Well I just assumed… you look so tired, and you didn't talk to me today…" I say slowly.

"I can see that your ego remains unchanged. This may come as a shock, but not everything is about you, Jace Herondale. I'm _tired,_ because I'm in the middle of the biggest tour of my life. Not to mention I'm currently on a press tour of said tour, and a documentary, and a movie. And I'm in the middle of writing our next album. So do forgive me if I didn't have time to exchange pleasantries today, but I'm a little busy," She says quickly. She looks down at my chest, and says quietly, "I don't have time to deal with any emotions I might feel about you right now - hurt or otherwise." Her eyes quickly flick to mine with regret and she gets up to leave the room, clearly recognising that she just admitted that I did hurt her.

I grab her arm to stop her from leaving. "I was being a selfish, self-centred prick that wanted to put all the blame on you. Being with you was the first time I had felt something, and it scared me and I lashed out and I'm sorry… but I'm not scared anymore. So if you could just find it in your heart-"

"Jesus, Jace," Clary cuts me off, roughly pulling her arm from my grip, "you're giving me whiplash."

At my questioning look, she explains, "first you hate me, then you like me, then you hate me again and now you're back to liking me. I can't keep up. I can't…" and she looks truly exhausted. And scared.

"You can't what?" I ask, needing to know the full truth, no matter how much it might hurt.

"I can't keep getting left behind…" she says sadly, and I want to do anything to wipe that expression off her face, even though I know I'm the one that put it there.

"If you give me the chance… I'll prove to you" _how much I love you_ , I almost say, "that I'll never leave again. If you give me the chance I'll work as long and hard as it takes to undo everything bad I ever did to you."

When she blinks, a few tears fall and it takes all my willpower not to leap forward and wipe them away. "I think…" she says, "that I need you to leave now."

It's as if I can actually feel my heart braking. I turn towards the door and grasp the handle. _Look at you go_ I say to myself, _leaving again. Coward._

I turn back to Clary, "no, I won't leave again. I just told you that I would prove to you that I won't do that again. I'm not going to break that promise, especially not minutes after I made it. So you can leave if you want to, I'll let you go, and I won't blame you for doing it. But I'm not going to be the one leaving anymore."

She looks up at me and smiles, "you're finally catching on, Herondale."

* * *

Song Mentions:

Why Do You Feel So Down - Declan McKenna

It's Nice To Be Alive - Ball Park Music (look for a live/acoustic version)

Shiver - Coldplay

Hope you liked that chapter and are happy that Jace is back! If you noticed anything wrong with the Japanese please let me know and I'll fix it up! Also, I've been working on a couple of one shots (with completely different idea's) so let me know if you would be interested in reading those, and I might upload a couple! How you have a fabulous day and week. See you at the next chapter :)


	26. Chapter 26: Interviews & Bedtime Stories

**Chapter 26: Interviews and Bedtime Stories**

Hey guys I'm back - thank you for all the lovely reviews on the last chapter. Hope you enjoy this one :)

* * *

 **Clary POV**

I get out of bed, already exhausted, but happy. Today is the last day of press for the documentary, and last day of the Asian tour. I would also get a bit of a break on the movie press as well. Because we had been doing press for the documentary throughout Europe as well, we don't need to do any more. We still have an American press tour, and Jace and Sebastian are going to do some promo throughout Europe as well, but it's all beginning to slow down now.

Jace had become my rock. He stuck to the promise made weeks ago not to leave. Anytime that I needed him, he would be there. He got along with the guys much better now as well, somehow all bonding over their overprotectiveness of me, which then developed into friendship. Jace and I were still only friends, which we agreed to months ago, but every time I looked at him my heart swelled a little bit. It wasn't like he hadn't tried anything - he had asked a few times if this relationship could deepen into something more, and it hurt my heart to tell him no - but I just wasn't in that place at the moment. He was never bitter though, never seemed to resent the answer I gave him, and so over the past few weeks we had grown so close that I couldn't imagine life without him. That life was coming though.

After today, we will travel to New York for the first documentary premiere, and then we go L.A., London, Paris, Tokyo. Jace wasn't coming for any of that. That would all be in one week. We then have to go back to L.A, and have some final press and then it hits theaters. And then a few days later we start the American leg of the tour, which is the biggest. Apparently, constantly flying and doing press is enough of a break before starting the biggest tour we've ever done.

I'm already exhausted about what the next two weeks has to offer, and then every single day after that. I just have to take it one day at a time. _96 days left_. But all work will turn to _Heartbreak_ as soon as we finish. I don't think I'll get more than a few days off in the next five months.

If I think about it anymore, I'll have a full blown panic attack, so instead I head down to the gym to gain some control, and work out my nerves.

I'm woken by Jace in the interview room, and he tells me that the interviewer has just arrived. We had worked out a system, whereby I would sleep, and he would make sure that no interviewer ever saw me in that position.

Of course, the first question is about Jace and my suspected relationship. I can see why people would assume it. We both broke up with our partners around the time the press tour started. He comes to most of our concert's, whether he is actually in the audience, or is spotted arriving or leaving. He also sometimes joins the band when we sight see. Not to mention the fact that I have not been seen with Sebastian once since the press tour started, so it only adds more weight to the fact that I hang out with Jace so much. because it's not just some friendly cast thing.

"No, just really good friends." Jace answers, "we became good friends while filming, and we lost contact for a little bit, but it's picked right back up now that we're together doing press."

"And all the guys love him," I add, "they've become just as good of friends as I have." This isn't technically a lie. Alec and Jace had become really good friends, and Alec liked that he got to be around Izzy a lot of the time Jace hung out with us. Simon also liked that he got to hang around Izzy, but I know that it was for different reasons. And Kit and Jace get along well as well - they seemed to have a lot in common. It almost freaked me out how similar they are sometimes.

"We don't put any pressure on anything, and despite what many people may want, we know where we are with each other." Jace finishes, subtly telling the interviewer to not press the topic.

"Now, you and Jace recorded a song together for the movie. What was it like recording with Jace as opposed to your band?" the interviewer asks me.

"I had heard Jace sing once before we recorded, so I knew he was up to the challenge. And the guys were there anyway. It wasn't really anything different. I took Jace under my wing the same way he did when I was new to the movie studio."

I think back to that day. Jace was so nervous, and the guys were still being super cold to him. We hadn't really gotten re-aquanited yet, and they still only thought of him as the guy who hurt me. He ended up actually being pretty good in the recording booth, if not a bit stiff and unfamiliar. I think it may have been that day which helped bring Jace and I back together. He wasn't his usual arrogant self - he actually accepted help from the guys and myself, admitting that we had more experience.

I look over at Jace, who refuses to look back at me. Confused, I recall my answer to the last question, and realise why he won't look at me. We both know it wasn't the truth, but he did give me some helpful tips eventually. Nobody needed to know that Jace and I didn't see eye-to-eye at the beginning.

We get asked a few questions about the movie, and then the interview is over - and so is this section of the press tour! I let out a sigh of relief when the interviewer leaves.

Jace looks around, making sure nobody is paying attention to us, and then he leans in and asks softly, "is there any possibility of a relationship now? We've been together a few weeks, and everything's been smooth sailing."

"Jace, the only time we've hung out is at interviews and for like, 20 minutes after each show. This was exactly our problem last time - I just don't have enough time to put into any relationship at the moment. And if we were to pull the trigger, I would want to go 100%." I explain. _I can't keep going on and off with you,_ I want to say, _it hurts too much._

"But I mean what I said, there would be no pressure. We could take it one day at a time." I can tell he wants to say more, but holds back.

"I'm really sorry. If things were different… I can tell you've put in a big effort to get clean again, and you don't know how much that means to me. But I'm not going to ask you to wait for me. I can't guarantee I'll be ready any time soon. It's not fair." I say. In a perfect world, Jace and I would have been dating for months now - we just come from different places, and at the moment we can't coexist. It's not fair to either of us.

"You can say what you want to, Clary Fray, but nothing will stop me from waiting for you. I would wait ten years, only to be turned down by you, and that would be okay." He says, all serious suddenly. "It would be an _honour_ , to have my broken by you."

Before I can respond, Magnus comes in and tells us that it's time to head to the arena. I look back at Jace, not knowing what to say. I'm so confused about everything - about how much I want to give into him, but how wrong I know it would be. Instead, we head out to the car, leaving the conversation behind us, but that doesn't mean I stop thinking about it.

When I get off the stage, I sit down and lean up against a wall. I am literally exhausted. I put every ounce of energy I had into that concert, and know I can't do nothing else tonight - especially go to the wrap party.

All the guys, and Magnus must see this, because the help lift me up, and lead me into the backstage room we have, before resting me on the couch. I instantly start to drift off, but still catch snippets of the conversation they are having.

"Well she can't go to the party, that much is obvious." Simon says.

"I'll stay with her - I don't really want to go anyway." Alec says.

"I can get Clary out of this party, but you'll all have to go. Sorry Alec, you can't stay with her tonight, at least not now." Magnus says.

"Well we don't want her to be alone, and she definitely can't come - look, she's already fallen asleep - what are we going to do?" Kit says.

I'm about to protest, first of all to show that I'm not asleep, and second of all to tell them that I don't need anyone to stay with me tonight, but Jace speaks up before I get the chance. I didn't even know he was in the room.

"I can stay with her tonight, I'm not expected at any parties, and I'm not as tired as any of you guys anyway. I'll make sure she's okay.

I know, despite being friends with him now, that the guys won't like the idea of sending me up to the room with Jace alone, so I reply before any of them get a chance.

"I'll go with Jace, and I'll be fine." I say. They all look down at me, and I hate the pitting looks I'm receiving, so I slowly stand and walk over to Jace. I'm looking at all the guys, daring them to say no, but something changes in all their expressions, and they nod in agreement.

"Have fun tonight guys, you deserve it." I say, as the head out of the room. Simon kisses my forehead, and tells me to call him if there are any problems. He then shakes Jace's hand, and nods in gratitude. Alec looks back at me concerned before I shew him out the door.

I look up at Jace who is replicating the pitying look the guys were giving me earlier.

"Ugh, don't give me that face. I'm fine. I just need to go to sleep." I say, hitting him on the chest.

He laughs, and we head up to my room. I tell him that I'm going to shower, and say that he's welcome to use the shower after me if he wants to.

"I think I'll just go to my room. It'll be way faster, and I've got to brush my teeth and stuff anyway," he says, already heading out the door.

I shower quickly, and when I leave, Jace is already sitting on my bed in his pyjamas.

I go over and get into bed, and start drifting off as soon as my head hits the pillow. Jace lays down beside me, and starts stroking my hair, humming the tune to a song.

"Jace," I ask sleepily, "could you tell me a story?" It had been a long time since someone took care of me like this – really since I lived with Luke, and I was melting into the feeling.

Still stroking my hair, Jace beings his story, "Once upon a time…"

"Not that kind of story – I real one," I interrupt.

I hear him laugh a little bit, and he begins again. "When I was a young boy, my father would give me whatever I wanted for my birthday. I've never really liked having expensive things, or materialistic items – I always wanted something that was hard to find, or do. For my fifth birthday, he filled the bath with spaghetti and sauce, and let me play in it for as long as I wanted." He stops telling the story, as if it is almost painful to tell. I don't want to push the subject, and frankly don't have the energy to.

Just as I'm drifting off to sleep, I hear Jace ask me what my dad got me for my fifth birthday.

"He wasn't there," I whisper. "But he sent me a card – it was pink and sparkly. And he used my nickname," I recall with a smile. "He always used to call me Clarissa…"

I fall asleep minutes later, giving into the bliss that is Jace.

* * *

Hope you all liked that chapter! I promise the next one will have a bit more drama in it. Please leave a review with any questions, comments or suggestions and I'll either answer them, or try to work it into the story. Until next week...


	27. Chapter 27: The Worst Interview Ever

**Chapter 27: The Worst Interview Ever**

Hey guys, thanks for coming back! I promise this chapter has more drama than the last few, and is a bit longer as well. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Simon's POV

I am sitting, literally staring at the wall, sucking down my coffee like my life depends on it. I don't remember the last time I got a decent night's sleep. The last week has been a blur of flights, premiers, parties and meeting thousands of people. If I didn't have to do another interview for the rest of my life, I wouldn't be disappointed. Evidently, we don't always get what we want, as I have another entire day of interviews today. I finish the coffee, and lean further back into the couch, still staring at the wall.

I begin drifting off, but am woken by honking coming from the front of my house. As much as I want to crawl into my bed and stay there for a week, I get up, pull my jacket on and go and meet Clary on the street. I get in the car, and see that Kit is already in the car, asleep, along with Diego. He was really meant to be a group security guard, but he stuck close to Clary, not that any of us minded. He did a good job at protecting her - we know that he takes his job very seriously.

We drive to the studio in silence, letting the exhaustion wash over all of us. I'm amazed that Clary is even able to drive, but she's always been able to handle her fatigue better than us. Not to mention the fact that we have a studio meeting about _Heartbreak,_ to see how the album was going, which I'm sure she was on edge about. We hadn't had a chance to really sit down and work on it since our last meeting, and I already know that they won't be impressed.

It's difficult to find the motivation to work on something you don't like in the first place, when you are overworked and constantly tired, but they expected us to find a way. I guess we'll just have to buckle down over the next week and pump out a couple of songs - maybe we _will_ have to dig some stuff out of Clary's old books.

We pull up to the studio, and meet Magnus and Alec inside the room. We all sit in silence again waiting for the execs to arrive, which they do a few minutes later. They first congratulate us on the premier tour, which has generated a lot of buzz for the documentary, and then ask us how far along we are with the album. We all look at each other, nodding.

"We don't like the album idea. It's overdone, it's depressing, it's a total chile, and it's not us." Kit says bluntly.

"What Kit means," Alec jumps in, "is that we would like the opportunity to branch out. To make the album about more than just heartbreak."

"None of us feel passionately about it, and it's really showing in the music. You've got to loosen the reigns a bit if you want quality music." I add, looking each of them in the eye.

"Do you all feel this way?" Hodge asks. We all nod. He looks Clary directly in the eye, assuming she is the weakest in the group. She stares straight back, never blinking, and not breaking the bond. Her face is stony and cool. He eventually looks away, before saying, "I'm sorry, but this simply will not do. We were promised demos, and the two songs I received were good, but that's it! They will not be hits. I need quality music about heartbreak, and I need it now! Am I understood?"

When none of us reply, he begins to get really angry, "The album will start to be marketed in a fucking month. You do not have time to start again, or change ideas, or any of that bullshit. This album _will_ sell well, because it'll have a cloud of mystery around it, and will contain hit after hit. Act like professionals, and give us what you said you would. There will be no discussion of this again. Am I clear?"

"Chirstal," Clary says bitterly, without looking at him.

He gives her a look of pure annoyance, as if it is below him to even talk to us _children_ directly, and then leaves the room, followed by the more important people from label. The marketing people stay behind to fill us in on the ideas and details of the album cover, but it's pretty damn clear that we're not allowed to disagree with anything they've come up with.

Finally, the audio engineer tells us that he'll have to get an idea of what the more upbeat songs will look like, so he'll need around three demos, along with the previous ones we had already sent to start playing around with. Just before we leave, he tells us that he'll need them by the end of the week. We all start yelling that one week isn't enough for three demo's, but he tells us that we should've been more organized, and follows everyone else out the door until it's just us and Magnus left.

I look over at everyone else. Alec is sitting on the ground, leaning against a wall, looking lost. Clary has the heel of her hands pressed into her eyes, and I'm afraid that she's started to cry. Kit, I assume, looks similar to me. He's just looking around the room, hunched forward. The bags under his eyes are prominent,the stubble on his chin remains from nights where he was too tired to shave it off, and he doesn't really move - as if he can't be bothered to do even that. Just his eyes drift, as if searching for some piece of hope to hold onto.

"Well... that went just _great_ ," he says, and starts laughing. It must be because we're all delusional, but eventually we all join in, and once we've started we can't stop.

"What are we gonna do?" I eventually ask, still chuckling a bit.

"We'll do what they said. We'll figure out a way to do it, we always do." Clary says, pulling Alec to his feet.

"As much as I know you don't want to hear this, we have to leave now so you can all get ready for your first interview." Magnus says.

We all start following him to our interview space, when Clary walks up beside me. "What would you say if I told you I wanted to buy a rocket ship and fly away until the world seemed sane again?" she asks.

"I would ask if I could get in on that," I reply, gently nudging her shoulder with mine arm.

"I would definitely chip in on a rocket ship. That would be fucking awesome," Kit says from behind us. Clary turns and gives her one of her mischievous smiles, which are usually aimed at Kit.

"If only… we could all live on our own little planet," Alec adds, looking up at the roof wishfully.

"Am I not invited on your little space adventure?" Magnus asks.

"Of course you are - how would we run a planet without you Mags?" Clary says.

"Glad to see at least one of you recognises my brilliance!" Magnus says, blowing a kiss at Clary, who catches it and slaps it on her check.

"We really do appreciate everything you've done Magnus," Alec says. Kit and Clary begin singing _For He's a Jolly Good Fellow_ , while dancing around Magnus.

I just hope they can keep up this level of energy throughout the day.

It is safe to say that Clary and Kit _did not_ maintain the same level of energy throughout the day. I'm watching them trying to hype each other up for the next interview and it seems to be working. Alec is watching them as well, amused.

"No Kit, we already decided that I'm Sharpay today. You're Ryan - don't go stealing my bit!" Clary says, interrupting their lip warmups.

"Well I'm _sor-ry_ if I can portray Sharpay better than you!" Kit says dramatically.

Clary's mouth opens in shock, and she's about to reply, when the interviewer walking into the room. "This isn't over" she quickly tells him, before going over to introduce herself to the interviewer.

I watch her showing the lady around the room, when Magnus comes up to me. "So you've agreed to go to Clary's this afternoon to write?" he asks.

"Yeah, she said she'd go through her books and try and find something we can fix up and use," I reply. Magnus nods his head in appreciation. Clary hands the lady a cup of coffee that she just made, and then introduces her to us, before sitting down next to Kit, giving her time to set-up.

I don't understand how Clary did that with every single interviewer. Obviously she had been asked about it before, but Clary just says that her parents raised her to always be polite. It was more than that though, for some reason, Clary was always treated the worst in interviews, and she hates them the most out of all of us (probably for that reason). I think she does it in a small hope that people will treat her better because of it, but I know she shouldn't have to do all of that just to be treated like the rest of us.

I zone out of the interview, until I hear my name being mentioned, and then I start paying attention to the questions we're being asked.

"You've officially premiered the movie a handful of times now. How have the reactions been so far?" she asks, looking directly at me.

"It's been really great, actually. Everyone we've spoken to has said that they had a great time watching it, and that it's a lot of fun, but does allow them to see into our lives a bit more, which is exactly what we were looking for. Yeah, it's been a really great experience," I reply.

"And Alec, how has all the travelling been? Both with the premiers, and the tour itself?" she asks.

"Yeah, I mean it takes it out of you a bit, but it's been amazing to meet everyone, and see everything we have. It's a really special opportunity we've been presented with, and we obviously wouldn't be here without everyone's support, so thank you a million times over." Alec says.

"Now Kit, I have seen the documentary, and as Simon mentioned before, it covers a range of emotions. What was it like to film that?" she asks Kit.

"Yeah, we filmed it over a couple of months, and there was some footage from way earlier that got included as well. I think someone said they had around 800 hours of raw footage to choose from to put in the film, so what you see is really only a small snippet of what a tour, or just being in this band is like. It was pretty natural to film, we'd just act naturally while camera's followed us around. The people you see in that documentary are what we are like pretty much everyday."

"Now, I'm going to get a little bit serious here if that's okay. There's this great message in the film of acceptance, and how you all as a band accept, respect and love anyone and everyone who wants it. You're quite a… diverse group yourselves. You've each had something that isn't the social norm; Alec, with you being gay, Kit with your bisexuality, Simon being Jewish, and Clary…" she says, look over at Clary for the first time since the interview has started.

"The red hair," Clary says jokingly, trying to fill the silence. We all laugh, but the interviewer doesn't.

"Yes, sure. You've all spoken out on these issues, is the message of acceptance important to you?" she finishes, looking deliberately away from Clary.

"Yeah, definitely. I think we address it pretty well in the documentary, but this band is a place where we all feel safe with each other… quirks and faults and all the ugly stuff, and we want it to be a place other people feel safe and comfortable with themselves as well," Kit says. Sometimes, he is actually able to be serious.

"Another of my favourite sections of the documentary is all the footage from when you guys were younger. I particularly loved the footage from the Annie Musical, which we've got a clip of here."

We all watch the video of Clary and Alec singing _I Don't Need Anything But You._ Clary and Alec are singing together, while Clary tap dances around the stage. She couldn't be any older than 13 in the clip, and Alec would've been around 16 or 17.

I watch the interviewer, who is getting ready to ask her next question. It better be for Clary, who she has been deliberately ignoring throughout the interview.

She does turn to Clary and say, "Isn't it funny how much you have in common with little orphan Annie?"

I can see Clary freeze up for a minute, and my own heart starts beating faster. Clary quickly plays it off, before joking about her red hair again, and how she must've been made for the role.

We all try to move on from the topic, but the interviewer silences us, telling Clary not to be silly. I see Clary beg the interviewer not to say anything, "please don't," she whispers, but I can see the ruthlessness in the interviewers face, and know that she'll do it.

"I'm of course, I'm talking about the fact that you are also an orphan. Could you just clarify for me; I've looked around for information on your parents before, and was never able to find anything. And then in the documentary you talked about your parents like they were still alive - how long have you been lying to your fan's about this, Clary?"

Clary just stares back at the interviewer, breathing very quickly. A single tear falls, but she wipes it away quickly. We're all shocked to silence.

"I did manage to find the _sweetest_ video, of you singing, what I can only assume is an original song, at your mother's funeral." She says, with the fakest look of innocence on her face.

Before the video even starts playing, Clary gets out of her chair and runs from the room, quickly followed by Diego.

The moment Clary leaves the room, we all start yelling at the lady. Kit gets up and tries to break the camera, but the Cameraman quickly picks it up and starts filming the encounter.

"It's not my fault the bitch lied. I'm only telling the truth," the interviewer yells back at us. This starts a new wave of yelling. I can still hear the video of Clary singing in the background playing, but she has started to cry in the video, and it only fuels my rage. We all yell at her so much that the interviewer begins to cry, but I don't feel guilty about it for one second. We get asked to leave the room by security, who are looking highly confused by the whole situation.

We are met outside by Magnus, who demands to know what is going on. We quickly explain everything that happened. He looks absolutely horrified, and runs into the interview room.

After one quick sweep of the room, we come to the conclusion that Clary isn't in here. Kit suggests that she may have gone into the bathroom, so we walk over the women's room, and knock loudly. We don't hear any response - it doesn't mean Clary's not in there, but it hopefully means that nobody else is. We take the risk and push open the door, but find all the stalls empty. One of the windows is wide open.

"Look she probably went home. Diego went with her, so she'll be safe. We can just go meet her there." I say, trying to keep a level head.

"Was Clary in there?" Magnus asks us once we leave the bathroom. We all shake our heads. "Well, I think it would be best if we found her. I've talked to that devil of a woman, but there isn't much I can do at the moment. I'll call her boss in a minute, and try my hardest to get her fired. Then I'll call the studio's publicist and see the best way to keep the story hushed up."

"Magnus, you should probably do it in the other order. She could be posting that video as we speak." Alec says. Magnus nods in agreement, already walking away dialling a number.

"We're going to Clary's house," Kit yells after him. Magnus holds up a thumb to indicate that he heard us.

"She couldn't have left more than 20 minutes ago. If we leave now we should be able to meet her at her house." Kit says quickly.

Alec shakes his car keys, and we all run out and quickly get into his car.

I try calling Clary a handful of times, but she doesn't pick up any of the times. I can hear Kit in the back trying the same thing. Alec is concentrating on getting us to Clary's house as quickly as possible, but because it is L.A., we inevitably hit traffic, and it takes us another 40 minutes to get to Clary's house.

Once we finally do, Alec pulls a spare key for Clary's house out of his glove box, and we quickly run to the door. As soon as we step inside I can tell she's not here, but we begin looking around anyway, calling out her name as we search through the house.

We meet back in her living room, and we all know that she was here, but left quickly.

"There's a bunch of clothes all over her room," I say.

"Yeah, and her guitar is missing," Alec adds.

"And so are the journal, book things she keeps," Kit finishes, pointing to the bookshelf where Clary usually stores the leather bound notebooks.

"Look, she's probably just left the house. I'll bet she's gone to… Jace or something . Once this breaks, her house will be swarming with paparazzi - it's the last place she'll want to be."

"Yeah, and we'll see her at the premier tonight - it's Clary, she wouldn't blow off something like that." Kit says.

We all look at each other, worried, but know that she'll just want some space while she processes the news. Kit's right, we'll see her tonight.

We're due on the red carpet and Clary still isn't here. We've tried calling, texting, facetiming - everything.

"Look, we know that she drove home from the studio, because her car was gone, and you guys said she had taken stuff from her house. We haven't been able to contact Diego either - but we can only assume that they are together, which means Clary is safe, at least physically. We can give her another couple of minutes to show up, but if not, we can tell everyone that she is sick and can't make it tonight. The story still hasn't broken, so they should believe us." Magnus says.

We eventually have to go out without Clary, and we do spread the rumor of Clary's illness, and that she really just had to stay home and get better so she could be back to peak fitness before the American leg of the tour starts.

After the premier, we all gather again. None of us have been contacted by Clary yet. We decide that we'll have to use the paparazzi to try and track where she is. If she's been in public anywhere it'll be big news after we just spread the rumor of her sickness. After a thorough search, Clary doesn't show up anywhere. It's good in one regard, because we won't be labeled as liars, but it also means we're completely in the dark about Clary's whereabouts.

"Should we call Luke?" I ask. Hopefully Clary has called him, and just couldn't face the public tonight.

"I think we have to." Alec says.

"You do the honours Simon," Kit says.

I dial Lukes number, dreading the conversation I may have to have.

"Hey Luke, how are you doing?" I ask, once he picks up.

"Simon! Good to hear from you. I'm doing well. What'd you need?" he asks.

"Has Clary called you?" I ask.

"I thought she had the documentary premiere tonight? Shouldn't she be there? Why would she be calling me?" He says, concerned.

"Yeah we did... Luke you need to tell us the truth. If she's asked you to lie for her… this is more important. Did she call you... tell you where she is? I promise we won't go and see her." I say, pleading him to tell me what I want to hear.

"Why isn't Clary with you? What happened?" Luke yells into the phone.

I quickly tell him what happened in the interview that afternoon, and like we predicted, he freaks out. After he calms down a bit, he says, "Okay, well I'll try and get in contact with her, and let you know if I hear anything," before hanging up the phone, presumably to call Clary.

"I guess we've just gotta have faith that she'll call." I say, and the guys look at me in despair.

 **Clary's POV**

I decline another incoming call from Simon with a twinge of guilt. "Like I was saying, Mr Rook, I need you to find him, quickly. I don't care how much it costs. I need a phone number, or an address."

"Why's this so important, eh?" Johnny Rook asks.

"I lost contact years ago, and now… I need to tell him something. It's not really _your_ issue why I need to find him." I say.

"Well, you came to the best. Give me a few days and I should have everything you need. This isn't the first person I've had to find," He says smuggly.

"You better be the best, after how much you prioritised this job over Kit." I snap back. I had never really liked Kit's father, with good reason.

"I'll let that go because you're a high paying client, not because your some little girl in my son's band," he spits back.

"I don't care what you think of me. I want updates on everything you find," I say.

"New York's not that big of a city, but it's got a lot of hiding places," he says, standing up to leave.

"Then search them all," I say shortly, shutting the door after he steps outside.

* * *

Wow! Hope you all liked that chapter, and like that there's a bit of drama in the story now. How do you think Clary's tracking down?! Please feel free to leave a review with any questions, comments or suggestions. Until next week... :)


	28. Chapter 28: The Mystery Man

**Chapter 28: The Mystery Man**

Hey guys, thanks for coming back! Hope you're enjoying the story so far. I've just finished writing this chapter, so sorry if there are a few mistakes. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

 **Clary POV**

I'm sitting in the living room, leg bouncing as I stare at the door. I've been in this position for a while now, my coffee sitting cold and forgotten next to me.

I go completely still when I hear a soft knock at the door, but my heart is racing faster than ever. Slowly, I rise and make my way over to the door, extending a shaking hand to turn the handle. Once I open the door, I stand to the side, letting him in without saying a word. I make my way back over to the chair I had previously been sitting in, and watch as he sits on the couch across from me.

Neither of us say a word for a couple of minutes, just taking in the sight of each other.

"Jonathan," I eventually say, acknowledging the stranger - my brother - sitting across from me.

"Clarissa," he replies.

"I don't like that - it's Clary." I tell him shortly.

"But dad always-" he begins, but stops once he sees the look I give him. "I didn't know you still had our old house? It all looks… the exact same. You told me you sold it… even gave me half the money for it..." He looks around the living room, looking lost in thought.

"I just gave you half of what the house would've sold for. I did try selling it… once. But I don't know… it felt like saying goodbye to another piece of me… I couldn't bear to do it again."

He looks up and gives me a guilty look, but I quickly look away. I won't be guilted into anything today.

"Why are you here Clary? Why am _I_ here?" he asks, almost sadly.

"Thought you should hear it from me. The press found out about mom and dad. I don't know if you've already heard - it's already all over the place. I would've told you sooner but…" the fact that we haven't talked to each other in years hangs in between us, mixing with the stale air. "Anyway, they must've figured out my real last name is Morgenstern, so it's only a matter of time before they figure out about you. I'm not sure if they'll be able to find you, but I thought you ought to know."

"It's out huh… I'm surprised you managed to keep it secret this long. I mean… they found out about Kit's mom almost instantly," he says, looking up at the space above my head.

"Yeah… Kit chose to tell. They didn't _figure_ anything out there. Honestly I don't know how they found out about mom and dad… it had been so well hidden and then… poof, suddenly it's _so easy_ to find?"

"Someone from our school probably spilled," he says very quickly, almost like it's a prepared response.

I look at him for a minute. Surely he couldn't… surely my own brother, no matter how long we hadn't seen each other, wouldn't sell me out. Honestly, I'd thought about the whole high school thing - but why now? I shake my head… Jon would never - and even if he would, why would he wait so long?

Clearly not comfortable with the silence, Jon says, "so you guys… Simon and everyone seem to be doing well."

"So you've been keeping track?" I say, trying not to get angry, but I'll admit… it's difficult. Maybe for him it's been easier not having me in his life - I guess I have always been kind of present.

"It's kinda hard not to… you guys are everywhere," he says softly.

"How have you been Jon?" I say, changing the subject. I can hear the strain in my own voice, but can't help the anger that is rising up in me.

"I've been… good. I got married a year ago, we've got a kid on the way." He looks up at me, smiling. If he thought I was going to receive this news well, he's sorely mistaken.

"Jesus! You're married. And I have no clue who she is! Don't even know her name. And I have a niece or nephew on the way… I've missed out on your entire life!"

"Ummm…" he says, not knowing how to deal with his own sister. "How have _you_ been?"

"You already know don't you! Said it yourself - we're everywhere. You know everything that's gone on - seen it the press, haven't you. You already know how I feel, because it's in all the fucking songs that we've produced. Everything about my life since I moved to L.A. has been public property. I know _nothing_ about you since I moved to L.A!"

"You're the one that moved Clary! Not me." Jon yells back, getting angry himself.

I go deadly silent - a weird mix of rage and bitter sadness. Monotone, I reply, "you said you we're going to follow me. You said you would always be there for me. If I had of known that you wouldn't be there a week later, I wouldn't have left. _You_ are the one that left me. _You're_ the one that didn't follow through."

He's about to respond, but the anger takes over, and I begin to tell him everything I wish he had of been there for. Everything I hate him for making me go through alone. "But I guess you don't know my _whole_ life. I've learnt to survive without you. Let's see, shall we. Well, should we start with the fact that it's a good night if I get five hours of sleep? Or perhaps the fact that, despite what you may have assumed, I've never touched drugs. I didn't need you when I was almost raped a couple of months ago." He's about to cut in, but I don't let him - I'm finally getting to say my piece. "Don't worry Jon - it's not the first time something like that happened. I didn't need you when I had my heart broken for the first time. Should we talk about the endless nights I cried myself to sleep over your absence. About all the hate I was getting for just trying my hardest. About mom. I didn't need you when I had an eating disorder because of the constant scrutiny over my appearance."

He looks at me lost.

"And I don't need you now." I say sharply.

He's stunned into silence, but I'm not finished. Even though I've started crying, I don't stop, because I'm sure that I would never start again. "It was your choice to leave. Mom was in a car accident… dad was on tour in Afghanistan. They didn't choose to leave me! But I suppose life is better without me in it? Was it worth it, Jon? Was leaving me worth it?"

When he doesn't reply, and I can't stop crying, I decide to go into the bathroom to stop myself and clean up. When I open the door and look in the mirror I see him standing behind me. "You're not getting off that easy Clary. My life hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows - I've been following your every move… I saw how much you were struggling. It wasn't an easy choice… not following you. But I was scared. I had no parents. I hadn't done well at school, had never had a job. You had this great future lined up for you, and I didn't want to depend on you for everything. I would drag you down… slow you down. I knew your life would be better without me in it, so I had to cut you off. Clean cut - it was the only way to do it."

I just stare back at him, not knowing what to say. "Once I got the money from the house, I decided to start over. I was going to join the army, you know, be like dad. But I couldn't do it. I remembered how much you hated dad being in the army, and I couldn't bring myself to make you hate me anymore than I already knew you did."

"At least one good thing came out of you leaving…" I say, wiping my tears away. "Half the heartbreak songs we've produced have been about you."

"Clary, I'm so sorry. I know that nothing I say will ever make up for everything that I did to you… or didn't do, I guess. But if you'll have me, I would like to be a part of your life again."

"What part of 'I don't need you' don't you understand," I say, refusing to let him in.

"I know you don't need me, but I would still like to be a part of your life.

I make us each a cup of coffee, and we sit on the couch again. After an awkward silence, he asks, "who'd you live with when you first moved?" I look up at him and see that he's concerned about the possibility that I lived by myself when I was 15, due to his absence.

"I lived with Simon and his mom for a little bit. But I lived with Luke for like... a year after that, on and off."

"With fucking Luke! Jesus Clary maybe if I'd known that, I would've come."

"What's wrong with you?" I yell back. I will defend Luke to my dying breath.

"He was having an affair with mom just before dad died! Did you know that!"

"Yes, I already know that! Luke told me, a little bit after I moved in with him. Did you know that dad was also having an affair - that they were going to get a divorce."

He looks at me alarmed, so I continue the story that Luke told me, "Dad died before it was finalised. Mom was devastated after dad died - you remember. She blamed herself, for some fucked up reason. If Luke hadn't of been there I don't know what would've happened… we probably would've been put in the system. I was only thirteen - I couldn't run a house, and pay for the bills - especially when _you_ did shit all. Don't get mad at Luke when he's the reason we were still a family. And then, after mom died and you didn't come, he picked up his life and moved to L.A. He tried in every way possible to help me adjust into the new life, and only after I told him a thousand times that I would be okay did he move back to New York. I didn't even have to _ask_ him to come."

Jon looks distracted, and quickly tells me that he has to go -

"Oh, do what you do best Jon! Leave! Fucking leave when life gets a little bit difficult. How else could you disappoint me… it's not like you can sell the story about our parents to the tabloids… someone got in there before you on that one… but if you keep thinking really hard I'm sure you can find some other way to do it!"

He is barely able to look at me, and has gone super pale, as if he is going to be sick. I'm hoping it's because I just said the worst thing I could think of… but somehow, I know it isn't.

"You didn't" I whisper.

He looks up at me, tears beginning to well. "Clarissa, Clary… I… You have to understand. I have a kid on the way. I'm scared shitless. I was never a good brother to you… I'm probably going to be a shit dad… if the only thing I can do for my child is provide them with a future, then that's what I'm going to do… but… I, I didn't know any other way to get money. I'm sorry Clary. I'm so sorry."

"You didn't think _I_ wouldn't give you money? If you had of come to me and asked, I would've given you what ever I wanted."

"Clary think about it. I haven't seen you in almost six years. If I had've shown up out of the blue, and asked for money for my future child - who you had no idea about - I don't think you would've just given it to me."

"Yes, I would've. Jon, if you had come to me, even six years late, I would've been overjoyed. I had to hire a fucking PI to find you! _And_ I would much prefer giving you the money rather than you selling my secrets."

I can see that he's looking for another excuse… trying to figure out a way to make me forgive him. But I don't think anything can forgive this.

"Just get out Jon." I say, finally over my brother.

"But Clary…" he says, giving me the puppy dog eyes that always worked on our mother.

"I don't want to here. You go back to your life and I'll go back to mine. I think that's how it's best."

"But Clary, I just got you back… I don't want to lose my family again."

"If your absence has taught me anything, it's that blood doesn't equal family. You may be related to me… but you're not my family. Not anymore."

He looks truly heartbroken, but it somehow doesn't affect me. It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

"Goodbye Jon. I hope you have a nice life… I really do." And I mean it.

"Yeah… you to, Clarissa" he says, in shock.

I guide him to the door, and watch him walk down the street through the window. Maybe I'll see him again one day… maybe. All I know, is that I'm not angry at my brother anymore. And that is a wonderful feeling.

I head up to my childhood bedroom. I hadn't really paid attention to anything in the house for the two days I had been here. I had just given myself to the task of making everything clean again.

I slowly look around at the small room which contained my life for so many years. I stop when I see all of the drawing materials still thrown across my desk. I tell myself that I'll get back into drawing soon, but right now am too tired, so I crawl under the covers instead. I pull the covers over my head, and for the first time since I was fifteen, I cry about my parents death. I've never really had to deal with it until now - there had always been distractions, reasons to ignore it, the anger at Jon, the confusion about my new life… but being here brings back all the heartbreak.

After a while, I'm all cried out, but it's still way too early to go to bed. I pull the covers down a bit, and look at my phone. There is an endless list of missed calls from the guys, Magnus, a bunch of studio execs - but I don't care. I know that I need this time to myself - I'll deal with the consequences later.

I open my laptop and see that along with the news of my parents' deaths, and 'investigations' into my earlier life, the video of me singing at my mom's funeral has been released. I quickly stop the video, not ready to relive that day yet.

I stare up at the ceiling. I don't want to lie in bed and feel pathetic, but I don't actually want to get out of bed either. I decide to call the one person who won't be judgy or over sensitive.

Jace doesn't pick up the phone, and I don't know what else to do, but he calls back a matter of seconds later.

"Hey Clary I'm so sorry that I missed your call," he says.

"It's okay." I say, laughing a little at his urgency. "Hey can you do me a favour? Can you tell the guys that I'll be back for the start of the American tour, but won't be back before then."

"Of course. Clary can I ask.. where are you?"

"Uhhh… classified information at the moment, Herondale. I can't afford anyone finding out and dragging me back to all my responsibilities."

"Ahhh. So you're just playing hooky! And without me… I'm deeply offended."

After I laugh a bit, he asks "but seriously, are you doing okay?"

"It's weird. For the first time, everyone knows why I am the way I am. I'm not sure how to feel about it yet. I tracked down my brother though. I saw him today."

"You have got to be one of the bravest people I know. If I was going through everything you are, I would want to hide under the covers and not come out for a week!"

"That's exactly what I'm doing right now!"

"Ahh. Great minds think alike. Good to see we're both extremely bright people!"

"Or perhaps we're both extremely stupid - I think that's much more likely!" I respond, glad that the conversation isn't anything too heavy. It's like he knows exactly what I need.

"I'm offended at the mere accusation of being called stupid. Do you know who you are talking to? A head this beautiful couldn't be filled with anything other than gold."

"Or air." I say quietly.

"You're just lucky I don't know where you are, or I would have to go over there, and kick your butt!" Jace says, sounding amused, but somehow, actually a little offended.

"Looks like I _am_ the smart one out of us!"

"Luck doesn't equate to intelligence, Clarissa." I shiver at the use of my full name - it's happened too many times in one day.

"Ahhh. Perhaps I am both! You see, I'm extremely lucky to have met you, but smart enough to make you like me." I say, actually meaning it.

" _I'm_ the lucky one for getting to meet you. And I would have to be the dumbest person on the planet to not like you." he says, suddenly serious.

"It's going to be weird, officially being done with the movie and the press and everything. Having no reason to see you."

"I'll miss you every day, Clary."

I think about everything that brought me to the place I am today. All the stupid history and all the people who walked out of my life. I'd be damned if i was going to let Jace be one of those people.

"Clary, you still there?" Jace asks.

"Yeah, I'm here… listen… why don't we just give it a go. I don't want to leave you, and it's been a while and I still feel… you know." I say, nervous about what his reaction could be.

"Are you saying what I think… I don't want to be presumptuous here. I've asked you to be my girlfriend enough times that I think another rejection might _actually_ do some harm to my ego, and I simply can't afford that." I can tell that he's trying to use humor to cover up his nerves. I don't know when we got to know each other that well, but I'm thankful.

"Yes Jace, I'm suggesting what you're thinking. I mean, obviously we'll have to talk about how it will all work, and I really don't think we should come out to the public right away… but I mean it. Why don't we just see what we can be."

"You've just made me the happiest man alive. Clary, I'll do anything to make it work." He pulls the phone away from his head and starts whooping.

I laugh into the phone. "Calm down there cowboy. We can just see how it goes while we're doing press in America, and if there's something worth pursuing, then we'll pursue it."

"I promise… there will be something to pursue." I can hear his smile through the phone, and can't help but smile myself.

"Maybe we should have a cover story, so people don't suspect we're dating?" I suggest.

"One of us could pretend to date someone." Jace says. "It's a classic Hollywood move."

I look back at my laptop, and see the ever prevalent rumor that Kit and I are dating, and it's literally like a light bulb goes off.

"Kit!" I say.

"No, I'm Jace. Please don't tell me you thought you were on the phone to Kit this whole time."

"No," I laugh, "I could pretend to date Kit. Everyone already thinks we're dating, and I spend so much time around him that it wouldn't be suspicious. Trust me. All we would have to do is hold hands like, once, in public and it would pretty much confirm our relationship. People would be so fixated on it, they would even _think_ that we were dating."

"Yeah, I mean, if he's down for it..."

"I'll ask him when I see him. I'm sure he won't have a problem with it. We can tell everyone the plan then."

"It's a shame, that you have to go on tour. I'd love to take you away forever - just the two us."

"I wish you could take me away as well. I dreaded this tour for months before it started, and it hasn't gotten any better now that I'm actually on it."

"Why don't you take a break from the band?"

"I really think that would be a good idea. Give us all some time to cool off. I've been thinking about it for ages, but nobody else has even entertained the idea."

"Well then, I think it's the right thing to do."

"Okay, well, I have to go - I have some serious thinking and planning to do, but I'll call again tomorrow, okay?"

"I really wish I could kiss you right now."

"You'll just have to be patient and wait! I'll see you in a couple of days."

"I've never been patient… but for you - anything." I smile at how happy I feel - it's almost a foreign feeling.

I hang up the phone, and floppy back into bed, letting the giddy smile on my face stay for once.

* * *

I hope you like that chapter - let me know what you thought. Reviews really help motivate me to write and edit and hopefully make my work a little bit better, so I'd really appreciate if you could take a second to leave a review - it can be anything - a suggestion, comment, question. I'll answer everything in the next chapter. Also shout out to CarissaCampbell for helping me come up with some ideas for this chapter! Have a great week everyone :)


	29. Chapter 29: The Truth About Jace

**Chapter 30: The truth about Jace**

Hello everyone, thank you for coming back. Thank you for all the lovely reviews, and 100 follows! Hope you enjoy this chapter :)

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

 _Hodge, I would like to talk about Heartbreak…_ You need to be more assertive Clary. _Hodge, the band and I have decided that we don't want to do Heartbreak anymore…_ That's too on the nose.

"Clary, you wanted to see me?" Hodge says as he walks into the room.

"Hodge!" I say, turning to face him quickly. "Yes, thank you for coming."

"This wouldn't have anything to do with your absence, would it… or perhaps the fact that you didn't disclose the death of your parents to your label?"

"No… nothing to do with either of those. I was hoping to discuss Heartbreak Hotel with you." I say, trying to sound as natural as possible, but he can clearly see I'm uncomfortable in the situation.

"Ahh yes, the album I was promised by yesterday… come to explain why I haven't got it yet?" He says, paying more attention to his phone than me.

"Ummm, well Sir, you see… Everyone… the guys the and I. We feel like this album isn't the right thing for us to do. It's far from our normal sound and energy. We feel that it is coming out quite depressing, and… different from our usual style."

"Right, well you've changed your style before. You started out at rock-alternative, and dabbled in different genres, and now focus on pop. I see no reason you should fear a little change in your music." He says, look at me impatiently.

"Yes, of course Sir. It's just, we don't want to produce it as an album. We don't feel passionate about the album, and we don't feel comfortable producing something we're not passionate about." I manage to look him in the eyes throughout my whole little speech, as difficult as it is.

He finally puts his phone away and takes me in for a minute. "Do you know what I am passionate about, Clary?" he asks, but quickly answers his own question before I have time to respond. "I am passionate about plans, and sticking to them once you've made them. I am passionate about people keeping their word. Plans have been made Clary, we can't - and I won't, simply scrap an album because you aren't 'passionate' about it."

"Right yes, I understand that Sir. What I propose, is that we release Heartbreak Hotel as an EP; five songs. We don't tour it. We can do another album - one that I'm sure everyone will be happier with, and tour that instead."

"Do you know how much organisation, preparation and money goes into organising a tour Clary? Or even an album release at that!" he says, starting to get angry.

"Yes Sir, I understand. But no information has been released yet. There is still time to change plans." I plead.

He pulls his phone back out, done with the conversation. "I'm sorry Clary, but there is simply no way-"

"I can offer you other things. Things I know you want." I say quickly, desperately.

"Like what?" he says, looking up from his phone.

"If you let us produce Heartbreak as an EP, and don't make us tour it, then I'll make sure it includes the song I sang at my mother's funeral. The entire song. The song that a thirty second video of is currently going viral - being played on gossip sites, and fan accounts - I think I even saw it on the news once. It's been a week and it's still the biggest video on the internet."

He clearly looks intrigued by the idea, but I can see that he's going to need more.

My insides feel queasy as I say, "and... I'll do an exclusive interview. You can chose who, when and where. I'll answer any questions they have about my parents, about my past."

I can see him running it though in his greedy head - and I think I've sold him, when he says, "I'm sorry Clary, but I'll need more than that. So if that's all you have to offer…"

"Kit and I are dating!" I say desperately. It's slipped out of my mouth before I can really register what I've said, but I can see that it's done the trick. "I'll let you tip of the paps about our first couple of dates. I'll tell you where we're going, and when we'll be there."

I don't feel guilty about withholding the fact that I'm currently talking about our last album, or the fact that I'm lying about Kit's and my relationship. Kit'll understand - he'll probably love playing it up for the cameras. I do, however, feel insanely guilty about selling out my parents. I just hope they would understand why I have to do it.

"If you make us produce Heartbreak as a stand alone album, and tour it, I will refuse to talk about my parents in any interviews, you will not own the rights to my mothers funeral song, nor will you ever hear more of it than you already have. And I'll make sure Kit and I are completely out of the public eye. Not to mention the resentment I will show this label for the rest of my career, and I'll do everything in my power to stop new artists from signing with you."

I'm about to add that if he forces us to do this album, that it'll be the last album we ever do with this label, but he caves before I have to do that. Apparently, I can be pretty persuasive when I need to be.

"Fine. Heartbreak will be an EP. You will do a small press tour for it, and the next album will come out a few months later. The specifics will be arranged by my people. You will sign a contract affirming everything you have said at this meeting today."

I hold out my hand for him to shake, and as he leaves the room, I hold both my middle fingers up and shake them aggressively at his back. I may have had to give up a bit more than I want, but at least we don't have to tour heartbreak.

Kit and I are sitting the footpath of a restaurant, which we chose deliberately so that lots of people, and more importantly, paparazzi, can see.

"So how does it feel to actually get to go on a date with the wonderful _Kit Rook_?" Kit asks.

"I think it gives me the same _rush_ you get every time you look in the mirror," I say sarcastically.

"Well then, this must be a pretty big deal for you. I've had to stop looking in mirrors as frequently as I used to, because I waste too much time getting lost in my own eyes." Kit says very dramatically.

"I can't believe you just said that," I say, laughing, and throw a napkin at him.

He catches it easily, and opens it up, tucking it into his shirt as our food comes. We keep talking and discuss different things about the tour and concerts and stuff. It's easy to talk to Kit, and I almost forget that we are meant to be fake dating. I'm sure lots of people will look at pictures from this 'date', and just assume we're here as friends.

I grab Kit's hand, and start playing with it. He gives me a funny look, when I say "remember", and he suddenly realises that we're meant to be on a date.

Still playing with his hand, I say "honestly, thank you for doing this. Jace and I just need a minute to sort everything out, and we don't need every man and his dog giving their opinion on our relationship."

"You know I would do anything to make you happy Clary." Kit says, sincerely.

"I owe you one big time - seriously, anything you need, just say the word." I say. "But can I ask you one more favour."

"Name it," Kit says.

"I don't want to lie. So if someone asks if we're dating, just kind of shrug it off, or change the topic - people will take that as a yes, but it'll mean we never have to lie."

"Noh I get that, I would feel bad about lying to all the fans as well. And it'll make us look like massive assholes if we come out one day and say it was all fake." Kit says.

"I have something to tell you. I feel really bad, so you have to promise not to get too angry." I say. Kit just nods, so I continue. "I used your dad. To help me track down Jon. I don't know any other PI's, or really if I could trust any others. I was desperate."

"I'm not mad," Kit says, and upon seeing my disbelieving face, he says, "no really." He takes his hand out from in between mine and starts stroking patterns on top of one. I mentally laugh at the matching callouses we have - evidence of years of playing the drums. "So long as you gave the old man hell for me."

"Oh trust me, he's never gonna want to do business with me again. I've probably managed to convince him that early retirement a good idea."

"Maybe then he would come to one of our shows." When he sees what must be the pitying look on my face, he says "oh piss off - it's not like your brothers come to any shows. We're in exactly the same boat here."

"Guess we're both just a little fucked up," I say, laughing.

"I'll drink to that!" Kit says, raising his water glass.

We have to be at the stadium in a little while, so we pay the bill and leave the restaurant. I notice a bunch of paparazzi snapping pictures just before we get in the cab, but just in case the hand holding isn't enough, I quickly kiss Kit on the cheek.

"I guess they got the money shot then," Kit says, smiling down at me.

Once we get to the stadium, Jace is already there, talking with Alec. I also notice that Simon and Izzy are talking in the corner, but decide to stay quiet about it for now.

"I pass the boyfriend baton on," Kit says, once Jace has noticed that we've arrived.

"So, tell us, how was your first date," Alec asks, amused. Jace comes behind me and wraps his arms around me, and I lean back into him.

"It was… normal. I don't know… It's Clary!" Kit says.

"Yeah… it just felt like a normal lunch." I feel Jaces arms tighten a little bit, "nothing romantic about," I add, looking up at him. He kisses my forehead, and everyone in the room starts whooping and cat calling, and I can't help but smile. Jace and I may have only just started officially dating, but being in his arms feels as natural as joking around with Kit.

"You wanna do something tonight… after the concert?" Jace asks.

I nod, excited that we can finally be casual about everything. "We can meet up after and then just head to my house or something?" I ask.

"Sounds perfect," he says, but I can hear a hint of something in his voice… maybe nervousness. I decide to just question him on it later. Magnus tells us that we have to get ready, so I regretfully untwine myself from Jace's arms, and head off to do the show.

Once Jace and I are back at my place, each with a drink and some food, I go to turn on the TV, but Jace grabs the remote. He takes a deep breath before saying, "Clary, you've been so brave and honest with me… about everything with your parents and your family. I've never really told anyone about my own family. Izzy knows bits and pieces, but that's about it. I guess I justified never telling you because I wanted to focus on you and your parents, and give you a chance to start to heal, but in reality, it's just because I was scared. I've never really had the confidence to be vulnerable in front of people, but with you… it's different. I feel like I could tell you... I _killed_ my parents and you would try and find a silver lining."

"You didn't kill you parents did you," I ask with fake concern, trying to make him more comfortable.

"No, no… they're both still alive." He says, still tense.

"Jace you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. I don't expect you to spill your whole history just because I did." I say, with a slight smile.

"I know you don't expect me to. You don't expect me to be anything but the best version of myself I can be. I need you to know about this… for me as much as it's for you." He says, truly looking me in the eye for the first time tonight. I nod, telling him to start when he's ready.

He takes another deep breath, before starting. "It was my father who pushed me to be an actor. From a young age he set up gigs in ads and TV shows. Eventually, when I was around seven I made it to movies, and that was like hitting the jackpot for my dad. He would take the majority of what I made and spend it on whatever he wanted… drugs, alcohol, hookers. He's always been an asshole, my dad. I genuinely cannot remember one good thing he did for me, that was _for me._ Luckily, I actually enjoyed acting. My dad wouldn't have cared either way, so long as I was making money for him. The one downside to dating you, is that you are exactly the type of person my father would want me to date. You're famous, good looking, have good connections… he wouldn't give a shit about what a great person you are, or everything you've overcome. That's, I guess, part of why I was so willing to accept this whole Kit plan… I guess I'm just not ready for _darling da_ to know about you yet."

"Jace…" I say, not really knowing what to say.

"Wait, I'm not done yet…" he says, not harshly, "Anyway, I think what made everything worse is how he was with my mother. I love her, obviously, and I tried everything I could to help her… but was only a boy. She has depression, you see. She would just lay in bed for days… I would try everything I could to get her to eat, or take a shower… but she was never interested. And _Stephen_ \- my dad, didn't care. He was to busy spending the money I earned him. I've tried to get her out, obviously - to get her into a hospital… just away from him. But she won't have it. He'll be horrible to her everyday of the month but the last - and for some reason she only focuses on that one day…"

I can see how upset talking about it all is making him, so I grab his hand, and it seems to bring him back to earth.

"I just, needed you to know… Feels good, someone else knowing." He says, with a look that breaks my eyes.

"Do you think there's anything we could do… anyway to help her?" I ask gently.

He shakes his head, "I've tried… everything. I think she would like meeting you though. My dad would to. Maybe you could somehow shock some good into him."

"Well, I'd be honoured to meet her. And if you want me to meet your dad, then of course I will." _I would do anything for you..._

* * *

Well, there is some of Jace's history for you. If there is anything you want to see in the story, or a song you want in it, let me know and I'll try and include it. Have a great week :)


	30. Chapter 30: The Fake Proposal

**Chapter 30: The Fake Proposal**

Hey guys, thanks for coming back and reading the story. Hope you enjoy this update :)

* * *

 **Clary POV**

"Can we just finish this fucking thing!" Alec yells, and Simon and I snap our attention to him. Alec never swears and rarely yells, so he must be serious. Simon unlocks the closet door, and Kit dramatically falls to the ground.

"Free at last!" he sighs.

"Well it's not like it's your first time in the closet…" I say, making my way back over to Alec.

Kit just mimics me, obviously not having a good response. I look at the pieces of paper that are laid out on the table.

"We just need one more song," Alec says, coming and standing next to me.

"Ahh, we don't actually." I say, pulling paper from my bag.

The guys all look over at me intrigued, and I put the piece of paper on the table. They all read the title of the song, and then look up at me in disbelief.

"There's no way this is going on the album," Alec says.

Panicking a little, I say, "Look, I know it's not the best thing I've ever written, but I've fixed it up. Added more verses, a stronger melody - I even made it a bit upbeat to bring something new to the EP."

Simon is looking at me, calculating, "you never did tell us Clary, how you convinced Starkwhether into an EP. Last we spoke of it, he was completely against the idea." I can tell he knows this song is part of the deal, but I can't let them know that yet, so I quickly think up an excuse.

"You know, once it got down to it, and I told him how uninspired we all were… he just, agreed." I can see that none of them believe me, so I quickly move on. "Me wanting to do this song has nothing to do with Starkwhether. I've never been able to write about my parents so directly, but… everyone knows about my parents now. This is my way of moving on. I want to do a song about my parents..."

"Yeah but Clary, _this song_?" Simon asks, "You couldn't have written a new one?"

"Really, with all the changes I made to it, this sounds like a new song. Come on, like Alec said - 'let's just get this fucking thing done!'" Alec smirks at me, and takes the pieces of paper from Simon's hands. He reads over it all quickly.

"It looks good, but does it sound good?" Alec asks.

I simply nod at him. Here, in front of these guys is the only place I am comfortable to feel fully confident about my songwriting. We all head into the recording booth, doing each bit quickly, kind of sloppily, but whatever it takes to get the 5 demos sent to Starkwhether before 5am. As we all head off to bed finally, I feel queasy with the guilt about selling out my mother, but I know it has to be done. That doesn't help the feeling, though.

We all wake up around midday the next day, completely exhausted.

"We should celebrate! We just finished our first, and definitely crappiest, EP!" Simon says, very enthusiastically.

"I don't know what we're going to do. We're going to be the laughing stock of the music industry." I say, flopping back into bed.

"Oh yes," Kit says in his best snobbish, critics voice, "look at the little youngins attempting to show their feelings. Where is the rock, no one cares about all this… _heartbreak._ "

"Clary, it's going to be fine – sure the EP isn't our best work, but it's not bad. People will like it – trust me on this one. Nobody can hate anything with my lovely voice singing."

"Fine, fine – now about this celebration, I think it's a good idea. Even if it's not good, we _did_ just finish an album!" I say.

"And we've nearly finished the tour. I _do_ agree - this calls for a celebration." Kit says, slowly sitting up with the worst bed head ever. I laugh at his appearance, before suggesting we go to the beach.

"Why not! It'll be fun - and we never go to the beach anymore." I say, pouting at Simon, who looked like he was ready to turn down the idea.

"I was thinking something that involved booze… maybe a party. Definitely something more fun than the beach."

"We could have a picnic," Alec, who is still laying down with his eyes closed, suggests. Kit looks at Alec in disbelief. "I just don't think it's the best idea for us to go to any parties right now - when we haven't actually finished the tour yet. You can do all the partying you want in a few weeks."

"I think a picnic is a splendid idea," I say in a posh accent. "And let us not forget - I'm not 21 yet, so you would have to leave me behind. _And_ … a picnic would involve lots of food." At the mention of food, Simon and Kit both agree. We pack all the food we can find and end up with an odd assortment, but head off to the beach regardless.

We're all laid out on the beach, soaking up the sun, and valuing every minute we finally have to relax, knowing that it won't last long. After a while, Kit pulls out a football and suggests that we play.

This is followed by the normal argument of who has to end up with me on their team.

"Look, I played with her last time - that is the only reason I lost. I love you Clary, but I'm not dealing with that again," Kit says while walking away from me.

"That was years ago! C'mon, I'm not that bad." I say, look at Simon to defend me - or at least say he'll play with me. Instead, he points at something on the ground next to Kit, and walks over to stand next to him to 'inspect' it.

"I'll play with you Clary," Alec says, almost sadly, and slowly walks over to me.

"Thank you, Alec - I promise you, I've gotten better! Jace likes football so I've been watching the games with him. And you know what, a lot of those NFL players a _pretty nice_ to look at, so it's not hard to pay attention"

Alec nods in agreement, before saying "just don't let Jace hear you say that."

Alec and I do end up losing, but I put all of the blame on Alec - how could he expect me to catch a ball from that far away while Kit, who is like, a foot taller than me, is standing right in front of me?

"Well, all that winning has made me hungry!" Simon says, plopping down next to the picnic basket. He pulls out the packet of peanuts and leftovers from the night before and starts eating.

"When are you ever not hungry?" Alec asks, taking the peanuts from him.

"Look, I haven't had as much time to eat since writing that goddam EP has taken up every spare second we have - I'm making up for lost time!" he says, taking a massive bite out of the cold hamburger.

"Be thankful it wasn't a whole album." Kit says, laying down in the sand next to me, "speaking of… will you tell us _now_ how you managed to change Hodge's mind about the album?" I look over at Kit who is looking at me sweetly, blinking his eyes quickly.

"Smooth transition," I say. I suppose they are going to find out sooner or later… "Fine. I just - promised him a few things. And left out some… _minorly_ important details."

"What, like agreeing to give him 'Two of Us'?" Simon says a little harshly.

I can't look up at any of them as I nod.

"Clary-" Alec begins, but Simon cuts him off.

"What else." I didn't expect Simon, or any of them to get this angry.

"Umm… just an interview," I say, still looking down at my hands.

"What kind of interview," Alec asks.

"About my parents," I say quietly.

"When, with who?" Simon asks.

"I don't know yet - Hodge gets to decide everything about it. But I think it'll be good - you know, finally get to talk about it all."

"You've always been a horrible liar Clary," Simon says. "You don't have to do all of this for us. For a stupid album."

"Well it's done now, and honestly I don't mind speaking about it… it's just…" I say, looking out at the water.

"What?" Alec asks, coming and sitting next to me.

"I feel like I'm selling them. I'm using what happened to my parents for gain…"

"Clary, I think they would understand. It's not like you sold the story to become more famous. Or that you talk about it at every given opportunity. You did everything you could to keep their privacy. It got out - it was going to eventually. And now they are helping you make your life a little easier. I think that they would like that they can still help you, even though their not here." I look over at Alec who wipes away the single tear that fell.

"There's no need to cry anymore Clary," Kit says, sitting on my other side, "everything's going to be okay now."

I rest my head on his shoulder and we all watch the sunset over the water.

Suddenly, Kit asks, "is that all you agreed to?"

I look at him, and see the mischievous smile that must be on my face as well.

"I may have told him we were dating," I say, "and that I would tip him off to the location of our first few dates…"

"Well then, we best make sure we give him exactly what he wants…" I can practically see him planning how to use this to his advantage.

As if Kit had planned it, there are suddenly flashes going off behind us, and we all turn to see a few paparazzi taking photos of us. Kit quickly jumps up, pulling me up with him. He pulls me over so that we can be easily seen by the paps, and, still holding my hand, gets down on one knee.

"Clary Fray, for the past few days I've had the honour of being your fake boyfriend. Would you now do me the honour of accepting this non-existent ring, and be my fake wife."

I can hear Simon laughing behind us, and can see a lot of flashes in the distance, clearly eager to capture the pose Kit and I are in.

"It would be my honour," I say.

Kit pretends to open a ring box and slip a ring on my finger and he gets up and hugs me. He then turns to Simon, who gives him a congratulatory hug.

I go over to Alec to 'show' him my ring, holding out my hand as we admire the blank ring finger.

Although he is trying not to laugh, Alec says, "you know Magnus would hate this right. Anytime he sees any of us posing for the paps he gets mad."

"What Magnus doesn't know can't hurt him," I say, as Simon and Kit come over to us.

"He's going to see the photos eventually," Alec says.

"Oh shit, you're right." Kit says. I look at him confused. Kit has never really been concerned about annoying Magnus - in fact, he goes out of his way to do it.

"Well, Magnus is going to be pissed he missed the proposal!" Kit says, answering all of our confused looks.

Now, Alec can't hold in his laughter.

* * *

Song mention: Two of Us by Louis Tomlinson

Hope you guys liked that. Do you enjoy the story when it has a bit more drama, or like just this cruise sort of thing? Let me know! Hope you have a great week.


	31. Chapter 31: Everything Has Consequences

**Chapter 31: Everything Has Consequences**

Hey guys, I'm back! I've been in a bit of a rut lately coming up with chapter ideas. I knew where I wanted the story to go, I just wasn't too sure how to get there, and I feel like I've been producing kind of boring chapter because of it. Lucky, I had a big break through and was able to plan out a ton of chapter, so they will hopefully start to get a bit more entertaining for everyone. This chapter was written before I had that break through, but I still think it's kind of cute. Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for sticking with me, and I hope you enjoy what this story has to bring!

* * *

 **Clary POV**

"This is the fifth public date the couple have been on in recent weeks." Kit reads from the magazine. "The pair do not seem to be slowing down after rumors were sparked of their engagement. Rook was caught on one knee holding Fray's hand on the beach along with fellow bandmates: Alec Lightwood and Simon Lewis. While no ring has been spotted on the singers finger, Fray has been known to lead a very private life. Could the lack of an engagement ring be just another cover up? Months ago, it was revealed that both of Fray's parents were tragically killed in separate incidents, leaving the young singer without a family. Fray is yet to speak publicly on the issue, however her label has been hinting at a possible interview on the subject in the future, before the release of the band's EP. Could Fray, only 20, be making a head start on making a new family? An inside source reveals that she will do anything to have a family again. 'The pair have already begun discussing plans of children. They want to get started right away.' Another inside source has revealed the pair have been dating for years, and have only just begun to go public with the relationship.

"Kit! When were you going to tell me we were having children?" I ask, as he throws the magazine onto the couch.

"Right around the time you were going to tell me that we started dating years ago. Years Clary! I'm sorry to admit it, but I've been cheating on you pretty badly."

"I'm sorry to tell you, but I'm cheating on you right now," I say, and turn to Jace who is giving me a slightly concerned look. I kiss him on the cheek, and snuggle closer into him.

"You'll get used to it eventually," Alec says to Jace, sitting down next to Kit.

"Well, at least your 'relationship' is driving sales." Simon says, "Hodge must be happy."

"You know, I thought I would feel guilty about this whole thing - you know, lying to people about the relationship, but I really don't. Not that I've actually been lying to anyone, but there's definitely some deception going on here."

"She's becoming more like you everyday," Alec says to Kit. Kit smiles around the room, looking happy. "That's not something to be proud of."

Simon opens up the magazine and keeps reading the article. "Clary has, however, also been seen frequently with former co-star Jace Herondale. Herondale broke up with his girlfriend, French model; Camille Belcourt, months ago, and has supposedly been flying solo since. Has Clary clinched two of the best looking blondes in Hollywood, or are they really just good friends, and the pair insist. Could it all just be publicity for the upcoming movie? Whatever the answer, the band's concerts have become the hottest ticket in town, getting rave reviews from critics and fans alike. _Royals for the Night_ are just about to finish their fourth world tour, selling out stadiums around the world. It seems the only way is up for the young band."

"Wow Clary, I would never think that you would use people to drive sales." Simon says, "absolutely shocking."

I just roll my eyes in response to Simon, and nestle further into Jaces chest. I shut my eyes and just breath in his scent, but before I get a chance to have a nap, Jace shakes me and tells me that we have to go if we are going to make it our interviews on time.

We arrive at some studio where Jace and I are quickly whisked apart so we can each get dressed and get our hair and make up done, ready for the interviews. I arrive at the interview room to see Jace already there, scrolling through his phone. I sit down next to him, and look over his shoulder has his phone.

"Are you seriously texting Alec, you left him like, an hour ago!" I say, surprised.

He quickly tells Alec that he has to go, before turning to me. "What's it to you?" he says, playfully.

"Nothing...nothing," I say, trying to play it cool.

"Is someone… jealous?" Jace asks, trying to push my buttons.

"Not at all, I think it's cute that you two are friends - I guess I just didn't realise how close the two of you were."

"Don't worry, you'll always be my favourite. Even if I _did_ take an online quiz that told me I belonged with Simon,"

I give him a confused look.

"Yeah, I'm secure with my masculinity like that."

"Uh huh - is that why you _made_ me paint your toenails the other day?"

He doesn't get a chance to respond, as someone comes over and tells us how the interview will work, and tells us the little intro we have to say, and hands us a bunch of boards.

They tell us that have started recording.

"Hi, I'm Clary Herondale," Jace says

"And I'm Jace Fray," I say

"And this is the Wired Auto-Complete Interview," Jace finishes.

"How Clary Fray..." Jace reads off the first board "got famous. How did Clary Fray got famous?"

"Well, I was in a band, and we were playing at a college, and we got scouted. Shortly after that we got signed, and then picked up by… Mumford and Sons to open their American tour and then we gained a lot of popularity after that."

"How tall is Clary Fray."

"Look, physically… I'm a little person. I'm 5"3 - even that may be pushing it. Mentally and... spiritually however, I'm like a solid 7 feet tall baby."

"How Clary Fray sings" Jace asks, starting to laugh.

"I'm not really sure how to answer that… I suppose I sing frequently. I have a vocal coach, and I practice lots…"

"I think the answer is that Clary Fray sings very, very well," Jace says.

"Enthusiastically…" I agree. "Right, should we move onto the next board? Who is Jace Herondale."

"Who is Jace Herondale? I can answer that for you right now… he's a super good looking, extremely nice, amazing talented and terrifically _humble_ actor. I think it's crazy that someone would even need to ask that question because everyone knows me… and everyone loves me."

"Right then, now that he has that out of his system… Who is Jace Herondale in _One Last Summer_?"

"I play a boy named Peter, who has just graduated high school. He is best friends with this one over here," he points his thumb in my direction.

"Who is Jace Herondale dating?"

"I'm dating my girlfriend… I mean obviously, what kind of a question is that… who else would I be dating?"

"Who is Jace Herondale's manager?" I ask, trying to move on quickly, but not seem suspicious.

"My manager is the lovely Isabelle Lightwood. Unfortunately she has her hands full with me right now… but we'll let you know if she's looking for more clients in the future. Next board!"

We go on answering questions like this for around half an hour which is actually really fun. We have another interview a few minutes down the road so Jace and I go to the lobby of the building to wait for our car to take us there.

"Who knew so many of those questions would be about our dating life." I say

"Yeah well… it's supposedly what people are googling about us, and I suppose people are just super interested in the intimate details of our personal lives."

"Is that right, super handsome, nice, generous, humble man… or whatever you call yourself."

"First of all: I didn't say generous, so thank you for that, and secondly: it's not only what I call myself, it's what I am. It's a way of life."

"Whatever you say…"

The car comes and a few minutes later we're getting ready for our next interview, which is some sort of friendship test which is meant to prove our level of friendship. They seperate us first, and say that they are going to ask us some questions that can't have any influence from the other person. While Jace is being asked his questions, I go on my phone and text with Luke while I have a chance. Our last two concerts are in Madison Square Garden so Luke is coming to both, but I never have as much time as I want with him when I'm in New York. We eventually plan that he can just come super early and hang out with all of us during the day. Jace is only going to be able to come to our first concert, because he has a bunch of meeting on the last day, and has to go out to dinner with some big time producer. (He told me that he had tried really hard to move the dinner but couldn't, and that it was just too important to miss.)

Jace comes out of the interview room with this dreamy sort of smile on his face, which only gets bigger when he see's me.

"Someones in a good mood," I say, standing up to meet him. He looks around quickly, making sure nobody is in the room, before wrapping his arms around my waist. "Just wait till you get in there and I'm sure you'll be in a good mood too." He quickly kisses me before letting me go so that I can go and answer questions.

"Hey Clary, so we're just going to be asking you a few questions about you and Jace's relationship, and then he'll come back in here and you guys will do a couple of activities and then you're good for the day."

"Sounds great, thanks."

"Okay, so we… are… rolling. When was the first time you and Jace met?"

"Officially, the first time I met Jace was… about four years ago. It was one of the first award shows that I had gone to, and I was so awe struck by everyone around me that I was freaking out… I would've been like, 16 maybe. Anyway, I met Jace on the red carpet and we said hello really briefly. I was freaking out because he had been in a movie that I had just watched which I loved and I had this massive crush on him. Oh God… he doesn't know that… I doubt he even remembers that. But we actually like _meet_ meet on the set of this movie: _One Last Summer_."

"And how has your relationship with Jace developed since then?"

"Well, I guess I got like a kinda rough first impression of him then… he was already so famous and he lived in this fancy house in L.A., and he was just so confident about everything that I thought… maybe he would be like, stuck up and a bit… too cool for school - or for me at least. And I mean all the articles and stories written about him didn't help. But I couldn't have been more wrong. Now that… we actually know each other, and have had time to… learn about each other, I found out that he is nothing like that and it is just unfortunate that he had that sort of image painted of him. He's actually very genuine and quite down to earth… it's just, not everyone gets to see that side of him. It also helps that I don't freak out every time I see him… you know we can actually have a conversation now because I'm not obsessing over the fact that I'm talking to him at all."

Jace comes back into the room, and just like when he came to me before, I can't help but smile at him. Thinking about how big of a crush I used to have one him… and now the fact that we were actually dating, and really cared for each other was really cool.

"Okay guys, so in this section we're going to get you to stare into each other's eyes for three minutes. You can talk to each other if you want to, but you don't have to. Whatever you're comfortable with."

We start off the three minutes silently, just looking into each other's eyes. When I first met Jace, it used to throw me off how _golden_ his eyes were. Like the sun was captured in them. As I began seeing him everyday, I got more used to it. But now, just staring at them again, I can really appreciate how beautiful they are. They were this deep golden colour, with this extraordinary mixture of light and dark brown flecks through them which gives them amazing depth. For the first time in ages, my fingers itch for a sketchbook rather than a guitar. I keep staring for a little while, just getting lost in the complexity of his eyes, wishing more than anything that I could lean forward and kiss him, before Jace complains that his neck hurts. Leave it to Jace to make a joke about my height right now. To humor him, I stand on my tippy toes, and when he sees this, he bends his knees a bit, so that our eyes are now level. I stick my tongue out at him.

"Real mature," he says, still looking in my eyes. They have a different look in them now, like before he was thinking similar things to me, but that he's snapped out of it once he remembered where we are.

"Just like your short joke," I reply. "God, I've never realised how long three minutes is before." Truthfully, I could stare all day into Jace eyes, but I needed to make up for the googly eyes I was surely making at him a moment ago.

Jace just nods slightly, and his look deepens again.

"Alright, that's three minutes." The lady says. We continue looking into each others eyes for a moment, but Jace suddenly looks over at the lady, and I realise that we're in an interview, and that we had decided we weren't letting people know we were dating. I shake my head quickly, clearing it of any thoughts I may have been having about Jace.

"So how did you guys find that experience?" she asks us

"It can be a bit… hard, looking at Clary for that long - when she looks at you, she's really looking at you, you know."

"Yeah, I feel like I could understand Jace a bit better just by looking into his eyes. Maybe I'm just looking straight into your soul?"

"Okay, so now you're going to be writing compliments about each other," she hands us a notebook each, "you can have as long as you need to write them, and then once you're done, you'll be reading them to each other."

We both sit down on the floor to write. Jace even rolls onto his stomach with his feet kicking in the air while he writes. He keeps looking up at me, and then quickly begins writing again.

After like, ten minutes we're both finally finished, and we both stand back up ready to read our compliments. For some reason, I'm really nervous. Jace has always been really good with words… whereas I need time to figure mine out, and they're usually are for a song, or just my own private thoughts. I also hate getting compliments.

Jace volunteers to read one first. "Clary, you are one of the most generous, kind hearted people I think I'll ever meet. You treat everyone equally and with so much warmth, and you give everyone 100% of your attention. I don't think you have a mean bone in your body."

I smile back at him, and take a deep breath before beginning. "Jace, you are... wholly devoted to everything you do. When you set your mind on something, nothing can stop you from achieving it. You put blood, sweat and tears into your work, and it's truly inspiring to see someone _that_ devoted to making sure that everything is as good as it can be."

"You are, handsdown, one of the most talented people I have ever met. You can play probably more instruments than I can name. I was blown away by your acting abilities when we first started working together… yeah man… there's nothing you can't do."

"You have this great, child-like quality about you, where you can make any situation more fun and something that everyone wants to be a part of. You don't let anything really get you down, and it's just really refreshing to talk to you after a long, hard day because you'll help me see the bright side of everything, and make me feel like sunshine and daisy's again."

"You treat everyone you meet with so much respect, that it's helped me change my attitude to something I'm a lot more proud of."

"You have got to be one of the most charismatic people I have ever met. I'm pretty sure it's impossible not to like you."

"You are an amazing chef, Clary. Whether you are making dinner, dessert, breakfast… anything, it's always delicious."

"You actually have a really nice voice, which is something I didn't expect of you."

"You have an amazing taste in music. I've started listening to a bunch of your playlists and some of the music you listen to literally makes me feel different. You've helped me to appreciate music for the art that it is."

"You tell the best stories. I don't know if it's just because you seem to live life a little harder than the rest of us, so you can tell better stories… or if it's just your voice."

Jace shows me his peice of paper which has, 'really fucking sexy' written on it, and I instnatly laugh and start to blush.

"That one said… cool hair," Jace says, while thoroughly crossing it out, so nobody can read it. "Oh, and you're super humble. I mean, look at you trying to accept all these compliments, it looks like it's physically hurting you."

I go even redder when he says that, so I cover my face, while laughing.

After I cool down for a couple minutes, the lady asks how we found that experience.

"I think it was really cool. I think these sorts of things all the time, but I never really have the guts to say them, so sitting down and getting the time to sort of think them all out and then actually getting to say them was… a really cool thing to do," Jace says.

"Yeah, I totally agree. It made me appreciate having Jace in my life even more… and I'll try not to take him for granted anymore. And I guess… it also makes you feel good about yourself. I'll be riding on a high for the rest of the week!"

We finish the interview, and I have to head to the arena for our show tonight. I'm sitting in the car, thinking of everything Jace said, and I can't hide the smile from my face, and catches on to what I'm thinking.

"There's so much more I wanted to say… but just couldn't."

"Oh yeah, like what?" I ask.

"Don't go getting greedy… I'll let you know one day."

I huff and turn towards the window, but Jace slides along the seat and grabs me from behind and starts kissing my neck and I scream out in surprise. He whispers in my ear, "the way I can make you scream is one of them."

* * *

Thanks for reading everyone! Please feel free to review with any story ideas you might have or want to see - I'm always happy to work them in! Have a great week :)


	32. Chapter 32: Falling Apart

**Chapter 32: Falling Apart**

Hey guys, thanks for coming back again! I hope you're enjoying the story so far, and I hope you like the chapter.

* * *

 **Clary POV**

"One week left, biscuit," Magnus says as he shakes me awake, "up you get now."

I sit up in my bed and see that he has gone to wake Simon up, in not nearly as nice a manner. I swing my legs over the side of the bunk, and watch sleepily as Magnus wakes up Alec. I notice that he does this in a similar fashion to how he woke me up. I had been noticing more and more that they always seemed to arrive places together, or that they would have hushed conversations. I smile at the thought that maybe they've found happiness with each other, but don't ask them about it. I can respect that people want their privacy.

Suddenly, Magnus claps his hands, informing us that we have our final business meeting for _Heartbreak_ today before our concert, so we have to get up and ready quickly. I slowly get up and manage to get some clothes on before heading into the hotel to meet with some executives.

To make a long, and boring meeting short - we have a month before the EP is released, with _Two of Us_ being released in two weeks and _Lie to Me_ being released in three. We also have between now and then to film music videos for those songs,and get the official recordings for _Infintiy, Girl Crush_ and _Just a Little Bit of Your Heart._ We also have to do our final press junkie, which is mainly on talk shows.

They also told us that they expect us to start writing the next album now, as the release date for that will be brought way forward due to us not touring anything.

I can't even think about anything outside of this tour. The effort of doing everything at once I think might literally kill me, so I'm planning on taking everything one day at a time. I'm honestly surprised that I haven't gotten sick some time on this tour. It's almost like my body knows it just has to finish its job, and then it can all fall apart.

"Unfortunately Clary, you've also got another talk show junkie with Jace for _One Last Summer_ ," Magnus reminds me.

"Of course I do. Hey just remind me, why did you let me do this movie again?" I ask.

"I believe it was something along the lines of 'broadening your horizons, not wasting time and becoming a more rounded person - plus you said you'd figure out how to get the role alone if I didn't help you." Magnus snaps back.

"Thanks for jogging my memory," I say shyly as I sit down.

"Look, at least most of your upcoming interviews are with the James Corden and Jimmy Fallon types - people we're friends with!" Simon says, trying to find the bright side. "I mean, hopefully they shouldn't ask us too many personal questions."

"You still haven't done the interview that you promised Starkwhether though," Kit points out.

"I'm sure he's going to do it right before _Two of Us_ is released - get everyone hyped for the song." Alec says, and I can't help but agree. Hodge has found yet another way to sell me, and he's taking full advantage of it.

"Okay well, should we start planning the next album? I mean, it's the last one - at least for a little while. We need to make it special." Simon says, moving on swiftly. He may have been angry at me before, but I think he's starting to see that there wasn't really another way. And what I did only hurt myself.

"It needs to be good vibes - after all this depressing bullshit we're about to produce." Kit says.

"I agree," Alec says, "I think it should be something people can listen to when they're feeling down."

"Especially with us not producing music together for a little bit - it can be something they listen to when they're missing us to pick up their day a little bit," I agree. It seems we've learnt from our mistakes, and we're not going to let the label push us into doing something we don't want to do again.

"Okay well, I'm glad you all agree. I was thinking about this during the meeting," Simon says.

"You were meant to be listening!" Magnus inturps.

"Okay... what's done is done. You can fill me in later," Simon quickly replies.

"I most certainly will not - I'm your manager, not your personal assistant!" Magnus says, outraged.

"It's okay Si, I'll fill you in later - what were you saying?" I cut in, trying to dissolve the argument before it really picks up.

"Right, well - I think we should come full circle. Our first album was called _Once Upon a Time_ …" Simon says.

"So this would be… 'Once Upon an End'?" Kit says, trying to rile up Simon again, who just rolls his eyes.

"I think he was getting at something like 'Happily Ever After'," Alec clarifies.

"Yeah - it would tie in with our first album, and kind of create a story when you put all of our albums together: Once Upon a Time, Here We Go Again, Never Coming Down, Heartbreak Hotel, Happily Ever After. It's the story of a band who got together expecting the world, and got it and got to keep living their dreams. They were so high up that they thought nothing could bring them down, but then they get their heart broken, but eventually sort things out." Simon says, getting really excited.

"Plus it would tie in with band name - you know _Royal For the Night-_ this band is our fairy tale…" Kit says, catching on to the idea.

"I don't know… isn't a bit cliched," I say, sceptical of the idea. "I like the idea of the album being good vibes and uplifting people - that's what I hope our music can do, but… Happily Ever After - how does that work for us?"

"Well it could be a cool juxtaposition - the title of the album would allude to one thing, and the message of the music would support it, but the genre of music would be unexpected - we could vere away from pop and back to what we started with?" Alec says.

"Look at you using big words!" Simon says.

"I mean, I _did_ graduate high school." Alec says.

"If you're implying that I didn't… I don't want to be lumped in with these two dropouts over here!" I say. I worked hard for that diploma - I want some credit.

"Look, you're only required to finish sophomore year - Simon and I did that!" Kit says, outraged that anyone would be questioning his intelligence.

"I _really_ don't think that's true." I say, concerned.

"Anyway, can we get back to the matter on hand!" Simon says, snapping us all back into attention.

"Look - we haven't even started writing the album yet! Shouldn't we do that first. Who knows, maybe there's a really cool song title that we could use. If not, then…" I say, trying to end this argument. Last time I was pressured into agreeing with the guys it was for the documentary, and that didn't exactly work out very well for me. But they have given up a lot for me… so maybe I should just give in.

"Okay, okay fine…." Simon says, giving in. I'm not sure if he doesn't want to fight, or doesn't want me to feel pressured again.

"Should we start writing tonight? There's no time like the present!" Alec says, trying to work in as much enthusiasm as possible.

I want nothing but to fall into bed tonight and sleep off the concert and day, but know that I can't argue with them on this point.

"I'll see you there," I tell him.

Honestly, thinking about everything that's coming up makes me feel sick, but I push the feeling away, knowing that we just don't have time for that now.

 **Simon's POV**

I push the leg off my chest, and the arm off face and then get out of bed. Clary and Kit are still tangled together, in a pile of arms and legs I assume I was part of a minute ago. Alec somehow has his own section of the bed which is untouched by everyone else.

I begin brewing some coffee, which wakes Clary up, and she slowly raises, her eyes still half shut with her hands out. I put the mug of coffee in her outstretched hands and she takes a sip.

She nods her head appreciatively, her eyes still not fully open, but a smile now on her face. I make a cup for everyone else and slowly wake them up. We all sit on the edge of the bed, slowly sipping at our coffee waiting for the caffeine to hit our brains before we can begin the day.

"What time did you end up finishing?" Alec asks Clary. Kit had fallen asleep first, and then I had. Apparently Clary was the last one left working - as usual.

"Around 2.30 I think," she says, her voice comes out really hoarse, but it's probably just because she only just gotten up, and would've been singing last night. SHe starts coughing trying to clear her throat.

"We has some good stuff going." I say, looking around the room at all the sheet music.

"Yeah, Clary and I managed to finish those two songs you had been working on, so we got like five or six songs out of last night. It's a good start." Alec says.

Clary is coughing and still trying to clear her throat, but her voice just comes out weaker and more hoarse each time. She goes to the bathroom and coughs something up. When she comes back out, she's looking kind of pale, but with really flushed cheeks. She looks like she's about to faint, and sits down on the ground with her head in between her legs.

I sit down on the ground next to her, while Alec goes to get Magnus. I put my hand on her back, and it's obvious that she's got a fever. After a little bit, Kit and I help her over to the bed, and she falls back asleep almost as soon as she's settled.

Magnus and Alec comes back a little while later, and says that the hotel doctor is on their way.

"Clary almost never gets sick," Alec says, looking at her concerned.

"Do you think she'll be able to go on tonight?" Kit asks.

"We'll just have to wait and see what the doctor says." Magnus says softly. He's always had a soft spot for Clary.

When the doctor comes, Clary wakes back up. When she tries to talk, and it only comes out as a high squeek, he gives her a notepad and pen to write on so she doesn't have to talk. She tells him that she's had a headache and sore throat for a little while, and then before she went to bed last night her chest started to hurt, but she assumed it was just because she was tired.

"Well, it seems like you've just got a chest cold at the moment, but if you don't do anything about it could turn into something much more serious," the doctor says. "I'm going to prescribe you with some antibiotics, and ask that you stop taking any probiotics you may currently be taking. You are also being put on bed rest, and shouldn't talk for the next couple of days so your throat can heal."

She looks at me with pleading eyes. "Will she be able to perform tonight?" I ask, knowing that's what she's wondering about.

"Look it isn't recommended. At the end of the day I can't stop her from doing anything. If she is willing and able to, then I guess. I get that it's important to her - but she should definitely rest for as long as possible before the concert. If it were my call, you would be on total bed rest for the next couple of days."

"Thank you," I say, and get the antibiotics from the doctor.

"We'll let everyone know that you can't come to interviews today - I know you'll be sad to miss out on that biscuit," Magnus says, lightly pinching Clarys chin.

She smiles back at him, and writes out 'concert?'.

"We'll call it later tonight. Like he said - if you are willing and able, then sure."

I can see by the look in Clary's eye that there is no way she isn't getting up on that stage tonight.

As we head out to let Clary rest and head to the interviews, I can hear Clary coughing. It doesn't sound too good, and I'm sure she's been holding it in so we wouldn't get too concerned.

As predicted, Clary is warming up around an hour before the concert. her voice has pretty much come back, although it is still a bit rhaspy. I can see she is getting more tired than usual, and honestly don't think she should be going out tonight, but I know she'll pretty much attack me if I say it.

During the concert, I can tell that Clary is struggling. She loses her breath much quicker than she usually would, she doesn't move around the stage nearly as much as usual, and she always chooses to go for the lower, easier note. During _Shiver_ she gives me a look and shakes her head, and I know that she can't sing anymore, so I sing by myself.

When we head off, I can tell that Clary is really disappointed with herself and her performance.

"Hey, you did amazing okay. You're sick as a dog and you still crushed it out there. Don't be hard on yourself - I know that's virtually impossible for you, but try," I say.

"I-I…" Clary tries to respond, but no noise is coming out when she speaks. She quickly wipes a tear away, and I realise how much pain she must be in.

I pull her into a hug, and I can tell she's trying to hug me back hard, but just doesn't have the energy for it.

"Stay here for a minute, okay, then you can go back to bed," she nods, and leans against the wall.

I walk over to where everyone else is standing. "I think we should all take the night off. We have ages to write and plan. Clary isn't doing well and she'll feel guilty if were all working and she's just sleeping."

Everyone agrees that it's a good idea. "Hey Magnus, do you think you'd be able to get Clary some pain killers? She can't talk at all, and she won't tell anyone, but she's in a lot of pain."

"I'll see what I can do." Magnus says, walking off, already dialling a number.

I walk back over to Clary, turn my back to her, and bend down a bit. "Jump on," I say. She does jump on and I slowly carry her to the car, and then up to her room. I used to give Clary piggy backs all the time when we were younger, but as she got older and I kept growing, and she didn't she said that I was mocking her height. All she would do after that was sit on my shoulders when we were in the mosh pits at concerts - but we haven't been able to do that for a long time.

I gently lay her in her bed, and she falls asleep quickly which I'm happy about.

I quietly shut the door, and head back to my own room. I shower quickly, and then sit on my bed and look at my phone for a minute.

I grab it and call Izzy.

"We've got the night off - come to my room?" I say.

"Okay, I'll be there in a few." Izzy says, and then hangs up the phone. Izzy and I had casually been seeing each other for a couple of months now, but decided not to tell everyone so it wouldn't be a big idea.

Izzy knocks on the door and I quickly let her in. She pounces on me straight away.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed it! we've got some potential couples now other than Clary and Jace, so I hope you're excited for those - there's much more to come in the next few chapters! Hope you have a great week :)


	33. Chapter 33: The Ups and Downs of Life

**Chapter 33: The Ups and Downs of Life**

Thank you to everyone who has reviews this story. I'm up to 85 now, and every single review makes me smile. Special shout out to Carissa Campbell, who has reviewed so many times, I've lost count - it really helps me actually want to write and gives me heaps of cool ideas! I hope everyone enjoys this chapter :)

* * *

 **Simon POV**

After a little while, Izzy and I are laying in bed. It's almost weird when we do normal couple things.

"How's Clary feeling?" Izzy asks.

"She'll be fine - she's a fighter." I say. "But, I don't want to talk about Clary right now."

Izzy rolls onto her side so she can look at me, "what did you have in mind then?"

"We've been doing this awhile, and it's been fun. But I'm thinking that maybe it's time that we make it official. I really like you Iz, and I… I want this to keep going. But I don't like the hiding, and lying."

Izzy smiles, and I swear my heart skips a beat. I lean forward and kiss her. "Let's make this official then," Izzy says.

"Isabelle Lightwood, would you blow the minds of millions, and honour me by being my girlfriend?" I ask, actually nervous for some reason.

"I thought you'd never ask," Izzy says, leaning forward and kissing me again. "And really, I don't think I'm _that_ out of your league."

"Maybe all my tattoos even us out a bit," I agree, "should we tell everyone tomorrow? While we're all still together and before the tour ends?" I ask. She nods.

"Last concert tomorrow. You excited?" She asks.

"Relieved. I'm exhausted - we're all falling apart. I love being on tour, but this one's just seemed so much harder than all the rest." I say, running my finger through her hair her hair.

We keep talking for a couple of hours, until Izzy says she has to go back to her room.

I walk her back, and kiss her, before shutting her door to finally go to sleep.

Unfortunately, I see Kit in the hallway who has just seen that whole interaction. He holds up his fingers in the okay symbol, and pulls some ridiculous face, all of which I translate to: 'nicceee'.

I quickly walk up to him, "you can't tell anyone about this okay. We're telling everyone tomorrow, and I know Izzy wouldn't want everyone finding out because you can't keep you big mouth shut."

"I will admit: I am a _bit_ of a gossip. But your secret's safe with me, bro." he says.

"Bro?" I ask.

"Yeah, I'm trying it out. What do you think?"

"I think you shouldn't say it again."

"Whatever… wow. You and Isabelle Lightwood," he says, like he's still processing it.

"What about it?"

"No… good on you. I'm just… surprised that you could land her."

"Why? I'm good looking, in a super famous rock band, cool, a nice guy. Why wouldn't she go for me?"

"I have never, nor will I ever use your name and cool in the same sentence. Unless it was: Simon Lewis is not cool. I'm just shocked she didn't go for all this," Kit says, while indicating his body.

"Maybe she likes humble, down to earth guys?" I say.

"Perhaps, because that is the only thing you'll ever be better than me at. Being humble - who needs to be humble anyway?" Kit says.

How he lands as many girls… and guys, as he does… I'll never know.

Kit still looks sceptical, Clary looks really excited, Magnus looks like he's known for ages, and Alec looks kinda angry. Honestly, these are the reactions I had expected.

"I totally did not see this coming! I am in complete and total shock. How could you not tell _me_ ; your your _best friend_." Kit says over dramatically.

"First of all, Clary is my best friend - second of all, it's quite clear to everyone now that you found out in the hallway last night, so thank you for that," I say.

Clary is still on vocal rest after the concert last night, but she jumps up and hugs me first, and then Izzy. She then walks over to Magnus who is already talking about how we could have a joined wedding. Jace shakes my hand, weirdly formal, before telling Iz that she could do better. It was one thing when Izzy said it - but is she really that out of my league!

I real reaction I was scared of is Alec. "You treat her well Lewis - I have a key to your house, I know your schedule and I can easily get past your security guard. If you make her happy, then we're good. I don't think you want to know the alternative"

"I get that you have to say that as her big brother, but as my friend what do you think?" I ask, worried.

"As your friend, I'm glad that you can make each other happy. As her brother, I know that she can probably hurt you just as well, if not better than me - so you need to watch yourself. Oh, and don't let her cook - it could just be your end."

Izzy slaps him on the chest, but is looking at him lovingly.

"So, tell us the details!" Jace says rather excitedly. I look over at him confused. "I'm speaking on behalf of Clary today - would it help if I used a high pitch voice: _So, tell us the details_!"

"We've been seeing each other for a couple months now, and thought it was time that our friends knew" Izzy says. "It's nothing massive yet - no wedding bells" she says, directed at Magnus, "but we're both really happy." I kiss her on the temple.

Right then, Luke walks in, and Clary quickly runs over to him and hugs him really tight. The excitement causes Clary to start coughing, and Luke looks down at her concerned.

"She's sick - and stubborn. She's supposed to be on bed rest." I say, walking over to Luke, who promptly also gives me a big hug.

"If Clary's known for anything it's being stubborn. Which doesn't mean that I agree with it," Luke says, directed at Clary, who has finally recovered with a bit of help from Jace.

"Hello Sir, I'm Jace Herondale. I'm… um… Clary's boyfriend." Jace says, holding out a hand for Luke.

"It's good to finally meet you Jace. Call me Luke! Clary's told me a lot about you… _mostly_ good. We've got some catching up to do everybody - including you Jace. It's been ages since I've seen you all."

I'm riding on a complete high for the rest of the day, being able to just hold Izzy's hand, or kiss her whenever I want is amazing.

Magnus tells me to go get Clary so she can warm up for the concert, but I stop outside the door when I hear Jace talking.

"Jesus Clary - you're sick. Really sick, and I can see it's hurting you. I get this is the last concert, and you want to do it, but it's not worth it. It'll make you so much worse. It's like you don't even care about yourself."

"I'm fine," Clary says, as strongly as possible, but i'll admit - she's not a great advocate for herself. Honestly, I don't want her going on tonight either, but it's not my call.

"Do you not see that when you hurt yourself, your hurting me too? Or do you just not care? God, I knew you could be stubborn, but I didn't think it would ever be this bad." Suddenly, his voice goes soft - something I've never heard before. I'm sure that nobody but Clary has heard this before. "Can't you please just listen to me. Please don't go on tonight. I don't… can't see you get hurt."

"I'm sorry…" Clary croaks out.

"Whatever - I have a dinner that I have to go to, so I guess I'll see you back at the hotel after the concert. Or maybe not - maybe you'll decide you're well enough to go to the after party."

Jace storms out of the room and runs into me. He looks at me for a minute, before he says, " _you_ try talk some sense into her - maybe she'll actually listen to you," and then storms off down the hallway.

"Is it any use trying to convince you not to do this concert." I ask Clary, sitting down next to her.

She looks up at me, exhausted and with a small smile, and then shakes her head.

"Well then, you've gotta come warm up," I say and stand up, holding out my hand for her to grab.

Clary may be putting up a tough front, but it's obvious how much she is struggling - way more than last night. She eventually has to swap back with Kit on the drums, because she can't sing at all and looks like she's struggling to stand up. It's clear that she's trying to give this show everything she's got because it's the last show of the tour, but it looks like it's killing her.

At the end of the show, when we're all standing across the stage, arm in arm, Clary is relying a lot on me to help hold her up, and when she says 'ave atque vale,' no noise actually comes out.

We all leave the stage, and Clary is almost fully relying on me to stay upright now. I look over at her and she's gone really pale, and I'm trying to slowly lower her to the ground so she doesn't fall if she faints, but she keeps insisting that she's fine, and is trying to pull away from me. Luke begins walking over to her, but before he can make it, Clary falls forward, and doesn't wake up.

Alec gets off the phone with Jace, and informs us that he's going to be here as soon as he can. We're all looking at Clary through a window into her hospital room, where Clary is laying in bed with Luke next to her. She has an oxygen mask on, and still hasn't woken up since she fell at the concert.

"She'll be okay, right?" Kit asks me worried.

"She'll be fine - it's Clary. She's our little fighter. She's not going anywhere." It's unspoken between us that we've all lost enough people - losing Clary would be the last straw. I don't know what I would do without Clary. I close my eyes and pray that she'll be okay.

A doctor comes to us, to tell us about Clary. "She's going to be okay. She's got pneumonia and strep throat, and she over exerted herself tonight at the concert. I'll clarify with Miss Fray when she wakes up, but I assume she has had some trouble breathing for the past few days, and the rigorous exercise meant that she wasn't getting enough oxygen, which caused her to fall unconscious. She'll wake up in due time, but it's highly important that she rests. We'll be keeping her here for the next few days to monitor her, and to ensure she doesn't overwork herself anymore. I believe she should wake up very soon.

We all turn back to Clary. She puts so much pressure on herself to perform and seem fine for everyone watching, that she pushed herself too far. Maybe now she'll listen to us in the future. I want to get angry at her for how bad she let this get - but that doesn't really look like what she needs right now.

Jace runs into the hallway, yelling for Clary and looking genuinely panicked. Almost as if hearing Jace's voice makes her better, Clary wakes up.

Luke quickly makes sure that she's feeling alright, before getting up to go find the doctor. Jace walks into the room without talking to any of us. There is a symphony of emotions on Jace's face. I never realised that he could feel all those things before. I mean, sure, I didn't mind the guy. But I completely thought Clary was with him because he was good looking, and a bit funny. Apparently he can feel every emotion for Clary.

I don't actually hear any of their conversation, as Alec pulls us away to give them privacy, but I can't tell if he is going to yell at her or cry. Maybe he'll do both.

* * *

Well, that's this chapter, and the end of their tour! Clary's got a big chapter next week, so I hope you come back for that :) Have a great week!


	34. Chapter 34: The Big Interview

**Chapter 35: The Big Interview**

Hello! Thank you for coming back. I hope you all enjoy the chapter! I've done this one in Alec's POV but I'm not sure I really get into it enough, so let me know if you'd want some more of it, which is actually about Alec! Hope you enjoy the chapter.

* * *

 **Alec POV**

Clary is sitting on the couch across from an interviewer. It's easy to see how nervous she is - she's looking around the room and can't seem to focus on anything, is fidgeting and playing with her fingers, but it's like she doesn't notice that she's doing it. Finally she looks over at us and smiles. She does look like she's become a bit calmer, but is really just trying to put a front for us. I grab Magnus' hand, and quickly squeeze it before I let go. It seems to be a rare moment that Kit, Jace and Simon aren't all squabbling with each other. No matter how many times I told them stop, now that they actually have it's unsettling.

A few minutes later, the interview starts.

"Hello, my name is Sophie Scott, and today I have the honour of hosting an exclusive interview with one Clary Fray. It's lovely to have you here, Clary"

"It's… good to be here."

"Now, I'm going to be forward with you. This interview does surround the topic of your parents, and the recent reveal of their deaths. It might get uncomfortable, and I just want you to know that we can stop whenever you need to take a break."

"Thank you,"

"Let's get into it! The reveal of your parents death… left something to be desired. What was your reaction?"

"Uh… I guess when it was happening, I was shocked. I had gone so long, that I didn't really think of… I didn't think it could happen that way anymore. After I had, um... understood, I guess, what had happened, I was angry. At the interviewer of course, but at myself as well. I had become complacent - I didn't think it was a threat anymore. And then I was scared, and knew that I needed time to get over everything that had just happened, and accept it, I guess."

"And you took that time. After the reveal of your news, people had quickly realised that you had disappeared."

"Yeah," Clary says, with a small laugh.

"Why?"

"Like I said, I needed time to accept everything that had happened and understand the changes that were going to come. I didn't think I would be able to do that well, or at all, in the public eye. I've always _liked_ having privacy, but this was a time I knew I _needed_ it."

"Obviously this isn't the way you would have wanted the news revealed… how would you have done it, if you had the chance to go back."

"Ah yeah, it definitely wouldn't have been like that. I have been thinking about that. For… five years, I held this secret from almost everyone. And up until it was actually revealed, I could never figure out an appropriate way to do it… nothing seemed… g-good enough. And the more I think about it, I think that nothing was ever good enough because I never wanted to do it. I always found an excuse that justified not telling… in all honesty, I wish my secret was still mine. So I guess, to answer your question - there is no way I would have preferred to do it."

"Why, why hold onto this secret?"

"There's a lot of reasons. I didn't want people to associate me with being an orphan first - or at all, I guess. I didn't want people to put my success down to other people feeling sorry for me. I am successful because of my talent, and the hard work I put in. I don't want people to pity me, or feel sorry for me, or treat me differently. And, until… everyone knew… I had never really faced it, never really _had_ to face it. So I guess admitting to the world that my parents were… no longer with us… meant admitting it to myself as well. And it meant dealing with something that, for so long, was too difficult and painful to deal with. If I could go on pretending to the world that everything was fine, then… I could… tell _myself_ everything was fine."

"So, you're saying that lying to the world meant you could lie to yourself… how could you do that?" her tone wasn't judgemental, but an odd mix of curiosity and sadness.

"It was the music. I could throw myself into it, and into work and all the rest of it and forget that my parents weren't alive anymore. For years, I've lived… I make myself tired enough during the day that I literally collapse into bed at night, and my days are so packed that there is barely enough time to get it all done… so it meant there was no time to think... think about my parents, to grieve my losses - especially my mother."

"So the music helped you?"

"The music saved me. I was something that I could grab onto with both hands to keep me floating. I can say honestly - if everything had been the same: the timing, the bands success, my parents deaths, the guys being in the band, and the only difference was that I wasn't in the band…" I can see her pause decide if she should say what's coming next. I almost don't want her to, because I'm afraid of what she's going to say. But Clary's always been braver than me.

"I would've sunk. There would be no life raft… nothing to keep me afloat." There is a pause at the enormity of that comment. Clary had been feeling this for God knows how long, and she had never said anything. "As it was, I was depressed, I had anxiety, I suffered from eating disorders… and that was with the good choice - with the life raft. The band… the guys and the fans - it meant I had people relying on me. People that would I hurt if I was gone. I felt that pain, I was living with it everyday - I didn't want to pass it on to anyone else. I used to have this theory that - like energy, sadness cannot be destroyed, just passed on in some other form. So, if were to…sink, then all the pain I felt would be passed onto others, and as horrible as it was, living like that, I knew I was saving other people from the same fate. The pressure is what kept me going and the music is what made it worth it. But I'm happy now. And, music is still my life, but for different, and much better reasons. "

"Oh Clary. You've been so strong for so many years… suffering in silence. You have got to be one of the bravest… most compassionate people I've ever met."

"Thank you, but I'm not saying all this so that people like me more, or feel sorry for me. I'm hoping that by sharing my story… it can help people. If my saying this helps even one person, then it's worth it. If anything, I feel guilty, because maybe I could've helped more people if I came clean earlier. "

"You have acted as a great role model for people of all ages and genders. You have nothing to feel guilty about. People should be proud to be your fan."

"Thank you," Clary says, not knowing how to accept the compliment.

"Since the news about your parents has come out, a lot of people have been going through your older music, trying to figure out if any of it relates to them. Can you reveal any hidden secrets?"

"Oh for sure a lot of our earlier music relates to them. I've never been one to say what I think a song means, because I like people being able to find the meaning that they resonate with, but if I had to say one song… probably the biggest is _Never Enough_. I mean almost everything in that song is about everything I was feeling then. God, I was so angry - at the situation, and everyone around me, and my parents, and at myself. But it's also about how, if I could do enough, that... I thought it would make parents proud then I could just… stop living, give up. And how, I couldn't face going to their graves. And how, because nobody knew what was going on in my personal life, everyone expected me to stand there and smile, but for the longest time that was so hard… just to smile. And it just made me feel like shit when I was alone."

"And the end of that song… 'Don't tell me your sorry, you're just sorry for yourself. And though you may seem fine alone, I want to be the one to help.' What's that in relation to?"

I can see that Clary is debating on how to answer the question, before she makes up her mind and smiles. "Another thing a lot of people don't know… is that I have a brother. He didn't move to L.A. with me… But what those lines are about… it's kind of, me having a conversation with two different people. When it's your parents at a funeral, and everyone is coming up and telling you how sorry they are, it's hard to accept it as genuine - especially when I haven't seen or heard from the majority of those people since the funeral. So that's the 'don't tell me you're sorry'. And the second part is kind of talking to my brother, saying… I assume he's like me, and he's trying to be brave and happy in front of everyone, but when he's alone it all comes crashing down. It was kind of a call to say we could help each other, because nobody else _really_ knows what we're going through."

"And just one more question, which I don't think actually has a lot to do with your parents, but rather is just a question I've been dying to ask you… probably since your first concert. What's with the whole 'ave atque vale', that you say at the end of each concert?"

"It means 'hail and farewell'… particularly to someone you love or respect. So I say it at the end of each concert as a sort of goodbye to everyone. It's actually most commonly used in the military, to say goodbye to a soldier who has passed on. So, I've always kind of thought about it as acknowledging my dad at each concert, telling him I still love him and think about him."

"That's really cool. So, the band newest single, _Two of Us_ , will be released this Friday. What can you tell us about it."

"Well it's an... updated version of the song I sung at my mothers funeral. It's one of five song that will be featured on our upcoming EP _Heartbreak Hotel_. I think this song, in the scheme of the EP, is a reminder that it doesn't take someone you're romantically involved with to break your heart - anyone you really care about can do it. And that there is always a way to look at the past to help push you into the future."

"Is it freeing to be able to be that… on the nose with your music now?"

"I don't know how much I'll do it in the future. I think I've done that music, and it's time for me to move forward and start writing about my life now, and just how… happy I am. But guess yeah, it is cool now… that I don't have to try and mask that relationship."

"Is it your favourite song on the EP? We've already heard _Lie to Me_ , and _Two of Us_ comes out tomorrow."

"Ummm… I'm not sure. I think it's between _Lie to Me_ and another song on the EP which hasn't been released yet. We've been so busy lately that I haven't really had time to sit back and think about which songs my favourite."

"Well, the past five years have maybe started to catch up with you. You were in the hospital not long ago. How are you feeling now?"

I'm glad that the interviewer has seemed to move on from her parents. At least Hodge seemed to choose someone with a bit of respect. I look over at Jace, is still standing completely still and tall, but he's released some of the tension from his shoulders, and his arms are now crossed. I don't know when he stopped biting his nails.

"Oh yeah, that last tour really just took it out of me. I ended up with pneumonia, and a few other things, which is really disappointing because it meant the last few shows were not up to my usual standard. But I had a little while to get over that, and then Jace and I did a final press tour, and now here we are, healthy as ever!"

"Yes! I've already had a chance to see _One Last Summer_ , you have a great performance in it. Is acting something you'll think about pursuing again?"

"Maybe not in the near future. The last few months have been wild, and super fun… but I definitely over committed myself. So I think I'll focus on the band and music for the next little while… but who knows what'll happen in the future. I'd definitely like to give it another go one day."

"Well, speaking of the near future, your twenty-first birthday is coming up soon! Doing anything on the big day?"

"I haven't got any plans… I'm usually still on tour when my birthday rolls 'round, so I haven't done anything in ages. I'll probably be working… as sad as that is."

"Well, I think that about wraps up our time. Thank you for being so honest with me today. Good luck with everything you've got coming up, and happy birthday for next week!"

"Thank you so much for having me," Clary says, standing up to shake the interviewer's hand.

I think I hear everyone let out a collective sigh of relief once the interview ends. I look over at Jace who has a mischievous smile which is gone as quick as it appeared. What is that boy thinking about?

* * *

Song references:

Never Enough - Rex Orange County

Lie To Me - 5 Seconds of Summer ft. Julia Michaels

Two of Us - Louis Tomlinson

I think I've missed some of those in past chapters, so if there are any song you want to know about, just ask! Also, if there are any songs you'd like to see in the story let me know and I can work them in! Hope you enjoyed the chapter, and have a great week :)


	35. Chapter 35: Clary turns 21!

**Chapter 35: Clary turns 21!**

Hey guys, thanks for coming back for another chapter. I know the last one wasn't that action packed, but hopefully you'll all enjoy this one a little more.

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

"Hey Clary, I'm so sorry, but I've got this super urgent last minute meeting that I have to go to in New York, but I promise I'll be back before you wake you up tomorrow," Jace tells me over the phone.

"I could come to New York with you? Go see Luke or something while your at your meeting, and then we could go out after or something?" I say, biting my nail as I talk. I hope he can't hear the desperation as easily as I can.

"Look, you know how much I would love to spend tonight with you, but I'm not going to make you spend your 21st birthday on a five hour plane ride, especially when I don't even know how long this meeting will go tonight. I promise I'll be back tomorrow morning and then we can spend the whole day and night together," Jace says, almost impatiently.

"Okay, I'll-" I begin, but Jace cuts me off.

"Look, I gotta go, Clary. But I'll see you tomorrow, have a great birthday." And then he hangs up before I can answer.

I throw my phone on the couch and watch as it bounces on the ground.

"Who was that?" Simon asks, also staring at my phone.

"Jace. He's not going to be in L.A. tonight - so it looks like I'm spending tonight alone." It's not like I expected anything massive for my birthday, but I was hoping I'd get to spend it with Jace.

"What am I? A piece of furniture?" Simon says, finally looking away from the phone and flopping down on the couch.

"You know what I mean…" I say, realising how bad that sounded. Simon had given up his night to be here - I should be more appreciative.

"Yeah! I heard that whole conversation, and I've got to say - I'm deeply offended. No one's ever taken my presence as a negative before - or simply not acknowledged I was here!" Kit says, walking out of the kitchen with a big bowl of ice cream. Apparently, now that the tour has ended, so has his diet.

"We're happy to be here - and understand why you are a little upset," Alec says, walking in after him.

"You don't think he's mad at me, do you?" I ask all the guys.

"Why would he be mad at you? What did you do!" Kit says, excited to be involved in the gossip.

"Well I didn't _do_ anything. But I know that our whole fake relationship thing bothers him, even if he won't admit it. I can understand why he wouldn't want to spend tonight with me…" I say, laying down and looking at the ceiling. My head is starting to hurt as I hold back the tears - but I will not cry. Not in front of the guys, and not because of Jace. I will _not_ be one of those clingy girlfriends.

"I really think you're reading too far into this. Remember - we were going to hang out with Izzy tonight as well - obviously she had to go with Jace," Alec says. Always the one with the level head.

"Yeah she did - she called this morning to let me know." Simon says, trying to steal some of Kit's ice cream.

So Jace possibly knew this morning, but waited until now to tell me. I close my eyes, willing the tears to go away.

"Do you know where Magnus is?" I ask. I assumed he'd want to spend today with me as well. He said he'd been counting down the days until we had all finally turned twenty one.

"I don't know where Magnus is! Why would you ask me!" Alec says very quickly, and I try to hide my smile.

"I was just wondering..."

Pushing Simon off the couch with his foot, Kit says, "who needs any of them anyway. Alec and I just went to target and bought a shit ton of face masks and ice cream and cookies. We'll have a girls night! We can watch horrible movies and talk about how hot all the guys are."

"Really doesn't sound like a lot of fun to me," Simon says, I think mainly about the hotness comment.

"What, worried their all going to be better looking than you?" Kit says teasingly.

"Yeah I'm not exactly a face mask kinda guy… I thought we were just getting them for Clary." Alec says.

"In what world would Clary ever need that many face masks - think about it Alec. God - for a gay you're such a guy!" Kit says, rolling over dramatically. I finally sit up, looking at the three guys who have given up so much to make me feel better - the least I could do is stop whining over Jace. Like he said - I'll see him tomorrow.

It's around 10.00pm when the Notebook finishes. Kit and I are cuddled together sharing a packet of oreos while Simon and Alec are sat on different couches occupied with their phones. I definitely both saw them enjoying the movie, though I know they'll never admit it. I can't help but feel that the whole night has been a little anticlimactic - Jace, Kit and Izzy had all been telling me for ages about all the great things we could do once I finally turned twenty-one, but right now this feels like the sort of night I would have had when I was fifteen. I mean, we're not even drinking!

I hear my phone ring, but decide that work can wait for tomorrow - you only turn twenty-one once, right? Simon, however chucks me my phone and I see a photo of Jace on the screen. I quickly jump up and hurry to another room. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but I feel like Jace is going to tell me that he's on his way over and this was all one massive prank.

"Hey," I say, noting how enthusiastic my voice sounds with some embarrassment.

"Hey," Jace yells, over a bunch of people talking and music. Where is he? "My meeting took a turn - we've ended up at some nightclub. Look, I was just calling to tell you that I forgot to tell you about your present. It's hanging up in your room. Go check it out - you should wear it if you go out tonight." Then someone yells something at him, and he starts replying and hangs up. I mean, at least he's thinking of me.

I go to my room and see the most gorgeous emerald green dress hanging up. I run my fingers over it, and the material runs through my fingers like water. Looking at it, I'm sure Izzy picked out the dress - but Jace it's nice to think that Jace made the effort to surprise me. Who knows? Maybe Jace has better fashion sense than what I give him credit for.

I hear the guys calling out my name and I yell back, telling them I'm in my room. They all come in and see the dress and give each other knowing smiles - of course they helped with this.

"Look okay - we may have been lying to you a bit tonight," Simon says.

"Yeah, Jace told us to take you out and have a good time - we probably just carried on for a little too long." Alec says.

"I got invited to the opening of this club - Pandemonium I think it's called. We could head there if you wanted?" I look back at the dress and nod. Even if I can't spend the night with Jace, I can still make it memorable.

I then see just how in on the plan everyone was, when Alec goes out to his car and has bags with clothes for all the guys to change into. I punch Simon on the shoulder for not telling me soon. Usually, I'm able to pick up when he's lying. I must just be off my game tonight.

It takes me a little while to get ready, but we eventually head out around 11.00. The whole time we're in the car Simon is on the phone. I assume he's talking to Izzy or something - I wonder if he misses her as much as I miss Jace. When we get to the club, I see that it's buzzing with a lot of really high profile celebrities lined up to get in.

"Who even owns this club?" I ask Kit, confused how it gained this much traction on its first night.

"Some guy with a lot of contacts, I guess," he replies. I start heading to the back of the line, but Kit grabs my hand and drags me to the front where the security guard is. Once he sees us, he lets us in without any questions. As I'm walking in, a bunch of people are wishing me a happy birthday, and I know something must be up. Why or how on Earth would Ed Sheeran know today is my birthday - it's not like we're particularly close friends.

Once I get inside, I get lead straight up to the stage and I know something is definitely happening, I just can't figure out what. Once I'm on the stage, the DJ yells out that the birthday girl is here and everyone starts cheering. I'm so overwhelmed looking down at all the faces. Some are friends I've made over the years, other's are people I've looked up to my whole life.

I hear another cheer, and I see Jace coming onto the stage, wheeling a massive cake along with him. I should have known he would have something to do with all of this. Everyone starts singing happy birthday, and I'm sure that I've gone red. I blow out the candles but don't need to wish for anything - this is perfect.

He leads me off the stage, "happy birthday Clary. I'm sorry I've been acting like a dick all day - but I had to make it believable." He says, wrapping his arms around me.

"You didn't have to do all of this just for me!" I say, leaning into him.

"Clary, when will you understand that it'll never _just_ be you. I could throw you parties bigger than Gatsby every day, and it would still never compare to how you make me feel. You deserve the world - and everyone here tonight agrees with me."

"Your perfect, you know that," I say.

"You know, an alarming number of people have said that." Jace says, smiling down at me. I've only ever seen him smile like that at me - and I'm glad. I may have to share almost everything else with the world, but that smile will always be mine. I lean up to kiss him, but he looks to the side, and smiles at someone who's come up to talk to us.

"What?" I ask him, as he continues dancing.

"There's a photographer here, and so many people. We can just wait till later tonight." He says gently, unable to look at me.

"I don't care about any of that. The point of the whole fake relationship thing was that it was a cover story while we figured everything out. I don't know about you, but my minds pretty made up. I don't have anything left to figure out."

He smiles down at me, and then leans down, finally kissing me. Eventually, regretfully, I pull away.

"You look amazing by the way," he says, running his eyes up and down my body "You know if you really wanted to thank me… I can think of a few ways, you know… just off the top of me head."

"We'll see about that," I reply. He looks down at me with all of the love in the world. I stand on my tippy toes and whisper in his ear, "There's _nothing_ I wouldn't do for you. But we'll wait till we get home to do the _really_ fun stuff." Something about the way Jace looks at me makes me more confident than I've ever been. I've been on a stage with thousands of people screaming my name, but nothing compares to that look.

"Clary…" he begins says, his voice all husky. He quickly coughs and looks around to see if anybody has noticed how flustered he's gotten. Lucky for him, only I see, and only I know how easy it is to unravel Hollywood's 'bad boy'.

I dance, drink and sing the night away. I get to catch up with people I've met over the years, and meet so many people I've idolised for so many years. If fifteen year old me was told that even one of these people would come to her twenty-first birthday she would never believe you.

At around six the next morning, Jace and I leave the party, which is still raging inside. When we get home I live up to the promise I made Jace… twenty-one is going to be a good year.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed that chapter! Think of your favourite celebrity... yes! They were at Clary's party - that's how big it was. Anyway, the next few chapters have some drama so look forward to those. Let me know what you thought of this chapter, or if you want to see anyhting in future chapters! Have a great week :)


	36. Chapter 36: The Video

**Chapter 36: The Video...**

Hey guys, thanks for sticking with the story :) Hope you enjoy the chapter!

* * *

 **Izzy's POV:**

"Who knew little Clary Fray could move like that!" I say, watching the video, which is currently going viral.

"Oh, turn it off Iz! I don't need to see it again. I saw it in real life and nothing, and I mean nothing, will ever get rid of that image." Simon says, quickly turning away from my phone.

I laugh at him, and just turn the volume up so he's forced to listen to _Touch-A, Touch-A, Touch Me_.

"I'll never be able to watch that movie again without stirring up the image of Clary virtually giving Jace a lap dance. Why she felt necessary to do that at all, let alone at a party for her… I'll never know. Jace is clearly a horrible influence on her." Simon says, looking around the room, possibly looking for something he could go beat Jace with.

"Well, one things for sure - it's going to be much harder for Jace and Clary to hide their relationship now." I say, sighing at the mess they've made.

"Well, judging by that video… I don't think they're trying to hide anything anymore. Otherwise, I have no idea how Jace has made it this far as an actor."

"Subtlety has never been his thing... She's going to have to be careful… I know this is just one article but she's already being labelled as a cheater. And people are _not_ happy she was doing this while Kit was in the room."

"Something tells me Clary won't care… she's been called a cheater before..." Simon seems as if _he_ cares quite a bit.

"There was never this much proof before… and anyway - this will be a serious blow to her reputation as the 'innocent' singer."

"Innocent has never been a world I would use to describe Clary. I'm sure she'll handle everything just fine." Simon says, though he doesn't sound sure. "Now can we stop talking about this… I want very much to move on and not picture my best friend trying her hand at a career in stripping."

"Oh so it's okay when I do it but-" I start, but he quickly cuts me off.

"That's completely different!" Simon says, with the biggest smile on his face. Clearly, I left a lasting impression.

"Oh. How so?" I ask.

"Because you didn't do it in a room full of people on your twenty-first birthday… And it was happening to me, not Jace."

"Right, well I'll remember that for next time." I say, getting off the couch.

Simon eagerly follows me, "there's going to be a next time?" I can practically see the drool running from his mouth.

"Who knows… I wouldn't want to bring up any images you find… disturbing."

He flops back down onto his couch, disappointed and saying something under his breath, right as my phone starts ringing.

"Look I have to go, but I'll be at your big press conference okay. I'll see you later." He quickly kisses me, before falling onto the couch again and turning on the TV.

"See you, babe." Simon says.

"Babe?" I question.

"I was trying something out… I'll keep working on it."

"This is Isabelle Lightwood," I say, answering the phone, laughing a little bit.

"Izzy, it's Clary."

"Oh hey Clary, how are you," I say. I'm trying not to laugh, but I can only imagine what's going on with her and Jace at the moment.

"Have you seen Jace today?" she asks.

"No, I've been with Simon all morning, why? I assumed he would be with you. Didn't you go home together?"

"Yeah we did, but when I woke up he wasn't there and then I went online and saw all those videos and… I don't know what to think."

"Okay well, I'll call him and figure out where he is. I know he'll be at your press conference though, can't you talk to him there."

"I wanted to sort things out before. I saw one article that said he was all tame now… and that he used to be Hollywood's bad boy, but since meeting me he's become boring. I don't want him to go and do something stupid to try and prove them wrong."

"What are you afraid of him doing?" she doesn't seriously think he would go and cheat on her, does she. I've know Jace a long time, and he's done a lot of stupid stuff in that time… But Clary has somehow changed him. I see the way that he looks at her, and I know there isn't anything he wouldn't do for her. I look over at Simon who is laying on the couch and sigh.

"Well there was this video… I think it was from a couple of years ago. There were like 3 girls dancing on him… and he's just kinda sitting there. And then that stupid video of me is after, and he's so into it, and everyone's saying that he was overwhlemed and didn't know how to handle it. You don't think he would go to a strip club or something do you… I don't really care if he goes, I just don't need it to be everywhere. I don't want to be made a fool of." Clary says, and I can see where she's coming from. That stupid video took ages for him to get over. His publicist was close to having a heart attack.

"Okay, Clary. I'm going to call Jace. I'll find out where he is, and I'll make sure he's at the press conference. And I'll make sure nothing gets out, no matter what he's doing. But Clary, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just concerned for Jace." She says quickly, sounding distracted.

"No I mean… your kind of being accused of cheating… and it's so… different to how you usually are - it's going to have an effect."

"Oh, I don't really care about all that. I've talked it through with Kit… he's pretty happy that the whole thing is over. Jace and I decided last night that we could be official now… everything's actually going pretty well. Or it _was_ , I guess."

"Okay, well I'm glad. I'll call Jace and keep you updated."

"Thanks Izzy, and say hi to Simon for me!"

She hangs up and I call Jace straight away. I don't need a repeat of that other video. He picks up quickly which is a good sign.

"Hey Izzy. Can you just hold on for a second." I hear him talking to some man, and he pays $500 for something, and then he picks the phone up again.

"What did you just buy? It fucking better not be drugs Jace Herondale or I swear to God-" I begin, but he cuts me off.

"Stop your threatening, woman. _Why_ would I be buying drugs?" He asks, and I can just _see_ his eyes rolling.

"That stupid video was relaesed, and I wanted to make sure you weren't doing anything to get your bad boy reputation back again." I say impatiently.

"So I take it you've seen the video?" He says amused.

"Yes I have, and I've talked to Clary, and we're both worried about your reaction."

"Clary's awake. Damn! I was hoping to get back before she woke up."

"What?" I ask, confused.

"If you must know every detail about my life, Isabelle - _I_ was worried about _Clary's_ reaction to the video, so I went out, and I just bought her a massive bunch of flowers, and I was going to get her a nice breakfast and then I would show it to her, and tell her that I don't care what anybody says, she's perfect to me."

"Look at you all mushy. Girls got you whipped! But I'm glad your not buying $500 worth of drugs, or booking out a strip club."

"While that does sound like a fun Sunday morning… it wasn't on my agenda."

"I'm glad to hear it Jace. Clary will be waiting for you wherever you left her. I'll see you later today."

"Bye Izzy." Jace says, quickly hanging up the phone. I text Clary to tell her that Jace is coming home and roll my eyes at the whole situation. It's so high school.

Simon is sitting at a long table on a stage talking to Clary before their press conference starts. He seems to care about Clary so much that I sometimes wonder if he'll ever care about me more. Before I had actually met Simon, Alec had told me that the two were pretty much inseparable. But I see the was that Clary looks at Jace, like he's taken priority in her life - the way I think it should be. Even Alec seems so protective over Clary, in a way that he's never been protective about me. I get that she's been through so much, and there's just this quality about her that means you can't help but like her, but I can't help but notice she seems to gain the affection of everyone I love so much easier than me. I breathe in and out slowly. _Get a grip Issabelle!_ Simon asked _you_ to be his girlfriend, not Clary. And Alec's _you're_ Alec's real sister, not Clary. And you're a Lightwood woman, and Lightwood women never feel inferior.

Jace comes and sits next to me, and has his eyes locked on Clary. She quickly notices him and smiles back, and only once he's lost Clary's attention does Simon finally realise I've arrived. This stupid goofy grin appears on his face, and I can't help but smile back. Despite being a mega famous rockstar, Simon is actually just some geeky kid, who to my knowledge, has never actually had a real girlfriend.

Finally, Kit and Alec sit down on the stage, Magnus joins Jace and I, and everyone hushes down as the press conference starts. The first couple of questions are about the EP, and if their happy with it and their favourite songs and everything. Simon's told me that they all actually hate the album, but you would never guess it with the answers they are giving. They seem so natural, lying to everyone, that I wonder how much they've had to do it before.

Eventually questions move on to the tour, and this is when Alec announces; "due to the length of the EP, we will not be touring _Heartbreak Hotel_ , instead, we will be starting our next album straightaway, bringing forwards its release and subsequent tour." I notice that he conveniently leaves out that that will be their last tour. I'm not sure how many people actually know that fact.

The next question is aimed at Clary and that goddamn video.

"Can I just get something straight?" Simon cut's in, before Clary is able to answer. "We've literally just announced that we're not touring our most recent album, but will be starting the next one straight away and touring that, but what you want to focus on is private matters in Clary's life, concerning things that are none of your business."

The man who asked the question doesn't back down, "nothing's private in your line of work."

"I don't usually talk about relationships, but because I want the accusations of me being a cheater, or a maneater to stop… I _have_ never, and" she looks over at Kit, smiling, "I'm sorry Kit - _will_ never date Christopher Rook. Any rumors about that relationship are solely rumors. Neither Kit or I - nor anyone else for that matter, ever confirmed that relationship. People assumed that, because we were seen together a few time, we were dating. Assumptions don't equal the truth, no matter how convinced you made yourself. That's all I have to say on the matter."

"Clary," Kit says. Everyone is holding their breath, waiting to hear what he's going to say. "You know I hate being called Christopher. How would you like it if I just went around calling you Clarissa." He shakes his head in mock disgust, and a few people laugh.

Everyone else, however, is trying to put two and two together. Eventually, they realise that if she was never dating Kit, then she _must_ have been dating Jace. All hell breaks loose.

* * *

Song Mention: Touch-a-touch-a touch me from Rocky Horror Picture Show

Hope you liked that chapter. Let me know if you want more from Izzy's POV, or anyone elses POV. Also, feel free to review with any questions, comments or suggestions and I'll try to either answer them next chapter, or include them in the story! See you next week :)


	37. Chapter 37: Malec

**Chapter 37: Malec**

100,000 words, 50 favourites, over 100 follows and nearly 90 reviews. I never thought something I would write could be that big. Massive thank you to everyone who has read and enjoyed the story so far. There's heaps more to come, so stay tuned! With saying that, I hope you enjoy the chapter.

* * *

 **Alec's POV**

"Good morning sunshine," I sigh as I slowly opening my eyes.

"Are you talking to me, or the actual sun?" Magnus quickly asks.

"Well I _was_ talking to you, but if you're going to be in such a mood then-"

He quickly cuts me off with a peck on the lips, before sitting up and leaning against the bed head, looking down at me. His hair hangs loosely around his ears, sometimes sparkling in the sun where he couldn't get all the glitter out in his shower last night.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, and he smiles down at me.

"I know you're stressed at the moment - we all are. I think it'll do you all some good to take a break. God knows you deserve it."

I sit up so we're at the same height. "You deserve it as well Magnus. Don't think we don't notice everything you do for us behind the scenes."

"That was a double negative," is all he replies. I roll my eyes before slowly getting out of bed.

"It's seven thrity," I tell him, after looking at the clock. Just thirty more minutes, before we have to go meet everyone and pretend like nothing is going on. "This sucks," I tell Magnus. I've never been a good liar, and it's not something I enjoy doing.

"You're the one who asked me to keep quiet about it. You made the bed, Alexander, now lie in it." Magnus replies sternly. He was never a fan of hiding everything.

"You know why-" I begin explaining.

"I know, I know. People will look at it suspiciously if you're sleeping with your managers, and-" he begins drabbling on.

"I'm doing a lot more than sleeping with you…" I say, cutting him off.

He raises his eyebrows at me in surprise.

"You think if I was just looking for someone to sleep with I couldn't find someone easier. Someone with no baggage, who-"

"Who what," Magnus asks me. I can tell by the look in his eye that he thinks I'm about to insult him.

"Who I don't care about," I reply.

"Then what is this, Alec?" Magnus asks, suddenly tired. "Because I've told you as well, you've got to come clean eventually. I know you're scared-"

"About the way other people will react," I say. I hear myself yelling, so I pause for a minute to get myself under some control, before continuing. "It's no secret that you're older than me, and that you have a certain amount of power over me and my career and I'm afraid that people will… do or say hurtful things, because they think you're taking advantage of me, but I _know_ the truth. I just don't know how to tell them."

"And what's the truth?" Magnus asks, refusing to look at me.

I sit down on the bed next to him again, and grab his chin, so he's forced to look at me. Usually, Magnus is the more confident in the relationship, but something has come over me, and I want to say this now while I still have the courage. I quickly kiss him, before telling him, "the truth is… is that I'm in love you. And not like a school boy crush. When I'm not with you, my heart hurts."

"Oh Alexander… I love you too." The relief I feel when he says it back… I wasn't sure he would, but now I know. I haven't been wasting my time, haven't been setting myself up to break my own heart.

"I quickly pull him down into the bed, kissing him with every emotion I can muster. Somehow we both end up with our shirts off, I pull up slightly, leaning on my elbows, "I love you," I say again. Finally being able to say it freely. Magnus pulls me back down, and I hear a knock on the door in the distance. Magnus looks over at the alarm clock.

"8.05, we were meant to be down stairs five minutes ago," Magnus says sadly, starting to pull away.

"Who cares," I say, "the doors locked. They'll be able to cope without us for another twenty minutes."

I start making my way down Magnus' body, when I hear a familiar voice yell, "Ah shit, so-sorry Magnus."

I quickly spring up and look at the horrified face of Simon Lewis. We quickly lock eyes, and I feel my face flush, before I quickly turns and shoots back out the door.

"Guess the door wasn't locked," Magnus says, amusement written all over his face.

"Did you plan this?" I yell, quickly pulling away from him. He's always wanted to go public with our relationship, even if it was just to our closest friends.

"Yes, Alec, I planned for Simon to come in and interrupt this morning - the morning my boyfriend would finally tell me he loves me. It's exactly how I envisioned the say to go," he answers, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I'm sorry," I say. I guess now we have to tell everyone…

Ten minutes later I meet everyone downstairs in my kitchen. Magnus is still upstairs fixing his hair.

Izzy is fussing with Simon's hair, who is refusing to look me in the eye. Kit is rummaging through my fridge. Clary is sitting on Jace's lap, while they quietly talk to each other.

"Finally - I thought you were meant to be the punctual one," Jace says.

"Actually, that would be Clary," Kit says, not looking away from the fridge.

"Sorry, but what are you doing here," I ask Jace.

"I thought you liked me!" Jace says, dramatically.

"I do, it's just… this was meant to be a band meeting," I say, looking over at Izzy at well, who just shrugs and goes back to messing with Simon's hair.

"Yes well, since Clary and I went public with out relationship the other day, we've decided there is no point not spending time with each other now. I was free, and Clary said I would be welcome.

"Right…" I say, distracted as Magnus finally walks into the living room.

"Did you just come from Alec's room?" Clary questions. I look over at Simon, who turns red again. Apparently he didn't run down here and tell everyone, thank God.

Magnus looks over at me, and I shrug, before nodding. May as well tell them now that Simon knows.

"Indeed I did, biscuit," Magnus says cheerfully.

"May we ask why you came from my brothers bedroom."

I look around at all of them. Simon is still not meeting my eyes, Kit has turned from the fridge, finally interested in the conversation. Mangus is looking at me encouragingly. Only Clary seems to have a knowing look in her eyes. Of course she would have figured it out.

"Magnus and I… are dating." I say. I'm met with a chorus of cheers and congratulations.

"Oh my God! For how long?" Izzy asks.

"It's been a few months now. Before your last tour started," Magnus answers.

"It's been that long, and you never told me!" Izzy yells, outraged.

"You didn't tell any of us," Kit yells from the fridge.

"Could you close the door. The food is going to spoil," I ask. Kit looks me directly in the eye and walks away from the fridge, leaving the door wide open. I roll my eyes before walking over and closing the door myself.

"We decided not to tell you all until it was serious. We probably weren't going to tell you right now, but then Simon walked in on us, and we didn't have much of a choice…" Magnus explains.

"Wait, so is it serious?" Izzy asks, eyeing us both off.

Magnus and I look at each other, "it's serious," I say, not breaking eye contact with him. He smiles, before grabbing my hand.

"Well this is so great. Congratulations you guys," Clary says warmly.

"Thank you Clary," I reply.

"Yeah, now we're all like.. dating each other," Jace says, sounding kind of confused.

"Um excuse me!" Kit says, walking to the front of the group. "Exclusion is a form of bullying, and I will not accept that."

Jace holds his hands up in surrender, before wrapping them around Clary again. Simon has managed to return to his normal skin colour, and looks up at me, quickly nodding to acknowledge me, before turning to Izzy with a warm smile.

I walk over to Magnus, and grab his hand, squeezing it. Nobody freaked out like I thought they would, or accused me of getting special treatment - or had anything bad to say.

Maybe Magnus and I have a chance to be happy. Maybe we _all_ have a chance to be genuinely happy. I thank whatever higher power is out there for bringing all of us together. We may not be perfect, but I couldn't have asked for anything to be any better.

We blow off the band meeting we were meant to have today and decided to spend the day lounging around instead. Clary and Jace leave around midday. Magnus follows them to the door, so he can see them out. When he returns to the couch next to me, I ask him what that was all about.

"I just needed to tell them to not have any more 'Rocky Horror incidents.' You never know with those two," he says, shaking his head.

Eventually Simon and Izzy leave as well.

"You look happy," Izzy tells me.

"I am happy," I reply.

"I'm glad. You deserve it," she says, before hugging me.

"Look, I'm really sorry about this morning," Simon says, sounding embarrassed.

"Just forget about it," I tell me. He smiles at me, so I clarify. "No, literally - _forget_ about it. Never bring it up again."

"You got it," Simon says, looking relieved. Kit follows them out the door, talking about some party he's going to head to, leaving Magnus and I alone finally.

"Hey, I'm going to go shower - I didn't get a chance to this morning, but I'll be back down shortly." I tell Magnus. He just nods, and watches me as I walk up the stairs.

I shower slowly, thinking about how well everything went today, and how it was going to make everything else so much better. I get changed into black jeans, and a navy t-shirt and sweater, before heading back downstairs to Magnus.

I walk into the living room, which it lit by hundreds of candles. There is a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket on the table, and two steaming bowls of spaghetti. Magnus walks into the room then, somehow dressed in a suit and carrying a bunch of side dishes.

"How…" I ask, overwhelmed by everything in front of me.

"I magician never reveals their tricks, but I may have gotten a little help," he says, sitting down, and pulling out the seat next to him. I think of him running after Clary and Jace as they left today. I sit next to Magnus, speechless.

"We didn't really get to celebrate today, but it's a big day!" Magnus says. He then grabs the bottle of champagne and pops the top off, before pouring us both a glass.

"Cheers to us," I say.

"Cheers to us!" Magnus repeats.

"I know it can't have been easy," Magnus says, after a while, "to have told everyone today, or to tell me how you feel. I'm proud of how far you've come."

"Telling you how I feel was one of the easiest things I've ever done. You're someone whom I don't ever have to _fake_ anything around. So no, telling you that I loved you wasn't hard. The only thing that would've been hard was if you didn't say it back."

"I can't imagine a world where I don't love you," Magnus says.

"I don't _want_ to imagine that world," I reply.

We eat the meal, and finish the entire bottle of champagne, before finally heading upstairs to finish what Simon interrupted this morning.

* * *

I hope everyone liked that chapter! We've got a couple of couples now - but I still have more to come. Let me know if there are any pairs you really love, and who you want Kit to end up with - I've got two people in mind and would love your opinion. Thanks for reading, and hope you have an amazing week :)


	38. Chapter 38: How to Tell Her

**Chapter 38: How to Tell Her**

Hey guys, thanks for coming back for another chapter. Hope you're enjoying the story so far. If you could read the little message at the end of the chapter I would really appreciate it. Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

 **Simon's POV**

"She's just so cool. Whenever we're together I know I'm happier, and we get along so well, but ever since we've officially started dating, she's just become kind of distant. Like, we'll have one great night, but then she'll become distant again. Any time I try to actually get serious she just changes the subject, or she starts making out with me… or says she has to leave or something," I say.

"And you think I know how to fix your problems," Clary says, smiling.

"Well I had _hoped_. And it's not like I'm going to ask Kit for advice, and I can't really talk to Alec about this… You and Jace seem happy. Can't you just help me!"

"Okay… well, think about Alec," Clary tells me.

"Look, I know you might be tired or something… but I'm dating _Isabelle_. I'm the straight one." I say.

" Ha ha. No, think about Alec and Magnus. He seems happier recently doesn't he. More open…"

"I guess," I say, confused. "I really don't understand what you're trying to tell me here."

Clary sighs, but is still smiling. "Before Magnus, Alec _sucked_ talking about his feelings. I mean, he's still not great, but it is an improvement. He would shut himself away from the rest of us… never wanted to get serious in interviews. You could never _really_ tell his opinion on anything."

"Okay, but how does this help me with Izzy?" I ask, still confused.

"Well, it might have something to do with the way they were brought up. You know their parents are divorced, and even before that happened they were never an overly affectionate family. They seem to be able to be vulnerable with Max, but he's nine, so I'm not sure it really counts. I've only ever seen Alec and Izzy truly comfortable when they're around each other."

"You're going to have to spell this out for me," I tell Clary.

"She scared Simon. You need to make her feel comfortable and safe with you, and then I think she'll start to open up more, and be more trusting."

"Well I've tried that before… it just never seems to work. It's like she doesn't believe me or something."

"What reasons do you think she'd have to be scared… to be in a serious relationship with you?"

I just look at Clary. I can't think of any reasons. It's not like I'm a scary guy, and she seems more than capable of being able to protect herself.

Clary rolls her eyes, "okay, fine. I'll give you an example. I was scared of being in a relationship with Jace because we have totally different schedules. I was scared because of his reputation."

"Okay sure… maybe the schedules thing, but I don't have a reputation!"

"I'm not saying use all of my reasons. Izzy and I are pretty different people if you haven't noticed."

"I just don't know how I would talk to her about this stuff," I say, running my hands through my hair.

"Then write a song. Think of all the possible reasons Izzy might be afraid of being with you, and then tell her why they aren't problems. Show her you're willing to work for the relationship. You can record it downstairs once you've written it if you want."

"You are a genius Clary Fray," I say, roughly kissing her on the forehead.

She laughs a little, "I wouldn't say _genius_ …"

I go downstairs to Clary's music room, and grab a notebook. I start by writing the list like Clary told me, and then decide to write lyrics from there. I know Izzy has said she likes our more upbeat songs more, so I write lyrics that will fit well with a quick melody. I'm able to get the lyrics out quickly, and I go and grab an electric guitar, and work out a cool melody to match the chorus and work from there.

After a couple of hours, I've managed to write the lyrics, lead guitar and a basic bass line, but know that the song needs at least drums to pull it all together.

"Clary!" I yell, and I can hear start walking down the stairs.

"Done already. You want me to record you?" She asks.

"I need a beat," I tell her. She walks over and picks up the book I was working out of. I grab the lyric page before she can read them, telling her I want them to be a surprise.

Clary reads over the music, softly humming along to what I wrote. When she's about half way through, she looks up, "it's very... upbeat."

I jump up and read the music over her shoulder. "Well yeah, I'm best at writing faster songs, and that's what Izzy likes best so…"

"No it's fine," she says, "I was just expecting something… different. Anyway, do you want to record guitar and bass, and then I'll figure something out for the beat from there."

I grab the guitar I was using before and head into the recording booth. Clary closes the door after me, and starts pressing all these buttons outside.

"Okay Simon," I hear through my headphones, "you need to connect to the amp."

After I do, and strum a few notes until Clary is happy with the sound, I record the guitar line, and ten the bass quickly after that. By the time I go back outside, Clary is already working on the computer mixing the two together. After a couple of minutes, she seems happy with what she's got, and plays it back for both of us both.

"It's good," Clary tells me, but I can see there is more she wants to say. Before I tell her to, she jumps up and heads into the booth, moving around microphones so they are directed towards the drum set at the back of the room. She comes back out and does a bunch of stuff on the computer, and moves a bunch of dials and slides around before turning to me, smiling.

"Okay, I'm going to go record your drum part now. I need you to push this button here," she points to the biggest button on the board in front of us, "to start recording, and then I need you to push play on the computer so I can hear what you've already recorded. If you need to ask me something, press this button, "she points to the button just next to a microphone, "and speak into the microphone. You can wear the headphones if you want to hear what I'm doing. Once it's finished, push the big button again to stop recording. Got it?"

"Big button to start and stop recording, press play on the computer, talk into the microphone. I think it's all under control. You've really go all of this stuff down, don't you?"

"I find it interesting is all…" Clary says, but I know that smile. There's more to this than fascination.

She heads into the recording booth, and I follow all her instructions. She goes through the song three times, recording a slightly different drumline for each, before she seems happy. She comes out and mixes everything together on her computer again, taking a little longer this time.

She spins around in her chair to face, "all we're missing now is lyrics."

I grab the piece of paper with the lyrics written on it, and head back into the booth.

"Ready when you are Si," Clary says into my headphones again. I put both my thumbs up, and I hear the music playing through my headphones.

Once I've finished, I head back outside where Clary sits, just looking at me.

"Well, what did you think?" I ask.

"It's a good song - it needs more - more instruments, buildup, probably harmonies with Kit and Alec, but it's good for a demo."

"Okay but what about for…"

She takes the piece of paper from me, and begins reading. 'She's not afraid of all the attention, she's not afraid of running wild. How come she's so afraid of falling in love… she likes the way we kiss in the dark'…"

"What, you don't like the lyrics?" I ask, a little harshly.

"For a song performed in a stadium, they're great. To sing just for Isabelle… it's almost mean. She knows she's afraid - she doesn't need you telling her too."

"Well then I don't know what to do," I say, falling into a chair. "I'm not trying to be mean."

"I know you're not," Clary says gently. "But you asked for my help. And I know you're happy with Izzy, so I'm not going to lie to you about any of this."

"I appreciate your honesty, but I still have no fucking clue what I'm going to do." I say, covering my face with my hands.

Clary gently pulls my hands back, "I'm going to help you. It'll be alright. Now, show me your list."

"What?"

"Remember, I told you to write a list of all the reasons she might be scared… you did write the list right?"

"Oh that, yeah I wrote that, hold on." I get up and sort through all the sheets of paper on the desk I was working on before finding it. I hand it over to Clary.

She reads over them, before dropping the list onto the table "these all kind of seem like surface level issues Simon." She sighs, before looking up at me, "the main reason I was afraid of being in a relationship with Jace… was… that everyone I truly, fully loved before him, left. And I was scared, that if I gave him my heart… that he would take it and leave."

"Oh Clary," how could I have not seen that before. "But what about… me?"

"Simon, you are the only person I remember having my whole life. Even Luke used to disappear whenever my dad came home. I love you so much, but… we're not going to be this close forever. We're going to start doing different things soon, and there might be months in between actually seeing each other. I love you so much, but it's also a different kind of love. I would feel empty if you actually left me… but if Jace left… I don't know. I just know that's what I was most afraid of. I think that's what most people are afraid of."

"But nobody's ever left Izzy," I say.

"Maybe, but other things have happened in her life. Think about those. Figure out why she doesn't want to get deep. And then tell her why it isn't a problem with you."

"Clary, I don't know how to do that."

She smiles at me before saying, "fine. I'll give you one line. You don't have to use it - you can chop and change or keep it as is. I don't mind - but this is all I'm giving you."

"Thank you, Clary." I say, already grabbing a pen and paper to write down what she says.

"Take a piece of my heart," she says, "and make it all your own. So when we are apart, you'll never be alone."

"Clary are you sure you-"

"I'm going to let you write… I'll be upstairs if you need me."

She heads back up stairs, and I'm left with this one line, which I would _never_ have been able to write, and the rest of a song which I now have to.

This song takes me a little longer to write, but I think it's much better. It's slower, and more intimate. This is a song just for Isabelle.

I head upstairs to find Clary wrapped in a blanket, sitting at the kitchen table with mountains of paper around her, and a guitar on it's stand next to her. Apparently, I wasn't the only one doing some writing today.

She looks over at me, and smiles softly. "How'd you go?" She's blinking slowly, like she always does when she's tired, and I don't want to burden her anymore.

"It's good. I'm happy," I say simply. "I don't think I need to record this one."

"I'm glad. I'm sure it's perfect, Simon," she says, rubbing her eyes.

"Thanks for all your help today," I say, but she quickly waves me off. I start to head to the door before I stop, and turn back to Clary. "You should get some sleep, we have a while to write."

"Go to Isabelle Simon. I'll be fine." I know she's not going to listen to me, so I head towards the door again, but can't help but look back one last time. She's slumped down in her chair, and is running her hands through, obviously frustrated.

She turns towards me, "Simon, promise me one thing," she says, quietly.

"Anything," I say, walking over to her.

"Whatever you say to her tonight, don't get mad at her if she doesn't say it back. Sometimes people just aren't ready."

"Of course," I say, and think back to Will. Maybe there is more behind all of this than I ever thought. I want to stay, but I know she'll get angry so I head out the door.

"What's the occasion?" Izzy asks as she comes through the door.

"No occasion, I just missed you," I say, while helping her take off her jacket, and hang it on the hooks next to my door. I quickly kiss her, before taking her hand and leading her to the kitchen, where I've set everything up for a nice dinner.

"Simon…" Izzy says, confused when she sees the layout.

"I promise you - nothing sus. I just wanted to show you how much I appreciate you. I know things have been pretty crazy lately, and I wanted to spend some time with you - just you."

A nervous smile flashes across her face so quickly I'm not sure if I just imagined it. I shake it off, before pulling a chair out for her, and going to get the food out of the oven.

She smiles when she sees the bags of takeout. "I'm not a great chef, okay." I say.

We eat dinner, Izzy is talking about something to do with Jace for most of the meal, but I'm too distracted thinking about what I'm going to do later tonight to fully pay attention. I keep looking over at my guitar that I left on the couch, almost just wanting to throw it away, pretend I never had the idea.

"Simon!" Izzy yells, "You haven't heard a word I've said since we sat down. What are you thinking about?"

I take a deep breath, before taking her hand and leading her over to the couch. She's about to ask me what's going on, but I pick up the guitar and start strumming and whistling before she has the chance.

 _I promise that one day I'll be around_

 _I'll keep you safe_

 _I'll keep you sound_

 _Right now it's pretty crazy_

 _And I don't know how to stop_

 _Or slow it down_

 _Hey_

 _I know there are some things we need to talk about_

 _And I can't stay_

 _Just let me hold you for a little longer now_

 _Take a piece of my heart_

 _And make it all your own_

 _So when we are apart_

 _You'll never be alone_

 _You'll never be alone_

 _You'll never be alone_

 _When you miss me close your eyes_

 _I may be far but never gone_

 _When you fall asleep tonight_

 _Just remember that we lay under the same stars_

 _And hey_

 _I know there are some things we need to talk about_

 _And I can't stay_

 _Just let me hold you for a little longer now_

 _And take a piece of my heart_

 _And make it all your own_

 _So when we are apart_

 _You'll never be alone_

 _And take a piece of my heart_

 _And make it all your own_

 _So when we are apart_

 _You'll never be alone_

 _You'll never be alone_

Izzy has tears running down her cheeks by the time I finish, but I need to speak now, or I might never do it. "Isabelle Lightwood, when I first saw you, I knew you were the most beautiful person I would ever see. As I got to know you, I also found out you were one of the coolest, most intelligent and oddly relatable people I have ever met. I thought it was an honour just knowing you, and never thought I would get the chance to date you. I know all of this is can be scary for you, and that's okay. I know we might not get to have a normal relationship, or spend that much time with each other, and that's okay too. It's okay because I love you. And I thought saying that to someone would be terrifying, but looking at you know, I know it's true, and I'm not scared. I don't expect you to say it back. I'm not sure if you feel anything for me at the moment, and that's okay too. I just thought you should know."

"I've dated a lot of guys," Izzy tells me, still crying. "And not a single one of them has ever gone to the effort you just did. And I didn't love a single one of them. But I love you Simon Lewis. I don't know why, and I know I'm scared. But I know it's going to be okay, because I love you."

* * *

Song Mentions:

She's Not Afraid - One Direction

Never Be Alone - Shawn Mendes

Hey guys, so I hoped you liked that chapter. I would really appreciate it if you could review with some feedback, because it lets me know how I'm going with the story, and if people like what I'm writing. I haven't gotten a review for the last couple of chapters, and it makes it kind of difficult to write. It doesn't have to be a positive review - it could be something you want to see, or something I could improve on - I'm open to anything :) Anyway, hope you have a great week!


	39. Chapter 39: Luke

**Chapter 39: Luke**

Hey guys, thanks for coming back and continuing to read this story, and thanks to everyone who reviewed last week! I would appreciate it if you could read the authors note at the bottom of the story :) Hope you enjoy the chapter.

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

"I'm sorry I couldn't meet you at the gate. I really wanted to, but it causes so much more stress than it's really worth." I say, helping Luke get his bags in the car.

"Don't worry at all. I was expecting some guy I've never met to tell me Miss Fray is waiting for me at her house. I know you're busy these days," Luke responds. I smile up at him, and finally hug him.

We finally break apart. "Never too busy for you. It's really good to see you Luke," I tell him.

We get into my truck, and I start driving us to my house. "They all really want to see you, you know."

Luke smiles, knowing exactly what I'm talking about. "Are they at your house then?"

"Actually, I told them to come later tonight. It's just Jace at home. He wanted an opportunity to get to know you better. We'll see everyone else tonight."

When we get home, Jace rushes out to help bring Luke's bag in. We're all settled around the coffee table, but I want to give Jace and Luke a chance to talk. "I'm sure you haven't eaten yet. I'll go make us all breakfast and some coffee."

"Do you need any help?" Luke asks at the same time Jace says, "I'll give you a hand, yeah?"

"I'm more than capable of making breakfast. You guys can chat. I'll be quick." Jace looks up at me, kind of nervous. It _had_ been his idea to get to know Luke better, but I think it had only just dawned on him that that meant spending time with him alone. I quickly kiss him on the corner of his mouth, and squeeze his hand before heading into the kitchen.

After a couple of minutes of cooking up some bacon and eggs, I realise that I can't hear either one of them talking. I'm about to head back into the living room to try and diffuse the tension, but stop myself when I hear them talking quietly.

"... she's been hurt before, badly. People have left her, used her… she doesn't need any more pain. I don't want her going through any of that again," I hear Luke say.

"I promise you Sir-" Jace starts, but is quickly cut off.

"Luke is fine."

"...Luke. I will do everything in my power to protect Clary. I know she's had a tough life, and I know she doesn't need me to protect her, or baby her, but I don't want to see her go through anything like that again. I love Clary, so much… I think she's in a much better position to hurt me, than for me to hurt her."

 _Why is he telling Luke this when he's never told me? Why is the first time I'm hearing my boyfriend say he loves me, not when he's saying it to me?_

"Does she know that?" Luke asks.

"That she can hurt me… I sure she's figured it-"

"No. Does Clary know that you love her? I see the way you look at her, and the way you say her name. It's like she's the moon and the stars. But… I've seen that you have a reputation, and I'm not sure you're best suited for Clary. Sometimes, loving someone that much can suffocate them. I know it's not your intention to hurt my dau- to hurt Clary. But things happen. I've seen it happen..."

There's a pause between them, and I can't see them so I don't know what's going on. Has Jace left, is he beating Luke up, is he crying? I'm about to go into the room to find out, when Jace finally responds.

"With all due respect, Sir - Luke. Clary isn't her mother. I don't think she's the type to become all consumed with love. For the first few months we dated, we hid our relationship so she could test the waters. And even now, we're both very careful - she's doing almost everything with her career in mind. And I know I held a certain reputation once… but that wasn't - isn't who I am today. I may have made some mistakes, but being with Clary has made me see clearly. I don't want that life anymore."

"I'm glad to hear it, Jace. You're a good kid," Luke says, sounding a little tired.

I quickly move away from the door, stopping myself from listening in anymore. I busy myself with finishing off breakfast, and when I come out of the kitchen with all of the food, Luke and Jace are smiling at each other. I set my face, hoping they can't tell I was eavesdropping, but I think Luke can tell. He looks at me, and then at Jace, and then nods, letting me know Jace has his approval. I sigh in relief, and then sit down in between them, and ask Luke about New York.

"It's no Takis, but it's still pretty good," I tell Luke, leading him to one of my favourite restaurants in L.A. I greet the two old ladies who run the restaurant and they lead me to the back corner, where I'm hidden from most of the public eye.

"You've really got your life sorted out here, haven't you?" Luke asks, once we're seated at the table.

"You learn to adapt. It's funny, because when I first moved here - with you, I didn't have to hide at all, so I got to be a tourist and everything. But now, I feel like… I've found a bunch of great little spots, like this one, where I don't have to hide, or put on some facade. It's not home - it'll never be New York, but I'm happy."

"I'm glad to hear it kiddo," Luke says.

Sofia, one of the owners, comes and takes our orders, and then I turn to Luke. "How's everything going in New York? How's the dating life?"

"Clary…" Luke says, trying to ward me off the topic.

"Come on Luke. It's been six years. I think it's time to move on," I say, grabbing one of his hands.

"Clary, I've only ever loved your mother. I was the same age when I met her that you were when you met Simon. I tried dating other women a few times, but it was always just unnatural - at least for the moment, I'm happy being single."

"As long as you're happy…" I say, looking him in the eye.

"I promise you Clary - I'm happy with everything going on."

"I just wish you could stay in L.A longer. I miss you when your in New York," I say, moving past the topic.

"Nah, you don't want me around all of the time. And anyway, you're about to get too busy for me soon anyway. And someone's got to look after that bookshop you bought me!"

"It was the only thing you'd let me buy you!" I say. "Are you sure there's absolutely nothing else you want… your trucks getting pretty old…"

"Hey! There is nothing wrong with my truck, thank you very much. And you can't really talk, considering what you picked me up in this morning!"

"Kit would kill me if I did anything to that truck," I say, laughing.

"I still can't believe you bought that, pretty much for him… and he still doesn't have his licence," Luke says.

"Well, it is a pretty cool truck. And I'm not going to complain about the fact that he paid for a third of my first car. I just assumed that one day I would get the other two thirds..."

Luke smiles and shakes his head, amuessed in a clearly parental way.

Sofia comes over with our food, and I notice that she's made me one of the biggest bowls of spaghetti I've ever seen, and brought a side of garlic bread we didn't ask for.

She can see what I'm about to say something, but won't have it, "you are too skinny girl! You work to hard. Eat Sofia's spaghetti!"

"Thank you Sofia!" I say, knowing there's no way I'll win this argument.

"Looks like you don't really need a parental figure in L.A anyway." Luke says, amused.

"I meant to ask you - who's taking care of the shop while you're away?" I ask, ignoring his comment. If there's any way to get Luke to stay longer, I'm going to play the angle.

"There's a girl working there - she's around your age. Her names Maia, she's a nice girl. Reminds me of you a bit." Luke says, looking at me a little sadly. "She had a hard upbringing. It feels good to be able to help out where I can."

"You know," I say, trying to lift his spirits, "for a man that doesn't have any children, you sure have a lot of kids."

He smiles at me, and as if proving the point tells me to eat up.

We end up having to get the majority of the food put into containers to take home, and Sofia makes me promise to eat it all. "Jace will be home for the next couple of days. You know he loves you spaghetti," I tell her.

"That boy's too skinny as well." She says.

"I'll tell him you think so. Thanks for the meal!" I say, as Luke and I head out the door and to my car. We ended up taking my other car here, so I throw Luke the keys so he can drive us both back to my house.

I play Fleetwood Mac through my phone, and Luke and I drive home, singing loudly along to the music.

When we pull up to my house, I see Alec and Simons' cars parked out the front, and I already know they are here to see Luke. Seems that they couldn't wait a full day to see him.

The thing is, is that everyone in the band looks up to Luke like he's their father. After Alec came out as gay, a few weeks after the band got signed, his father started ignoring him. They now only really talk about things concerning his career or their family. But Luke accepted him with open arms. And Kit's dad was always so focused on his own business that he barely spared a second for his son, so when Luke showed an interest in him, he pretty much latched on. And after Simon's dad died, Luke stepped in and made sure he was okay, and made himself available for anything he needed. When we were fourteen at school, and we had a bring your dad to school day, Luke came in for both of us. Even Jace seems pulled towards him.

So it doesn't surprise me in the slightest when Kit and Simon meet Luke at the door with a massive hug, and Alec easily goes up after them with the same greeting.

Thy quickly pull Luke over to the couch and begin filling Luke in on everything he's missed.

"... an she's Jace's manager and Alec's sister, but they've both said it's okay, so that's good," Simon tells Luke. Luke looks over at Alec who shrugs like, _what can you do; their happy_.

"And I'm seeing someone as well," Alec says, kind of shyly.

"Well tell me about him," Luke says, enthusiastically. I can tell he's putting it on a bit, but Alec doesn't seem to notice.

"Well actually… it's Magnus," Alec says, looking at his hands.

"Magnus has always been good to all of you. I'm sure you'll be very happy together," Luke says, and Alec looks up, practically beaming that Luke is still supportive.

"And what about you Kit? Anyone special in your life?" Luke asks amused. I assume he already knows the answer.

"Not for me Luke - you know I'm a wild wolf - no one can tame all of this," he says, gesturing down his body.

Before Luke has to reply, Jace walks in with take out for dinner.

We end up playing video games, eating and just catching up for the rest of the night. I hope Luke knows how thankful we all are to have him in our life.

* * *

So, I hope you liked that chapter. I promise, the next couple of chapters will have some more Clace and drama and such, so I hope you come back for those.

In regards to the future of this story, I've planned out where I want to to go (but am always open to suggestions!), and I see it having about 20 more chapters. After Christmas, everything is a little less depending on time and I won't be at university, so I think I'll start uploading twice a week if you'd like that. Also, I was thinking about continuing on this story, but as a new story if that makes sense.

So let me know if you'd like to see the twice a week updates after Christmas, squeal to this story and also if you'd want to see Clary and Jace in another movie together, because I won't do it if nobody is interested.

Anyway, hope you have a fabulous week!


	40. Chapter 40: Happy Halloween!

**Chapter 40: Happy Halloween!**

Hey guys - thanks for coming back and reading. Hope you're enjoying the story. At the end of the last chapter I asked a few questions but didn't get many responses. I don't know if people just don't read the AN, or aren't interested, but it'd be great to know either way, so if you could answer the following questions for me, I'd be super grateful! Would you like to see the story be updated twice a week instead of once, would you like to see a squeal to this story (I see this story having about 20 more chapters), and would you like to see Clary and Jace do another movie together? If you could answer one, or all of the questions I would really appreciate it. Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter!

* * *

 **Jace's POV**

"Okay, so you know how Simon's birthday party is coming up?" Clary asks me. I nod back. "If I do anything for Halloween, usually I dress up with the guys. We went as the power rangers one year, and as a mariachi band last year…"

"So are you trying to tell me that you're dressing up with them again?" I ask, slightly confused.

"No… I was thinking we could go in a couples costume!"

"Naturally. I assumed that's what we were doing." As I say it, I see her eyes light up, and I'm momentarily distracted by the enthusiasm on her face.

"Okay well I had a couple of ideas…" she pulls out a piece of paper which has scribbles all over it. "We could go as Janet and Brad from Rocky Horror - you know… after everything that happened, I thought it would be pretty funny. Or we could go as Batman and Robin - or as Batman and Poison Ivy. We could go as Bella and Edward. Or we could go as Hercules and Meg! Do you have any ideas?"

I never knew that Clary was this into Halloween… if had known, I would've done something to surprise her… or at least come up with a few ideas.

"Well, I have heard that Hercules is possibly the most attractive Disney character… God like, I think they describe him, so-"

"-I know, I know. I would be perfect for it," Clary says, cutting me off. "But I really just thought that I would go as Meg you know… _Obviously_ I could go as Hercules, but I'm not sure you would look very good in a dress!"

She sticks her tongue out at me, and quickly jumps over the other side of the couch, before I can grab her.

"The audacity!" I say, looking over at her. She's laughing exactly how I'd imagine a five year old does when they've had too much sugar. Somehow, after everything that's happened to her, she's never lost that spark.

"So Hercules and Meg it is then - and don't worry. While I may have made the perfect Hercules, you'll be a close runner up!" This time I jump over the couch after her and catch her as she's trying to run away. I grab her around the waist, and pick her up, spinning her around. I hear her screams mixed with laughter, and eventually put her down.

She looks up at me, the laughter still written all over her face. I lean down to quickly kiss her, but she wraps her arms around my neck, and I quickly pick her up and pin her to the wall. She wraps her legs around my waist and tangles her fingers in my hair. I can't help but moan her name.

"Jesus Christ!" Alec says, coming into the room, with Magnus, Simon and Izzy following him in "you straight people can't keep your hands off each other for five minutes!"

"It's not like we were doing it for you watch!" Clary says, quickly unwrapping her legs and pushing away from me. I grab her hand before she can get too far and pull her back.

"Though you would be welcome to if you wished," I say, and laugh at all the disgusted faces staring back at me. Clary lightly hits me on the chest, but then sits on my lap after I sit on the couch.

"We were just talking about our costumes for your party Simon," Clary says, trying to change the subject.

"Sure, because it _looked_ like you were doing a lot of talking," he replies. "I promise you Alec, not all straight people are like that!"

"Oh, because I didn't have to bleach my eyes once after walking in on you and _my sister!_ " Alec says, going red just from the memory.

"Are you trying to insinuate that I didn't walk in on you and Magnus a few days ago!" Simon quickly calls back. I hear Clary giggle as she leans back into me. I wrap my arms around, and squeeze her once. She grabs a hold of my pinky with her own, absentmindedly.

"I think we can all agree that we spend too much time around each other… _Lord Montgomery_ " Kit says. I'm not exactly sure when he arrived, but he's already seems to have gone through Clary's pantry and is eating cookies out of a box.

Simon goes beet red, and quickly tries to put the attention back on me and Clary. "Whatever… they can't even seem to find their own seat! You would think their awaiting surgery so they can be detached!"

"This is my house Simon, you can't be totally shocked that Jace and I might be doing… stuff. It's called knocking. You should try it sometime," Clary says.

"A virtue Simon would do well to learn!" Alec says, who is still red.

"Okay, well it's been a rather odd past five minutes of conversation. I'm just going to pretend like it didn't happen!" Kit says, sitting down on the other end of the couch to Clary and I. Clary leans over and takes a cookie from him, breaking half off and feeding it to me.

Everyone in the room groans as she does this. Loving the reaction, I lean forward and bite part of the cookie coming out of Clary's mouth, before smiling and leaning back into the couch.

Kit boos us and throws a cookie at me, which I easily catch and feed to Clary. Kit makes vomiting sounds at this.

"You know - maybe if you got a girlfriend or a boyfriend, you wouldn't be so disgusted by all of this." Clary says, nudging him with her foot.

"Relationships are for the weak! I don't need anyone or anything." Kit says.

"So you don't need these then," Simon says walking over and taking the cookies from him. Kit sinks back into the couch looking grumpy about his food being taken away, but not being able to say anything about it without going back on what he just said.

"Moving on from all of that…" Izzy says, leaning up against the arm of a couch, "I've put a lot of effort into Simons party, so I do expect you to all come looking amazing." Simon kisses Izzy on the temple. Kit and I make gagging noises at exactly the same time, but Izzy shoots him daggers, and Clary hits me on the chest, so we both shut up. Our eyes meet and both of us are about to start laughing, before Izzy snaps, "Oh honestly, grow up. Clary is literally sitting on you right now - you don't here me gagging and being stupid."

I feel Clary silently laughing, so I sink further into the couch, frowning.

"Good. I'll see you all tomorrow night, at nine o'clock sharp," Izzy says, before sliding off the couch and heading for the door, with Simon following. He quickly waves goodbye to Clary before they head outside, and I hear their car quietly driving off.

"Do you guys know what you're going as because I have no idea-" Alec starts asking, but Magnus quickly cuts him off.

"I've already organised everything for you, obviously. Kit wanted to do a costume with someone else as well, so we're all going as the Jonas brothers from their Camp Rock era. I'll be Kevin, you'll be Joe and Kit will be Nick - which reminds me," Magnus turns to Kit, "I've organised for someone to come over to your house at 7.00 to do your hair - make it brown and all curly, so you have to be ready for that."

Clary starts laughing at the thought of Kit with brown curly hair, and he quickly flips her off.

Clary and I are posing for photos in our costumes, which look surprisingly accurate. I take the phone from Alec, and thank him, trying hard not to laugh at the bangs that Magnus no doubt, has straightened over his forehead.

"It's a good look," I tell him, somehow managing to keep a straight face.

He looks down at my outfit, looking for something to make fun of, but obviously finds nothing, so he just sighs before walking back over to Magnus.

I ask Clary if she minds if I post some pictures, and she tells me to go for it. As I've gotten closer to Clary I've learned that she doesn't actually dislike social media, she just rarely shares anything _publicly._ She has a private account that she posts on all the time, and she regularly interacts with other people and fan accounts.

I select a few of the better photos, and caption the photo _Happy Halloween from Hercules and Meg!_ Seconds after I've posted the photo, I see Clary smirking at her phone, and I assume she's just talking to Simon or something, but then I see that she's commented _Honey, you mean Hunkules_.

"How long have you been thinking of that one," I ask her.

"Oh, I thought of it as soon as I thought of the costume idea," she replies happily.

Right then, Kit walks into the living room, and I'm sure I wouldn't recognise him if he walked past me on the street. His hair, which is usually wavy, blond and down to his collarbone, is now in tight, dark brown curls. Clary bursts out laughing as soon as she sees him, and again, his only response seems to be flipping her off.

After Magnus makes a few last minute touches, and they all talk photos together, much to Alec and Kit's dismay, we head off to Simon's party.

In typical Izzy fashion, the party is massive. There is a red carpet before you actually go inside, which has heaps of paparazzi lined up, trying to get shots of everyone before they get into the party. After getting a few more photos, were finally allowed inside, where we are quickly met by Simon and Izzy.

I'm looking at them, confused, trying to figure out who they're dressed up as, before Clary says, "Sonny and Cher. Very nice. Very rock'n'roll."

Izzy has straightened her hair, and is in a rainbow jumpsuit which flares at the bottom, and she is wearing these massive platform boots, which means she's almost able to look me in the eye. All I can focus on with Simon is the fake moustache he's wearing. I start tickling it, and his hits my hand away.

"You _wish_ you could grow something this magnificent," he says, slurring his words and swaying on the spot.

"I see you've been having fun," I say.

"Izzy's amazing," he replies.

"Good to know - not exactly what I was asking," I reply. I gently push him on the shoulder, and he would've fallen had Clary not quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him back to standing position. He just laughs, telling her that he's absolutely fine. Clary shakes her head, but is smiling, and then grabs my hand and leads me through the crowd to the bar. We each get some drinks before heading out to the dance floor.

It's clear how much time Clary spends around music. She seems to feel it running through her when she dances. Even if she's just swaying, she's perfectly in time with the beat, and seems all consumed in what she's listening to, almost like she goes off to her own little world. I watch her do this now, when suddenly she smiles, and without opening her eyes she asks, "why aren't you dancing?"

Before I can reply, Kit comes up and starts dancing with both of us. Clearly, he has made it his mission to catch up with Simon, and has a drink in each hand. He yells the words of the song along with Clary as they both dance. As much as I love Clary, I'm new to her life. And I'm different to everyone else in her life. I couldn't ever see myself connecting with Clary in a way like this. I've never bonded with her about music the way Simon, Kit and Alec seem to been able to.

She obviously sees that I'm distracted, and pulls my down so she can say, "what's wrong," into my ear. Possibly sensing intimacy, Kit says something about going to get more drinks.

"Nothing… nothing," I say, smiling down at her.

"Clearly something's wrong, and I'm not going to be able to have a good time till I know," Clary yells at me over the music.

I look at her a moment longer. She's all love and trust and everything good. "Where do you go?" I ask. She cocks her head to the side, confused. "When you dance, or are listening to music… you seem to drift of." We've headed to the side of the party, so we're more easily able to talk. "It's like nobody else exists… but then _some people_ come along, and seem to just... appear in that world with you. I don't know how to get into your head."

"You're always in my head, Jace Herondale," She looks up at me, dreamily. "Since the moment I've met you, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you."

"Is that a good thing?" I ask.

"Most of the time…" she says, and tries to pull me back to the dance floor, but I don't budge. I need to know what she means.

"Recently it's been a good thing. There was a time that thinking about you hurt, because I didn't think I was ever going to be able to have you." I can see she's frustrated. She doesn't know how to say what she wants to, so she starts again. "When I first met you, you were just Jace Herondale. Unattainable, undateable Jace Herondale. And then we got so close. I got so close to having everything I wanted. And then I lost you, and I thought I was never going to get you back." She sighs, and then smiles. "But it's not like that anymore. I have you, and I'm not letting you go. I don't know - sometimes thinking about all of it confuses me."

I lean down and quickly kiss her, "Don't be confused. I'm not going anywhere."

"I wouldn't want it any other way," she says back. She looks like she wants to say more, like she's still confused or distracted, but let her pull me back onto the dance floor, to where Simon and Izzy are dancing anyway.

I'm sure everything he's drunk tonight isn't helping, but where Clary was all smooth and with the beat before, Simon is jerky and awkward. Apparently spending time around music doesn't always mean you'll be a great dancer.

* * *

Hope you liked that. Just a reminder about answering the questions about the squeal, more regularly uploading and Clary and Jace in a movie that would be amazing!

Hope you have a great week and a happy Halloween! See you next week :)


	41. Chapter 41: I Love You

**Chapter 41: I Love You**

Okay... thank you to everyone who replied to my questions on last weeks chapter. Starting this week, I'll now be updating this story two times a week! I'll continue to do one chapter on Tuesday and one on Friday (at least my time). I've also already started planning out a squeal to this story, so it'll be ready for twice a week updates as soon as this story ends. Anyway... hope you enjoy this chapter :)

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

"Do you know how much I hate band meetings. Or forced writing sessions. Or-" Kit says.

"Well suck it up," Magnus interrupts him. "Because there are big decisions that need to be made, and I assumed that you four wanted to be the ones making them."

Kit slides into the couch, sulking a little, but being quite nonetheless.

"Good," Magnus says. "Now, first things first. The holiday season is approaching. I know you said that you'd never do a holiday album."

"Because they're-" Simon starts.

"Yes I know. Because they're tacky and you're above that. _Bravo_. The label, however, has different views. Holiday albums sell big, and they're got enough clients to make a massive one. Essentially, everyone has to submit one song to the album. I've already looked into and you're contractually obliged. So, you will be recording 'All I Want for Christmas is You,' and I assume, filming a video to go with it." Seeing Simon's face, he quickly adds, "No arguments. There is no getting around this. And be thankful their only making you do one song, not an entire album."

Secretly, I'm kind of happy. I've always wanted to do a christmas song, and that's one of my favourites, but I don't voice this because I don't want Simon to get angry with me.

"Additionally, you will be performing in Time Square for New Years Eve…" He looks around at all of us, looking for any arguments people might have, but we all stay quiet, smiling at each other. This has been a dream all of us had.

"Lovely," Magnus says, "well, that's all that's lined up for the holidays. But there is still much more to discuss. For example, how are you breaking the news to everyone - label and public, that the band is breaking up?"

We all look at each other, hoping someone had come up with an idea, but it looks like nobody has.

"Well," I eventually say, "why don't we tell the label first, and then I'm sure they'll have some plan, or some way that they want us to break the news. Who knows - maybe they'll do it for us."

"That's all well and good," Magnus says, "but there is the matter of time. _When_ do you do it?"

"Well our album 'draft' isn't due for a couple of weeks, right?" Alec asks. Magnus nods back, "so I say we do it as late as possible. It doesn't say anywhere in our contracts that we're obliged to give any notice of not renewing the deal. And I think that would give us as good an opportunity to work as normal, and as little opportunity as possible for them to exploit the situation for gain. Because we all know that's what they're going to do."

"That's very responsible Alec," Magnus says, and Kit rolls his eyes.

"Yep whatever, sounds good," Kit says, standing up. "Is that all we need to talk about?"

"We still need to plan the tour, dumbass," Simon says, pulling Kit back down into his seat.

"Well, seeing as it's the last, I think it should be the best," I say.

"Brilliant," Simon says sarcastically, looking over at me. "How do we do that exactly?"

"Well, first off," I say, "we make the shows slightly longer, but keep ticket prices the same - make it a better quality show."

"That's pretty basic," Kit says.

"I wasn't finished!" I say, punching him in the arm. "I also think we should make each show unique."

"What like wear different clothes at each show, because we kind of already do that." Alec asks.

"Well sure the clothes - which I think we could better tailor for each concert. You know like… an 'I heart NY' shirt for the New York show."

"Okay…" Alec says, confused with where I'm going.

"We could like… go out and buy something each day, before the concert. It'd give us more of a chance to explore the city, which we've never really done before, and could be a cool way for us to have a momento from each show," Simon says. I smile over at him. I can always trust Simon to be supportive.

"Okay sure, whatever." Kit says, "That's cool and everything, but there's gotta be more. Something bigger and better to make the show unique."

"Well I was thinking… what if we did a cover at each concert. But like, a different song at each concert. Then people could remember their concert by their song. That way, every concert would _literally_ be unique. A different set list for each concert - no two shows the same."

Kit looks impressed by the idea, but Magnus looks sceptical.

"Clary do you know how much work that would be. I assume this is going to be the biggest tour you've done yet - once the label finds out it's the last they're going to squeeze in as many dates as possible."

"I think we're up for it," I say, looking at the guys, who are all nodding in agreement.

"You say that now," Magnus says, "but think about the last tour. You _literally_ got pneumonia because you were overworked and exhausted. You _collapsed_ after your last concert."

"And I haven't forgotten that," I say evenly. "But think about everything I was doing during that tour. I was promoting _two_ movies, writing the next album, and dealing with everything with Jace and Will and my parents, on top of all the normal tour commitments. I won't have to do any of that extra stuff this time."

Magnus looks at me, clearly trying to decide if this is a smart move or not.

"We have a while to prepare for this tour," Alec says, looking only at Magnus. "I mean, we haven't even written the album yet. If we start preparing for it now - you know song selections, starting to transcribe them so they fit _this_ band, recording our versions… we'll be able to get it all done before the tour even starts. And then it'll just be a matter of learning everything, but at this stage we can learn a song in hours, and we'll have that time before concerts and in between interviews. I know we can do this."

"Okay then… but you have to get organised. No slacking. Work starts for this tour now. I want the full list of songs in a week. I'll have to look into the legality of this all as well. It might become too expensive, and the label may not approve it."

"Money's not an issue Magnus," Kit says, smiling smugly, "we've got enough now. We can pay if it becomes too much."

"Right," Magnus says, eyeing Kit. "Was there anything else you wanted to discuss while we're all together?"

"Actually, yeah," Simon says. "I was thinking… as good as this tour sounds - I think we should have a way to say goodbye, at least for now. Something more final."

"What were you thinking?" I ask.

"Well, we've done pretty much everything right? Concerts, movies, radio, a book, perfume, merch in every which way."

"Right..." I say, confused where he's heading.

"We've never done TV. What if we did one TV special, completely live, which gave us an opportunity to say goodbye to all the fans, and them an opportunity to say goodbye to us. We could do skits, songs, dances, talk to fans, answer questions - whatever we wanted really."

"It could be super long," Kit says, already jumping on the idea, "like a whole day. We could pretty much take over a channel - it could be called Royals For a Day! Get it, like our band name but replace Night with Day!"

"Very clever," Alec says, clearly amused at Kit's sudden enthusiasm.

"You come up with something better," Kit says.

"I wasn't judging! I think it's good," Alec says, now with a straight face. Kit seems satisfied, and turns to Magnus.

"Do you think we could?"

"Well, again, we'll have to get it cleared with the label. Clary?"

"I think it's a great idea."

"Well then, you can start organising that as well if you want - but until we get it approved, which won't happen until you tell the label that you're taking a break, your focus is to be on the album and covers. Everyone understand?"

We all nod obediently, and then Magnus gets up, muttering under his breath about all the extra work he has to do now.

We all turn to each other, and agree that we'll make a list of one hundred songs each that we would love to do live, and then we can each veto songs that we don't like, and if all four of us agree on a song then it gets added to the master list. It doesn't end up taking us very long to get one hundred songs each, but we quickly discover that we thought of a lot of the same music, so we end up with a list of about one hundred and twenty songs.

We all decide to call it a day, and go away and think of more songs so we can come together again the next day and get a final list of about three hundred songs.

"Things seem good between you and Izzy," I tell Simon, as we're leaving.

"Oh yeah - I haven't gotten to tell you yet. Everythings going perfect. Thank you so much for that advice you gave me, and all the help with the song. We're super official now - we even said 'I love you'."

"Simon! That's amazing," I say, genuinely happy for them. He must see something on his face, because he stops walking and turns to me.

"How are things with you and Jace?"

"They're good - better than good. But…" I say. I don't know how to tell him that I don't see it going anywhere at the moment. That I can't see Jace entering that next stage in a relationship.

"You know he loves you Clary… so much," Simon says.

"How do you know?" I ask, knowing I must sound super desperate.

"Because he told me once," Simon says simply. When he notices the look on my face, he asks, "has he not…"

"No he hasn't told me, Simon. I heard him tell Luke a little bit ago, and apparently he's told you. So why is he telling everyone but me?"

"Have you told him?" Simon asks, smiling slightly.

"Well no, but…"

"Maybe you need to follow your own advice a little bit. Remeber you told me that I had to be the first one to make the move with Izzy."

"Yeah, but in this sense Izzy and Jace are nothing alike. Jace has no issue saying how he feels." I see Simon's doubting face and add, "with me, usually. And he's usually so sure about himself. I just don't know what's going on. I mean maybe he's not sure. Maybe he wants to make sure that it's true before he tells me…"

"Clary, there is no way that Jace isn't totally in love with you. He's whipped - he would do anything for you. Do _you_ love him."

"Of course," I say, and then realise that that's the first time I've ever said that outloud, other than that time we accidentally said it to each other, but I don't think that really counts.

"I think you two need to sort some things out," he says, before ruffling my hair and getting in his car.

"Hey Clary," Jace says as I walk in the front door. I had forgotten that I said I would meet him after work today.

"Hey," I say. I can tell that something's off with my voice, so I try to correct it. "How was your day. You had an audition today right?"

"Yeah I think it went pretty well. They said they'd get back to me within a couple of days, but they already had me doing chemistry tests, so I think it's looking pretty good."

"That's good," I say, and I can hear how distracted I sound, so I quickly tell Jace that I'm going to make some food before heading into the kitchen.

When I get into the kitchen, I quickly drop my bag on the bench and sit down on the ground, leaning on the counter.

 _Is Jace not happy anymore? Has something happened?_

My thoughts are racing at a million miles an hour, trying to figure out everything. We started dating ages ago - most couples would have said those three words by now, wouldn't they? Unfortunately, I don't have any experience in serious relationships, so I don't know if what we're going through is normal.

I'm quickly brought back to attention when Jace taps my shoulder, and looks over at me amused.

"Stressful day then? Anything I can help with?" He asks gently, while sitting on the floor next to me.

"N-no. Ahhh, just thinking a few things over," I tell him, and even _I_ don't believe it, so I add a smile which I know can't be helping the situation.

He sighs before saying, "I know this is about more than just today. You've been acting a bit off for a while now. What's going on Clary? You can trust me."

I look at him, and I want to trust him. Everything, from him sitting on the floor next to me to his familiar smile screams that this is someone I should trust, but maybe I don't know him as well as I thought. I don't know what's going on in his head at the moment.

"I prom- I'm fine."

"You know I don't believe you, right? I have nowhere to be tonight, so I guess we're both just going to have to sit here, on the kitchen floor, until you decide to tell me what's going on. Especially if it has something to do with me, which I think it does."

"Why would you think this has anything to do with you?" I ask, looking at my hands.

"Because any time we've talked recently, your fine until we start talking about us. Something's wrong and I want you to tell me so I can try to fix it."

I look over at him. At his perfect golden skin, at the golden hair that floats around his hair like a halo. Those eyes that I've gotten to know so well, but will never get over the beauty of. And when he finally smiles, and I see the small chip in his tooth, I give in.

"You've told Luke you love me, and you told Simon at some point. You've told all these people that you love me, but you've never told me. Do you think you'll want to leave if you commit? Or is it that you don't really believe it, because-"

"Clary," Jace says softly, and when I look at him, it's an expression I've never seen before. Some mixture of pain, and love. "I didn't tell you, because I didn't want to pressure you. It's not your fault at all, but I know you're afraid that the people you love, and who love you are going to leave. I know the last time someone told you they loved you, they left after you didn't say it back." He stops, and looks over my face for a moment before continuing. "I didn't want to put you under any pressure. I didn't want you to feel like you _had_ to say it back, or that you had to worry about losing me. The truth is Clary, I love you, and I will love you until I die, and if there's life a life after that, I'll love you then."

I search in his eyes, and I know he's telling the truth. Jace moves his thumb across my cheek bones to wipe away the tears. I grab his hand. "I love you too, so much. I've never felt like this about anyone, and your right - I'm scared. But I also know that this is meant to be."

And suddenly we're kissing. Jace quickly pulls away and looks at me. The love is obvious on his face, and I don't know how I could have questioned it before.

He kisses one temple, "I love you," he whispers. Then he kisses the other, "I love you." And then my forehead, "I love you." And then each cheek, kissing away the tears, "I love you." And then my chin, "I love you." And then finally my lips again. "I love you."

* * *

Song Mention: 'All I Want for Christmas is You' by Mariah Carey

Also I know I used Jace's line from the book, but I literally cannot imagine him telling her any other way so...

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter... I'll see you later this week for another update :)


	42. Chapter 42: Time to Celebrate

**Chapter 42: Time to Celebrate**

Hey guys. Hope you are enjoying the story so far. This chapter officially marks the first of many two upload a week chapters!

 **Clary's POV**

"Great thank you so much. My manager Isabelle Lightwood will be in contact with you about organising a schedule," Jace says, into the phone.

"Good news I take it?" I ask, leaning on the bench.

"You remember that audition I has a while back? For the Bowie movie? Well I got the part! It looks like my days of teenage rom-coms are finally behind me!" Jace says, beaming down at me.

"That's amazing. Congratulations! I hope I gave you a good send off from the world of teenage _coming of age_ stories," I say, slowly walking over to him.

"The best," Jace says looking down at me, grinning.

"We'll have to think of an appropriate way to celebrate," I say.

"I can think of a few ways," Jaces says, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

He leans down and just before our lips touch, his phone rings. I feel his breath against my lips as he sighs, and I reluctantly pull back.

"Answer it, it might be about the movie," I tell him.

He's still looking at me, clenching his jaw as he answers the phone.

"Jace Herondale," he says, and then quickly adds, "Look Izzy, now's not really the best time. Clary-"

I can hear Izzy yelling something back at him and laugh, before heading down to the cellar to get us a bottle of champagne.

When I come back into the kitchen Jace is sitting on the bench playing with his phone.

"Okay, so I know it's only 1.00, but I think it's okay to start drinking!" I say, and Jace looks over at me but doesn't smile. I put the bottle on the bench and stand so I'm in between Jaces legs. "What's wrong?"

"The ah - the movies going to be filmed in London - at least to start with," Jace says.

"Oh, well," I begin, but Jaces cuts me off.

"And I have to leave in two days."

"Two days! Aren't they supposed to give you way more notice than that?" I ask.

"Well, as it turns out, I'm not their first choice for the role. Someone else pulled out, so then they hired me. The shoots got a break over Chirstmas, and then you'll be on your tour... but, I don't know. We're in such a good place right now. If it was here, in L.A., it would be a different story. Maybe I just shouldn't do it…"

"No," I say definitively.

"No? You don't think I should do it?"

"No - there is no way you're _not_ doing it. You were so excited when you got the call. Remember - your first serious movie. And you even loved the script and story just when you were auditioning. There is no way you are saying no just because of me. Sure, the timing could be better. But we agreed that we weren't going to stop each other from doing what we love. You don't see me not touring just because we're together."

"I would never ask you to do that," Jace says, grabbing one of my hands.

"Exactly - I'm not taking no for an answer. Looks like you're moving to Canada in two days," I say, squeezing his hands.

"And you can't come?" Jace almost pleads.

"We're right in the middle of a bunch of album and tour prep. I wish I could, so much, but I don't think they'll let me go," I reply sadly. There's almost nothing I want more than to follow Jace to Canada.

"Yeah I get it," Jace says, kissing my forehead.

"But hey! We've got two days before you leave. I say we celebrate today, and pack tomorrow!"

Jace laughs and grabs the bottle of champagne next to him, before popping it open.

"That's the spirit," I say, quickly turning to get two glasses out of the cupboard.

Jace pours the drinks, and then I raise mine up. "To my amazing boyfriend! There is _nothing_ you can't do." We clink our glasses and quickly drain them, and after a little while we've drained the bottle, and are both a lot more optimistic about the next few months.

"It's probably not even going to take that long!" Jace says.

"Exactly, and I'm gonna be so busy soon that it's a good thing you'll have something to do."

"Look at us go!" Jace says, raising his arms above his head, "there is nothing we can't do!"

"You know what I really feel like," I say, leaning against a bench. Jace looks at me and raises his eyebrows. "Cake."

Jace starts laughing, and walks over to the fridge, in pursuit of cake I assume. He looks through the contents of the fridge for a while before turning around and declaring, "there's no cake there!"

"That's because I have to be _healthy_ ," I say in disguit. Whose idea was it that I almost constantly have to eat like a rabbit.

"You don't have to eat healthy. No matter what you look like, you'll always be the most beautiful girl in the world to me," Jace says, smiling over at me.

"Well that's all well and good," I say, my mind still on cake, "but if we're going to get any cake we're going to have to go out and actually get it!"

"We could go to a bakery or something?" Jace says.

"But we can't drive. And I don't want to walk," folding my arms.

"Someone could bring us cake!" Jace says.

"Yes! _Simon_ can bring us cake!" I say, already running over to my phone.

I ring Simon and put the phone on speaker, so we can both talk to him when he picks up.

"Hey Clary," Simon says.

"Simon!" I yell, at the same time as Jace.

"Uh yeah… hey guys." Simon says, confused.

"We have a big favour to ask you. What are you doing right now?," I ask.

"I'm just at home, writing."

"Perfect. We need you to bring us cake. We need cake _right now_." Jace says.

"What Jace means to say," I cut in, "is: would you pretty please, with a cherry on top, be able to bring us a cake."

"Why do you guys need cake, and why can't you get it yourself?" Simon asks, now amused.

"Because Simon! Sometimes you just get a craving - and you know that I would never have cake in my house. The temptation is too great," I tell him. shouldn't it be obvious?

"And we can't drive because driving under the influence is dangerous and illegal. And we're not about that."

"Jesus you guys… it's 2.00 on a Monday," Simon says. "This isn't some weird sex thing is it?"

"No Simon, I just really feel like cake! Plus we're celebrating - Jace just got a new role."

"Is that why Izzy won't get off the phone?. I'll be over with your cake shortly, but you owe me Fray!"

"We love you Simon," I yell into the phone before he hangs up.

"What do we while we're waiting?" I ask Jace.

"Well… I don't know about you," Jace says slowly, "but I'm actually pretty tired. I, for one, could go for a nap."

"You want to have a nap? Now!" I say, slightly outraged.

"What, it's not exactly like we're having a party. And champagne makes me sleepy." Jace says, pulling me towards the couch.

"But we're celebrating," I tell him, pouting.

"We can keep celebrating once we get our cake. If anything… we'll be able to better celebrate if we've had a nap."

"Tell you what," I say, pulling Jace away from the couch and towards the backyard. "We can lay down in the grass. I'll look at the clouds, and you can nap. It's a win-win."

Hey smiles as me lazily, before letting me pull him out to the back yard. I grab a blanket off the back of a chair and spread it out on the grass for us to lie on.

"So you're going to be playing David Bowie… that's pretty cool," I say, looking up at the sky. There's ont as many clouds as I'd imagined.

"Well yeah - it's the role of a lifetime. But… so many people look up to him, and have such a clear image of what he was like… what if I'm not good enough. This role is going to make or break my career."

"Look at me," I say, rolling onto my side. "You're not alone in this. You'll have directors and vocal coaches and makeup and producers and so many people on board to help you. And you are good enough - you're better than good. Jace this is exactly the type of role you've been looking for. Don't be scared about everything that could go wrong, but be excited about everything that could happen… about how great this is going to be."

"I guess you're right," he says, rolling onto his back again, looking at the sky. "It's just… I've wanted something this big for so long, and now I've finally got it, and it's starting so soon… It's a bit much is all."

"So just take it one day at a time. Today we celebrate and think about how amazing this is going to be for you. Tomorrow we'll pack, and get you ready to ship off to England."

"Just take it one day at a time," Jace repeats after me.

"You know I'm not literally your slave," Simon says, walking into the backyard with white carboard box. "You could've at least waited inside - or brought your phone out here."

"I'm sorry," I say, sitting up. "We got a bit distracted."

"Yeah, whatever. Here's your cake you two."

"Aren't you going to congratulate me?" Jace says, resting on his elbows, all of his nerves and doubts suddenly washed away. "You're looking at the new David Bowie."

"I would, but because of you my girlfriend is leaving for England in two days - so I'm not particularly happy about it."

"It's because of me that your girlfriend even has a job! Or that you met in the first place," Jaace quickly replies.

"I actually think it's because of _me_ that they met… anyway. Thanks for the cake Simon. Do you want to stay for a while?"

"No, that's all good thanks. I'm going to head home to Izzy. While I still can," he says, shooting Jace a look.

Once I know Simon won't be able to hear me, I say, "it's a good thing he didn't want to stay - I don't really feel like cake anymore."

Jace is already laying back down, with his eyes closed. "Ne neither," he whispers.

Hope you liked that. Sorry it was a little shorter. They'll be back to full length by next chapter. Have a great week :)


	43. Chapter 43: It's All Your Fault

**Chapter 43: It's All Your Fault**

Hey guys, thanks for coming back for another chapter. Hope you're enjoying the story so far and like this chapter :)

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

"I swear the paparazzi are getting worse," I say, rushing into the room. "Sorry I'm late everyone!"

"I haven't noticed," Kit says, somewhat sourly.

I ignore him and fall down on the couch next to Simon. "So, what are we up too?"

"We haven't started anything yet, but I think we just try to get out as many songs as possible so we can choose the best for the album. We've got about a week left before we have to start making any serious decisions," Simon says, and Alec agrees.

"Sounds easy enough," I say sarcastically, while pulling out my song book, getting ready for another long day of writing.

"Because everything is _so_ easy for Clary Fray!" Kit says suddenly.

"What's your problem?" I ask.

"Princess woke up on the wrong side of the bed?" Simon asks mockingly.

"No. You know what - I'm sick of this." Kit yells, throwing his papers on the ground. "I'm sick of everything being easy for Clary, and going right for Clary while we all just sit back and watch it happen, hoping that one day it might be the same for us."

"What is this about?" I ask, confused.

"The attention is always on you, isn't it? First it was about Jace, then Will, then me and then Jace again! Throw in two movies and your dead parents and you've just brewed yourself the most popular celebrity of the year."

"Are you seriously jealous? I didn't ask for any of that. I never wanted to date Will. I didn't ask for all the rumours about Jace and I," I say, trying to keep a level head. Suddenly I can't keep it in any longer, and start yelling, "I didn't ask for my parents to die, or for that information to be leaked!"

"Why don't we all just calm-" Alec begins, but Kit cuts him off.

"No Alec. Don't pretend that we haven't talked about this before - you to Simon. About how the princess over here pretends she doesn't want any of the attention, but is the most famous out of all of us. Has the most money. Does all the designer campaigns. Dates the famous people."

I look around at all the guys. Alec is looking at the ground, and Simon is looking at Kit angrily.

"Let's not forget to mention the fact that I helped - pretended to date you just so you could get more famous!"

"You think that was so I would become more famous? Not that it's my goal at all, but don't you think dating Jace would achieve the same outcome? You _know_ why I did that, and you said you were happy to help! You could have said no."

"When it comes down to it, you get everything you want. I could never have said no to you!"

"When else have I gotten what I want - you, more than anyone else, should know that I work hard for what I get!"

"Is that why you ended up with more covers for the tour than the rest of us?" he says.

"Is that seriously what this about?" I ask, suddenly deflated. He just shrugs. "You can have them! Take them! I don't want them. It'll save me a lot of work in the long run. I'll just play drums for everything, and you can be the front man."

"Clary!" Simon says, who obviously thinks I'm taking this too far.

"No Simon, it's fine. Are you happy now Kit? Get everything you wanted?"

"Not even close!" he says with a manic smile on his face.

"Then what do you want from me?" I ask.

"I want you to take it all back. I wish you never wanted the fucking band to break up!" he yells, his chest heaving.

I stare at him for a moment before saying calmly, "I can't do that, and you know it's not fair to ask me to do that."

"I don't give a fuck about what's fair anymore! You ruined everything!" he yells back at me, clearly trying to get me to yell back, but I'm in no mood.

He keeps yelling after me, that everything is all my fault, as I leave the room. I hear someone follow me, and just pray that it isn't Kit.

I go into a random room down the hall and quickly shut the door letting everything wash over me. After a bit, Simon comes into the room. He doesn't say anything - just stands beside me in silence, and then follows me as I sit on the floor.

"I'm sorry," I eventually tell him.

"There's nothing to be sorry about," Simon replies quickly.

"I was listening - you guys have talked about it before." I finally look at, "you could've just told me you weren't happy."

"In classic Kit fashion, he blew everything up. We all had one conversation about how the paparazzi seemed to pay more attention to you than the rest of us. There was no jealousy from any of us. No resentment."

"Kit sounds resentful."

"Kit doesn't like change - you know that. And everything's changing for him too fast at the moment. We're all moving on with our lives and he feels like he's being left on the outside."

"He didn't have to yell at me," I say, pathetically.

"He needed someone to blame, and you walked in the door. It could've been any of us."

"Doesn't change the fact that it was me - and he threw a lot of things in my face. Or change the fact that for years, I would stay up till three in the morning to work, while he would stay up till three to party. Or that he agreed to everything and said he was fine with it!" I say. I can feel Simon, staring at me, waiting for me to turn and look at him, but I don't. "Whatever, I'm over it. He's a grown man - he can come and apologise to me. I'm not working with him until he does."

"Clary-"

"Don't tell me I'm being unreasonable. _He's_ the one being unreasonable. I'm always the one that caves first - not this time." He looks lost in thought, but I quickly snap him out of it, "so do you want to write with me, or will I do it by myself?"

Simon goes to get his stuff, and comes back a few minutes later. I desperately want to ask him how Kit is going, but I stand my ground.

Simon and I write for the rest of the day, but I'm so distracted that we don't get anything good. We decide to call it a day around eight. He offers for me to come back to his to hang out, seeing as both Izzy and Jace are in England, but I tell him that I need to be alone, at least for tonight, to clear my head.

When I get home I make some vegetables for dinner and sit on my couch in silence, not tasting anything while I eat. Sure, Kit and I had had fights before - but nothing this serious, and nothing that lasted this long. I finish my dinner, and silently clean up the dishes, and then, looking for something to occupy my time with, I decide to clean the house.

Jace, however, had clearly seen to this while he was here, and I hadn't been spending that much time at home since he left, so there isn't much to clean. I go into my bedroom and sit down at the desk, which has my sketch pad and a bunch of coloured pencils Jace had bought me laying out. I sit down and stare at the page, willing something to come to mind. I pick up a pencil without looking and press it onto the page, but again I can't will myself to do anything. The end of the pencil breaks, leave a big red smudge on the page. I throw the pencil down and get up again, wandering through the house.

I eventually decide that all I can do it sleep, so I get ready for bed, and end up staring at the ceiling for a long time. Despite how tired I am, all the thoughts buzzing through my head stop me from actually sleeping. I sit up and dial Jaces number, but when I notice it's eleven, quickly put the phone down, not wanting to bother him. I'm not even sure what time it is in London.

I get up and start wondering around the house again, looking for something to fill my time with. I head into the studio, and see the massive boxes Magnus had given each of us, which are filled with sheet music for each of the cover songs we had decided to do on tour. I starting flicking through each of the bundles, smiling at the choices we had made. We were yet to decide which song would go with each concert, but made the song choices early, so we could have some time to get comfortable with them.

I pick up _Breakfast in America_ by _Supertramp_ and put it on the music stand in front of my drums set. I start playing it, with the intention of just getting comfortable with it, but find that I'm pretty easily able to sight read. I get up and begin a recording, starting playing the actual song through headphones, and manage to get through the whole song with no mistakes. I stop the recording and label it, before heading over to one of the boxes and grabbing another song and repeating the process. After doing about five songs, I decided that I'm going to get through every single song in all of the boxes, even if it means that I get no sleep.

I finish at around 7.30 in the morning. I look around the little room I have spent the past eight or so hours in, and see a bunch of coffee mugs, and sheet music all over the place. I slowly, almost mechanically begin cleaning everything up, and then get ready for the day before heading to another writing session.

I'm the first to arrive today, so I sit on the couch, and stare at the wall across from me. I feel someone sit down on the couch next to me, and slowly look over to see Simon sitting next to me.

"... have had one hell of a night," I hear him say.

I blink at him, confused before saying, "what?"

"I said," Simon says, somewhat irritated, "you look like you've had one hell of a night. What did you do?"

"I was just at home," I hear myself speaking slower than normal, but can't be bothered to speed up. I yawn, before saying, "couldn't sleep."

Kit comes into the room then and looks at me, before quickly turning and sitting on the other couch, which Alec joins him on soon after.

"So, did you guys get anything written yesterday?" Alec asks, and I can hear Simon saying something about a solid chorus, but can't focus on what he's saying.

Someone hands me a cup of coffee, and I take it and begin drinking, and slowly feel the effects of the caffeine coursing through my body, but know they won't last nearly long enough.

I tune back into the conversation as Kit is talking about the success him and Alec had had the day before. I look over at him, and once he realises I'm paying attention adds, "I guess I can definitely say I had a more productive day than Clary."

At this I get up to face him. In the process I spill my coffee cup, but I pay little attention to that. I dig around in my bag for a few seconds before picking up a hard drive and throw it at Kit.

"What's this?" he asks, looking down at it, bored.

"It's all the drum parts for _all_ of the covers. Thanks for saving me heaps of time by the way."

"We don't have to have these done for few weeks," he says, shocked.

"We'll it may have taken me a few weeks before, but since we decided I'll be playing drums for _everything_ \- including songs that don't make sense for you to sing, I decided to do them all last night."

"That must have taken you-"

"Just over seven hours. Not too long at all. I was going to give it to Magnus and explain everything to him, but seeing as you're _so_ much more productive than me, you can do it."

"See this is exactly what I was talking about - always complaining!" Kit says, standing up at well.

"When else have I complained?" I yell back.

"Off the top of my head - about the documentary," Kit snaps.

"Oh, because that went _so_ well for me, didn't it," I say, making an effort not to raise my voice.

"I don't want to hear it-"

"Because you know you're wrong. Can't you just admit that you're scared, and we can all help you move past it?" I plead.

"What do I have to be scared of?" Kit asks.

"Change. The future. I get it - I'm scared too. But I'm also excited. Aren't you exhausted Kit? Don't you need a break?"

"Like this is just going to be a break!" he says, almost offended.

"I don't know when, but one day, the band will get back together," I reassure him.

"I don't believe you," Kit yells before storming out of the room.

I run my fingers through my hair, trying to calm my breathing. After a few deep breaths, I sit back down next to Simon.

"So, should we start writing?" I ask.

* * *

A bit of tension! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you have any comments, questions or suggestions please let me know! Hope you have a great week, and see you on Friday :)


	44. Chapter 44: Sooner Rather Than Later

**Chapter 44: Sooner Rather Than Later**

Hey guys, thanks for coming back to this story, I hope you're enjoying it so far, and like the twice a week updates. What do you think about Clary and Kit's argument? Do you think he's right or being dramatic? Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

 **Jace's POV**

As I finish talking to the costume designer, I see Clary sitting in my chair on the phone to someone, looking a little angry. When she sees me coming over, she hangs up the phone, and gets up to come meet me.

I'm about to ask what all of that was about, before she quickly kisses me, and then sighs, "hi," with a lazy smile.

I smile back down at her, "hello my love. I've missed you."

"I know. I've missed you too - so much. Probably more than I care to admit. I know we were all optimistic when you left, but I just don't know how we are going to cope when I have to leave again."

"Phone sex?" I ask, and she laughs. God I missed that laugh. Of course we had been talking on the phone, but actually getting to see her laugh, and know I was the one who was able to do it fills me with happiness.

"I think I'd prefer the real thing," she says under her breath. I don't think she realised that I could hear what she said, because she quickly goes red when she sees me raised eyebrows.

"Everyone does," I whisper in here ear.

"Anyway… you look good. Never thought I'd see you... in so much colour," she says, lightly pulling on my collar.

"Well, get ready for this movie… I'm practically a walking rainbow."

"I can't wait to watch it!" Clary says. "And not just because of the costumes," she adds quickly, but she still gives me another once over with a smirk.

"You just _wish_ you could pull off such a bold look," I say, waving down my body. "And anyway, the movie's a while off yet. How's everything back home? How is everyone?"

"Well, Simon and I have pretty much been moping around together since you and Izzy left - we're meant to be writing these fun and energetic songs, but pretty much everything we manage write is depressing and sad," she says with a laugh. "And Alec misses you - I didn't realise how close you two had become. And I think he misses Izzy as well. It's the first time in ages they've actually gotten to be like siblings."

"Yeah, well it's been pretty much the same with Izzy and I. When we aren't working we're just moping around set or watching rom-coms back in at my hotel room."

"Yeah but everythings been… fine," she says, looking distracted, "other than the moping."

"What's wrong?" I ask. One thing you learn once you get to know Clary is that she'll never voluntarily share anything negative - you have to work it out of her.

"Nothing's wrong - I'm here with you. And way sooner than we thought possible." She says, smiling once again. I can still see that she's distracted, and want to question her more on it, but I'm called over to the costume department again.

"Okay, sure… are you staying here or am I meeting you back at the hotel?" I ask.

"I think I'm going to stick around for a bit. I might try and find Izzy somewhere - Simon would kill me if I didn't say hi," she says, but her phone rings again, and she looks down at it before rolling her eyes. "I've gotta take this. What time do you finish today?"

"I've just gotta do one or two more costumes and then we're done… so maybe another hour or so."

"Okay, well I'll hang around and we can leave together," she says, smiling quickly before answering the phone and walking off. I can see the tension in her shoulders and know something's wrong, but I don't have time to deal with it right now.

"So that's everything measures and altered. We should have everything ready for production by the end of the week," Julian, the costume designer says. I thank him and look over to Clary, who is sitting in my chair again, writing in her song book. I quickly change out of my suit, and when I get to Clary she's finished writing, but is looking off at all the people packing up the set, distracted.

She jumps a little bit when I put my hand on her shoulder, but quickly recovers and smiles at. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Are you good to go?"

She nods, quickly putting her book into her bag, jumping off the chair and grabbing my hand as we walk to the car waiting for me.

"What do you want to do tonight?" I ask Clary in the car ride to my hotel room.

"I don't mind," she says, looking over at me with a lazy smile. She already looks like she getting tired from all the tour prep and album writing.

"Why don't we just stay in. We can get some room service… watch a movie?" I suggest. Clary was only able to come up for one night, which sucks, but getting to spend even one night with her this soon is much more than I expected.

"Sounds perfect," she says.

We ride the rest of the way to the hotel mostly in comfortable silence. Once we get up to the room, Clary flops down onto the bed, on her back with her arms and legs spread out wide. I smile down at her, and call room service, ordering something I know Clary will like.

She looks like she's about to fall asleep, and part of me wants to let her drift off, but another part knows this is the only night we'll get to spend together for a while, and I don't want Clary to be asleep for all of it. I flop down on the bed next to her and say, "wake up Fray! You haven't even had dinner yet."

She doesn't open her eyes but smiles and says, "I'm just resting my eyes."

"That's something grandma's say," I tell her, and she laughs, just like I'd hoped.

She slowly opens her eyes and looks at me, "what is it that you wanted to do then?"

"I don't know… well actually…" I say, smirking.

"Not now," she says, yawning "you literally just ordered room service."

"Well then I don't know… what where all those calls about before?" I ask, remembering how unhappy she looked.

"It was just Magnus. Let's just say not everyone is ecstatic that I'm here right now."

"I thought you said things were going well… that they didn't need you at the moment."

"Well I mean… we're writing an album. And we're meant to be doing together," she says, looking up at the ceiling. "We have to have our final songs chosen for the album to give to the label by the end of the week, so everything's a little hectic right now. And everything wasn't exactly running smoothly. I don't know... I just needed to get away for a little bit, needed to see you. I'll be back in time to make any important decisions."

"Issues with the label again?" I ask. She'd told me a bit about everything the label had done when they were making their last few albums, and I wouldn't be surprised if they were causing issue again, especially if it was something to do with timing. They seemed less concerned with quality and more concerned with quantity.

"No. Nothing to do with the label. They're not actually involved with anything yet. And we've had this deadline for ages. For possibly the first ever, time isn't our issue."

"Well then who have you got an issue with?" I ask, sitting up and looking at her.

She shrugs, but I see her chin start to shake, and tears well up. Two fall down her temple and onto the bed after she blinks.

"Clary, baby, what's wrong? Did someone hurt you?" I ask. I hate it when Clary's in pain and there is nothing I can do about it.

She shakes her head, but the tears continue to fall. Though she is silent, I can see how hard she is trying to stop crying.

Someone knocks at the door, and I quickly go get our room service. By the time I get back to the bed, Clary is sitting up, and seems to have stopped crying. I roll the trolley into the room a bit, before sitting on the bed again.

"Come on Clary, tells me what's up. It's helps when you can talk to someone you know… and you _know_ I'm going to take your side. You could tell me you burned a city down and I'd instantly assume they deserved it."

She smiles at me, but I can see she doesn't really mean it. "It's stupid, really," she says.

"Trust me, whatever you say I won't find stupid. Scouts honor." I say, holding up three fingers.

"Where you a boy scout? Because I don't think that really means anything if-"

"Stop trying to change the subject, Fray."

She lets out a huff, before saying, "Kit and I got in this argument. He was saying all this stuff to me, and then I overreacted, and then he got all defensive… and I haven't spoken to him since. That was like… two days ago."

"What did he say?" I ask, genuinely curious about what could make Clary and Kit fight like this. They have small arguments all the time, but they're always in good fun and never leave either one of them hurt.

"It was just stuff like… I don't know… I get the most press in the band, and I use them all to gain fame and I make the most money… and that it is my fault that the band is breaking up. Which I guess is true, but everyone agreed and…"

"And you need it," I say. "And deserve it. And honestly I think Alec or Simon probably would've asked for the same thing sooner or later if you hadn't. You may have suggested it Clary, but this isn't your fault. You're not forcing anyone into anything."

"Anyway," Clary says, clearly not wanting to let herself off the hook, "he also talked about how I got the most solos when we were deciding who was taking which parts in the covers for the tour; which is _so_ not true by the way. So then I said he could have all my singing parts and I would take drums for every song. And then I stayed up all night to record all the drums parts so I could rub it in his face." She says the last part so quickly that I nearly miss it.

"Is that why you're so tired?" I ask.

"You noticed?" Clary asks sheepishly.

"I notice everything you do," I say. She looks up at me with soft eyes, still slightly red from her tears. "Anyway, let's eat dinner before it gets too cold."

As we're eating I tell Clary, "this whole thing will blow over. I get people might be on your case because they expect you to be the bigger person and apologize - which I don't think you should have to do for the record, but Kit can't pay attention long enough to watch a movie in one sitting. By the time you get back, he'll have moved onto something else."

"I hope you're right," Clary says.

 _Me too Clary, me too._

* * *

Hope you liked that chapter and the cute little Clace moments in it. What do you think: does Kit have a right to be angry at Clary, or is he just being dramatic? Let me know what you think, and have a great week :)


	45. Chapter 45: Stop Punishing Yourself

**Chapter 45: Time to Stop Punishing Yourself**

Hey guys, thanks for coming back for another chapter. I hope you're enjoying the story so far. Let me know if you like this chapter - it's a little different from the others I've written so far.

* * *

 **Kit's POV**

I wake to banging at my front door and roll over in bed, ignoring it and trying to go back to sleep. Anyone who I would actually let into my house knows that I wouldn't be awake at this hour, and most have their own key anyway. After another couple of minutes, the banging is still hasn't stopped so I slowly sit up in bed, rub my eyes and then pretty much fall out of bed. I pull on a pair of shorts over my boxers and put on a shirt as I walk to the door.

"Whoever you are, go away - it's seven in the morning. There is no reason for all this banging," I say, to the lady standing in front of me.

"There's no need to be rude," she replies.

"Look, whatever you want - money, an autograph… whatever, you're not going to get it. I don't even know how you got past the security gate, but you shouldn't even be able to get to my front door, so why don't you just hurry off before I call security, or the cops," I say, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I get I probably don't look very threatening right now, but I'm in no mood to talk with crazy fans.

"You wouldn't throw _me_ away, would you?" the lady says, with a sweet smile.

"You'd be surprised what I'd do at seven in the morning lady," I say, turning back into my house, but her foot is blocking the door as I try to close it.

"Look lady," I say, swinging the door back open, "I don't know who you are, or what you want - but I _will_ call the cops if you don't leave. I'm in no mood to be tested." I look down at her foot and say, "now move it, because I'm shutting this door whether your foot is there or not."

I'm not usually this harsh, but after everything with Clary and now a random lady showing up at more door early on my last day of being able to sleep in - I'm being pushed to the limit.

"Christopher…" she says, sadly, "I've missed you."

"I've never met you," I tell her.

She smiles sadly, before pulling a picture out of her bag, and holding it out for me. I take the picture, and see a lady - the lady standing in front of me, holding a baby with blonde hair and blue eyes. I look between the lady and the photos a few times, before asking "why are you showing me this? You want me to give you money for your kid?"

She quickly wipes away a tear before telling, "Christopher… that's you. I'm your mother."

I drop the photo and lean against the wall, and start taking deep breaths. I watch her as she bends down and picks up the picture, and protectively puts it back in her bag.

"I know it's a lot to take in," she says, coming towards me, "but-"

"Stay out of my house," I say quickly, blocking her entry into the hallway. "My mother left me just after I was born - if you are really her, why are you here. Why now?" I clear my throat, trying to stop any hoarseness. I refuse to cry for this lady.

"Don't you think this is a conversation we should have inside," she says, trying to come in again.

"I still don't know who you are. And I don't let strangers into my house," I put as much venom into the word strangers as possible.

"I told you. I'm your m-"

"Sure. You _told_ me you're my mother. You showed some picture. Don't expect me to be jumping for joy - or to even believe you. Lots of people know that my mother left when I was a baby. Maybe you're just trying to get something from me. Everyone seems to want something from me."

"My name is Rosemary Davis. Your fathers name is Jonathan - Johnny Rook. You were born in Los Angeles but soon after I left your father moved you to New York because he got a job as a detective there."

"So that's all you know about me? Anyone who wanted to know all of that could've figured it out. And your name means nothing to me. My father never told me my mothers name."

"Christopher-"

"It's Kit," I tell her sternly.

"Kit," she corrects, "I don't know what to tell you. You could call your father and ask… or…"

I rack my brain about anything my father told me about my mother, but he always used to get so angry any time I asked that I just eventually stopped. After a minute, I remember the photo I stole from my father when I was younger of a woman holding a me. After he found out I stole it, he said I could keep it so long as I never brought up my mother again. It seemed like a fair trade off at the time.

"I'll be back," I tell the lady - Rosemary, and quickly shut the door before she can say anything.

When I get up to my room, I see my phone on my bedside table, and really want to call someone, talk to someone about this. But who could I call? Alec and Simon would tell me to let her in, get to know her, and Clary and I aren't talking right now. I think about calling Luke, but he would ask if I've told Clary and I don't want to get into all of that. Finally, I think about calling my father. We haven't spoken in over a year, and the thought of him knowing about my mother but never telling me just makes me angry. Instead of calling anyone, I turn and start rifling through my sock drawer until I find the photo. The women's left forearm has a tattoo of a butterfly on it. I used to stare at this picture every night before bed, thinking of every good reason under the sun my mother may have left me. Eventually I just gave up.

I shake off the thought and rush back down to the front door. I quickly open it and tell the women to pull her left sleeve up. Sure enough, there is a butterfly on her arm. The _exact_ same tattoo as the lady in the picture.

Speaking slowly, I ask "could I see that photo again?" She brings the photo back out from her bag and hands it to me, and I compare the two photo's side by side. It's the same baby - me, in both of the photos.

I look up at my mother, who is smiling at me. I imagine she's trying to comfort me, but the gesture just infuriates me.

"I want you to leave my house, and never come back," I say calmly.

"But, I'm your mother," she says, looking shocked. I'm sure she thought I would accept her with open eyes.

"I don't have a mother. There was some woman who gave birth to me, and then left before I could even hold my head up. No - I don't have a mother. If you think you deserve to call yourself my mother, then I'm glad you left." I had tried to think of an excuse for my mother all these years, but now that I was actually looking at the women, I know nothing would justify her leaving.

She quickly wipes the tears that fall, and I'm almost glad to see the pain. It's her turn to feel it. "But your father said-"

"Figures he would be in on this. How long have you been talking to him?" I ask, getting angrier with everything she says.

"A couple of months. He told me your address and called the gate security to let me in."

"Well I guess I'll be having words with him," I say. I may still seem calm on the outside, but the fury is taking over inside. "If you really are my mother - if you knew anything goddamn about me at all, you know that I don't like my father. And having his approval for this little trip only makes it worse in my eyes. Now leave."

She looks down at the duffel bag at her feet, and then back at me. "I don't have anywhere to go."

Finally, all the anger spills out of me, and I yell, "fine then. You know what? We'll switch roles! You stay here, and I'll leave. I want you out of my house by tomorrow night, or I will call the cops and have a restraining order placed on you. And don't even think about taking anything. I will have a lawsuit on your ass so fast you won't even have time to put it back."

And then, I grab a house key from the table beside the door, shove past her and start running down the street. I know I must look crazy running down my street barefoot, with short sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt, and some lady standing at my door calling after me, but I don't care. I had to get away. The running distracts me, but I don't have anywhere to go. I didn't grab my phone or wallet before I left, and it's not like I can go back to my house now. The only person who lives within walking distance to me is Clary, and honestly after everything that's just happened, she's the only person I want to talk to right now.

I stand at her door for a minute, before knocking. She answers the door after a little bit in exercise clothes and all sweaty, and I know I must have interrupted her work out.

"Kit?" she questions, a little out of breath.

"Hey Clary," I say simply.

"Oh my God! What happened to you?" She says, slowly pulling me in the house, and setting me down on the couch.

"Hell of a morning," I say, staring at the floor.

"Okay, I want to hear all about, but just give me one second, okay." I nod, still looking at the floor, and she quickly rushes off.

She returns a couple of minutes later with a bucket and a washcloth. She sits down at my feet and softly begins cleaning them, and only once she dips the cloth back into the buck do I realise that my feet had been bleeding.

Still cleaning my feet, she softly asks, "Kit, what happened?"

I smile down at her, before telling her "My mom visited me this morning." She quickly pulls something out of my foot, and I flinch back.

"Oh, sorry," she says, talking about my foot, and she put the cloth down and sits on the couch next to me. "Your mom?"

"Yeah I know… crazy, isn't it." I say, looking at the bucket of bloody water.

"Are you sure-"

"Oh, I'm sure it's her."

"What'd you do?" she asks gently.

"Yelled her a bit, and then ran here."

"Well that explains the feet, then. What are you going to do?"

I finally look over at her, and there is nothing but love and sadness in her eyes. Any fight we may have had forgotten. Looking at her, and knowing she's closer than any family I've ever had finally breaks me. I don't realise that I'm crying until Clary is hugging me, trying to sooth me. I hug her back so hard I'm sure it's hurting her, but she doesn't complain.

After I've stopped crying, Clary pulls back but is still holding my hand. "I'm going to ask one more question, and then we don't have to talk about it anymore if you don't want to, okay?"

I nod, and quickly wipe my nose.

"Is she still at your house?"

I just shrug, and she can obviously see that I don't want to talk about it, because she gets up and says something about getting bandages for my feet.

As she gently puts the band-aids on, I suddenly want to tell her everything. I don't want be the only one who knows everything going on inside my head anymore.

"I assume she's still there. I told her she had to get out by tomorrow night. I didn't want her there at all, but she wouldn't leave and she said that she had nowhere to go and I just had to get out of there so I said she could say and I would leave. I'm so scared Clary. Part of me wants her to be gone when I get back tomorrow. You know... I just don't want to have to deal with it all. But the other part hopes that she is still there. And that she's still there for me. Not just because it's a nice house that she can stay in. I just don't know which one I want more… which one scares me more."

"I get it," Clary says, looking up at me and grabbing my hands. "I think about my brother all the time. You know, sure - he lives in New York, and I told him that I didn't want him in my life. And a part of me likes that he's stayed away. You know - that's what I asked. He's just respecting my wishes. But another part wishes he would come to L.A. and beg me to forgive him, because he wants his sister back, because he misses and loves me. I get that it's different. I told Jon to stay away, and I knew him for a lot longer than you knew your mom. But you just have to ask yourself: am I punishing myself by not letting them into my life?"

I stare down at her, hoping she'll say more. Hopping she'll answer the question for me.

"I think for me, the answer is yes. I know we've talked about this sort of thing before. But I can't help but feel guilty for my mothers death and missing her final few days. So maybe keeping Jon away is my way of punishing myself for it. If I'm responsible for my mothers death, then maybe I don't deserve to have any family."

"But what would I be punishing myself for?" I ask.

"I don't know Kit, I wish did, I really do, but I think only you can answer that question?"

"I don't know how," I say, my voice breaking.

"That's okay," Clary tells me. "It's not an easy question to answer. And you don't have to do it right now. You have until tomorrow night to figure out if you want her to be a part of your life. It doesn't have to be a big part. And remember, you don't owe her anything. So whatever you do, it's for you, okay?" I nod.

"I'll get you some of Jace's clothes and then you can have a shower," she says, walking off towards her bedroom.

"Hey Clary," I call out. She turns back to me. "I'm sorry about everything I said. It's not your fault. None of it is. I was just angry. I'm sorry."

"It's fine Kit. I'm over it," she says. "We can talk about it more a bit later if you still want to."

"And Clary," I call out again, "thank you."

She nods at me, before heading off to get me clothes.

"Do you want me to go in first? See if she's still in there?" Clary asks, and I nod, not trusting anything I might say now. I still haven't really decided what I'm going to do, but Clary convinced me to come and see if my mother was still in my house. Plus there was a bunch of stuff in there that I needed. I watch as Clary gets out of the car and walks up to my front door, unlocks it and then steps into the house.

What feels like hours later, Clary comes back out and walks down to the car. She gets back in and sits down.

"She's in there, and she wants to talk to you. It's up to you Kit. I can get her to leave if you want."

I shake my head, and slowly get out of the car. Clary stays in the car, and I walk around to her window.

"This is something you have to do alone. I'll wait out here if you want?"

"Would you?" I ask.

"For as long as you need." I nod and slowly walk towards my house. I take a deep breath before opening the door and walking through to the living room, where my mother is sitting on one of the couches, staring at me.

"I know you said that I had to leave, but I wasn't going to until I got to say my piece, and say goodbye."

"Let's hear it then," I say, sitting on the couch as far away as possible.

"I get it - I've been a shit mother - I've barely even been a mother, and that's not fair on you. I know it's no excuse, but when I became pregnant with you, I wasn't ready to be a mother. I was young, broke and had only been dating your father for a few months. But he convinced me to have the baby. He sold me the tale of a family and told me how happy we would all be. But after I gave birth, I wasn't happy at all. I wasn't a good mother even then, and Johnny was working all the time, trying to make enough money to keep up with you. Eventually I knew that I had to leave. It was what was best for all of us. That way, your father wouldn't have to make as much money, and you wouldn't have _this_ for a mother. I assumed he would start dating again, get married, and then you could have someone who really wanted to be a mother."

"Pretty much all I'm hearing here is you wish you never had me in the first place."

"No, I just wish I was different. I'm not meant for the whole mother thing. But I thought about you every day after I left. I even thought about coming back a few times. But then I heard that you had both moved to New York, and I couldn't afford to go across the country and I realised I had missed my chance. But then years later, I saw you everywhere, and I could follow you from a distance. I'm so proud of everything you've done."

"It still doesn't explain why you waited 5 years to finally come and talk to me."

"I didn't think it would be fair to crash in on all your success. And I also knew you'd just assume I was coming back for the money - which I'm not. I know we can never have a normal mother son relationship, but anything to be in each others lives, even a little bit, has to be better than this, right?"

"I still want you to leave tonight," I tell her slowly, "but I'm prepared to have some sort of a relationship with you. Maybe when I have a concert near you, you can come? And we can work it out from there?"

She smiles at me. I realise that she expected me to turn her away, probably yell at her again. "That sounds good. Thank you."

"I'm not doing this for you," I say, thinking back to what Clary said yesterday. "It's time I stopped punishing myself."

* * *

Hope you liked this chapter - something a little different from what's been going on lately. What do you think about Kit's mother - how big of a role do you think she should have in Kit's life? Let me know, and I hope you have a great week :)


	46. Chapter 46: All I Want For Christmas

**Chapter 46: All I Want For Christmas Is You!**

Hey everyone, thanks for coming back for another chapter! I know it's early for Christmas and I promise I'll go back to non-seasonal chapters after this, but Christmas music is being released, and this band is not excused from that! Hope you like the chapter.

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

"I still can't believe we have to do this. Isn't recording the song enough?" Simon says.

"Simon, you are having an all paid expenses trip to have exclusive use of Vail; one of the biggest and most prestigious ski mountains in America, to film a music video for a Christmas song - which you will profit quite heavily out of. _Suck it up_ ," Magnus replies.

I try to cover up a laugh as Simon rolls his eyes, but he must hear me because he quickly asks, "what are you laughing at?"

"The fact that you just got burned by Magnus," Kit says.

"Besides, there are worse things to do - they're even letting us film and direct it ourselves. Think of it as a holiday - it'll be fun!" I tell him. He shrugs, and sulks off into the cabin. We all follow him inside, into a massive wooden chalet on the side of a ski slope. They wanted us to be able to film inside as well as on the mountain, so they wanted it to be as plush as possible.

Alec whistles as he looks around the living room, "this kind of reminds me of the family holidays I used to have."

Everyone looks over at him with their eyebrows raised, "you guys never had a holiday like this?" he asks. "I mean, not in a place this big - obviously. But a place in the snow; skiing all day and watching movies by the fire at night?"

"Alec," I say. "We didn't come from rich families like you. This is the first time I've ever been skiing."

"Before we started touring, I'd only left the country once," Simon says.

"Before we started touring, I'd never left the state," Kit adds.

Alec holds his hands up in defence.

"Okay...okay. We're not here to gang up on Alec - we're here to film a music video," Magnus says. "Speaking of which - you have two days to film, including today, and you have to film everyone skiing while the sun is still up. Before that we've got to get everyone skis and boards and boots… which is what we're going to do first. While we're doing that we'll talk logistics."

While we're getting boots fitted, we all agree that we won't actually lip sync while we are out in the snow, because it'll be too hard to make sure we're all synced up, so instead we'll do a bunch of clips inside at night that we can use for different singing parts throughout the music video. We've also each got a camera, but we don't want a lot of us filming each other in the music video, we decide that only one or two of us should be filming at a time.

After we're all ready to go skiing, we head up a chair lift, but it only really occurs to me as I have to get off that I have absolutely no idea how to.

"Alec, how do you get off this thing!" I yell, quickly starting to panic.

"When you can, just stand up and let the chair gently push you forward," he says calmly.

"But won't it just push us over?" Kit asks, sounding sceptical.

Alec doesn't have time to answer as we get to the landing zone, and I do as he tells me and slowly stand, and amazingly move forward without falling. Kit, on the other hand, somehow crossed his skis over, and fell over almost straight away. He took Simon down with him, and now the two are laying on the ground all tangled up, and one of the lifties has to run over and help them get up.

Once we're all settled again, Alec says that he'll film for the first run, and that we should just follow him down the hill. We make our way down slowly, but surely. We only fall over a handful of times, but Alec assures us everything he filmed will look good in a video.

We go up and down the mountain a couple more times before the sun sets, so we head back inside and get ready to film for the night. I had organised with Magnus to get us all matching Christmas pyjamas, which Simon and Alec are reluctant to get into, but Kit and I are able to eventually convince them.

We film a bunch of stuff of us decorating a Christmas tree, and we even bake gingerbread biscuits, which we then eat in front of a big fire.

We call it a night at around midnight, when everyone heads off to their separate rooms. I start downloading all of the footage from everyone's cameras onto my laptop and start sorting through all of it, deciding which bits we should keep and what we should use. We have more than enough to use for the whole song, but since we have half the day tomorrow to keep filming I write down some ideas I have about what we can do.

Just before 1.00, I put my laptop away and call Jace. Because of the time difference and our work schedules, we've been having to call each other at odd times so we can talk for a bit.

"Hey Clary," Jace says softly once he picks up the phone.

"Hey you. How's everything going? How's the movie coming along?" I ask.

"Pretty good. Started filming yesterday, and got an idea of the overall schedule for the shoot," he replies.

"And when do you finish?" I ask. I know this movie is great for him and his career, but I can't help how desperately I miss him.

"Right before your tour ends actually. I have a couple of breaks over the shoot - one over Christmas and New Years, so I'll be able to come to New Years Eve and your first show, and then a few others throughout, so I should be able to visit you then as well."

"Christmas," I say, trying to sound positive. I won't get to see Jace until Christmas.

"Hey - it's not that far off. And I'm sure you'll do some press in England before the tour. We'll see each other before you know it," he says. I'm not sure who he's trying to convince more - me or himself. "Anyway, how are things going with you? You've got your big meeting soon."

We have a meeting tomorrow after we get back from this trip about renewing our contract with the label. Pretty much, we break the news about _our_ break tomorrow. "Preparing for a shit storm," I tell Jace laughing. "But at least we get a sort of holiday before. This skiing thing's pretty fun. We should do it some time!"

"I can't imagine you're a very graceful skier," Jace says.

"I'm sure I'm better than you!" I say.

"I highly doubt that. I had lessons when I was a child - I'm quite a good skier actually."

"Of course Mr Bigshot child actor had skiing lessons in his youth," I say.

"For your information I had to learn for a movie - my dad _never_ would have taken me on a skiing holiday."

"Okay, okay - you win," I say, yawning.

"Clary, go to sleep baby. You've got a big day tomorrow, and it's late." Jace says softly.

"But I'm not even tired," I protest.

"I'm sure," Jace says sarcastically. "Anyway, I've got to get to set now anyway. I love you Clary."

"I love you to the moon and back," I say, yawning again.

I hear him chuckle a little bit, before he says, "okay, I'll call you tomorrow to see how everything went. I love you Clary," and then he hangs up.

I throw my phone onto my bed and roll over, thinking about Jace as I drift off.

"I saw that there were a bunch of toboggans outside. We could have a race or something?" I say as we're all eating breakfast and talking about filming planning today.

"And I think we should get some scenic shots - you know just like of the house and the trees and stuff, for the beginning maybe?" Alec says.

"And I want to make snow angles and have a snowball fight!" Kit says, rather excitedly.

"What about you Simon, what do you want to do?" I ask. Simon, it seems, was determined not to have a good time filming this music video, and I was determined to change his mind.

"I don't want to do anything," he says, sulking.

"Kit and I took the vocals. Alec figured out how to get complete control over this music video. We've done everything in our power to make this an enjoyable experience for you. The least you could do is pitch in an idea." Maybe playing the guilt card will get him to cave. He looks up at me and I smile at him.

"Fine," he says, rather grumpily - but I'll take it. "Can I just point out that I'm Jewish and don't even celebrate Christmas."

"And yet I notice you don't complain when we buy you presents," Alec says, smirking.

"Just get on with it," I tell Simon.

He looks at me for a while, before he smirks. "I know. I want to do another ski run," he says.

"We;ve already got heaps of that. Clary said she went through all the footage and thinks we should get some different stuff," Kit says, clearly bored by the whole 'trying to get Simon on board thing'.

"I want to do a run in as little clothing at possible. We'll all do it in boxers or whatever, and you do it in underwear." He smirks at me, assuming that I'll never go for it, and drop the whole notion of him coming up with something, but I'm not giving up that easily.

"Well we have to be safe," I say, and Simon smiles because he thinks he's won, "so we'll have to wear helmets as well - or at least goggles."

"But-" Simon says, shocked.

"I think it's a great idea Simon," Kit says, glad that Simon's put himself in a hole.

"Whatever," Alec says. "Let's just start filming. We'll probably do Simon's thing last so we can just get warm straight after and then head off.

Before everyone goes off, I grab Kit and pull him aside. He'd decided not to share everything with his mom with everyone else, because he was still trying to figure out what was going on himself.

"Are you sure you're okay - I know all of this is good to distract you for a bit, but once you get home she'll still be there. She is living in your house after all," I tell him, making sure no one else can hear.

"Yeah, I really think I'm okay," Kit answers. "I know it's a big change, and I'm not just going to let her off the hook, but we had a good talk the other day, and I said she could stay at my house while she figured everything out for herself, but she should be gone by the time I get back. We're just going to take everything slow."

"Well, as long as you're sure you're fine," I say, quickly squeezing his hand.

"I promise I am. And thank you for all your help with everything. And I really am sorry about all those things I said to you."

"It's already forgotten," I tell him. "But just one question. Do you really want all the solos?"

"God no - I was just looking for things to argue about. Take them! Please!" Kit says dramatically.

"Okay - that's what I thought. The means I recorded like, half of your drum parts for you." I say, poking him in the side.

"Just an added bonus!" Kit yells, walking off to his bedroom to get ready for the shoot.

Around five hours after breakfast, Simon, Alec and Kit end up skiing down a mountain in nothing but underwear, a beanie and goggles. In the end, Simon wouldn't let me ski down in only underwear, so I'm wearing one of Jace's t-shirts, but the idea is still there.

Once we get back to the house, we all quickly get inside and put on hoodies and sweatpants, and Magnus gets a cute video of us all huddled up together trying to get warm. After that we have to quickly pack up so we can get a flight back to L.A.

On the flight back I start editing the video, and even Simon admits it's cute. We'll probably have to film a few video clips in the next few weeks, but for me, and I'm sure the guys, this has been one of the best.

* * *

Song Mention: All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey

Hope you enjoyed that chapter. Like I said, I'll go back to non-Christmas chapters after this one, and then they'll starts up again closer to Christmas. Anyway, hope you have a great week!


	47. Chapter 47: Everything Comes to an End

**Chapter 47: Everything Comes to an End**

Hey guys, thanks for coming back for another chapter. And also a massive thank you to everyone who has been leaving reviews lately; they really do make writing easier, and makes me more excited to do it!

SomeoneOutThere, I know exactly where I can work that song in, so keep an eye out for it! If you have a song, or just something in general you want to see in the story, let me know and I'll work it in! Anyway, hope you like this chapter.

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

We're in the car from the airport on the way to our meeting with the label. We've had meetings planning our future, where we had absolutely nothing ready, and even when we haven't slept in 30 hours. But nothing has made me as nervous as this upcoming meeting. We've given no sign that the band is breaking up, or that we won't be re-signing with this label. I'm sure they're expecting us to try and negotiate better terms - possible less press, more breaks and a bigger cut of profits, but I don't think they're expecting what's actually coming.

We get out of the car at the studio and quietly head up to the meeting room, where we sit waiting patiently for everyone else to arrive. I'm expecting Starkweather to come in, as he usually likes to sit in on these types of meetings, but they start before he arrives.

"So, before we get into the boring legal stuff," Blackwell, one of Starkweather's assistant says, "we're just going to go over a quick progress report. Your Christmas shoot - all done?"

"Yes," I say, "I'll finish the editing on the video by tomorrow night and I'll have it sent over so you can get the professionals to fix it all up."

"Wonderful - that'll be set for release in about a week. Next on the agenda is New Years Eve. We've got a crew ready to help you choreography that and get a set list and everything so it's a success. That'll be worked in with your tour prep, so it's nothing outside of what you've already got scheduled."

Despite how normal he's telling us it will be, I see Magnus take a bunch of notes, and write some stuff in his calendar. Magnus doesn't like it when his plans change, and he clearly thought we'd be doing it outside of your prep.

"And finally the album. Can't do any of it without the album! Where are you at with that?"

"They just want to re-record one thing that they've changed in a song and it'll all be sent over after that. We're heading to the studio after this to record, so you should have it by midnight," Magnus tells them.

"Wonderful. Everything's on schedule then. We'll have a listen to that tomorrow, and then you'll have a talk with marketing and the engineers and everyone tomorrow night so we can fine tune everything before you properly record it."

I love how they're always able to just gloss over everything that helps make the album what it is - and what should really be taking the longest.

"And now the boring bit. We've got our and your lawyers here to make any changes, additions or cuts from the existing contract to go forward into the future."

We all look at each other before Magnus, thankfully, puts down his notebook and says, "to make things easy for you Mr. Blackwell. No changes will need to be made as my clients will not be renewing their contract with Circle Records. They will be taking a break for an undecided amount of time from producing music together."

Chaos erupts in the room, as people begin talking to each other, yelling at us and just generally making a big fuss. Magnus tells us to stay quiet, as he goes over to talk with our lawyers. A little bit later, Starkweather comes into the room, looking notably stressed, but like he's trying to play it cool. The room seems to quiet down as people notice he's arrived.

"Alec, Simon, Kit and Clary. Thank you for coming in today. May I just ask you to repeat what you said earlier, so I can hear it for myself."

"They're not signing with your label again, Mr. Starkweather. It's as simple as that." Magnus says, returning to his seat.

"Well let's not be hasty here. I understand that you might need a break, and we can certainly negotiate something-"

"No more negotiations Starwether," Magnus says, smiling. I can see how happy he is finally getting to say whatever he wants to Starkwether. "No new contracts will be signed today, no matter what you say. They made this decision a while ago, and nothing has changed their minds yet - I doubt you would be able to."

"Better deals can be negotiated. Bigger cuts for all of you, longer breaks. We're willing to compromise here. Meet us in the middle."

"Sorry Mr. Starkweather," Alec says, "but we're done for now. No deal will bring us back in."

"We're committed to this album and tour. We'll see out our current contract in full," Simon says. "We'll let you release the news how and when you see fit, but this is it for us, at least for a while."

"We'd like to thank you for the opportunities you've given us. We're going to work as hard as possible on this album and tour, don't worry about that," I say.

Starkweather looks at each of us with more anger than I knew a person could feel, before he looks over at his lawyers.

"There's nothing written into their contract about the length of notice they have to give us about not re-signing or breaking up. Our hands are tired sir," one of the lawyers says.

"But while we're here, we would like to discuss some plans for the tour and the legality and costs surrounding these ideas," Magnus says. He fills everyone in on the plans of extending the shows, and possibly the length of the tour entirely to let us have more rest in between shows, as well as the idea of covers at each concert and Royals for a Day. After being assured that we would cover and major costs personally, they agree. All of the lawyers agree to write the terms into a contract which we can review and sign tomorrow. After that, there isn't much they can do, so they let us go to finish the demo album, and agree to have everything figured out by tomorrow afternoon.

When we head out of the studio that night, all of us seem to be walking with a spring in our step. We finished and submitted an album that we're all happy with and proud of. We finally broke the news of the band breaking up, and it didn't seem to start as much commotion as we had expected. And it seemed that our ideas for the tour and a tv special were going to be approved. It's like we could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

A few days later we're having our lunch break from recording. Our album and plans had all been approved, so now it was all about making it official. It's finally crunch time. Magnus gets a phone call, which he goes to take in another room and Alec and I discuss _Rainbow_ which was going to be the last track on the album. It was just me on vocals and Alec playing the piano.

"It was really cool of you to let _Rainbow_ be on the album," I say to Alec.

"Me?" He says, "what about you. You're the one that actually wrote the song."

"Yeah, but I wrote it ages ago," I say. "And I wrote it _for_ you. It's your choice what happens with it, not mine."

"Well you wrote it at the perfect time for me. Mom and dad were having a hard time accepting who I was - am. And I was just feeling shitty about everything, and then you wrote this song telling me exactly what I needed to hear. I really think it could help people going through the same thing."

I grab his hand and squeeze it, "I'm always here if you need to talk. _Always_."

Before Alec is able to reply, Magnus comes rushing back into the room, looking frantic.

"What's going on Magnus? Loose your hair gel?" Simon says.

"It's been leaked," Magnus says, completely ignoring Simon. "They don't know how, or who leaked it. But it's out. Everyone knows that the band is breaking up."

Everyone quickly grabs out their phones and goes onto social media or news websites. I'm quickly able to find a bunch of tweets talking about it - it's already trending.

"But no ones confirmed anything yet," I say.

"Apparently it's from a reliable source. Someone on the inside must of let it spill. And we can hardly deny it. Not when they were going to announce it next week along with the album and your first single," Magnus tells us.

"What do they want us to do?" Alec asks.

"They're leaving it up to you guys with what you want to say, but they want you to confirm it. Probably a post on twitter and Instagram. I think you should all discuss and either post the same thing, or something with a similar message. But it should be real, and it should be from you."

We'd never thought this would happen. We thought the label would create some thought out plan, and we would be told exactly what to say. It takes us a while but eventually we're able to come up with a message that we're all happy with. We all tweet it out at the same time, and then take the photo of us in out sweat suits from the 'All I Want for Christmas is You' shoot and post the same message to Instagram.

Instead of stressing about everyone's reactions, we all put our phones away, and keep recording the album. We agree we can all look at it together tonight once we're finished for the day.

When we do finally look at our phones later that night, it's crazy to see how much people are talking about it. When you just put our band name in google, an endless amount of articles come up, citing our posts and speculating about problems in the band. The topic is number one trending on twitter. It's overwhelming how much people are talking about it. The actual feedback from fans is mixed. Some are really negative and angry, but a bunch are positive.

Just a few hours after I've posted it, it's already close to one of my most liked posts on Instagram. I smile at the picture of all of us huddled together, before reading the caption one last time.

 _It's time that we begin to say goodbye to this chapter of our lives. This next album and tour will be our last for a while, so we're going to appreciate every second and make memories to last a lifetime. We'll see you soon. With all our love, Simon, Kit, Alec and Clary xx_

* * *

Song Mention: Rainbow by Kacey Musgraves

I hope you lied that chapter. Everything is starting to come to an end for the band; I've already started planning for the sequel, but if there's anything you want to see in this story, or it's sequel please let me know! Anyway, I hope you all have a fabulous week.


	48. Chapter 48: Girls Day Out

**Chapter 48: Girls Day Out**

Hey guys, thanks for coming back and reading my story! Sorry if this chapter is a little rusty - I just got my wisdom teeth out and I'm not really in the editing mood. Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter.

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

"This is exactly what I need, thank you Iz," I say to Izzy, holding the cafe door open for her. Diego follows her in and we quickly find a table. Diego insist on sitting at a different table. Despite the fact I think of him as a friend, he wants to keep things professional.

"Simon wasn't too happy about letting me go, I'll tell you that much. But I was able to convince him once I promised I'd-"

"I love you, and I love Simon, but I'm fine if what you two do in your alone time remains private - in fact I'd very much prefer it," I tell her quickly before she can tell me something I'll never be able to forget.

She looks at me smiling, "it's just girl talk, Clary."

"I wouldn't know," I say, "I've never really had any… girl friends."

"Honestly, neither have I," Izzy confesses. "I just assume that's what they talk about."

"It's odd, really. I met Simon when I was four, and we've been best friends ever since. I mean, I've had girls that I would consider friends… but none that I really want to hang out with."

"I get what you mean," Izzy says, leaning back in her chair. "Girls don't tend to like me very much…"

"Well now we have each other," I say as a waitress brings over our hot chocolates.

"Cheers to that," Izzy says, holding up her mug. "And now I have someone to pass all of my knowledge onto. Not that you seem to need much help in the boy department; you've got Jace wrapped around your little finger. Do you know how depressed he was that I got to come to L.A. and he couldn't. I told him, 'that's what you get for being the big movie star.'"

I look up at her and smile a little, trying not to look disappointed. I know she's just trying to make a joke, but I really wish Jace would've been able to come back too.

"Sorry," she says, clearly recognising that I didn't enjoy the joke as much as she wished. "I think you're beginning to get why girls don't like me very much."

"No, it's fine. Let's just say I don't think Jace is the only one who's whipped. I don't know, it's just hard. I know I only saw him a couple of days ago, but I just miss him so much. Anyway… let's not talk about that."

"You know the best way to distract yourself from a boy… shopping!" she says excitedly.

"I'm not sure Izzy…" I say. Jace has hinted at what a shopping trip with Izzy entails, and I'm not sure I'm up for the challenge.

"Come on… I promise it'll be fun. And look… I love your style - I promise. But you were a millionaire at sixteen yet you still dress in clothes from vintage stores and Simon's old sneakers. I think it's time you step it up a notch. The black card in your wallet is screaming to have some real money spent," Izzy says, giving me puppy dog eyes.

"First of all, I haven't worn a pair of Simon's old sneakers in years," I say, folding my arms.

"And second…" Izzy says, looking amused.

"I don't really have a second," I admit, "I just wanted to make that point."

"So come on!" Izzy says, jumping out of her seat, "I'll show you the perfect pair of Louboutin's that'll make your legs look so much longer." After seeing my doubtful look, she adds, "don't worry - I'll show you how to walk in them properly, and how to dance. You'll forget you aren't wearing your sneakers."

"Fine…" I say, giving in.

"Ohh, and I saw the coolest pair of boots at Louis Vuitton the other day…" I zzy says while literally pulling me out the door.

"I just don't understand," Izzy says, "if you already know how to walk in heels that well, why don't you wear them, like all the time?"

"The only reason I know how to walk in heels is because I went through intensive media training after we got signed. Not only can wear heels well, I can get into a car in a short dress without flashing, and I can talk my way around any interview question," I tell her, sitting down to take off the shoes. Truely, they were beautiful, but it would be a waste to buy them - I only really wear heels to big events and award shows, and usually they're given to me for free.

"But that doesn't explain why you don't wear them more often," she says, sitting down beside me.

"Because they're uncomfortable. And they don't really go with the clothes I usually wear," I tell her, handing the shoes back to the sales assistant.

"Oh, I can show you heaps of ways to make them hurt less," Izzy tells me excitedly, "and after you wear them enough, everything pretty much becomes numb anyway. And you can easily dress to your shoes - we can go shopping for that too!"

"I don't know Izzy," I say, carefully tying my sneakers back up.

"Oh come on! What other reason could there possibly be?"

I look back up at her, and I can see how desperate she is, "I'm sorry, I really just don't like wearing heels okay. At least just around in the street."

"I promise you Clary, no ones going to think any less of you if you're a little more girly," she says.

"It's not about that," I say, quickly standing up, and thanking the sales assistant before heading out of the store. Izzy and Diego rush after me, but I wait for them to catch up.

"What's it about then Clary? Because if it's not about comfort or style or reputation or money… what else is there?"I stop walking and look at her. "Come on Clary, you can tell me. We're girlfriends now! It's time to start opening up - you know I won't judge."

"I can't move quickly in heels," I tell her quietly. "I've been mobbed by paparazzi before, and I couldn't run away or move quickly because I was in heels, and then as I was trying to get away, I stood in the gutter and broke my ankle. And it was just before tour and I couldn't play drums."

"But that was a one time thing - and look!" Izzy says, pointing towards the paparazzi a little way down the street, "they're not even coming close to you."

"That's because I have a court order against them. They're not allowed to loiter around my house or any shops I go in, they can't follow me in cars or motor cycles or anything, and if they get close enough that it's perceived as a risk to my safety, Diego is allowed to use force to keep them away." I tell her quickly, moving away from the paparazzi.

"Then I don't see what the issue is," Izzy says, hurring after me.

"That's because it's never happened to you before!" I say shortly. I take a breath before continuing, "I'm sorry. This isn't me asking you to feel sorry for me. But I don't think you've ever genuinely feared for your safety because people were surrounding you from all directions trying to get a picture of you, or to get to touch you. You may have been around Jace when something similar happened, but until it's _you_ they're after, you can't know."

"Clary, I'm sorry. I should've it," she says.

"It's fine, I promise. And I'm still down to get the boots from Louis Vuitton - just no stilettos!" I say, grinning at her.

"I think I can manage that…" she says, smiling back at me.

As we're heading down the street towards more shops, I notice a young-ish looking homeless man leaning against a wall, in only a t-shirt and shorts.

"God, he must be cold." I say to Izzy, who looks over at him and nods.

I walk over to the man, "how are you doing today?" I ask him.

"m'alright. Hungry. Can you spare some change?" he ask.

"I can go get you some food if you'd like. And maybe a coat? Nobody should be out in this weather without a coat." He just nods, so I ask, "what kind of food do you like?"

"Some bread n' soup would be nice," he says back, shyly.

"Okay well I'll be back in a little bit with some food and a jacket, okay. You just stay here," I say, and then look down the street where I see restaurant.

"Okay, thank you," he replies.

"Hey Diego. Would you mind going into the Macy's just down the street and buying a jacket and some blankets and pillows and just. And maybe something to carry them in?" I ask, handing him some money.

"Clary I really don't think I should leave you at the moment. Things have been pretty crazy at the moment," he replies.

"You can walk me down and into that restaurant down there, where I promise I'll stay until you come back. I'll be with Izzy. I promise - I'll be fine, I say.

"I'll take care of it Clary, Diego - you go with Clary to get food, and I'll meet you at the restaurant shortly," she says, grabbing the cash out of Diego's hand and sauntering off down the street.

As Diego and I make our way down the street he says, "you know, my life would really be a lot easier if you didn't do all of this so often." When I smile up at him, he adds, "but I know that would never stop you. And I think it's a good thing. I'm just saying…"

"Sure you're life would be a lot easier if we didn't all do all this sorta stuff… but it would also be way more boring."

"I guess. Maybe a boring life isn't all bad!"

"Oh whatever," I say, punching in the arm lightly. "I know you like it, so don't even start."

As promised, Izzy returns with a nice warm coat and a bunch of pillows and blankets, and even some spare clothes with some big bags to carry it all in. We all go back down the street and hand off everything to the man.

He looks at me for a little while, before asking, "you're Clary Fray, aren't you?"

I nod, before asking, "and what's your name?"

"Adam."

I look up and see that it's about to start raining, and feel guilty about leaving him here.

"Well Adam, would you like to stay in a hotel for a night or two? It would be a nice warm and dry place to sleep. You can get room service… whatever else you need. I just hate to see someone my own age sleeping rough."

"I couldn't… you've already been so kind," he says, looking over at the bags.

"I want to - I promise, it's no big deal."

"No that's okay, thank you very much though, for everything else."

"Are you sure. Can I offer you some money at least? So maybe if you change your mind…"

"No, it's really okay. You've been more than generous."

"If you're sure then…" He nods, so I wave goodbye and head back to the restaurant to get lunch with Izzy.

"Oh, I've been meaning to ask you!" I say, "I need help with Jace's birthday."

"His birthday isn't for another month or so?" Izzy says confused. "And you're going to be in like… Norway or something."

"Exactly, but we've just found out that the label has increased our pre-tour press tour because it's our last tour - so it now includes a day in London. We're supposed to fly straight back to New York, because we've got Saturday Night Live, but Magnus has managed to book me a super early flight the next day, which is a complicated way of telling you that I've got about hours on one night. And it's the time closest to his birthday that'll I see him, because we finish Europe in London."

"Right so you've got four hours, a month before his birthday."

"See why I need to make it special?"

"I don't think you understand how much Jace likes just spending time with you. He literally didn't stop smiling after you left until he realised that I'd get to see you again before he would."

"So what you're saying… is we should just go out somewhere simple. No big parties?" I ask.

"While Jace does like big parties… he likes you more."

"Well that clears everything up. Thanks Iz," I say, right as our food comes.

"That's what I'm here for."

Once we finish our meal we head out because I have to get to another band meeting - we're in the final stages of finalising the album, and Izzy wants to see Simon.

I look over and notice Adam watch us, and his eyes seem to be locked on me. We walk in the opposite direction, but after a couple of minutes, I look back and see that he's following us.

"Hey Diego," I say quietly. "That guy - the one we helped before. I think he might be following us."

Diego discretely looks over his shoulder and nods once he sees him. He quickly gets us all in a cab, and we head off to Simon's house. I can't help but watch as Adam's eyes follow the car down the street.

* * *

Ooh, bit of a cliff hanger there. Hope you come back for the next chapter, and hope you enjoyed this one. Hope you all have a great week, and see you at the next chapter.


	49. Chapter 49: Jace's Birthday Surprise

**Chapter 49: Jace's Birthday Surprise**

Thanks everyone for coming back for another chapter - I hope you're enjoying the story so far. I know you might be a bit confused by the title - I know Jace's birthday isn't until January, and I originally planned for this chapter to be a bit different and _in_ January, but when I started posting twice a week it messed up that schedule a bit. I explain it in the chapter though - it's not actually Jace's birthday!

Also touchmymangofuckers, I can definitely include some more Norway :)

Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter :)

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

"Hurry up and get going! And remember - your flight leaves at midnight, and you _can't_ miss it. It's the only one that will get you to New York in time for rehearsals," Magnus reminds me, practically shoving me out of the door.

I get in the car waiting for me and head straight to Jace's hotel. I get a key from the front desk and head up to Jace's room. After knocking on his door, I wait a minute, before he opens it. He's looking away from me, "yeah you can just put the tray on the desk there, thank you. I'll sign for it in one second…"

"I'm not room service," I tell him, and he quickly turns to face me in shock.

"Clary? But how…" he asks, rushing forward and pulling me into the room.

"Well, we had a talk show filming tonight so I figured now would be as good a time as any to celebrate your birthday, seeing as though we're going to be apart on the actual day. I thought we could go out for dinner, maybe get some dessert…"

He smiles down at me and quickly kisses me. "Looks like I need to cancel my room service order," he says, still smiling as he heads over to the phone. Once he's finished, he asks "how long are you in London?"

"I have to get a flight out at midnight, but I thought a couple of hours was better than no time at all," I say, hoping he's not angry I can't stay for long.

"It's a few hours more than I was expecting, so it's perfect. How has everything been?" he asks, while quickly getting changed into something that matches my outfit a little more.

"Yeah everything's been good. We start tour prep soon, but we're mainly promoting the album and tour at the moment. How's the movie going?"

"Well everything's on track, so I'm still good to be back for Christmas," he suddenly stops getting changed, and just looks at me for a moment. "You look good Clary… really good. God, I was expecting to spend another night alone… this is amazing."

"You're not looking too bad yourself, Herondale. But what's going on with this haircut?" I say, looking up at the short straight bangs, "and you've lost a bit of weight I see," I say, poking his stomach playfully.

He begins tying his shoes as he answers, "yeah, turns out David Bowie was less 'God-like Herondale' and more of a skinny dude with some weird haircuts. For me that mainly losing muscle, and going to a hairdresser far more regularly than I'm used to."

"Well, I guess it's just for a role, so I guess I won't hold that against you," I say, sticking my tongue out.

He looks up at me with a loving smile, before standing up and pulling on a navy blazer, "you should see me in full costume. I wear makeup and fake teeth… I'm pretty much unrecognisable. He pulls on a trench coat over the top of his jacket. "So, what's the plan for tonight?" he asks, walking over to me and grabbing my hand.

"Well, I booked us a table at Kitty Fishers at Mayfair, and then I thought we could go for a walk through Hyde Park before coming back for some… dessert," I say, slowly pulling him towards the door.

"And what did you have in mind for dessert," Jace asks with a devious smile.

"I guess you'll just have to be patient and wait… I did hear that good things come to those who wait!" I say, smiling back at him. He kisses me hand, before hailing a cab. I quickly tell the taxi driver the address, before sitting back in my seat, still holding Jace's hand.

"I missed you. I feel stupid saying it - we talk every night, and I it hasn't been _too_ long since I last saw you, but…" I say, playing a lock of his hair.

"I get what you mean. Everything's just easier when I'm with you," he says, leaning into me a bit.

"That's exactly it," I say still playing with his hair, distractedly. "I love you so much. You know that right?"

"I know. I love you too Clary," he says, kissing my hand again.

The taxi pulls up at the restaurant, and we both get out, quickly heading inside to get out of the rain. We're shown to out seats, and after we order, Jace grabs my hand again from across the table, and we just look at each other for a little while. I guess neither of us thought we would get to see each other this much while Jace was filming, but we were still apart for what felt like forever, so it felt important to soak up each moment we were together.

"I'm sorry we have to celebrate your birthday so early, but I wasn't sure when else we would get to do it. I'm not going to see you again until Christmas, and then till you finish filming," I tell him.

"Not that this isn't perfect or anything, but I've actually had a few days open up in a few weeks. I thought I'd come back to L.A. and see you," Jace tells me, rubbing his thumb across my hand.

"Why didn't Izzy tell me! I could've organised a party or something better than this…" I say, annoyed that I could have done something more to show Jace how much I love him. He threw me that amazing party, and all I did was reserve a table.

"This is absolutely perfect. A big party would mean I get to spend less time with you, and that's the last thing I want. And anyway, it was only a recent change to scheduling, so I doubt she would've known last time you two spoke," he tells me.

"Well, maybe now would be as good a time as ever to give you your present," I say, fishing around in my handbag until I find the envelope.

"Clary, you didn't have to get me any presents. Just being with you now is so much more than I thought I was going to get, and it's all I really need," he tells me.

"Well that's good, because this is less of a materialistic present and more of a… trip," I tell him, handing over the envelope.

He eyes it suspiciously before quickly reading over the letter inside.

"It's all already paid for, but it's up to you when you want to go, for how long, and if you want to take me. I promise I won't be offended if you want to go alone. I just remember you telling me ages ago that you wished I could meet your parents, and then I think life got in the way a bit. I guess this is an olive branch, but it's totally up to you whether you use it!" I tell him, unable to tell if he likes the present or not, so I fill the silence with my rambling. I know there's a chance I'm overstepping a boundary, but it was worth a try.

"You got me plane tickets to see my parents?" Jace asks, finally looking up at me.

"Like I said, everything is up to you - you don't even have to go if you don't want to!" I would be the first person to understand not wanting to see your family, "I promise I won't judge. It won't hurt my feelings or anything. I just thought you should have to option, because I know you're more likely to take it then initiate any trip yourself."

"It's perfect - your perfect. And of course I want you to meet my parents. Like you said, life just got in the way a bit. This is amazing Clary, thank you." He looks a bit distracted, as he reads over the letter again. I know it's a lot to spring on him at once, which is why I wanted him to be able to make all the plans surrounding the trip.

He puts the letter inside his coat pocket before turning to me, and grabbing my hand again. A moment later our food comes, and we sit in comfortable silence as we eat. I don't get an opportunity to make sure he's really okay again until we've left the restaurant and are huddled under an umbrella walking through the park.

"I'm sorry if I crossed any lines. I didn't mean to upset you," I tell Jace.

He doesn't look down at me while replying, so I can't see his face. "No, you didn't cross any lines. It's just been so long since I've seen either of my parents. My dad may have been a pretty shit father to me, but I've been a pretty shit son to my mother. I guess I'm just… scared of what she's going to say, or what she's going to be like. But putting it off is only going to make it worse. Going now is the best thing I can do."

He finally looks down at me, and he still looks a bit confused, but like he's figured some things out now.

I check my phone, "well, it's ten o'clock now, which means I've got about an hour before a car is picking me up to take me to the airport. We can talk, or do whatever - it's up to you…"

"Whatever…" Jace says, looking down at me smirking.

"Anything you want - you are the birthday boy after all," I say, letting go of his arm and stepping out into the light rain.

"Well maybe if we went back to my room, I could think of a few things to do…" Jace says, his voice suddenly husky.

"Your wish is my command," I say, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards his hotel, which I can see in the distance.

I'm sitting on the edge of Jace bed tying up my boots. The car had arrived five minutes ago, and if I'm not in it soon Magnus might actually have a stroke. He's already called me a bunch of times.

I turn back and look at Jace, who is leaning against the headboard with the sheets gathered at his waist. His hair is messy halo around his head, and his cheeks are still slightly rosy.

"Don't go," he says softly.

"You know I have to," I say, walking back over to him.

"Five more minutes," he says, with a lazy smile, before pulling me in for a long kiss. When I finally remember that I have to leave and pull back, he looks at me, "I know you don't want to leave."

"I never want to leave you," I say, kissing his neck quickly, "but I have to, or else I may be responsible for Magnus death. I love you," I say, and kiss the tattoo of constellations on his shoulder, "and I will see you at Christmas - just 22 days away."

"I love you Clary," he says, and I finally pull away. It actually hurts to leave him. I hate how clinched it was, but every time I left him, it was like leaving a piece of my heart behind. I quickly flash him a smile before I turn and hurry out of his room so he doesn't see the tears begin to fall.

* * *

Let me know what you thought. Do you like the Clace moments, or do prefer drama more (if you do then definitely come back for next chapter!) Also are there any other relationships you'd like to see a bit more of (romantic or friendship)? Hope you have a great week :)


	50. Chapter 50: Simon's Big Surprise

**Chapter 50 : Simon's Big Surprise**

Thanks for coming back for another chapter, it really means a lot and I hope you are enjoying the story. There is a trigger warning for this chapter - just thought I should let everyone know.

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

I'm blasting music in my gym, running on the treadmill as fast as I can for the last minute. We are officially back on our workout routine for tour, which means that I have to push everything up a step, especially with these shows being longer than they have in the past. Once the minute is over, I slow the treadmill down to a walking pace and start going over the rest of the workout routine my trainer had sent over. Once I'm done with this, I have to move on to an ab workout, and then arms.

We had gotten back from New York early this morning, which meant my workout had been pushed later. Once I finish with this, I have to head to the studio to do a promotional photoshoot, and then we have James Cordon tonight. After the press tour, actual tour prep begins, which is going to be way more intense than in the past.

Not only do we have to choreograph half an hour more than normal, but we have to be comfortable with each additional cover that we're performing each night.

I get off the treadmill and start working through the list of ab exercises my trainer had listed. I'm doing a plank, and beginning to shake hard when I hear a slam from downstairs. I quickly pause my music, and open the gym door.

"Hello?" I call out. After I get no response, I ask, "Simon? Kit? Alec? This is so not funny you guys." Again I get no response, so I headed back into the gym. Maybe it was just something in the background of the song I was listening to. I turn the music back on, but much quieter now, and begin my arm workout.

I'm using the dumbbells when I hear a creak outside the door, and before I know what's happening, someone is opening the door. I throw the dumbells I'm holding as hard as possible, and the man that walked through the door quickly jumps out of the way, causing the dumbbell to hit the wall.

"What the hell!" Simon calls out, quickly looking between me, the dumbbell and the hole in my wall.

"Simon!" I yell angrily. "You just put a hole in my freaking wall!"

"Well you just threw a dumbbell at me," Simon yells back, equally outraged.

"Well what do you expect, sneaking around my house like that. I didn't give you a key so you could prank me!" I say, walking over to inspect the damage in my wall.

"How was I supposed to know you would throw a fucking weight at me? I thought you might scream, maybe punch me. You could've killed me!"

"For all I know, you were some big scary man coming into my house to kill me. I think you should be happy I'm at least _trying_ to defend myself."

"Okay we'll make a deal then," he says. "I'll be proud of you throwing weights when it isn't me on the receiving end. You know what - when it's no one you care about on the receiving end. Think you can manage that Fray."

"Think you can manage not sneaking into my house with the pure intention of scaring me?" I ask, trying not to smile.

"That wasn't my _only_ intention. You said we'd go to the photoshoot together. I was coming to pick up, but could hear your music before I'd even opened the front door. I saw an opportunity and I took it. You know I'm an opportunist," Simon says smuggly.

"I know you're a dick," I tell him, grabbing a towel and wiping away my sweat. "Whatever, I'll be ready to go in a minute. Just don't do that again, okay."

"Yeah well now that I know you throw dumbbells at intruders I won't be doing it again.

I roll me eyes at him, and head into my bedroom to get changed for the day; I can shower on location.

Another day, another workout. As I run, I stare at the hole in my wall. Simon was delighted to tell everyone about our little incident yesterday morning, so now I'm making him pay to fix it. Fair is fair. As soon as I start my ab workout, I'm sure I hear the front door close again. Not wanting another hole in my wall, I decide to go confront Simon this time - who knows, maybe Kit and Alec decided to join him.

"Simon," I yell, heading to the front door. "This really isn't as funny as you think."

I see a man standing in front of my door who isn't Simon at all. I recognise him instantly as the man who had been following me around lately. Adam. I turn and try to run, but he grabs my arm before I'm able to get far, squeezing it painfully. I'm about to scream out when his hand clamps over my mouth. I can feel his arms wrapped tightly around me, and I start breathing deeply to try and calm myself.

"Now, I'm slowly going to let go Clary. Don't yell out, and don't try to run. I don't want to hurt you, but I do have a weapon, and if forced, I'll use it," he whispers into my ear slowly.

I feel a shudder run through my body and slowly nod. Right now I just want to get out of his arms. I'll think about how to try and get away after that. Slowly, he does let go of me, and I step away from him as quickly as possible and turn to face him.

"Good," he says.

"What do you want?" I ask, trying as hard as I can to keep my voice level.

"There's a few things I want, Clary. Things that only you can give me," he says, smiling.

"Do you money? I can go get my wallet-"

"The first thing I want is a picture with you," he says, ignoring anything I said. He pulls a phone out of his pocket, tells me to smile, and starts taking pictures of me. I stand, too terrified to do anything. "I said smile!" he yells as he pulls a small knife out of his pocket.

Even though I'm shaking, and now tears are running down my face, I smile. "Good, good," he says. "I told you Clary; I don't want to hurt you. If you just do everything I say, then we'll both get out of this perfectly fine. Now I want to take some photos together." He walks over to me, and wraps his arm around me again, and begins taking photos of the two of us. Thankfully, once he's finished he moves away from me, and starts flicking through all the photos he's taken. While he's distracted, I begin searching for anything I could use as I weapon, or to send out a help message. I spot my landline on the kitchen bench, and slowly start heading over to it.

"Do- do you want anything to eat or drink?" I ask, thankful that my voice sounds level. He quickly shakes his head, still looking through the photos. As quietly as I can, I call Simon, whose number is on speed dial, and set the phone back onto the bench. I just pray that he picks up.

Adam looks back up right as I move away from the bench. "I don't understand," I say, as clearly and loudly as possible in the hopes that Simon is listening. "I thought you were homeless. I was just trying to help you. Why are you in my house now?"

"I was never homeless," Adam says. "I tried to get close to you for years, but you never noticed me. I went to events and concerts and talk shows. I sent you letters for years - I even managed to call you a few times! I travelled across the country all to try and get close to you. But you never noticed!" He's starting to yell now, so I back away from him as far as I can, until my back hits a wall.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

"But something I noticed was that you always seemed to have time for those who need help. And I realised that was my best chance of getting close to you. I just had to pretend. And it worked like a charm. I've always loved that about you. How you help those who need it."

"Okay. Now you've got your photos. You can go now, right?" I say. I can hear the desperation in my voice, but there's nothing I can do to stop it.

"Oh, no. You see, now that I'm here, I'm not going to go anywhere for awhile. I know it might be a bit of a shock to see me here, trust me, I understand. But I know you'll warm up to me soon. We can finally be together, Clary."

"I don't understand," I say. I'm frozen in place, and all I can do is watch the horror unfold in front of me, and pray that Simon is on his way with help.

"It's simple Clary; you and I are soulmates; we're meant to be together. I know you may not have been able to see it before, but I'm here now," he says, moving towards me.

I press up against the wall as hard as I can, and quickly look around to see if there's a way I can get out.

"Clary I've been watching for years. I know everything you've been through… all the pain with your parents and brother. All the anger that comes with the fake relationships; it's okay. I know you're just pretending with that Jace Herondale," he says Jace's name with so much venom that a whole new wave of fear runs over me. I have no idea what this person standing in front of me is capable of. "But you don't have to pretend anymore," he says, suddenly calm. "Because I'm here now, and we can be together now."

He takes another step towards me, and I know I have to get away now, or I'll truly be trapped. I quickly leap to the side, and I think I've gotten away when I feel him grab my arm and pull me back harshly. I pushes me down onto the ground hard, and quickly leans over me, pinning my hands above my head with his own, and holding my legs down with his. "Oh, no, no, no," I moan, struggling against him, but he's too big, too strong.

"It's okay Clary, I promise this won't hurt," he says, and then leans down and tries to kiss me. I head butt him as he leans down, which causes him to swear loudly. Everything goes a little blurry for a moment, but then I see Adam staring down at me, looking angier than he ever had before. "You like to play rough, eh?" he asks, and then slaps me across the face so hard that everything goes blurry again, and I can taste blood. "One day you'll learn to like it, but I'm fine with this until that day."

He rips my shirt down the front, so now I'm only in my sports bra and exercise shorts. I struggle again, trying to get away, but still, nothing happens.

"Please. Please don't do this to me," I cry out. He reaches down however, and pulls my shorts down, and starts undoing his own pants. I scream out, trying everything to get away from him, when suddenly he's gone, and I can move again. I quickly get up and run away from him, pulling my shorts back up.

Another pair of arms wrap around me, and I try to fight against them, when I hear Simon talking softly, "it's okay Clary. It's Simon. You're safe now." I stop struggling and turn and face Simon. I soon as I see him, I break down, and bury my face in his chest. I want to hide from everything and everyone. From Adam's screams, from the cops taking him away, and from everything that just happened. Simon wraps his arms protectively around me while I sob into his chest.

"Mam, we just need to ask you a few questions." It'd been about an hour since they took Adam away. I'm sitting at my kitchen table next to Simon, Alec and Kit, with a few cops looking at me. I had changed clothes, and someone had made me a cup of tea, which had since gone cold. Staring at the tea, I nod slowly.

"Had you seen the man that broke into your house before today?" One of the cops asks. I nod slowly again, not taking my eyes off the mug in front of me. "I'm going to need some more information than that mam."

"I'd seen him once about a week ago with Izzy, and then again at the airport a few days ago."

"And apart from that, have you had any contact with the man?"

"No. He said he's written me letters and called me before, but I don't remember anything."

"Do you know how he got into your house?"

"No," I say, my voice breaking. I stop for a moment before continuing. "I live in a gated community and my door was locked."

"Do you know what he wanted?"

"He wanted to take photos…" I say. "And he… he… said we were soulmates," I hug myself as I think about what happened next. I can feel the tears running down my face, but can't be bothered to wipe them away. Hugging myself tighter, I finally look up at the police office. "And then he tired to… he wanted to…"

"Okay, that's enough questions here," Alec says suddenly, sounding angry. I flinch when he yells, and he seems to notice, so he quickly lowers his voice. "You got the recorded message of Simon's phone. You can get the security footage… there's no need to ask Clary any more questions.

"Look, I know this isn't easy for Miss Fray, but we're just doing our job. We need to get all the information so we can stop this man from hurting Miss Fray again."

"Well you've asked enough questions for now. I'd be happy to answer anything I can, but done with Clary," Simon says, standing up beside Alec.

"Okay. Adam Nicholson has been taken into custody and will face a trial. He will likely face jail time and you will have the opportunity to take out a restraining order against him. I'm sorry for everything you've had to go through today, but you will get justice," one of the cops says, standing. The other two follow in his lead.

"I'll show you out," Kit says, leading the three officers to the door.

"I don't think… I don't want to tour prep today," I say quietly to Simon, "if that's okay."

"Of course Clary," Simon says, careful not to get too close to me. After I had calmed down before, I had freaked out about him touching me. I didn't mean to hurt his feelings, but I didn't want anyone's hands on me at the moment. "Magnus has already called to cancel. He's also organising extra security on your house right now."

"We have no idea what you just went through Clary, but we're here for you," Kit says, sitting in one of the seats the cops had occupied before.

"Anything you need," Alec adds, "and I'm sorry if I gave you a fright before."

"S'okay," I say, picking at my fingernails.

"I think I'd like to take a shower, but…" I look up at all of them. I see pity written all over their faces, but I don't have to energy to tell them off. "Would someone mind just waiting outside the door. I know it's stupid but…"

"It's not Clary, it's fine. I'll wait outside your bedroom door if you want… give you some space," Simon says softly, and I slowly nod, thanking him.

He slowly follows me up to my bedroom, and waits outside the door. I shut it after me, and lock it for good measure. I grab some new clothes, already wanting to be out of these ones and head into the bathroom. I know it's stupid, but I lock my bathroom door as well. I look at myself in the mirror for the first time. Hair has escaped both of my braid, and is hanging limply around my head. There is still a smear of blood coming from my lip where the skin must have broken earlier. I quickly begin running the shower water, wanting to fog up the mirror as quickly as possible.

I scrub my body until it is bright red, both nothing can get rid of the feeling of his hands all over my body. The feeling of hip lips on my own. Nothing can get the scent of his sweat out of my hair."

Once I see little beads of blood from on my forearm, I turn the water off and slowly dry myself off and change into my new clothes. I get out of the bathroom before I have to look at myself in the mirror again.

As promised Simon is standing guard in front of my bedroom door when I open it, and we head back to the living room in silence. I see a plate of food has been placed in the coffee table in front of me - some fruit and nuts and other food I can pick at. I sit down in front of it, but I've never felt less hungry in my life.

Slowly, I shut my eyes, and doze off.

" _You can't get rid of me that easily, Clary. I'll be here, in your head… forever," Adam says, and then begins laughing._

My eyes snap open, and I let out a yelp.

"Hey, hey… it's okay, it's just a dream," Jace says softly.

Jace.

"Is it really you?" I ask, look at the man sitting on the bed next to me. Usually, I'd know Jace anywhere, but for the past few hours I'd been slipping in and out of consciousness, and I wasn't sure if this was just another cruel trick.

"It's me," Jace says, slowly reaching out to stroke my hair. Before I think about it, I flinch back from him. I can see the hurt in his eyes, and instantly regret it, but I really don't want anyone touching me right now.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

"There's nothing to be sorry about. _I'm_ the one who's sorry Clary." When he sees my confused expression, he elaborates, "I should've been here. Should've known something was going wrong."

"You couldn't have known. And your hear now. How are you here?" I ask. London was over ten hours away. "And where's everyone else?"

"They all went home for the night. But don't worry Clary, your safe. There are a bunch of security guards outside, all the doors are locked… and I'm here. You know I'd hurt you, right?" he asks softly.

I nod quickly as tears spill over, and I can see how hard Jace is restraining himself from leaning forward and wiping away the tears.

"I'm sorry," I say again, starting to find my voice. "You had to come all the way here, and I'm like this…"

"Clary you absolutely nothing to be sorry about. I'm just sorry I could be here sooner, or that it happened at all."

"Would you," I say, slowly moving towards him, "would you hold me. Just for a little while?"

"Are you sure Clary? I'm fine doing whatever you need… but don't do this for me. It's about you right now," Jace says softly.

"I'm sure… I just want to feel someone's arms around me that aren't… his," I say moving closer again.

"Okay Clary," Jace says, barely audible. He opens his arms, and I lean against his chest. I tense a little as he wraps his arms around me, but slowly ease into the embrace.

"I love you Clary," he whispers in my ear. "I love you so much." I lean further into him, but look at the door for a moment, making sure it is actually locked, before slowly closing my eyes again.

I wake up still wrapped in Jaces arms and look out the window, where sun is streaming in. It's a new day.

I look over to my bedroom door, which is still firmly shut, and think about heading to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, but I really don't want to leave the room first, as selfish as that might be.

I must tense up or something, because Jace jolts awake, and quickly looks around the room. Once he's sure there's no danger, he smiles down at me. "Hey Clary," he says, his voice still husky from sleepiness. With his messed up hair and his rumpled clothes, and the way his arms are still lightly wrapped around me, letting me know I'm safe but can easily get away if I wanted to… I know I'm safe with Jace.

I smile back at him - nothing massive, but definitely a smile. His own grows bigger after that.

"Did you want a coffee or something," he asks, slowly unwrapping his arms from around me.

I nod, "I was going to get one before but…"

"It's okay, I'll go out first," Jace says, understanding completely.

He moves slowly but surely towards the door, which he opens slowly, which he opens completely to show me that no one is standing outside. I nod, and then follow him to the kitchen. I sit on one of the stools as he busies himself with making us each a cup of coffee. I look over to me front door, where I first saw Adam yesterday. And then a little further into the house, where he took the pictures of me. And then over the the rug where he almost…

"Clary," Jace says softly but firmly. I slowly look back over to him, trying to shake off the memories, but everything just keeps replaying over and over in my head. "I don't think you should live here anymore. I know you love this house, and built in everything you need… but I don't think it's healthy for you to stay."

"Where would I go?" I ask, trying and failing to keep my voice level.

"You could go live at my apartment. And of the guys are welcome to stay with you there. Or you could stay with one the guys - we talked about it last night; they'd be happy to have you."

"But what about long-term?" I ask. I wanted nothing more than to get away from this house and the memories it now held, but some things just aren't practical.

"I do have to go back to London tomorrow. I'm sorry Clary, but this was the longest I could get off without having to shut down production. But you can stay with me tonight. And you leave for tour soon, and then you won't need a house."

"And after that?" I ask. I know it's not fair to dump all of this onto Jace, but it's so nice not to be the one with a plan for once. To just be told what's going to happen and that everything will be okay.

"Well, I was thinking maybe you and I could move in together. I know it's a big step… but I just figured that's where we were heading anyway. I'd always assumed I'd just move in here, but we could find a new place… maybe even build one. A place that is ours, where we can make our own memories. New, nice memories."

"Like what?" I ask. I need to hear about a future where everything is good again. Where I don't feel like this anymore.

"Well… we could build it with everything we could possibly need. It could have a big kitchen where we can cook together. And a movie room with big, fluffy couches, just waiting for us to snuggle up and watch your favourites. It can have a massive backyard where one day our kids can run around, and maybe a dog or two. Of course it'll have a recording studio and a massive music room with every instrument you could think of. And we could get you a painting room, with white french doors looking out to the view. It'd need lots of bedrooms for all the kids we'll have… someplace big enough to start a family, and be happy."

I smile at him. How long had Jace been thinking about our future. How long had he had this planned out for? "It sounds perfect," I tell him.

His smile grows, but he quickly says, "of course we don't have to do any of it until your ready. And that's all I thought of… obviously there's a lot more to add and talk about but-"

"Jace," I say, cutting off his rambling. "It's perfect. Everything you just said… that's what I want. I want a family… and I want to be with you."

He sighs a breath of relief, and then runs to get my laptop so we can start looking at plots of land. A lot of shitty things may happen in my life, but with Jace to help me, it all seemed bearable.

* * *

There is some cute Clace coming up to help cope with this chapter - I promise. Let me know what you thought of the chapter. Hope you have a great week :)


	51. Chapter 51: To New Beginnings

**Chapter 51: To New Beginnings**

Hey guys. Thanks for coming back for another chapter. I hope you're enjoying the story, and like the chapter.

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

"Are you sure you're ready to start prep? We can wait a few more days - everyone will understand Clary," Simon asks, looking at me like I'm some doll that might break if anything touched me.

"Actually, we can't wait a few more days. We have three weeks, which includes prep for New Years Eve and a Christmas break," I tell him, setting my bag down and beginning to look around at the sketched out stage. It was the first time we were actually getting to see a full scale model. "Not to mention about 200 covers of songs."

"What Simon means," Alec cuts in, giving Simon an irritated look, "is that _you_ can take a few more days. You always pick up choreography faster than the rest of us anyway, and we can start with songs you're on drums for, so you won't really be missing anything."

"What we're saying biscuit," Magnus says, gently putting his hand on Alec's arm, "is that you can take the time you need. We can plan around it."

"I've had some time with Jace, and while it sucks that he had to go back to London, it really helped," I tell them. "I've started seeing a therapist - about more than just what happened, and we've agreed I should get back to routine. Don't think that I'm throwing myself into this to forget about what happened. I haven't - I've made changes to my life. I'm living with Kit, and then Jace and I are getting a new house for when we're both back in L.A. I have constant security when I'm in public, and I've helped Kit up the security in his house. My lawyers have already started preparing for the trail. Now all I need is for the rest of you to move on with me and I'll be fine. And there is nowhere else I would rather be anyway - do you really think I'd rather sit at home alone than play music with you guys all day?"

"Yeah, be cool - be like me," Kit says, ruffling my hair.

"Easy for you to say when your around her all the time - you have nothing to worry about," Simon says. Simon had been hurt when I said I was going to live with Kit once Jace went back to London. A few weeks ago, I probably would've gone to Simon, but Kit and I seem to have bonded recently. Plus, I knew he was the only one that was going to give up the over protective act if I told him to enough, and honestly the last thing I need right now was to be treated differently.

" _No one_ has anything to worry about. And besides, we're all staying over at yours tonight to go over everything that happens today. So we should start rehearsing, otherwise there's going to be nothing to talk about," I say and then begin to put my hair into a bun to signal the end of the conversation.

Tour prep pretty much runs that way for the whole week. We'd arrive early in the morning and work till late at night. Day by day, the guys seemed to realise that there was nothing to worry about. The therapy _was_ really helping, but I had noticed small things that changed. I refused to workout alone, which wasn't a massive problem, because we'd either all work out together, or I'd do it with Kit at his house. I couldn't go to sleep unless I'd double checked that the door and windows were locked and I'd checked the security cameras to make sure no one was outside. I'd been told that it was normal to have these kinds of changes, and that they'd fade away with time, but I should do anything I needed to at the moment to feel settled and safe.

Sunday is the first day that we don't have rehearsals since we began, and so I'd organised with Jace to go look at blocks of land and to meet with our architect. We'd had a big talk and made a list with everything we'd want in a house, and decided it would probably be better if we just built on so it would be the way we both imagined. There wasn't really an issue with time either, as Jace would be in London for a couple more months and I would be on tour, and we could always live in Jace's apartment until it was finished.

I'm sitting in my car in the pick-up area of the airport when I see a mob of photographers surrounding someone walking towards the car. Though I can't actually see him, I assume Jace is in the middle of the crowd and unlock the doors so he'll be able to get in as quickly as possible. My suspicions are confirmed when I see Jace pop out of the crowd and get in the car, quickly shutting the door so there is as little chance as possible for a photo of the two of us.

He leans over and quickly kisses me, before putting on his seat belt so we can leave. He seems distracted enough by all the photographers to notice my flinch.

"How was your flight?" I ask, hoping to avoid the conversation I know he's going to want to have.

"It was good; slept for most of it. How have you been?" he asks. I can see him looking at me, searching my face to see anything I might not say. I don't look back at him, but he can hardly say anything about that, seeing as I am driving a car.

"I'm good - I've been busy though, with tour prep and everything. I'm happy to see you though," I say, quickly smiling at him.

"And I'm happy to see you, but you know that's not what I was asking," he says, not looking away from me. We stop at a red light, and I know he's expecting me to look back now, but I keep my eyes on the road ahead.

"Well," I tell him, "when you ask a question as open-ended as 'how have you been,' it can be difficult to give a specific answer someone is looking for. There are so many different questions you could ask, and answers to give…"

I see him hesitate for a moment before asking his next question. I can tell he knows that I don't want to talk about it, but decides that an answer is more important than my wants. "How have you been since… the break in. And don't give me some bullshit answer - you know exactly what I'm asking."

"You know I don't even know where we're driving. You have all the addresses for the lots of land," I tell him. The light finally turns green again, and I quickly drive off, thankful that I have an excuse not to look at Jace again.

"Pull over," he says. shortly.

"I really don't think-"

"I'll drive. It's easier than giving you directions," he says, and points to a spot I can pull into. I roll my eyes, but oblige and pull into the spot. I go to get out of the car to swap seats with Jace, but he grabs my arm to stop me. I can't help but go tense for a moment, and I can tell that Jace notices this time. "Clary, really - how are you. Please tell me. Going back to London and leaving you here was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I need to know I didn't make a mistake."

I finally turn and face him, properly looking at him for the first time since he got in the car. "I'm getting better," I tell him honestly. "There have been changes - small changes. I'm not sure if anyone else has really noticed, which is good." I look at him, at how open and accepting he is. I've never seen him look at anyone else like that, even when he was acting. "I'm still scared," I blurt out. "I'm trying not to be, but it's hard. I feel stupid for being scared - he's in jail and I have so much security now it's not funny. But I can't fall asleep unless the door is locked. And I can't go into a gym alone, even if I know someone is coming in a minute. And I freak out a little every time someone touches. I don't want to be like this anymore."

"I know. I can't imagine how hard this is for you Clary, but you're being so brave. And it's okay to be scared - I, and everyone else for that matter, completely understand why you'd be scared. What happened to you was fucked up, and it wasn't fair. And I want you to know that I'll do anything, and everything in my power to help you feel better."

I look down at my hands, which are shaking a bit. They seem to do that most of the time, other than when I'm playing an instrument. I hate the feeling of needing people, of depending on other people to be okay. I prefer it when other people need me - which is what I've been used to for years now.

Jace looks at my hands as well, and can see they're shaking. He reaches out to grab them, but then seems to remember what I said about people touching me, because he stops just before holding them. I move my hands forward the little distance that is between them to let him know it's okay, and the moment our hands touch, the shaking stops. I smile a little bit at the calm Jace seems to bring my life, and look up at him again.

"I'll stay here if you want me to. And don't just say no because you're you. Now is your time to be selfish - if you want me to stay, I will," he says, before giving my hands a squeeze.

"You belong in London right now," I say, "and I have people here looking after me. Honestly, I'm okay. I'm getting by, and I really just want to get back to normal life, and that means you have to as well. I'm never going to get better if everyone around me constantly treats me like I'm still sick."

"Okay, but if you change your mind - at any time, just call me and I'll be on the first flight home - or wherever you are at the time," he says. After a moment he lets go of my hands and gets out of the car to swap seats with me so he can drive. I look down at my hands, which have started shaking again now that Jace has let go. I get out of the car and quickly shove them in my pockets so Jace can't see. I'm not going to give him any reasons to make him think he has to say.

We drive the rest of the way in comfortable silence, just listening to the radio. We pull into a massive block of land that isn't too far from my current house. It has an old house on it that we'd probably just demolish and start again. The real estate agent walks us through the house quickly, which pretty much confirms that we'd knock it down, and then takes us out to the backyard. One of the things Jace and I had talked about wanting was a really big backyard - which this house has, and a nice view - which it doesn't.

We visit about four more houses, which all have something wrong with them. They're either on a massive hill, or don't have room for a big backyard, or aren't in a gated community.

The last house we visit before we have to go meet our architect is at Malibu, and we can straight away see that it ticks all our boxes. It has a massive backyard that has a staircase that leads down to the beach - and has views of the beach on one side, and of mountains on the other. It's out of the business of L.A, but close enough that we could go in for work each day. The house that is already on the land is already in they style that we like as well, so we'd only need to renovate instead of completely start again, although that could be an option if we wanted to.

"This is it," I tell Jace. We're standing in the backyard, looking out at the ocean. Jace has his arms lightly wrapped around my waist and his head resting on my shoulder. "I can see us raising a family here. They could learn to surf, and go for hikes. And not get so caught up in everything…"

He kisses me on the cheek. "Then let's go put in an offer. We're not going to find anywhere better than this."

I spin in his arms and pull him down for a longer kiss. "We're going to buy a house together," I say, biting my lip with excitement.

"We sure are baby," Jace slowly unwraps his arms from around my waist and goes to talk to the real estate agent. I stay in the backyard a moment longer, just looking at the waves. I can imagine a future at the house, and almost see the memories we're going to make.

I head back into the house, where Jace is talking numbers with the real estate agent. We'd agreed that Jace was going to pay for everything, and then when it was all done I'd write him a check for half of everything. Until, or even if we ever join our bank accounts, we were just going to split everything 50/50.

They seem to come to some sort of agreement, and she tells us that she'll contact the owners and we'll know by that night if they accept it or not.

We're sitting back where we started that morning, with my in the driver's seat, and Jace in the passenger's seat at the airport. The only difference is that this time I'm dropping him off instead of picking him up.

"I was really hoping we'd get the call before I had to leave again," Jace said, looking sadly over at the airport.

"It's okay," I say, "you'll know by the time you land. It's not too far off. And we're seeing each other next weekend anyway to go visit your parents."

"You know I really thought we were going to have to spend more time apart while I was filming this movie," Jace says. "Thank God I was wrong."

"And then Christmas, and then I'm on tour. And then we're both done and we can take a long holiday on an island where no one can find us," I say, smiling at the idea.

"Nothing would make me happier," Jace says. As he's about to get out of the car, his phone rings. He quickly checks who it is, and then flashes me and excited smile before answering the phone and putting it on speaker.

"Jace Herondale," he says.

"Hi Jace, it's Kate - the real estate agent from earlier today. I've got good news for you… the owners have accepted your offer! Congratulations."

She keeps speaking but I can't hear what she is saying due to Jace's loud cheering. He kisses me before looking at his watch.

"I really have to go, or I'm going to miss my flight. I'll call you when I land, okay. I love you Clary," he says.

"I love you too. We got our house!" I say, barely able to hold in my excitement.

"We sure did; I'll see you next weekend okay." He gets out of the, and yells "I love you," before closing the door and walking towards the airport, still talking on the phone to Kate.

I sit back in my chair. _We're going to have a house._

It's a miracle that I make it back to Kits, because all I can think about is the home that Jace and I are going to build together. I settle myself before walking into Kit's house, where all the guys are sitting on the couch, apparently waiting for me to come home.

I flop onto the couch and let out a sigh, looking across at the blank white wall. _Kit really should get some more art in his house._

"So…" Magnus finally asks, "how'd everything go? What's the deal with the house?"

I look over at all the guys slowly who are all looks at me excitedly. I finally let a smile crack. "We got a house!" I finally yell, jumping up at the same time as all the guys.

I hear them asking about a million questions, and suddenly a bottle of champagne pops up from somewhere. Once we all calm down, I tell them everything about the house and what the architect said. They finally quiet down when I promise to take them all over after rehearsals tomorrow.

This time next year, Jace and I could be drinking champagne in our dream house...

* * *

So that's this chapter all done :) Feel free to leave a review with any questions, comments or suggestions and I'll try to work everything into the story. Hope you have a great week!


	52. Chapter 52: Meet the Parents

**Chapter 52: Meet the Parents**

Hey guys, thanks for coming back for another chapter. Just a quick note before we get started - I know I'm really starting to set up Clary and Jace's future, but most of it will actually happen in the sequel. If you have any ideas about something you'd like to see, let me know and I'll try to work them into the story. Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

 **Jace's POV**

"You know I'd never heard of Idris until I met you. And I'd travelled a fair amount by that point," Clary tells me as we sit in the taxi on the way to my parents house.

"Well to be fair, it _is_ a super small town. I doubt most people in _Europe_ have heard about, let alone someone from Brooklyn," I tell her, looking out the window. It has been over ten years since I'd been back here, and I'd forgotten how green the whole place was. Not to mention all the mountains and lakes. "You'd heard of France before," I say, finally looking back at Clary, "which is about as close as most people get. There's a reason it took two planes and a bus to get here."

"Well I'm glad to finally see where you were raised. It's beautiful here," she says, grabbing my hand almost out of habit, while looking out the window.

"It sure is," I say, not taking my eyes off Clary. Her eyes seem to come alive when surrounded by the greenery of the forests, and they move so quickly trying to take everything in that it's difficult to follow their movement. And her hair stands out so vividly against all the nature…

"Why are you looking at me," Clary says, smiling. She doesn't move, but I can see her looking at my reflection in the window. "Can't handle my amazing looks?"

"Something like that," I say, and look out my window. A big manner type house comes into view which I recognise as the house I bought my parents a few years back. When I realised that the city life of New York was only making my mom worse, and that I could have more control over my career if my father was far away, I did everything I could to get them back here. Part of that was buying them this massive house my father had always admired. Another part was sending them money each month - sort of like an allowance so that my father wouldn't have to work.

The car pulls up out the front, and the driver quickly gets out to get our bags out of the boot. I open up the door for Clary, and stare up at the house I'd never been inside but that my parents call home. Clary grabs my hand, looking up at the house herself. I kiss her on the temple before making my way up the obnoxiously large knocker on the door, and knock a few time.

I step back and wait for someone to open the door, which my mom eventually does.

"Oh, my Jace," my mom says, and she runs up to me to hug me. After she lets go, I step back.

"Mom, this is Clary Fray. Clary, this is my mother; Céline Herondale."

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you Mrs Herondale," Clary says, beaming at my mother. My mother was exactly what you'd imagine a stylish French woman to look like. She'd always had a good fashion sense, and made sure she looked respectable, and now was no exception. Despite her slightly graying hair and the addition of a few wrinkles, she actually looked younger and healthier than the last time I saw her.

"Céline is perfectly fine, dear," she tells Clary, giving her a warm smile. Since moving back from New York, it seems that her French accent has gotten stronger again.

"You look good mom - really healthy," I tell her.

"Well all this cold wind isn't going to help that, is it?" she says, gesturing inside. "Come on, and do get her bags Jace." I watch as she ushers Clary inside, leaving me outside to deal with the taxi driver and our bags. Clary quickly turns and pokes her tongue out at me, before following my mother inside.

By the time I get inside, Clary is already sitting next to mom on the couch, who is pouring the two if them a cup of tea.

"Nice of you to offer me a cup," I say, sitting across from them on a second couch.

"You don't like Earl Grey," Mom says simply, handing a cup over to Clary.

"I still would've liked to have had the option," I say, crossing my arms and looking around the room. It honestly was a nice house, but it was definitely far too big for just the two of them.

"Look at him," mom says to Clary, "already pouting like he's five years old." She looks over to me. "Just because you are with your _maman_ does not mean you have to act like a child."

"I'm not acting like a child," I say, but after a pointed look from my mother, and Clary choking down a laugh, I drop the subject. "Where's Stephen?"

"Your _father,_ " my mom says, putting a heavy amount of emphasis on father; she never liked that I called him Stephen, "went out a little while ago to get some cakes to have with tea. He should be home very soon."

"Well, perhaps we can have some fun before he gets here," I say, standing up and beginning to wander around the room. I know I'm being immature, but I had really been dreading seeing my father again, especially with Clary here.

I hear mom and Clary chatting about something or other, and decided to leave them to get to know each other. I walk back out to the entrance and grab our bags, and search the house in pursuit of the guest bedroom. After a couple of minutes I come across a room that is made up, but pretty bare so I assume that it's our room. I leave our bags and look out the window. I see a Range Rover parked in front of the house that wasn't there before, which I can only assume is my father's car. I sigh before heading back down to the room Clary and mom where in before. One of the only things I could think of that I disliked more than my father was leaving Clary alone with him.

"Jace," mom says as I come back into the room, "Clary was just telling us about the house you two are going to build together."

"Jace has always had an eye for the finer things in life," Stephen says, making room for me on the couch next to him.

"I think you'll find that that's you, actually," I say, reluctantly sitting next to him. Clary gives my an encouraging smile, before turning back to mom, I assume to give her more information about the house.

"I don't know," Stephen says, looking over at Clary. "You seemed to have picked up yourself a nice little piece there."

"Don't say that about Clary," I say, trying to remain calm.

"She's everything I could've hoped for in a girlfriend for you," he says, still eyeing Clary. I don't like the way he's looking at her, and I can tell she's noticed and is becoming uncomfortable, but trying not to show it.

"Why don't you show me outside?" I ask, hoping to get him far away from Clary.

He nods, and takes me out the back so we can walk around the gardens.

"What do you mean she's everything you could've hoped for?" I ask when we're far enough away from the house.

"Well, you've dated a bunch of girls before, but none for very long - nothing that seemed serious." I look over at him in surprise. This is far from the answer I was expecting. "Models, mostly. But Clary - she's connected in a way you've never had before. She's one of the first people you've dated who is at a similar level of fame as you. She's really helping out with the publicity and all that. All I'm saying is that you should hold onto her for a little while more. Really squeeze all the worth out of this one."

I look away and into the distance. That's the answer I was expecting. A normal father would comment on how I seem happier than I have in a long time. How I don't party nearly as much. That I seem healthier, and that I'm taking on more responsibility in my life. That I'm finally growing up. But all my father was concerned about was how much money I could make off Clary, and how much of that he could take.

"She's good for me, you know," I tell him. It's time I finally stood up to my father. "I love Clary more than I knew you could love a person. She's helped me become a man I'm proud to be, and I won't have you talking about her like this. If I see you do _anything_ to her - if you say anything, then we'll leave right away. I'll cut you off, and I'll get mom a house far away from you."

"You wouldn't do that to your own father, would you?" he says, trying to call my bluff.

"Well the thing is _Stephen_ ," I say, putting as much venom into the name as I possibly can, "is that you never really treated me like a son, did you? I was more this _thing_ that you could profit off of. And I'm fine giving you and mom money, because for some fucked up reason, she seems to look past everything you do, and it means you stay away from me. Stay away from Clary and we can keep up that deal."

"Why are you so protective of this one? The little bitch must be good in bed-"

"You say one more thing like that, and I will take my mother and leave. And you will be all alone like you deserve to be. I gave you everything you have, and I can take it away just as easily," I say, before turning and hurrying back to the house. My father makes no move to follow me, and when I reach the house I turn to look at him. He's still standing where he was. I open the door to see Clary and mom looking over a photo album. I must be flushed in the face, because Clary looks up at me concerned, but doesn't say anything.

"And this one was on Jace's fifth birthday. All _mom petit lion_ wanted was to have a bath in spaghetti. So Stephen filled the tub, and that's exactly what he did." She looks up at me, and then out the doors to where my father is still standing in the garden. " _Tu devrais être plus gentil avec lui, ma chère_." (You should be nicer to him, my dear).

"Mom, Clary can speak French, so there's really no point. And anyway, she knows everything," I say, turning the page and smiling down at a photo of me and mom.

"You can speak French?" mom asks Clary, suddenly distracted.

"I could talk a little bit, but Jace has been teaching me. I'm not fluent or anything," Clary says, modest as always.

"I'm glad he's still speaking French at all. And you could try to give your a chance," she says, gently pinching my chin.

"Sure mom, I'll try. Anyway, did you need help with dinner?" I ask, trying to move onto a new topic.

"I was just going to make spaghetti with pesto. It always was your favourite," mom says, smiling at me.

"I can make it," Clary says, and before mom can refuse she adds, "really, it's the least I could do. You've been so kind to have us. I'd like to help."

My mother just nods, smiling at Clary. Clary gets up and heads towards the kitchen.

"I'll be in in a minute to help," I call after her. Once I see Clary go into the kitchen and close the door, I take the photo album of mom's lap and rest it on the coffee table.

"I'm not sure this is the best time to tell you, but we're only here for one night, so I'm not sure I'll have another opportunity."

"What is it Jace?" mom asks, turning towards me to show she's paying attention.

I look towards the door to make sure Clary isn't within hearing range, before telling my mother quietly, "I'm going to ask Clary to marry me."

"Jace," mom says, smiling, "the wonderful. I'm so proud of the man you're becoming. And I'm happy that _you're_ happy with Clary. It's been a while since I've seen you genuinely happy. She's a great girl."

"I think so," I say. "And thanks mom, for… everything. I wanted to get your opinion on something."

"Anything," mom says. She still looks happy, but almost dazed. I'm sure she didn't expect me to get married at all, let-alone this young. "I'm getting a ring made. It's being made at the moment in London, but I'd love to get your opinion on the design. It'll be finished soon, but I'm sure I can get some changes made to it if you think I should."

I take out a piece of paper that has a drawing of the design and a digital picture of what it should look like when it's finished.

"It's beautiful Jace. Simple, elegant. It kind of reminds me of…" she says, touching her own ring with a small smile.

"It's umm… it's based off your ring and Clary's mother's ring. I had a picture of both of them, and I asked them to kind of blend them together. I made some changes, obviously. I made it a bit more simple, and I made it silver. And it's got a bigger diamond, but… you really like it?"

"I love it," she says, looking up from the piece of paper. "And there's no need to be nervous. That girl would say yes to you if you proposed with a candy ring. Congratulations little lion."

"Thanks mom," quickly hugging her. "Anyway, I better get in there and help Clary with dinner."

Just before dinner is served my father comes back into the house, and it takes everything I can to hold back and not go off on him.

Clary and I bring the plates into the dining area, where we all sit. After a little while of silence, mom starts asking Clary about art, which Clary is happy to talk about. I keep an eye on my father, but he keeps his head down, or looks at mom. Seems that I'm finally getting through to him. When we're all finished, mom volunteers Stephen and I to wash up, so I reluctantly head into the kitchen. Clary tells me that she's going to shower, but she'll meet me up in our room.

"Your mother told me that you're planning to propose. Congratulations." Stephen tells me as he's washing up.

He hands me a plate. "Like you really care," I say, quickly drying it and putting it in the cupboard. The faster I can finish this, the better.

"I do care," he says, slowly washing a plate. "I know I haven't been a good dad to you. When you were born, I promised myself that I'd give my son a good future. Maybe I got a little carried away in that goal."

"Right, so was part of the success taking a heap of my money and overworking me?" I ask, trying to keep the bitterness out of my voice.

"Who would have ever guessed that you were going to be successful as you are? I think I got caught up thinking that very movie could've been your last, so you just had to do everything you could. I'm sorry that I pushed it too far," he says, finally handing me the next plate.

"And that explains all the drinking and drugs and gambling how?" I ask, paying particularly close attention to drying the plate.

"It doesn't. And I can't explain that. I can only ask for forgiveness. I don't do any of that anymore, apart from occasionally sharing a glass of wine with your mother. All I can hope is that you become a better man than I am. And you already are a better man. Sure, you may have gone through a rough patch, but I can't help but feel that I influenced that. I'm… I'm sorry. And I'm proud of you."

I look up at him and take the last plate a quickly dry it. "Thanks… dad."

I quickly leave the kitchen and head to the spare bedroom. I open the door a little bit, and see Clary sitting in a chair in front of a vanity with wet hair, and mom standing behind her. I leave the door open a sliver a listen to what they're saying. I know I really shouldn't be eavesdropping, but I can't help it.

"I don't know… you may have heard," Clary is saying, "umm but... my dad died when I was thirteen. And after that my mom just kind of... checked out. And then she died when I was fifteen. So… no one's really taken care of me like this in a while."

"One of the great joys of life is having one's hair brushed," mom says softly.

I hear Clary sniffle a little and I quietly close the door and head into the bathroom to get ready for bed. By the time I leave the bathroom I see mom closing our bedroom door softly.

She smiles at me sadly, "take care of her, Jace. She's tough, your girl, but everyone needs to be taken care of sometimes."

I nod, and quickly kiss her on the cheek before heading into our bedroom to Clary still sitting on the chair in front of the vanity. She smiles up at me through the reflection, and I gently take her hand and lead her to bed.

After a while of stroking Clary's hair, she softly says "I've been thinking." I stop stroking her hair and move a bit so Im able to see her face better. "After everything that's happened… I'd like to help others."

"I don't think I follow," I say gently.

"Well, obviously what happened to me wasn't good," _understatement of the year,_ "but at least I had the resources to deal with it. You know… I got lawyers and a therapist straight away. And it wasn't hard for me to move out of my house… what happened to me happens to so many women, or just other people for that matter… and there's nothing they can do to help themselves. And it's not their fault… if the same thing had happened to me, but I wasn't in the band, I would be in that situation. There would be almost nothing I could do to help myself. I can't imagine being in that position. So I'd like to set up… a foundation maybe? I haven't thought of the specifics yet. But somewhere people can go to get help - whether that be legal, or mental… or just to speak to someone. Or maybe they need help feeling safe again. I don't need to do it straight away, but I'm not that busy at the moment. I can start organising it now and when it's ready… I don't know. If it helps even one person, isn't it worth it?"

I nod, "I think so. And I'll do anything you want to help. You're amazing Clary."

"I'm not doing it to be amazing… I just… am in a position to be able to do it," she says, leaning back into me.

"I know," I say, as I begin running my fingers through her hair. "But you still are."

* * *

Hope you liked that chapter! I tried to work in some French, but I don't actually speak any so if there are some mistakes please let me know! Also, if there's something you'd like to see in this story, or in the sequel let me know! Hope you have a great weekend!


	53. Chapter 53: I've Got a Question

**Chapter 53: I've Got a Question**

Hey guys. Thanks to everyone who has been leaving reviews on the story :) Anyway, hope you like this chapter.

* * *

 **Jace's POV**

I get off the plane with a nervous feeling in my gut. It'd been there for days - pretty much since I'd left mom and dad's. I know it's old fashioned, but I wanted to get Luke's permission before I asked Clary to marry me. I wasn't even sure when I was going to do it yet, or how I was going to do it, but I thought this was a good first step. I take out the piece of paper that has Clary's loopy writing on it, listing an address. I read over the line once more, even though I already have it committed to memory. Maybe this piece of paper is the real reason I'm nervous; I like Luke, and I'm pretty sure he likes me too. But if I go to this address, it could open a can of worms I may never be able to clean up. What is behind this address could make Clary hate me, or love me more. It's a gamble, and I'm still not sure what I'm going to do.

I get in a cab and head straight to Luke's house. I'd called a few days ago to let him know I was coming, and though he sounded confused, he said I was welcome. The car drops me in front of a bookshop in Brooklyn, and I get out and calm myself before heading in.

There is a girl standing behind the counter who looks around my age. As I drop my bag on the ground, she looks up to greet me, but the words get caught in her throat once she realises who I am.

"Uh, hi," I say, unsure how to go about all of this. Usually I'm so confident, but with this question weighing on my mind, I can't be sure about anything until it is answered. "Is Luke Garroway in? I… told him I'd be coming by."

"You're Jace Herondale, right?" she says so confidently that it's barely a questions.

Nonetheless, I answer, not sure what else I should do. "Oh, ah, yeah. That's me." I hold me hand out for her to shake.

"I'm Maia Roberts. And Luke's upstairs. I can let him know you're here if you want," she says, already moving away from the desk in front of her.

"Oh, that would be great, thanks," and then as an afterthought, I add, "Maia." She turns and smiles at me, before heading up a winding staircase to what I assume is an apartment above the shop.

I hear shuffling above me, and a moment later Maia starts walking down the steps, followed closely by Luke.

"Hey Jace, come on up. I was just making a pot of coffee," Luke says, gesturing up the stairs. "I'll fix you a cup."

I grab my bag and start following Luke, calling out a thank you to Maia.

Luke's apartment is small, but filled with older furniture, pictures all over the walls and a fire burning. I don't think I've ever been anywhere that felt more like a home.

"You like milk, sugar?" Luke asks from the kitchen.

"Ah... just some milk please," I call back. I gently place my bag next to the stairs and head further into the living room. When I said the house was filled with pictures, I meant every wall, with about as many frames as you could possible fit. I walk over to one wall, where I see a bunch of pictures of Clary as a kid. She's with Simon in some of them; somehow looking even geekier. In others she's with, whom I assume are her mother and brother. She's smiling in every single photo.

I hear Luke set the mugs on the coffee table, so I quickly turn to face him.

"I used to own a farm house upstate…" Luke explains, smiling at the pictures I was looking at. "We'd go up there every summer for a couple of weeks… when Clary's father wasn't home. Some of my happiest memories were made at that farm house."

"Why'd you sell it?" I ask, sitting down on the couch behind one of the mugs.

"Clary needed help with the bills. After her father died, a lot of pressure fell on her shoulders, and she was so young. So I did what I could to help. It meant I could help her if she didn't make enough in a month, or if I needed to take a couple of days of work when Jocelyn was really bad. Clary has a lot of pride, but everyone needs help sometimes; especially thirteen year old girls who just lost their father."

"Sorry I asked," I say, noticing how unhappy he looked.

Suddenly, his happy face reappears. "You didn't know. Anyway, what can I do for you Jace?"

"I need to ask you a question... " I say, trying hard to maintain eye contact.

"Go ahead," Luke says kindly.

"Well… I wanted to ask Clary… if I could have your permission," since when did I get tongue tied like this?

Luke smiles and moves a little closer to me, "I think I know what you're trying to ask. And yes; you have permission to marry Clary." I feel that nervous pit in my stomach release a little. "Not that need it. You're a good man, and she's been happier this past year since… well probably her father's funeral. I know you'll treat her right."

"Thank you, so much Luke. You have no idea how much that means to me." He gives me a bit of a confused looks, so I explain further. "I mean to have your permission, obviously… but it's also...the way Clary talks about you - the way all the guys do really, it's hard not to look up to you. The few times I've met you, you've been so warm and accepting: I guess you're the type of man I want to be when I'm older. You just seems to have this… aura of calmness and authority around you."

"Thank you for saying that Jace. But you're already a good man. And I'm sure you have some better role models closer to you."

"Not really… I kind of lucked out in the father department." When I realised what I just said, I quickly start to back track. "Not that I think of you as a father, it's just… maybe I wish my father was a little more like you…"

"I get it Jace, it's fine. Clary once told me that I'm like a man with a lot of kids, but no actual children. I'm just glad I can help you all when you need it. Not a lot of people get that honour… so if you ever need anything, give me a call." He nudges me with a small smile, "I've been told I give good advice."

"I also wanted to get your opinion on something…" I say, reaching into my pocket. "I found Clary's mothers ring once, and I have pictures of my own mothers ring, so I designed Clary a ring based off the two. I made a few alterations, but…" I open the box and show the ring to Luke.

"May I?" I asks, indicating the ring. I nod and hand over the box. He looks at the ring a little closer, and I assume he sees the inscription because he smiles, before closing the box and handing it back to me. "Clary will love it. She's never been too materialistic; she prefers things with memories attached - something that has meaning and thought behind it. She's going to love it."

"Well I've actually got one more house to visit before I have to go to work, so unfortunately I have to leave, but it as great seeing you Luke, and thank you… for everything." I say, holding my hand out for Luke.

Luke quickly shakes my hand, before pulling me in for a hug. " _Thank you_ ," he says, while still hugging me, "for everything you've done for Clary. You're lucky to have each other."

I hug him for a moment longer, before I pull back, and grab my bag. "Oh - and tell me how the big day goes," Luke says, before walking me down stairs and to a cab.

"Where to?" the driver asks.

 _Where to?_ I could just go straight to work - no one would be angry that I'm early. I take a deep breath, and recall the address I'd read a hundred times over. As we approach, my nerves begin to grow. I pull out the ring, and tell myself that I'm doing this for Clary. _Maybe you're doing this_ to _Clary._ I quickly forget the thought, knowing that if I let doubt start to creep in, I'll never go through with it.

The cab pulls into a curb in front of a small house. I thank the driver and distractedly hand him a couple of notes, before getting out of the car. I hear the car leave, but I'm still staring at the front door. I could still go back. Nothing's happened yet - Luke gave me his permission. I don't really _need_ anyone else's.

I take a deep breath before walking up to the front door and knocking. There's a moment when I consider running away, pretending I never came, when the door opens. I women open it, holding a child with green eyes the exact same shade of green as Clary's. As those eyes stare at me, I know I've done the right thing.

"Oh my God - you're Jace Herondale!" the lady exclaims, her eyes widening in shock.

"You must be Mrs Morgenstern, it's a pleasure to meet you," I say, trying to stay calm. Maybe this was a mistake.

"Why are you here?" she asks, still in shock.

"I was hoping I'd be able to speak to your husband," I say.

"How do you know Jon?" she asks. I'm about to explain, but I hear a male voice from within the house.

"Honey, who is it?" he calls.

"It's Jace Herondale," she calls back, her eyes never leaving my face.

A man I'd seen only in a few photos appears next to the women. He looks nothing like Clary, except for those goddamn eyes.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you Mr Morgenstern. I'm Jace - I was hoping I could talk to you for a little bit." I say, trying to stay calm and respectful. I know he doesn't deserve it after everything he'd done to Clary, but he was still her brother.

"Ahh sure. We'll talk outside, honey, maybe you could make us some coffee?" He says, clearly also shocked. I think his has less to do with my celebrity status, and more to do with the connection I have to a life he tried to forget.

Jon leads me to a small table and chairs that they have in the backyard, and offers me a seat.

"Is everything okay with Clary?" he asks quickly, but quietly.

"Why are you whispering? And if you thought something was wrong with Clary, why didn't you ask me before?" I know I wanted to be polite, but if what I think is true, that was about to become a lot harder. He doesn't answer the question, instead just looking at me unsettled. "She's fine. At least now she is," I say shortly. "I came here to ask you a question, but the two minutes I've spent with you has already answered it for me; I don't even have to ask you. If you don't want anything to do with Clary, then she shouldn't have to have anything to do with you."

"It's not that I don't want anything to do with her," he begins, but his wife comes into the back yard, she's carrying two coffee cups, and places them down in front of us with a big smile. I thank her, and she actually giggles. She seems to remember that her husband is sitting in front of her, and quickly leans down and whispers something to him. He excuses himself and goes into the house, slowly followed by his wife.

I look around the yard for a minute - everything dead due to the cold New York winter, before Jon returns holding his kid, who looks like they had just been crying.

"Sorry, where we?" he says, bouncing the baby on his knee.

"Oh, you were just explaining how you _haven't_ completely abandoned your sister," I say, with as much spite as I can throw into it.

He looks at me guiltily, "it's complicated. Of course I want her in my life - she's my baby sister. But I don't think she wants me in her life after everything I did. And now I have a wife and a kid to think about..."

"Oh, you were sure thinking about them when you sold her out, weren't you?" I ask, starting to get angry. It was definitely a mistake coming here.

"Yeah, I was. I know it was a shitty thing to do, but I didn't see any other options at the time. We all have to support our families somehow," he says, trying to look strong, but I can see straight through him. The bastard is scared of me, and rightfully so. If he wasn't holding that baby as a shield, I probably already would've jumped him.

"By tearing down your existing family, apparently. Nice move with the baby shield by the way," I say, getting up ready to leave.

"This is Adele," he says, calmly. _Clary's middle name_. I look down at the baby, with those bright green eyes that I thought about every single day. If for nothing other than Clary's niece, I sit back down.

"Why do you deserve to be back in her life?" I ask.

He looks shocked at being asked such a straightforward question, but answers none-the-less, "I probably don't. I know I fucked up - more than once. God - I fucked up before she even left. But I'm ready to make amends. I just want to have a sister again."

"Well I can't speak for Clary; and I'm not going to tell her I came here - it's up to you to reach out to her, but I know she's made a new family. She already has brothers. So you better try goddamn hard, because she's moving on, quickly."

I get up, ready to leave again, before Jon calls out, "why'd you even come here. Just to make me feel shitty."

I take out the box from my jacket pocket, and hold it between my thumb and pointer finger. "I actually came to ask your permission to marry Clary, as her last blood relative. But now I see that blood is _all_ that ties you two together. Your _wife_ doesn't even know your related - so why should you get any say in the matter?"

I turn and finally leave his house, wondering the streets for a little bit before I can get a cab. It's up to me to give Clary a better family, and that all starts with one question.

* * *

Well... that was a bit of a tense chapter. I hope you enjoyed. Leave me a review to let me know what you thought! Hope you have a great week, and I'll see you at the next chapter :)


	54. Chapter 54: The 5 Days of Christmas

**Chapter 54: The 5 Days of Christmas**

Hey everyone. Thanks for coming back for another chapter, and for all of your lovely reviews on the last one. I know this chapter is a bit shorter, but there is an important announcement at the end of the chapter, so it'd be great if you could read that when you're done. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

"So, you've all been called into this meeting to discuss your social media presence," one of the marketing executives tells us.

"What about it?" I ask. I'd been asked multiple times to post more across all social media platforms, but I hadn't given in yet, and I wasn't about to.

"Well, you all have a large following across all platforms, but particularly on instagram, which is where we want you guys to share more. Now, Kit and Simon are quite good at posting, and we encourage you to keep it up, but-" the exec begins, but is cut off by Simon.

"Cut all the professional talk. Alec and I have a flight to New York in two hours that we're not missing - what do you want us to do?"

"Well," our publicist says, standing up and walking over to a screen with some graph on it, "data shows that fans respond best to instagram live videos. It gives them a chance to communicate directly with whomever they look up to, and they see it as a more relaxed and open way of communicating."

"So you want us to do some of these instagram live things. Great - you could've sent that in an email," Alec says, sounding deeply annoyed. The last thing Simon and Alec needed was to be called into the office on a Sunday morning.

"There's a little more to it than that," she smiles, and moves onto the next slide on her power point. "We'd like you to do a 'five days of Christmas'. Starting tomorrow, one of you per day will go on the bands instagram page and do a live video, that should last for at least half an hour. In the video, you should answer some fans questions, talk about what you're doing that day… maybe show them something Christmassy in your house. It's really up to you, but we want you to discuss who is doing what days so there is no confusion."

"Whatever, let's get this over with. I'll do tomorrow," Alec says, already standing and walking over to his suitcase.

"I'm good to do the day after," Kit says, meeting Alec next to the door.

"I'll go after," Simon quickly says, flashing me a smile.

"Guess I'm going last," I say, knowing there's no way I'm getting out of this.

"Great, that wasn't too hard at all!" she says, obviously thinking we'd resist more. "There's just one more thing. I heard that you're all spending Christmas day together - we'd like you to do one final video on Christmas all together. It doesn't have to be too long or anything, just something to let your fans know you're thinking of them."

"Is that all then?" Kit asks, eager to get out of the meeting.

"Just one more thing," the publicist says, walking over to us. "You need to post on your personal instagram that you're going on the band instagram a little bit before you do. We want people to be ready for it!"

"Whatever, sounds good," Simon says, clearly bored and ready to leave.

I nod at her before heading out to my car. I'd said I would drop Simon and Alec at the airport, so everyone piles into my car.

"What'd you think about all that, Clary?" Simon asks, knowing how much I hate making a big spectacle of myself on social media.

"I think they forgot you're Jewish, and don't really celebrate Christmas," I say, smiling at him in the rear-view mirror. He just rolls his eyes, clearly hoping to get a bigger reaction out of me.

"Look, the album is selling well - really well actually, and if this is what it takes to say thank you for that, then whatever," Kit says.

"My thoughts exactly, Christopher," I say, quickly looking over at him just in time to see his over the top reaction to the use of his full name. It never gets old.

I pull into the drop off area at the airport. "We'll see you at Kit's on Christmas," I call out as Simon and Alec get out of the car.

As I'm pulling out of the parking spot, Kit asks "and why does it have to be at my house again?"

"I've explained this one hundred times already!" I say. When he just shrugs I explain it one last time, "because Simon and Alec will be in New York until Christmas day, so it can't really be in their house. My house has already been sold, so I can't host a big ass Christmas party in it, and you said you wouldn't drive out to Malibu for a Christmas party, so we can't do it at my new house. Jace's apartment is too small for the amount of people coming. Naturally, that leaves your house."

"Whatever…" Kit says, playing with the radio.

I slap his hand away, "it's not like you're even planning any of it. I've ordered all the food, decorated our whole house and will be doing the majority of the cooking. You even said you like baking! And that's all you'll be doing anyway."

"I said whatever," Kit says, drawing out each word like a moody teenager.

"What's up your butt?" I ask.

"I don't know. It just doesn't feel like Christmas," he says.

"And what makes you say that?" I ask, waving to some people through the window. Thankfully, the light turns green before they can take a picture. The last thing I need at the moment is rumours that I'm cheating on Jace with Kit.

"I don't know. We're just working so much more than normal. And we're usually all together around Christmas."

"Well," I say. Honestly I agreed with him - it didn't feel like Christmas this year, but I wasn't going to let him know that. "We're still here because someone had to stay in L.A. to deal with anything that might come up, and we didn't think it was fair to leave just one person behind. And we're working more because we're about to go on tour - I last tour I might add. It'll feel more like Christmas when everyone gets here."

I pull up to Kit's house. "I'm sure you're right," he says, getting out of the car.

"I always am!" I call after him.

"Besides," I say, dumping my keys on the kitchen counter and taking a juice out of the fridge, "is there anyone you'd prefer to spend a week with? If you have to work all week with just one person, I think you should be pretty happy it's with me!"

"First of all," Kit says, grabbing a bag of chips, "it's only five days. And second - I really don't think you want me answering that question!"

"Okay well, I was about to suggest we go out and buy a Christmas tree after rehearsals today, but maybe I've changed my mind now!"

"You know I was kidding!" Kit says, suddenly realising what is at stake. "Who else could I possibly want to live with, _alone_ , for five days? Come on, you're my best friend!"

"I'm really your best friend?" I ask, turning to face Kit quickly.

"Well I mean… sure. You're definitely one of them!"

"Fine… fine. We'll go shopping after rehearsals - but just because I'm your best friend. You coming down to the gym?"

"Yeah, I'll be down in a minute. I've just got to get changed," Kit says, heading off to him bedroom.

"Oh yeah, me too," I say looking down at my outfit. I clearly was ready for my workout, but I head to the bathroom anyway and slowly take my hair out of its bun and brush it. I then split it into two sections and begin slowly braiding them, taking my time to make sure they are tight and neat. After about ten minutes, I head down to the gym, where Kit is already stretching.

He looks up and nods, acknowledging me, before continuing to stretch.

After our workout, we head to the stage space we'd rented for rehearsals and work with the choreographer for a couple of hours, before just going over some of the covers. It wasn't as helpful without all four of us here, but Simon and Alec were meant to be rehearsing in New York, and any practice is better than none. I had also missed a day of rehearsals when I went to meet Jace's parents, so I have to get all caught up on that.

After that, as promised, Kit and I head to a shop that is selling Christmas trees. Naturally, Kit picks out the biggest tree he can find, and it takes a little while to strap it to the roof of my pick up truck, because it doesn't fit in the tray. It then takes us about twenty minutes to figure out how to get inside with just the two of us, and another little while to actually get it standing and in a nice position.

After that, Kit starts blasting Christmas music, and gets out the eggnog for us to drink while we decorate the tree. After we've got lights and ribbons and everything on it, we step back and look at our handy work.

"I think this is the prettiest tree you've done yet," I tell Kit.

"That would be the eggnog talking," Kit says, and then makes a point of draining his glass.

"I don't know if I've said it, but thanks for letting me stay here," I say. Maybe it is the eggnog talking; Kit makes it pretty strong.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather you be," Kit says, putting down his glass and grabbing my hands. Kit is a good dancer at the best of times, but once he's had a bit of alcohol, it really seems to loosen him up. He dances me around the house, spinning me and dipping me, until he accidentally drops me, and we both end up laying on the ground, with our stomachs hurting because of how hard we're laughing.

We eventually end up back in front of the tree, sitting on the floor and looking at the lights.

I look over at Kit who is staring dreamily up at the tree. I nudge his shoulder and he looks over at me with a tired smile.

"What would you usually do at a sleepover?" he asks me.

"You know as well as I do that I've never really had any girl friends, so if your asking what Simon and I used to do when we were younger… it was all pretty basic. We'd read Manga, watch movies… choreograph dance."

"Well I don't know! I'm bored," he says, laying on his back and crossing his arms.

"I could paint your nails? I was going to mine tonight anyway," I suggest.

He sits back up and looks at me, a small smile forming. "What colour are you going to paint yours?"

"I was going to do green - for Christmas. But I have a bunch of colours. I could do black or red or a sparkly one… it might just be easier for me to go get the bag," I say. I go to the bathroom and come back to the bag filled with all my nail polish and empty the bag in front of Kit.

He carefully sorts through all of the colours, before deciding he wants me to alternate between red and green, "so I can really get into the Christmas spirit."

After I paint both of our nails, we decide we should just go to bed early, because we have to rehearse all of tomorrow.

"Night Clary," Kit yells, as he goes into his bedroom.

"Love you Kit," I yell back with a smile on my face.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed that. Now for the announcement: just like in the story, I will be doing a five days of Christmas, so come back each day for a new chapter on what each person is getting up to. The POV will be in whose ever go it is to do the Instagram live that day, so come back tomorrow for the Alec chapter! Hope you like the idea, and hope you have a great day.


	55. Chapter 55: Day One - Alec

**Chapter 55: Day One - Alec**

Hey guys, hope you enjoy the chapter!

* * *

 **Alec's POV**

"Alec! Alec, wake up!" is the first thing I hear when I wake up. It's quickly followed by the feeling of little feet jumping all over me.

"I'm awake Max," I say groggily, covering my head. He does one last jump, before sitting down on the other pillow at the head of my bed.

"Is Clary coming? Is Jace?" Max asks excited, trying to pull my arms away from my head.

I finally let him pull my arms away, "Are Izzy and I not good enough for you?" I ask, reaching up to ruffle his hair.

He quickly sets his glasses right again. "What! No - you guys are great-" Max begins, looking genuinely concerned that he's hurt my feelings.

"It's okay Maxxie. And no, they're not coming to New York - but you'll see them on Christmas day. We're all going to L.A. remember?"

"Did you know that they're dating?" he asks me, looking shocked, but impressed that he knows this information.

"I did know that, funnily enough," I say, finally sitting up myself. There's really no point in trying to get more sleep if he's in this mood. "Anyway, should we go get some breakfast before Iz decides she wants to cook for everyone?"

Max nods quickly, running out of the room to, I assume, the kitchen. I head down after him, and see that he's already started pulling out ingredients for pancakes. "And mom bought bacon," he tells me, "so we could cook that up too!"

"Sounds great," I tell him, heading over to the bookshelf with cookbooks on it. It's probably something I should know how to cook by now, but Clary is always the one who ends up cooking the pancakes.

Once I find the book I hand it to Max so he can find the recipe he wants to make.

"You want something to drink?" I ask him, heading over to the coffee machine.

"I don't like coffee, _and_ it's not good for you," he tells me shortly.

I smile at him, "you don't have to have coffee. I can get you juice, or milk - whatever you want."

"Mmmm," he thinks about my offer, "no, I'm okay thank you! But let's start cooking!"

"What are you guys making?" Izzy asks, coming into the kitchen.

"We're making pancakes and bacon!" Max tells her excitedly.

She ruffles his hair, "can I help?"

Before Max has the chance to say anything, I quickly cut in, "it's brothers only. No sisters allowed. Sorry!" She pokes her tongue out at me, "but feel free to make me a cup of coffee."

"I think I'll make _myself_ one," she says, and walks over to the machine.

"Oh hey," I say, "before I forget, would you be able to help me with something today. I've got to do this Instagram live thing. I think it would be better if I could have someone else film it."

"You sure it's not a brothers only thing?" she asks, taking a long sip of her coffee.

"It's _really_ not," I tell her, "it's like a thousands of people thing - and I don't want to embarrass myself."

"Maybe you should have thought about that before," she says, smirking. As she walks out of the kitchen she yells, "call me when breakfast is ready!"

"Come on Maxxie. Let's make some pancakes," I sigh

After everyone has finished their breakfast, mom makes Izzy and I clean up - which I try to argue against considering I cooking pretty much all the food, but 'since I'm the oldest, I have to take responsibility'.

As Iz and I are washing up, I make sure no one else is in the kitchen before telling her, "I'm going to introduce Magnus to mom and dad tonight."

"They already know Magnus. He's been your manager for like, six years," Izzy says, looking at me like I'm stupid.

"I'm going to introduce him as my boyfriend," I clarify.

"Oh," Izzy says. "That's a big step."

"Well otherwise I would just have to tell them on Christmas day. And telling them now means they'll have a couple of days to get used to the idea _before_ Christmas, so hopefully it'll be less awkward for everyone at the party."

"Dose Magnus know?" Izzy asks, putting down the sponge and facing me.

"Yeah. It's why he is coming to New York today. I'm going to go pick him up and then take him and mom and dad out to dinner."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Not with mom and dad; I think I need to do that myself. But… I'd really appreciate it if you could help me tell Max. I want him to hear it from me, but I need to tell him after mom and dad in case he lets something slip."

"Of course I can help with that," Izzy says, picking up the sponge and starting to wash a pan. "Looks like you have your day all planned out."

"That's only the half of it," I say, taking the pan to dry it. "I have to do that Instagram thing, and then I have to meet Simon to rehearse all day-"

"Shit! Simon. Mom and dad don't know I'm dating Simon," Izzy says, colour draining from his face.

"I don't think it's too big of a deal," I tell her. "Mom and dad like Simon… most of the time."

"Yeah, but they've always said they want me to date someone… I don't know, like lowkey. Simon is pretty much the opposite of that!" she tells me.

"Look, you know what. We can help each other, okay. We'll tell them both at dinner tonight, and I'm sure they'll be so shocked at me for dating Magnus that they'll barely notice you're dating Simon."

"You'd really do that for me?" she asks, some colour coming back into her face.

"Of course," I say, tugging on her hair softly.

"Well then maybe I can help you with this Instagram thing," she says.

"Uhhh… okay! Hey everyone. Ahhh… welcome to the first day of the five days of Christmas. I'm currently in New York with my family for the holidays. I thought that I could show you the Christmas tree, and then maybe answer some of your questions?" I say, totally unsure about everything I'm doing. In theory, all of this was normal, but now that I was actually doing it, it felt totally unnatural, which Izzy helpfully points out.

"You're so awkward!" she whisper yells. "Loosen up a bit - just imagine that your talking to only one or two people."

"How many people am I actually talking to?" I ask. Hopefully it's more than one or two.

"That doesn't matter - and just get on with it," she says back.

I lead Izzy, who is filming on my phone, over to the Christmas tree which I sit down in front of. After that, she reads out some of the questions that are being asked, and I answer them as well as I can.

"Okay, well that's all I'm going to do today. You can go onto Kit's account tomorrow for a similar sort of thing with him, and you can catch me again on Christmas day with everyone else! Have a great day and happy holidays" I say, glad that it's finally over.

"You know that was actually pretty good towards the end there," Izzy tells me, ending the video.

"What can I say - I'm a natural in front of the camera."

"Right, and I only wear flat shoes," Izzy replies.

"Whatever, it's over now." I say, dismissing her.

"Yep, now all that's left is dinner with dear old ma and pa," Izzy says wistfully.

"You just had to remind me! You know I was actually starting to feel good about today," I say, falling onto the couch.

"Well, what can I say… reality's a bitch. Anyway, we've got to get dressed because we're picking Simon and Magnus up on the way, and we really should be there early. You know how dad likes punctuality."

"I was just going to wear this," I say, closing my eyes hoping to fit a nap in before dinner. Sometimes it's nice imagining things that are never going to happen.

"Ahhh… sorry Alec, but I'm not sure they let in people whose jeans were once black and now barely pass for grey, and whose jumper has more holes in it than a piece of swiss cheese. And I think you could use a shower."

"Well, I don't really know what you expect from me, but I don't own anything much different. And I showered after rehearsal!"

"God you're so lucky to have us…" Iz whispers under her breath. "Magnus obviously bought you new clothes for the dinner - they're in your bag. He told me that he bought them, I just didn't know the occasion."

I reluctantly follow Izzy upstairs, where she pulls out a pair of chinos and a navy dress shirt. "You should wear them with your brown boots and a belt - I'll meet you downstairs shortly," Izzy tells me, before leaving to get dressed herself.

Half an hour (and a fair amount of yelling from Izzy about not having enough time) later, we're sitting in a cab on our way to pick up Magnus and Simon.

"I really hope tonight goes well," Izzy says, applying last minute make-up.

"That makes two of us," I reply. I repeatedly take my watch off and put it back on, until Izzy slaps it away.

"Stop that - you're going to break it. And anyway, we're pulling in."

I look onto the footpath, and sure enough Magnus and Simon are standing there waiting to get into the cab. Magnus sits next to me and Simon gets in the front.

"Hello Alexander. I knew that shirt would bring out the blue in your eyes," Magnus says very quickly and then kisses me.

"Umm… hey Magnus. You look… good too," I say, thrown off guard.

"Thank you. Isabelle," he says, looking over to Iz, "looking gorgeous as always."

"Thank you Magnus. Is that a new hair gel?" she asks.

"Longer lasting," he answers, touching one of his glittery spikes. "With my job you never know how long you might have to go without getting to touch up." Izzy nods back like she completely understands this problem.

By the time we reach the restaurant, I'm still trying to figure out how Izzy could tell Magnus was wearing a new hair gel just by looking at him.

"We all ready for this?" Simon asks before walking into the restaurant.

Everyone replies various versions of 'no', before following him into the restaurant.

Mom and dad are already sitting at the table by the time we arrive, and they look almost relieved to not have to talk anymore.

"Izzy, Alec. It's good to have you both home," mom says, standing up to great us.

Once we're all seated, dad says, "I didn't realise we were bringing friends," eyeing Simon and Magnus.

"Well they were both in town-" I begin, but Izzy quickly interrupts me.

"Mom, dad. Simon and I are dating. We have been for a few months now and we're very happy."

"And does that mean…" dad asks, looking at me, and then Magnus, and then back to me. I nod at him. "Well that's just great, isn't it. Both of my children… finally in relationships," he says but doesn't sound too happy.

"As long as everyone is happy," Mom says, trying to break the tension.

Dad doesn't break eye contact with me however, and very slowly, very subtly shakes his head. He doesn't approve. Once, that would have shattered me, but something takes over. "You know what dad, it's not my problem that you can't accept me for who I am. It's yours. And if you can't see how happy I am with Magnus - the happiest I've been in a long time, then I don't know what to tell you. But I love Magnus, and if that makes you uncomfortable, then I'd be more than happy to leave."

I then stand, and grab Magnus hand. "I'll see you guys tomorrow," I tell Simon and Izzy. "Mom, it was good seeing you. I'll call you and we can arrange a time to meet - just the two of us." And then I walk out of the restaurant, still hand in hand with Magnus.

"Alec… where did all of that come from?" Magnus asks.

"It's just been such a long time since he found out about me ... and at every step he's not accepted me. I think it's time that I stop trying to please him. If he can come 'round - great. If not, then I don't need him in my life. I'm sorry if that made you uncomfortable."

"I've never liked the way your father treated you… and that was… maybe we could go back to my hotel room?" Magnus asks.

I'm about to agree when I hear someone calling out my name.

"Alexander," mom calls, coming out of the restaurant.

"Mom?" I ask, confused.

"Alec, Magnus - I really am happy for you two. I don't want you to think that just because your father is having a difficult time… I'm glad you two are happy."

"Thanks mom," I say, completely shocked.

"And I was hoping… if you didn't have plans tonight, that you would come home." she says, "we could have some tea and just catch up. I've told Simon and Isabelle that they're welcome to come. I would really like to be involved in my childrens lives again."

"Mom, that sounds great," I say reluctantly, "but if dad's going to be there…"

"I've told him he's not welcome," she says simply.

"Okay then," I nod.

Mom hails a cab, and we ride home in silence. When we get home mom quickly pays Max's babysitter, and then makes us all a cup of tea - and gets a glass of milk for Max.

"Simon and Isabelle will be here in a little while," she tells us, coming back from the kitchen.

"Why's Magnus here?" Max asks, looking around the room.

"Well Maxxie," I say, "you know how Jace and Clary are dating?"

"You two are boyfriends?" he asks, looking between the two of us. I nod back, smiling a little. "How long have you been dating?" he asks.

"Well, for about a year now," I answer.

"You know Clary and Jace have been dating for less than that and they told me ages ago!" he says matter-of-factly.

"Well Clary and Jace tend to overshare," Magnus says under his breath, but Max hears and starts to laugh.

After that, Simon and Izzy come in, and Max is hit with the bombshell that they're dating. And then we all just talk, filling in on everything that has happened over the last few years.

* * *

Hope you liked that. I was originally going to end the chapter after the restaurant but thought I should add on the last little bit. I know Maryse is a little out of character, but I wanted to have one of Alec parents really supporting him. Also, if you want anything to happen in any of these chapters just let me know and I'll write it! Have a good day :)


	56. Chapter 56: Day Two - Kit

**Chapter 56: Day Two - Kit**

Hey guys, thank you to everyone who reviewed yesterday's chapter. If you have anything you want to see in Simon or Clary's chapter, let me know and I'd be happy to write it. Anyway, hope you like this chapter :)

* * *

 **Kit's POV**

"Kit get up - I've made breakfast and then we have to go in and rehearse," Clary says, turning on the lights in my room.

I wave her away, and turn onto my stomach to block out the light.

"I know you want to sleep in, but we really don't have the time - _and_ you have to do your Instagram thing today, so up and at 'em."

I just grunt and squeeze my eyes shut tighter. Maybe if I wish it enough, she'll just go away. Amazingly, she doesn't say anything, and I hear her footsteps leaving my room. I sigh and snuggle into my blanket.

After a little while, I hear Clary again. "I'm really sorry to do this Kit, but if you don't get up I'll have no choice.

I open one eye and see that she's holding a glass of water. I know she'll do it - she's done it before. I sigh again, very loudly and dramatically and get out of bed.

"There's coffee and bacon downstairs," she tells me, leaving me to get up.

Eventually I come down stairs, and Clary and I eat our breakfast together in our pyjamas watching cartoons. This is what we've done pretty much every morning since she started staying with me. It was a good improvement on what I normally did, which is sleep through my alarm and quickly get dressed and show up late for rehearsals, without having had anything to eat or drink.

After breakfast, we get ready and then Clary drives us to rehearsals. We're starting to rehearse for new years eve now, so that when Simon and Alec get back it's just a matter of putting everything together, rather than having to quickly learn it.

We head home at around 5.00, and Clary tells me to wash up and then she'll help me with my video. I'd watched Alec's yesterday, and thought it was decidedly boring, and that I definitely wanted to spice it up a bit.

"Look if all the questions are bland like Alec's were yesterday, then I want you to make some up - make up some challenge type things as well," I tell Clary. "I want to entertain people here."

"Whatever you say boss. You good to go?" she asks.

I nod, and then she hold up her thumb to tell me she's started recording.

"Hey, what's up everyone! Kit here for the second, and I might add the best, day of Christmas. I'm sure you all watched Alec's yesterday, but to sum up I'm going to be spending the next little while with you all, so ask me any questions you have, or if there's something you want me to do, give me a shout. Clary, have any questions come in yet?"

"Ummm - oh that's a good one. What is your favourite Christmas memory?"

"Well this year has been pretty good. We're usually on the road around the Christmas time, so it's nice to get to spend this one at home," I say.

"And with your favourite person!" Clary chimes in.

"Well that's debatable," I tell her, "and this is my day - you'll get your turn later, Fray. Anyway, back to the question about _me_. I would say my favourite Christmas memory was from about five years ago. It was the first Christmas we spent as a band, and the first one most of us had spent away from home and family. Clary made this really good turkey, and Alec made all these sides. We had this massive feast, and Magnus had decorated the room, so you _know_ it was over the top. We played all these games, and sang and watched a movie. Yeah, it was just a really nice, simple day. I guess you could say it was our first family Christmas."

"Okay," Clary says, reading the next question, "out of you, Simon, Alec and Clary, who do you think is the most likely to get arrested?"

"I guess it depends - like I can definitely see myself getting arrested for something stupid in the future, but we all seem to egg each other on, so I could also see us all getting arrested at once for the same stupid thing. But it would probably be me if I had to choose just one person."

"Who do you go to for advice?" Clary asks, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

"I mean first person is usually Clary. She just such an _old person_ that you know she's going to give you the boring advice, but it usually does actually turn out pretty well. Otherwise probably Alec - another old person."

"Ohh okay - a challenge," Clary says. "We're going to have to move for this one." Clary leads me to my music room, and then hands me a notebook and some pens. "Okay, you've got one minute to draw each of us."

"Do you mean like one minute per person or everyone in one minute," I ask.

"They probably mean one person per minute, but now that you've brought it up, I think you should do everyone in a minute - nobody wants to watch you drawing for four minutes. How about you draw our last album cover?" Clary says, grabbing the record I have and handing it to me.

"You good to time?" I ask Clary, who nods.

"Ready, set, draw!" Clary says, and then holds the phone close to my face.

"Uhh… whatcha you doing there Clare?" I ask, looking at the record cover quickly and starting to draw Alec.

"Well I think it should be a big reveal, and this way they can't see the paper until you show it to them," she says as if it's obvious.

"Right then," I say, moving onto Simon.

"I think you should talk us through what you're doing - oh and you've got twenty seconds left by the way," she says.

"okay, well I've drawn Alec and Simon, and am currently drawing Clary-" I begin.

"fifteen seconds," Clary interprets.

"Okay, and now I'll draw myself - it's difficult to capture all of this beauty on the page."

"five seconds!"

"And now just the scenery."

"Time's up! Pen down," Clary yells. I quickly throw my pen away and turn the book over. I then wipe my brow, pretending to wipe away sweat.

"I'm going to be honest with you all - it's a masterpiece. I'll probably have art dealers calling before this video ends asking if they can display it in their museum."

"Well then I think you should show it to the class, Kit," Clary says.

I nod, and take a deep breath before turning the book around to show everyone the genius of my work.

"Only because I've looked that that album cover a hundred times can I tell who is who. I mean that one's me because of the long hair - and I assume that one is you because your hair is longer than Si and Alec's… I hate to say it Kit, but this a mess," Clary says.

"You do better in a minute then!" I say, throwing the book onto the table. "I put my heart and soul - blood, sweat and tears into that."

"Well as you say - this is _your_ day, so I'm not going to draw anything. And if it helps at all, everyone else likes your drawing - even if it is just a bunch of stick figures."

"That's because they know art when they see it! Next question," I say, dramatically falling onto the couch.

"Okay - what's your favourite instrument in this room?" Clary asks, quickly showing the phone the room.

"Well I have a few - if you mean my favourite to play, it would be between the drums and the guitar, but if it's my favourite that I _own_ then it becomes a lot more difficult," quickly scanning the room.

"Okay, well this one is pretty cool. It's an electric multipad. Clary bought it for me for Christmas last year, it we used it for _Ink_ on this album, so I like that a lot. But my favourite is probably this Gibson SG. It was used by George Harrison and John Lennon for a little while on Revolver and the White album. Yeah - this one was _not_ easy to get and I love the Beatles so it's cool to get to own a little piece of that."

"okay - I think because you were talking about _Ink_ ," Clary says, "they're asking what is your favourite tattoo that you have?"

"Oh, again, I've got a few.I got some of my tattoo's just 'cause - I either thought they looked cool, or I was with someone getting a tattoo and felt left out so I'd get one too, so those ones don't have a lot of meaning behind them. But this one," I say, holding out my ring finger on my right hand, "we all got when we were filming the music video for Ink. I'm not really sure I'm meant to talk about that - but it's coming out soon, I think. Anyway, we all got a crown around our finger for the band - you know Royals and all that. Uhhh this one," I say, lifting up my shirt to show my rib cage, "it Earth with a little guy sitting on top of it. It's kind of meant to show how small we all are, and to put any issues I have into perspective. Plus I think it looks pretty cool."

"Show 'em your toe tattoo!" Clary says, and I shake my head, but take off my sock nonetheless. "This one Clary did - it's the word big on my big toe. I lost a bet, and this was the consequence."

"Anyway, I think it's time that we start to wrap this up, so maybe one more question?" I say, pulling my sock back on.

"What makes your heart beat the fastest?" she asks, and after seeing my smile, quickly adds, "and nothing dirty!"

"I was going to say performing, Clarissa. Get your mind out of the gutter!" I say, pretending to be deeply offended.

"What are you looking forward to in the upcoming tour?" she asks me.

"Uhh - we've got a lot of good stuff planned for this tour that we can't really talk about yet - we want it to be a surprise for everyone. But I can promise this tour is going to bigger and better than anything we've done before, so I'm excited to see how that all goes. I also love what we get to do every tour, which is travel and get to meet a heap of amazing people. I'm just going to really let it sink in this time - who knows the next time we're all going to tour together again, so I really want to appreciate this one, and make some great memories."

"Nicely put," Clary tells me.

"Thank you. Anyway, that's all the questions I;m going to answer today. You can go to Simon's account tomorrow to see his video - although I'm sure it won't be nearly as interesting as mine. And then come back to the band's account on Christmas day for a quick check in. Anyway, I hope you all have a fabulous night, or day depending on where you are!"

"That's a wrap!" Clary says.

* * *

Song Mention: Ink by Coldplay

Okay, I'm not sure if you like it, but I feel like that chapter kind of just turned into one massive conversation. Do you want as much of the video in Simon's, or do you want to see more of him interacting with his family and Izzy? I can try and do both if you would like that best. Same question for Clary's chapter. Let me know, and I'll see you tomorrow :)


	57. Chapter 57: Day Three - Simon

**Chapter 57: Day Three - Simon**

Okay we're back for day three! I just want to send a massive thank you to A, whose reviews have literally shaped these chapters. I knew that I wanted to do them, but not really what I wanted to put in them, and your suggestions have made writing these chapters so much easier! I hope you all like them :)

* * *

 **Simon's POV**

"I'm sorry I missed you graduation Becky - it's just we were on tour, and I tried to get away, I really did, but Magnus couldn't figure out how without missing a concert…" I say. I'm currently sitting with mom and Becky at this cafe we used to go to all the time before I moved to L.A.

"I get, my dorky little brother is a big rock star - he doesn't have time for the little people anymore…" Rebecca says, taking an exaggerated sip of her coffee.

"Hey, you two will never be the _little people_ \- no one is ever little people, well maybe Clary but that's a height thing. And I saw all those photos on your Facebook - you sure _looked_ like you enjoyed the trip I sent you on," I say, watching the waitress walk by with more meals that aren't ours.

"Of course I loved it - I just also happen to love giving you a hard time. Of course I get why you couldn't come to my graduation," she says, reaching across and grabbing my hand, "and besides, I could see you watching me walk across the stage on mom's facetime. I guess we're just a modern family."

"Well we're all finally going to spend the holidays together this year - with everyone," I say, moving around some coffee cups to make room for our meals that have finally arrived.

"With everyone," mom says, winking at me, "including the Lightwoods. Including one Isabelle Lightwood."

I feel myself blush at the same time Becky says, "real subtle mom."

"Well tell us about her. Every time I bring her up over the phone you find some excuse to end the conversation. Well you got no excuses this time," she says, nudging me on the arm.

"Well… actually, because I _knew_ you would bring this up, and that you wouldn't drop it until I told you every last detail, I actually invited Izzy to breakfast. She isn't coming for a while - I thought we should have some time just the three of us first." I look at both their shocked faces and realise that maybe they don't want to meet her. Maybe they wanted the whole morning to be just the three of us. "But I mean… if that's not a good plan and I text her and tell her that the plans have changed and she shouldn't come…"

"No it's not that…" Becky says, still sort of shocked.

"It's just… we've never met anyone you dated," mom finishes.

"Well, there hasn't exactly been any others," I tell them slowly. There hasn't really been time for others. Or to put it better - I haven't wanted to make time for anyone but Izzy. "Anyway, I would appreciate it if you guys didn't grill her too intensely. I met her parents the other night and it wasn't exactly smooth sailing."

"Tell us what happened," mom says, looking at me like a wounded puppy.

"You do you instantly assumed I was the one who messed up?" I ask, looking at them both.

"Well…" Becky says, before punching me softly. "If it wasn't you then what happened?"

"Well Magnus and Alec are dating as well," I begin.

"As in your manager Magnus?" mom asks.

"How many Magnus' do you know?" I ask playfully. "Yeah my manager. Anyway, I kinda missed the whole thing, but something must have happened between Alec and his dad, because all the sudden Alec went on this big rant out acceptance and happiness and then left with Magnus. And then Izzy started getting angry at her parents, and then Alec's _mom_ followed Alec and Magnus. Izzy yelled at her dad for a few more minutes caused this whole scene in the restaurant. And then we went back to the Lightwood's house and hung out with Izzy's little brother and her mom and Alec and Magnus."

"Did you stand up for Alec?" Becky asks me.

"I didn't really think it was my place - I'd only met the man once before. I didn't think I should really start yelling at him. But I left with Izzy - and didn't discourage her at all. Does that count?" I ask, playing with my napkin. I know I probably should have said something, but at the rate things were going, I was hoping that Robert Lightwood would be my father-in-law one day, and he already didn't like me…

"Well I mean it stands for something… and I'm sure Alec knows you're on his side," mom says.

I'm about to reply, with then bell goes off indicating that someone has entered the cafe. I look over to the door, and see Izzy beginning to unwrap her scarf. She spots me and starts making her way over to our table, so I get up and meet her half way. I help her take off her coat and hang it up on the coat hanger by the door.

"Mom, Becky; this is Isabelle Lightwood. Iz, this is my mother Elaine and my sister Rebecca," I say, and then offer her a seat at the table. "I'll go get you a coffee. Anyone else want anything?" Both mom and Becky hand me their mugs so I go to the counter and order the four coffees as quickly as possible. I'm sure nothing can go too wrong too quickly, but I'd really like to be there to stop any embarrassing stories I'm sure their both dying to tell Izzy.

I rush back to the table and am relieved to see that they're talking about Izzy's job. "At the moment I only work for Jace - he was my first client, and I'm still young and trying to figure everything out. And he's really just getting bigger so I think it's good to be available for him whenever he needs it. Simon told me you're a nurse, Ms Lewis?"

"Eline's fine. Yeah, I'm just down the road at The Brooklyn Hospital Centre. That's how we found this cafe actually - we'd all come here for breakfast on Sunday mornings before my shift. It meant we'd have an hour every week when we were all together, and then Simon and Beaky could just walk home after."

"That's sweet. My family never really did anything like that. We were lucky if _one_ parent at a meal with us. We'd usually just order in and then you could eat whenever or where ever suited you best. It was a bit lonely sometimes…"

"Well Simon left, and then I went off to college, so I get what that's like. You know we could all be in the same country, but it felt like we were worlds apart," Becky says, smiling over at me. I really have missed her - I make a mental note to spend more time with her after the band starts taking it's break."

"Oh of course - Simon said you're an art history major. He was very proud of you when you graduated you know," Izzy says, clearly more confident with the easier conversation.

"So he tells me," Becky says, nudging me again.

The waitress brings our coffees over. "So have you got any jobs lined up?" Izzy asks, blowing on her coffee before she takes a sip.

"Well actually, I was working at the information desk of this museum up at Jersey for most of my degree, and one of the curators there was looking for an assistant, and I managed to get that job. So I'm going to do that while I get my PhD. The goal is to become a curator one day, and you've got to start somewhere."

"Congratulations," Izzy says, softly putting her hand on Beaky's arm. "We'll have to go up and see it one day," Izzy tells me.

We talk easily for another hour, until I have to leave for rehearsals. Izzy was going to come with me so she could hang out with Magnus and Alec and I for a while, and then she said she had to go Christmas shopping.

"Well, we'll see you at Clary's Christmas," mom says, hugging Izzy.

"I'm looking forward to it," Izzy says, hugging Becky. Mom winks at me over their shoulders, and holds her thumb up.

"We'll see you two at the airport," Becky says, wrapping her scarf up tightly.

They head off in one direction, while Izzy and I go the other.

"I think that went okay," Izzy says, rubbing her hands together for warmth.

"That went better than okay - they love you," I say, grabbing one of her hands and putting it in my pocket.

"You think so? That was the first time I've met anyone I'm dating's parents."

"For. Sure." I tell her, kissing her hand. "They couldn't get enough of you."

"Well that's a relief. After what happened the other night…"

"Let's not think about that right now - and anyway, we're running late," I say, pulling her down the steps to the subway. Usually I wouldn't risk it with public transport, but it was the middle of the day, so it shouldn't be too busy, and traffic would be a mess.

When we do show up, only a few minutes late, Magnus scolds me but not Izzy, whom he promptly pulls over to a row of seats to gossip with, presumably about the breakfast we just had. Alec looks just as confused as I feel.

He shakes his head, "anyway, we should probably get to rehearsing."

After a couple of hours rehearsing for tour and New Years Eve, we decide to call it quits.

"And don't you forget about your little video Simon Lewis. The other boys in this band have done a good job and I don't want you messing that all up."

"Always on the attack Magnus," I say, holding my hands up. "You _know_ I'll do a good job - you're just afraid it's going to be better than Alec's."

"Whatever you say to help you sleep at night," Magnus says, rolling his eyes.

"You're doing your video today?" Izzy asks.

"Yeah, I was going to do it when I got back to my hotel room," I say, grabbing and swinging her hand.

"You want some help?" she asks, watching our hands swing.

"That'd be great,"I say, kissing her temple.

She insists that I shower before doing my video, and picks out my outfit so I'll "look the part."

"Honestly between you and Clary, and let's face it; Alec. You all really needed me in your lives."

"Okay whatever, can we just get this done so we can watch a movie or something?" I ask.

"Of course - I'm ready to go when you are," she says, catching my phone.

"Lights… camera… action," I say, and then she points to the phone and does a thumbs up, letting me know she's starting filming. "Hello everyone who is watching this! I hope you've had a great day so far… if not then I hope I can make your day a little brighter with this video. It's the third day of Christmas and I'm here to answer any questions you may have, or fulfil any of your wishes where possible. I've got the lovely Isabelle Lightwood behind the camera helping me today, so everyone say hi to Izzy, and be nice."

She laughs at the messages coming through, before asking the first question, "okay Simon, what did you do today?"

"Well, I had breakfast with my mom and sister and you, Iz, and then I had rehearsals for the rest of the day; we're getting ready for tour and New Years!"

"What has been your favourite performance you've ever done?" she asks.

"There have obviously been… so many favourites. But I'd have to say my favourite, or definitely most memorable as in 'holy… ship' moment would be our first concert at Madison Square Garden in New York. I was sixteen the first time we did a concert there - it was sold out and just crazy. I remember the first concert I went to was with Clary and it was at MSG. It was an Oasis concert in 2005… I think I was nine. Anyway it was this crazy thing, and I think we both had this moment when they sung 'Don't Look Back in Anger,' and we both turned to each other and were like 'this is what I'm going to do one day'. You know like perform for people, and have music be our jobs. So it was just this really surreal moment the first time we got to perform on that stage. It was definitely my first - 'I've made it' moment."

"That's super cute," Izzy tells me, and then realises what she's meant to be doing, "okay… let me see here. Ummm… well a lot of the questions are about you and me."

"I don't mind. Why don't you come on this side of the camera, and we can answer them together?" I say, moving over on the bed to make room for her. After a little convincing, she sets the phone up against the TV and then sits next to.

"A lot of people have asked about our first date," she tells me.

"Well then, let's tell them. Our first date was after one of our concerts. She was there because Jace was there I think," I say.

"And my brother," she adds.

"Right, and Alec. And then I met her after the concert and obviously was instantly… she took my breath away, so I asked her if she wanted to go get a drink, and for some reason she said yes," I say, wanting to grab her hand so badly, but knowing she probably wouldn't want that right now.

"Not for some reason - I'd heard Alec talk about you before, and you seemed like a nice guy, and then I'd been hanging around Clary a lot and heard nice stories. I wanted to see if the man behind the tales was real."

"And was I?" I ask, grinning at her.

"I'm still here aren't I? I think I may have read a few chapters that no one else has - I can confidently say that you're better than anything anyone told me about."

I can feel myself starting to blush, so I quickly try to work in a joke, "and you're definitely very different from Alec, which is a good thing."

She smiles at me a lightly hits me on the chest. "Okay… next question. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?"

"I'd love to spend some more time in New York. I haven't been here for more than a week in… years," I reply.

"Oh yeah, me too," Iz says.

"But just for a holiday… maybe to Japan somewhere. We haven't really gotten to explore much of Japan, and I'd love to go skiing again. And I _love_ Japanese food."

"Oh if we're going off the food we'd be eating," Izzy says, "then I'd have to go to Italy. I'd love to get a car and just drive around the country side and drink great wine and each cheese and pasta and bread…" Looking at her, wistfully looking off at this dream she has… looks like I know where I'm taking her next time we both have a break. "what are you looking at?" she asks when she notices my staring.

"Nothing… nothing," I say, leaning towards the phone to get the next question. "Ummm… how about favourite song? God… umm at the moment…. it really changes all the time…. I'm quite into Crosby, Stills and Nash at the moments… maybe 'Helplessly Hoping,' but I'm sure that'll change in like, twenty minutes. What about you Iz?"

"Mine is easily, 'Never be Alone'," she says simply. I still remember every second of the moment I sang that to her; the first time we said I love you to one another. I can feel my cheeks redding again, and want nothing more than to kiss the beautiful raven haired girl sitting next to me, and it takes all the self control I have to look away from her, and back to the phone.

"Next question…"

* * *

Hope that was cute and fulfilled all of your SizzyFam needs and wants! Only Clary's day left now, and then Christmas - again if you want to see anything in these chapters I'm open to whatever! Hope you have a good day/night, and I'll see you tomorrow.


	58. Chapter 58: Day Four - Clary

**Chapter 58: Day Four - Clary**

Welcome to day four. If you celebrate Christmas, then happy Christmas Eve, otherwise happy holidays! I hope you're all having a great day whatever you're doing! Hope you enjoy the chapter :)

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

"Honey, we're home," I yell as Jace and I walk through the front door.

"Is there someone I need to know about?" Jace asks, dropping his bag next to the door.

"I thought Kit would be around somewhere," I say, heading into the living room. "Apparently not. Chances are he's still asleep."

"But it's like…" Jace looks at his watch, "3am… in London."

"And it's 11.00 am here. Do you want to go have a nap or something?" I ask. I didn't really take his jet lag into consideration.

"No it's all good; I slept for most of the flight over. What'd you have planned for today?" He asks pulling me down to sit on the couch with him.

"Well, we got the day off rehearsals, because we're apparently 'so far ahead of schedule', but I really think it's because everyone wants to be with their family on Christmas Eve… which I'm totally not complaining about. So anyway I'm free all day. I've just got to do this video thing."

"Oh yeah on Instagram… I saw the guys. Pretty good, pretty funny," Jace says.

"Yeah well… I have no idea what I'm going to do. But I thought we could start making food for the Christmas party tomorrow?"

"You didn't get caterers?" Jace asks.

"Well… I've never really like catering smaller events - it just seems so impersonal. And especially with this one, when it's just friends and family. But I totally get it if you don't want to cook with me, I just thought… because I know you like cooking… It'd be too late to order a caterer now," I say, realising what a mistake I've made.

"Clary, Clary... calm down, okay. It's perfect - I totally agree. I'm just so used to attending these massive Christmas parties where I used to get black out drunk… I'm excited for this Christmas. To spend it with family."

"I'm glad - because you're the party planner in this relationship," I say, getting up and holding my hand out for him to follow, pulling him towards the kitchen. "I thought we could definitely do all of the desserts today, because they'll keep overnight, and then I thought we could just prep everything else - you know cut up vegetables, marinate the meat. Then we can just pop it in the oven or on the stove tomorrow.

"Sounds like a plan," Jace says, picking up the folder on the bench and flicking through it.

"The recipes," I tell him. "So how do you want to go about this? We can do everything together, or divide and conquer."

"It'll definitely be faster if we just pick a few recipes each," Jace says.

"Okay, well I can start with all the savoury and you can start with deserts, and then we'll meet in the middle," I say, starting to divide all the recipes.

We cook for around an hour, with Christmas music playing, and just catching up on everything we've missed in each others lives. Eventually Kit gets out of bed and makes himself a bowl of cereal, which he says counts as cooking.

I then realise that I may as well just do my video now, because it'll mean that I don't have to make time later, and I can easily talk and answer questions while cutting and spicing food.

"Yeah, but then wouldn't I be in it? Or do you want me to stop cooking for a little while?" Jace asks.

"Well if you don't want to be in it that fine, but Izzy was in Simon's yesterday, so I don't see why you couldn't be in mine…" I say.

"If you're sure," Jace says, and then starts sifting the flour again.

I set my phone up, and lean it against a bag of flour.

"Hey guys, Clary here for the fourth day of Christmas, which just happens to be Christmas Eve. So, happy Christmas Eve, or happy holidays, or if you're not into any of that; I hope you're having a great day! Jace and I are just making food for our Christmas party tomorrow, so I thought now would be as good a time as any to answer some of your questions and just hang out for a while."

Jaec walks behind me and waves at the camera, his hands covered in flour as if to prove the point that he's baking.

"Get back over there," I tell him playfully, "you're getting flour all over the green beans!" Of course, him being Jace means that he has to wipe flour across my forehead before heading back over to his bowl.

I quickly wash the beans again, and then look at the phone.

"Okay first question… what is your favourite Christmas song? Ummm, I'm probably more into Christmas carols than just songs… There's this album by the Choir of King's College that my family used to listen to every Christmas. But I also love the Michael Buble and Idina Mendes version of 'Baby it's Cold Outside'. The video clip for that is just too cute."

Jace looks at me grinning, so I throw a bean at him, "fine. What's yours then?" I ask.

"Mine would be 'All I Want for Christmas is You,' he says.

"Mariah Carey really does go off on that - I guess that's a pretty good answer," I say.

"Not the Mariah version, although that is good. Your version."

"Oh shut up, what's your real favourite?" I ask, tempted to throw another bean at him.

"I'm not kidding - look," he says, wiping his hands on his apron and taking his phone out of his pocket. He goes to his on repeat playlist on Spotify and shows it to me. Sure enough, the song is at number one, with _Lucky_ below it. He shows the phone to the camera as if to prove his point to everyone watching.

"Why's _Lucky_ your number two?" I ask, genuinely confused. "We recorded that song like, a year ago."

"Well, if you _must_ know; I play it when I miss you," he says, putting his phone away. "And I've been in London for a while… and I miss you a lot." I can feel myself blushing, and can see that Jace has noticed, because he start chuckling at me. "Next question…" he says, leaning in towards the phone. If you could teach any course at college - real or fake, what would it be and why?"

"Ohh that's a really cool question," I say, and then put the beans in the fridge.

"I think I would teach… maybe, like, I don't want to be boring and say an acting class. Maybe like… a stunts class. Like teaching people how to do their own stunts in movies. I think that'd be pretty sick."

"Oh yeah, you'd be so good at that," I say. "I think I'd do, like an art appreciation class. We could look at like all mediums; music, movies, books, physical art, dance, fashion and everything in between, and then we could all just sit in a room and talk about how great it."

"How do you assess that class?" Jace asks, "not that you wouldn't be great a teaching it…" he adds, "I'm just curious."

"I don't know - it's a fake class! Maybe they write an essay about their favourite thing we looked at during the year, and talk about why it's their favourite. And dispute all critic's negative comments about it. What about your class, hey? Is it just a massive obstacle course?"

"Exactly that," he replies smugly.

"Oh whatever!" I say, struggling not to smile. "What's your favourite Christmas movie?"

"Okay, let's say them at the same time," Jace suggests. "One, two, three!" And then Jace says the Grinch at the same time I say Love Actually.

"The Grinch is my second favourite," I say.

"I suppose Love Actually is pretty good," he says as well.

"I never pegged you as a Grinch guy - the Jim Carrey one, right?" I ask.

"Oh definitely the Jim Carrey one - and I had you pegged exactly as a Love Actually girl," Jace says, poking his tongue out at me.

"So we can watch it tonight?" I ask, excited.

"If you want to watch all those porno scenes with Luke and Max, sure," he says.

"The Grinch it is then," I say, and Jace starts laughing.

"Are we meant to be spending this long on each question?" he asks me, flicking through the long list of questions that have come in.

"Probably not," I admit. "But there isn't really a set formula for this sort of thing, so we can do whatever we want."

"So I can do this?" he asks, and grabs be around the waist from behind, and spins me around. When he finally puts me down, he quickly kisses me on the neck before heading back over to the slice he's making.

"That's not really what I had in mind," I tell him, but laughing anyway. He just shrugs.

We answer questions for another little while, never really speeding up the process but having fun anyway. After that, we keep cooking, and Kit even helps us at one point, which is it's own Christmas miracle. After we clean the kitchen and ourselves up, and tell them that it's time to go to the airport.

"We're picking up a lot of people, so we're both going to have to take a car," I tell Jace. "And even then I don't think everyone will fit."

"Well I've organised for my parents to be picked up and taken straight to their hotel," Jace says, and looks like he doesn't want to be pushed on the topic. It was big for Jace to even invite both of his parents, so I don't say anything.

"Yeah same with my parents," Kit says. "I thought dad was going to say no, and I didn't really except my mother to show up - but anyway they've got separate cars going to a hotel.

"Well how about you pick up the Lightwood's" I tell Jace.

"There's five of them - they're not all going to fit," he points out.

"Okay well you get the Mayrses, Robert and Max. I'll get Simon's mom and sister and Luke. And then Alec, Mags, Simon and Izzy can get a cab and meet us back here."

Jace shrugs and then nods, and grabs a set of car keys off the bench. "Let's go then."

We pick everyone up and bring them back to Kits. Even though everyone wasn't staying here, we thought it would be nice to spend Christmas Eve together.

We order in Chinese food, and watch the Grinch together. After that, we play a couple of games, and just dance around to the Christmas music.

After Max falls asleep, we decide it's time to call it a night, and everyone heads off to wherever their staying, leaving just Kit, Jace, Luke and I in Kit's house. When we finish cleaning everything up, Jace looks at his phone and show it to me. 12.00.

"Merry Christmas Clary," he says, kissing me softly on the cheek.

* * *

Hope you liked that chapter! Come back tomorrow for the Christmas day chapter, where I can promise some wholesomeness, and a little bit of drama! Have a great day/night.


	59. Chapter 59: Day Five - Everyone!

**Chapter 59: Everyone!**

Happy Christmas or holidays everyone! Thank you for all the lovely reviews you've been leaving on these chapters! I hope you like this one too. I didn't do it in anyone's POV so that I could jump around to different people easily.

* * *

Everyone is sitting in the living room, surrounded by a massive pile of presents. We decided that we should do presents all together, rather than as separate families, and as a result everyone showed up bright and early on Christmas morning. Once everyone had their mug of hot chocolate, tea or coffee, Max insisted that we start making our way through the pile.

"Did you know that in Norway, and a lot of places across Europe they open their presents on Christmas Eve?" Max tells everyone.

"Well we've missed that boat," Alec tells him. "But maybe next year we can open a few presents on Christmas Eve."

Somehow, Luke got voted into being Santa, so he was sitting on this big chair next to the tree with a Santa hat on, and was dishing out the presents.

"To Jace, from Isabelle," he reads out. Clary moves over a little so Jace is able to go collect his present, and Izzy comes over to watch him open it.

"It's a planner…" Jace says, looking up at her confused.

"I think it's about time you start looking after yourself a little bit," she tells him. At Jace's look of… confusion maybe, she adds, "don't worry. I got you more than just that; that was more of a joke really."

"Right, well thanks Iz," Jace says, putting the planner on the ground along with the piano books Clary had bought him.

"To Max, from Clary," Luke reads out.

Max runs up to get his present and rips the paper open as soon as he gets back to his seat.

"What'd you get Maxxie?" Alec asks him.

"It's a bunch of Manga. Thanks Clary," he yells across the room.

"Tell me when you finish those ones and we can go and buy you some more," she replies.

He nods excitedly, and opens the book to begin reading, but Simon quickly grabs it and flips it over.

"You start at the back," he tells him. "And then read right to left."

"Okay, thanks Simon," Max says, and begins reading.

"Max, you got another one," Luke says, shaking another present in the air.

Max gently places his book down and runs over to collect his next present.

"To Celine and Stephen, from Clary and Jace," Luke reads out.

Celine gets up to collect her present, and nods at Clary and Jace in thanks on the way back to her seat.

"Look Stephen, it's a voucher for horses…" Celine says, reading over the piece of paper. "It says when we get back home, we can go to and choose two horses from Louis' stable."

"And there's a stable being built on your property at the moment; it should be close to finished by the time you get back," Jace tells them.

"Thank you, lion," Celine says, hugging Jace. "And you two Clary," she adds, hugging Clary as well. "This is really too generous."

"Thank you, both of you," Stephen says, still slightly shocked by the present. He never expected Jace to get him a gift this big.

Jace nods back at him, and then turns back to Luke, who is handing a gift to Kit.

"I hope you like it," his mother tells him. Kit slowly opens the present, which turns out to be an Xbox. Despite already owning on, Kit thanks his mother.

"I heard in an interview that you liked playing video games… do you like it?" she asks, rather shyly.

"Yeah it's great, thanks… Rosemary." Kit could see the disappointment on his mother's face about him calling her her real name, but he really didn't feel comfortable calling her mom yet.

"This next one," Luke says, "is from Kit to… everyone?" He looks over to Kit for conformation, who nods to tell him he's correct. "Well, everyone not in the band," he clarifies.

Luke takes out an envelope with is own name on it, and then passes the box to Mayrese so it can be passed around the group. Once everyone has their envelope, Kit says, "you can open them!"

"A backstage pass to your New York show!" Max says excitedly.

"To our last ever show" Kit adds.

"That's so cheating!" Simon says. "Obviously we were already going to invite everyone to that show."

"Well now you don't have to," Kit says, leaning back into the couch, his hands behind his head with a smug smile. "You're welcome."

Luke just laughs at him and grabs another present. "From Clary, to Luke… I'll just open this later," he says, and then put the present down and goes to grab another.

"This is your Christmas too Luke," Clary says to him, "open it!" This is followed by shouts of support, so Luke shakes his head, but picks up the present. He slowly opens it.

"Are these…" Luke asks, looking at the books in disbelief.

"They're first edition Mary Shelley…" Clary says, eager to see his reaction.

"How did you even?..." Luke asks, still completely shocked at the book he's holding.

"Well I won't lie to you… I had some help. Maia - from your bookshop, she tracked it down and got it from the buyer. She's also looked into the proper storage for it, so there's some sort of case being built back at your bookshop for it."

"Clary, this is… it's too much," he says, trying to hand the book back to her.

"Nothing's too much for you Luke," Clary says, refusing the book.

"Okay, well now my present feels so small, but… Merry Christmas kiddo," he says, handing me a present that looks suspiciously like a book.

Clary unwraps the present to find a printed photo book filled with pictures. From everything to the first time she came home, to her first major concert and even stuff from their last tour.

"Thank you Luke," Clary says sincerely. "This is amazing."

"I'm glad you like it," he says. They keep giving out presents until the once massive pile disappears.

"I can't believe you got me a mirror," Kit says to Clary.

"I see it's already getting some good use," she replies playfully. "Come on, you know you love it; and your real present is that I'm going to help you get your license, and then you get my car. It's about time you finally owned it."

Kit sighs and rolls his eyes, but Clary can see that he's excited by the idea of finally owning his dream car, instead of being driven around in it.

"Okay, well lunch should be ready in about an hour," Clary tells everyone. "But there are snacks and drinks… so just have a good time everyone!"

"Alec would I be able to talk to you," Robert asks Alec, pulling him to the side. Alec looked over at Izzy talking to Simon's family and just wished it could be that easy for him.

"What do you want dad?" he asks, not bothering with any niceties.

"First, I want to apologise for my behaviour at dinner in New York. I've had time to think about how everything happened, and I'm willing to accept full blame," Robert says sombrely.

"Like you should," Alec replies shortly. He'd already forgiven his dad too many times for the same behaviour.

"I also wanted to let you know that I'm taking some time away from the family. I was offered a job in London, and I'm going to take it. It start in the New Year, and I'll be moving there without your mother or younger brother."

"So you thought the best time to tell me that you and mom are splitting up was on Christmas morning?" Alec whisper yells.

"Alexander, will you calm down?" Robert says, looking around to make sure no one was looking.

"No, I won't. I thought you pulled me over here to apologise for your behaviour at dinner the other night, and ask me to re-introduce you to Magnus. But instead you come seeking justification for breaking up our family," Alec says, slowly getting angrier.

"Magnus is just a phase," Robert says strongly.

"No dad, Magnus is the love of my life. And maybe _I_ think it would be best for you to leave the family, but I will not speak for mom, or Iz or Max. You need to man up and talk to your wife instead of seeking comfort in the son you've turned away his whole life,"Alec says, and then leaves in pursuit of Magnus.

Clary, who had seen the whole interaction but not listened to what they were saying leaned into Jace.

"I know it's none of our business," she says to Jace, "but something's going on in the Lightwood family."

"Yeah I noticed something funky in the car yesterday," Jace replied. "Max was the only one talking. I mean sure, the kid loves to talk. But the most Mayrese and Robert said to me was 'hello' and 'thank you'. We should see if Izzy or Alec need anything."

"We'll wait till after Christmas - we don't need any family drama's today.

And then, as if God was mocking her, the doorbell rung.

"You expecting anyone," Jace asks, confused. Clary's heart felt like it had stopped beating.

"Keep an eye on the food," she says, as she slowly makes her way towards the front door. After taking a deep breath, she slowly opens the door, to reveal her brother standing with a women she had never seen before and a baby.

"Merry Christmas Clary," he says.

"What are you doing here?" Clary asks, unable to stop herself.

"You… invited us. Remember?" he says, unsure now.

"I remember sending the invitation, along with plane tickets. I don't remember you telling me you were coming, or even that you'd gotten any of it."

"I didn't want to disappoint you," he says, "and we weren't one hundred percent sure if we were coming."

"So you just show up on my doorstep, 30 minutes before lunch is being served. Maybe there isn't room for you anymore." Clary says coldly. She would not let her brother break her heart again.

"Okay. I understand. I hope you enjoy your lunch Clary," he says, and then looks over he shoulder when a massive eruption of laughter could be heard in the living room.

"Fucks sake," Clary whispers. "Fine Jon, wait. Of course you can come in." They all start bustling in the door, when Clary asks, "is this your wife?"

"Oh… crap. Clary this is my wife Lilith - Lily. Lils this is my baby sister Clary. And this…" he says, tickling the baby, "is Adele."

"It's nice to meet you," Clary says to Lily, "lunch should be ready shortly.

"Actually Clary, would I be able to talk to really quickly?" Lily asks sweetly. Clary looks over her shoulder at Jace, who is look at her alarmed.

"I don't see why not," Clary says, grabbing her coat off the hook and heading back outside.

"I really wanted to let this go - but then you nearly turned us away and… I don't know. I just wanted to ask you how you could give your brother such a tough time. I mean first your parents die, and then you move to L.A. without him. And then you turn him away every time he tries to get close to you, until you can finally profit off the story of your parents. How could anybody be so horrible to their family?" she asks, her sweet persona gone.

"Is that what he told you?" Clary asks, wishing she was shocked, but sadly isn't.

"He just told me the truth," she replies nastily.

"Look, I don't want to get between you and Jon. But you should really ask you _husband_ to tell you the truth; the real truth. And if you can't get it out of him, as Luke." Clary says, ready turn back into the house and just fall into Jace's arms; on of the only places she felt truly safe.

"Whose Luke?" she asks, her confidence starting to waver a little.

"That would be my godfather," Clary says, turning back to face her. "The man who moved to L.A. to be with me when my brother wouldn't."

Maybe it was too much for Clary to ask for a normal Christmas.

Once they are back inside, Clary is met by everyone looking at Jon shocked, and then to Clary, even more shocked that Clary would invite him.

"Hey guys, I think we should do our video before we forget," Clary tells them all. They all head over to the Christmas tree.

"Clary!" Simon whisper yells, "how could you invite him?"

"Look if Kit can forgive his parents then I can begin to forgive my brother. Let's not talk about this right now," Clary says, knowing that they would all just start to argue with her.

"Hey Maxxie," Clary says as Max walks past. "Would you be able to do us a really quick favour?"

"Yeah. What do you need me to do?" he asks.

"Well you know how we've been doing those videos?" he nods back, "we have to do one all together now, and I would really appreciate it if you could film for us.

"Oh yeah, sure!" Max says, taking Clary's phone. She quickly logs him into the bands Instagram account.

"Merry Christmas," everyone yells when he starts filming.

"And happy Hanuka!" Simon adds.

"Or happy holidays," Alec says.

"Or we hope your having a nice break," Clary finishes.

"From our family, to yours," Kit says, and then waves everyone over. First only Magnus, Izzy and Jace come over, but after a little more insisting, everyone else slowly comes over.

"Get over here Maxxie," Alec yells, and then takes the phone and sets it on the table so it's facing the now massive group.

"We hope you're having a great day whatever your doing," Clary yells over everyone.

"And I hope your getting to spend it with people you love; whether that be friends, family or anyone else!" Simon adds.

"Merry Christmas!" everyone yells.

* * *

Well that's all the Christmas chapters done now! I'm not going to post until next Tuesday (for me), and then after that it'll be back to twice a week posting! Have a great day and week :)


	60. Chapter 60: Happy New Year!

**Chapter 60: Happy New Year!**

Happy New Year! Thank you for the great past year - over 130 reviews! Thanks for all the support and lovely comments. I hope you have a great night, and a very happy new year! Enjoy!

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

New Years - they are performing at Time Square

"So, _Vogue,_ " Magnus says, while doing jazz hands, "will be here shortly. As you know, they're going to follow you around today while you get ready for your performance tonight."

"I can't tell what your more excited about," Simon says, not looking up from his phone. "The fact that we are performing as midnight at Time Square, or the fact that we're going to be in a YouTube video for Vogue."

"I think it's _pretty obvious_ ," Kit says.

Alec says performance at the same time that Magnus says Vogue.

"Oh Alexander, it's like you don't even know me at all!" Magnus says dramatically.

"Well I just thought…" Alec says, looking over to me for help.

"He just thought you would get that he was joking. _Obviously_ he knows you care more about Vogue."

"Stop covering for him, Clary," Magnus says. "Anyway - I'm going to go over the schedule once more, just so everyone is on board for today! So, Vogue…" he says, unable to stop the large smile on his face, "should be here in the next five minutes, and then there will be a little interview portion of the video. Then we're going off to do your sound check and final rehearsals. After that, you guys will hang out in your trailer near the stage, and get ready for the performance. There will be a communal dinner - I've already checked and you'll all be able to keep up your tour diets."

"Goody," Kit says sarcastically.

"Then you can watch performances or nap or do whatever you want before your performance. We fly to Europe tomorrow morning so nothing too late tonight!"

"Oh, that reminds me," I say, "Kit and I will need the trailer for a little bit before the performance."

"For your _yoga_?" Simon asks, looking away from his phone.

"Yes," I say simply. "We've offered for you to join - there's no need to make fun."

"I just don't really understand the idea behind chilling yourselves out before the show. Shouldn't you be like… getting pumped."

"Actually," Kit replies, "it allows us to block out everything other than the show and centre our focus and energy on giving the best performance we can."

"Also," I add, "it really tones muscle. There's a reason you and Simon are getting left behind," I say, poking Alec in the stomach. Not that I would say anything, but he really didn't need any help in sculpting muscles.

Alec just rolls his eyes, but Magnus swats my hand away from Alec's stomach, "are you calling my boyfriend pudgy?"

"I would never!" I say, smiling at Magnus as I sit down next to Simon on the couch.

I'm sure that Magnus is about to respond, but he's distracted by a knock at the door. "It's Vogue! Quick, how do I look?"

"Marvellous!" I yell back. He quickly straightens his jacket before opening the door. He invites everyone inside.

"Hi, I'm Clary," I say to the man who walked in first, shaking his hand.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Max - I'm the director for your video today," the man - Max says.

"Oh great," I say, "well this is Simon, Alec and Kit. Thanks for coming over today - we're really excited for this video."

"I'm glad to hear it. Well, we're just going to spend a minute setting up. Are you all good on the couch for the interview part, or was there somewhere else you'd prefer?"

"Umm… I'm sure the couch will be perfect, let me just check with Magnus." Upon hearing his name, Magnus hurries over to us. "Magnus," I say, "this is Max - the director of the video. Was the couch good with you for filming?"

"Oh… whatever Max wants to do will be perfect. Simon!" Magnus yells, and then looks over to Max and calms himself, "Simon. Would you please get up so the Vogue people can set up for your video.

Simon looks over at me and raises his eyebrows and grins, but gets up none-the-less.

After they've set everything up, they position us where they want us on the couch, and a few people fix my make up and the guys hair, and then they start filming, getting Alec to do the introduction.

"Hey everyone," he says, "we're Royals for the Night, and we're going to spend the day with Vogue, getting ready for our performance at Time Square tonight."

"Okay, can you tell us your favourite New Years Eve memory?" Max asks us.

"We;ve been pretty boring the last five or so years - we're usually wrapping a tour or about to release an album - or both honestly, so there hasn't really been a lot of time for partying," Simon says.

"We had a concert last year - that was pretty good fun. But it ended at like 10.00, maybe 10.30 - I think we were all in bed by 11.00," I add.

"I remember once," Kit says, "I think I would've been about ten. I really wanted to stay up until midnight and watch the ball drop and the fireworks and everything on TV. Which amazingly, my dad let me do. Or so I thought - a couple of years later I found out he'd just played the ball dropping from the year before and changed the clocks in the house. I actually went to bed at like 8.30."

"Wouldn't you have noticed there were no fireworks outside?" Simon asks.

Kit shrugs, "you would think so, wouldn't you."

"And wouldn't you notice that everyone had the wrong yeah on all their stuff - like the glasses and everything?" Alec asks.

"That one I did actually notice - dad said that people were celebrating the year that had just happened, and I don't know… I just believed him."

"And wouldn't you be able to it hadn't been dark for long enough for it to be midnight," I ask, grinning at him.

"I don't know. The sun sets at like 5.00 - I hadn't stayed up until midnight before - I didn't know how long it takes. Why are you all on my case about this?" Kit asks.

"You were ten," Simon says simply, "you really should have known better."

Kit doesn't have a response, so just repeats what Simon said in a stupid voice.

Max laughs a little before asking the next question, "what does being the last performance at Time Square mean to you?"

"I mean we all grew up in New York," I say. "And apart from Kit apparently, I think you feel kind of attached to the tradition. Simon and I used to spend every New Years Eve together, and we'd watch it all; the performances and the people celebrating…"

"But we moved to L.A. when we were fifteen, so we were never really old enough to become a part of the celebration - we'd always watch from someone's bedroom rather than with everyone in the street, so it's just really cool to be a part of it all," Simon finishes.

"It's like a really full circle moment," Alec adds, "like they said you go from staying up until midnight to watch the ball drop and the musical act… to becoming the musical act; I think this is a real 'we've made it' moment."

"I just think it'll be good to actually see it happen - you know for real," Kit says, and then we all laugh. Count on Kit to end the sentimental moment.

We answer a few more questions, and then Max tells us that he thinks they have enough for now. Magnus ushers us all out of the hotel room so that we can get to Time Square. It's only midday but there are tens of thousands of people are already in the street trying to get a good position for the night.

"You guys have got sound check in about ten minutes," Magnus tells us once were situated in our trailer, "so put on a jacket and come outside."

Because we're doing a medley of songs, we'd decided that everyone should just stick to one instrument. I grab my drum sticks, and everyone else gets their guitar, and then we follow Magnus outside. All of the camera's following us reminds me of when we were filming the documentary and how horrible that was. But this is only one day, and it's because it's a big event.

I look back and see Simon explaining what we;re about to do to one of the cameras - he's so much better at all of this than me.

We finish our sound check, which goes well, and talk to some of the other performers for the night.

"They're here," Magnus tells us, and then ushers us back to our trailer. Inside is Luke, Rebecca, Max and Isabelle. Jace had to go back to London to start filming again, and Mayrese and Robert said this wasn't their scene. I'm not sure if Kit invited his parents, but don't ask - it's not really any of my business.

"Clary! I just saw Post Malone outside!" Max says as soon as he sees me.

"Did you?" I ask, bending down a bit to hug him. I love Max, but I think I love him a little more because he's small for his age as well. "Maybe we can go find him in a little bit and say hi."

"Really! Hey Izzy - Clary said she's going to take me to meet Post Malone," Max says, tugging on his sisters jacket.

"Did she?" Izzy asks, smiling at me, "that nice - did you say thank you?"

"Oh! Thank you Clary!" Max says, hugging me again.

"That's okay," I say, laughing a little and ruffling his hair.

"We haven't even been in here for a minute and he already love you more somehow," Alec says, turning away from Luke.

"What can I say, I have a gift?" I say, lightly hitting him on the chest as I make my way over to Luke.

"Hey Clary," he says, grabbing me into a tight bear hug. "How are you?"

"Well since I saw you - two days ago - things have been good. How about you? Book shop hold up without you there?" I ask.

"Well it was closed for most of the time I was gone, but Maia held everything up. She was very excited to see the book you got me. She said she was surprised she was able to keep it a surprise for so long," Luke answers.

"I'm glad she did - and I'm glad everything was good. Maybe we can make your Christmas trip an annual one," I say.

"Or maybe you could come to New York," Luke adds.

"Maybe…" I say, but smile up at him. I would love to spend the holidays in New York again.

Everything is pretty smooth sailing. Max and I manage to track down Post Malone, and he signs on of Max's Manga's.

Director Max follows Kit and I in for our yoga session, and something that had only been hinted at before is finally caught on camera for the public to see.

At around 11.30 we start getting ready to go on stage. Luke and Izzy and everyone else are able to get a good spot in front of the stage.

"Break a leg," Magnus tells us just before going down to join the others, "you guys deserve this. I want you to enjoy it, okay!"

Once Magnus is gone, we get in our little circle. "Let's just think of this as the warm up to the tour," Alec says.

"Yeah, and try not to about the million people that in time square, millions more watching in America and possibly like a billion watching world wide!" Kit says cheerfully.

"Jesus Kit, did you have to bring that up?" Simon asks.

"Don't think about it," I tell him, "you've got this."

One of the stage crew tells us that we have 30 seconds before we go on.

"I'll see you up there," I say, and head over to the other side of the stage with Alec.

"You're on!" someone says, and I quickly wink at Alec before running on the stage.

"You guys were amazing!" Max says as we meet up with them again in the trailer.

"Thanks Maxxie," Alec says, ruffling his hair.

"Seriously good set," Izzy says.

"Can't believe that's my little bro," Becky says, pretending to wipe a tear.

"Good job kiddo," Luke says, pulling me in for another bear hug.

"We should get back out there," Simon says. "I mean we can sit here and talk about how good we are until we lose our voices, but there's a ball that's going to drop out there very soon, and I for one don't want to miss it.

"3… 2… 1… happy new year!" everyone yells.

I look over and see Magnus and Alec kissing, and Simon and Izzy. Kit looks at me, raises his eyebrows and then shrugs. I stand up on my tippy toes and kiss him on the cheek. "Happy new year, Kit."

* * *

I'm back to regular posting now by the way, so I'll have another chapter up on Friday. Hope you have a great night, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter :)


	61. Chapter 61: Through the Grapevine

**Chapter 61: Through the Grapevine**

Hey guys, hope you like this chapter. There are a bunch of song mentions, but I'm not going to list them at the bottom because I think it's all pretty clear, but if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask!

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

"You're officially one and a half months through your tour!" Magnus says as he opens the windows on the tour bus.

"Is that all?" Kit asks, groaning. I hear shuffling in the bunk above me and assume he's rolling onto his stomach to block the sunlight.

"Look, I know we're all tired, but I feel like I remember you all saying something about _really enjoying_ this tour. Is that all out the window already?" he asks, beginning to brew us coffee.

"Why are you in such a good mood today?" Simon asks, completely ignoring his question.

"Because you only have one interview today. Which means more time for napping, or exploring the city or doing whatever you please. And it means Alec and I can go on a date," he says, quickly kissing his boyfriend.

"You two are so lucky," I say, slowly sitting up, careful to not hit my head on the bunk above me. "You two get to be together like… all the time."

"Yes, but navigating business relationships can be difficult biscuit; the grass is always greener," Magnus tells me, handing me a mug of black coffee.

"Thanks," I say, blowing on it to cool it down. "But I haven't seen him since Christmas, and we're not in France for two more weeks!" Jace has a few days off when we are in Paris, so he is going to fly in to watch the concerts and hang out. By that time, it will have been over two months since we'd last seen each other at Christmas.

"Well it's not like you'd have much time to be with him if he were here," Simon says. Izzy had been able to visit a few times when she wasn't needed by Jace, but even Simon and Izzy hadn't been able to spend much time together since the tour started. "Our shows are longer and there are more of them, we have to spend more time rehearsing because we sing a new cover every night. Not to mention there seems to be more press than ever."

"Today not included," Alec says, thanking Magnus as he takes his cup of coffee.

"Which is why you all need to get up soon, get your butts into the gym and off to your interview, so you can have as much free time as possible today," Magnus says, finally pouring his own cup of coffee.

I sigh. "Then let's get to it!"

"So something I've really loved following this tour is all the covers you have been doing," the interviewer, Sarah says. "How long have you had that idea, and what made you want to do it?"

"It was Clary's idea actually," Alec says. "We had agreed that we all wanted to make this tour the biggest and the best, and that naturally lead to longer concerts. But then Clary said we should do a cover at each show to really make each show as good as possible."

"Another thing that I think we all thought was important," Simon adds, "so that each show is unique. We want each person to walk away with their own kind of experience and memory, and be able to tell people, 'I was at the show when they sung… xyz. It's important to us that people have something to hold onto while we are on our break."

"So each show will have a different cover… no repeats?" Sarah asks.

"Yeah," Kit replies, "every show gets its own individual cover."

"Well you've only been on tour for a month and a half, so one can only imagine what's to come. I'd love to go over a few that you've down already - talk through the ideas behind them?" Sarah asks, motioning towards a TV.

We all nod, and the first picture comes up, and I know what it's going to be before the video starts playing. We're all standing on stage, each in a different pose, and each dressed up like a member of ABBA. We'd cut no corners, having the costumes made for each of us. I was dressed in this cute metallic mini dress, with thigh high platform heels. I'd taken my hair out of their braids, so it was really big and curly. I'd managed to convince each of the guys to wear their own pair of platform heels, and they were in these metallic overalls with shiny shirts underneath.

The video starts playing and we watch for a little while as we dance across the stage singing _Super Trouper_. She pauses the video as we're all pointing out to the audience.

"So why this song, and why the costumes?" she asks with a smile on her face.

All of the guys look at me, "well," I begin, "I absolutely love ABBA, and knew we had to do at least one song on tour. It felt wrong to do it anywhere outside of Sweden, so that's why we did it in Stockholm. I think we chose that song because it's one of my favourites, and we already play _Dancing Queen_ before the concert starts. And we _had_ to do the costumes. If you're going to perform ABBA, the look is half the gig."

"I'd just like to say that it took a lot of convincing from Clary to get me into those shoes!" Simon says.

"And you loved them once you put them on," I say, looking over at him.

"They did make my legs look amazing," he admits.

"Plus," Kit adds, "they're just sick. Who wouldn't want to wear those?"

Sarah flicks to the next video, and again I instantly know what song it is. We're all dressed in black for this one, and huddled together. As _It's Gonna be Me_ begins to play, we all start doing the choreographed dance, which goes for the whole song, while we sing. Kit and Alec had been hesitant about this, but Simon and I had insisted that we do it, and said we'd help them through it all - which we did.

She pauses the video, "who knew you could all dance like that! Whose idea was that one - it's just so different to what you normally do… it was so unexpected."

"Well, Simon really wanted to do a choreographed dance at least once on tour," Kit says, "so we just wanted to get it over with quickly."

"Why did you want to a choreographed dance, Simon?" Sarah asks.

"We'd bought up the fact that Clary and I had met at our dance class when we were younger, and both of us kept doing it till we were about fifteen - well, with an occasional class every now-and-then, so I just wanted a chance to finally use what I'd spent so long learned. Clary actually choreographed that dance, and then taught it to us."

"Well everyone's been amazed that's seen it. No one really knew quite what you were capable of. Which brings me to another fan favourite," she says, changing the screen to the next song, "where everyone saw a side to Alec that they didn't know existed!"

In the video, Alec is singing _All About that Bass_ by Meghan Trainor. You can tell he's kind of reluctant in the beginning, only dancing a little bit, but as Kit and I come over and dance with him, and he could see how into it the crowd is, he begins to get really into it.

"You know, I had my doubts whether he was capable of it as well," Kit says, "I was wondering if I should have been doing it, but he clearly proved everyone wrong. I mean just look at the man shake his ass!

I look over at Alec, who is suitably red. "He did us all very proud that day," I say, knocking his shoulder with my own. "I couldn't imagine it being any better than that."

"Much better than I could have done by any means," Simon adds, lightly punching him.

Leaning into everything, Alec stands up and does two little bows as everyone claps for him, before sitting down again, still a little bit red in the cheeks.

"And the final song I want to look at in the trip down memory lane is one of my personal favourite moments of the tour so far…" Sarah says, turning to the screen again.

In the video, I'm singing _Jolene_ by Dolly Parton, and only as I'm singing the song in front of thousands of people do I realise that the description of Jolene; " _with flaming locks of auburn hair, With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green,_ " pretty much matches me, and it shows. I start laughing as I sing through the next few lines, and all of the guys laugh as well, realising that I'd never noticed this before.

"We still can't believe she didn't know!" Simon says, laughing at watching the video again.

"Who doesn't notice when a description of them is in a song?" Kit says.

" _Me_ , apparently…" I say. Now it's my turn to go red.

"Well that all my videos, and I've only got one more question… what does the next few months hold in store?" Sarah asks.

"Well we're not going to spoil any of the covers - we want them to be a surprise," Alec says.

"I think just touring and generally having a fun time," Simon says, looking at everyone.

"Really," I say, "who knows what the future has in store!"

 **Jace's POV**

"Oh my God! You're really going to propose to Clary?" Izzy practically screams. Thank God nobody else is around.

"That's what I just said, isn't it?" I reply.

"When, where, how?!" Izzy asks quickly.

"I'm thinking in a couple of weeks in Paris. That's the next time I'll see Clary, and Paris feels romantic. But I wanted your help with the how. That's why I'm telling you now."

"Wow, Paris… really pulling out the big guns," Izzy says, finally starting to calm down. "Well, naturally you'll have to get a hotel with a room of the Eiffel Tower. I think it should have a balcony that overlooks the tower and a nice French street… and then you should get a nice bottle of champagne, and rose petals everywhere and hundreds of candles. And you should dress up… ugh, it'll be so romantic."

"You really seem to have thought about this," I say, smirking at her.

"Every girl dreams of being proposed to in Paris… I guess that dream comes true for some girls," Izzy says dreamily.

"Clary's more than just some girl… do you think it's too cliched maybe - should I do something more personal?" I ask, suddenly panicking that everything was wrong.

"No Jace, it all sounds perfect. It'll be small and intimate but so romantic. It'll be perfect," she tells me.

"Okay…" I say, beginning to breathe again.

"Well I can help you set it up if you want… but I'll probably need some help from Magnus to make sure everything is perfect and runs smoothly. Have you told him yet?" Izzy asks.

"I've only told my parents, Luke and Jonathan. And now you, I guess," I tell her.

"Can I tell Magnus then? Just to help organise…" Izzy asks.

I shrug, telling her I don't care, and then someone comes into my dressing room telling me I'm needed on set.

Naturally, when I wake up the next morning I have a heap of texts from all of the guys congratulating me.

I pick up my phone and call Alec.

"Hey Jace, congrats man. Proposing… that's a big step," he says.

"Yeah, thanks. Hey I just need to check - Clary doesn't know anything, does she?" I ask. Knowing how much time they all spend around each other I wouldn't be surprised if it slipped out, and I really wanted it to be a surprise.

"No, no - she doesn't know anything. I found out because Magnus told me after he got the call from Izzy. Then Simon found out because he came into our room without knocking - which he's done an alarming amount of times, I might add. And then Simon told Kit, but Kit wouldn't say anything. He really likes to keep secrets, for some reason…"

"Right, okay. Thanks," I say.

"No problem," Alec replies.

Suddenly, it occurs to me that they may have expected to find out from me. "Hey, look I'm sorry you all had to find out through the grapevine. I really should have told, probably should've asked for your permission, really."

"No it's fine. You don't need my, or any of the others permission to marry Clary." I hear some noise in the background, "hey, sorry I've got to go. But good luck with everything, not that you'll need it!"

"Thanks Alec, I'll see you in a few weeks," I reply.

"See you then," he says, and then hangs up. I guess there is no backing out of it now.

* * *

So that's that chapter done, I hope you liked it! Feel free to leave a review with any questions, comments or suggestions. I think you can guess what's in the next chapter ;) See you then!


	62. Chapter 62: The Proposal

**Chapter 62: The Proposal**

Hey guys, thanks for coming back to the story. I hope you enjoy this chapter. It has some French in it again, which I just used a translating website for, so I won't be at all offended if you tell me it's wrong, but I do have what I wanted it to be in English in brackets after. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

" _Merci Paris, tu as été une foule incroyable. Rentre bien. Nous t'aimons!_ " I yell to the crowd, who are all screaming back. (Thank you Paris, you have been an incredible crowd. Get home safely. We love you!)

We all line up at the front of the stage and wave at everyone, and after a little while I yell, "ave atque vale," but it's drowned out by the crowd. After that we all get off the stage, where Jace, Izzy and Magnus are waiting for us.

Jace quickly kisses me, "great show tonight. I've really missed coming to them. I went to so many on your last tour, and on this one I've only been to your London shows and this one!"

"It's okay. You're busy - I get it," I tell him, gently grabbing his hand.

I turn and look at everyone else, "I don't know about you guys," Simon says, "but I'm beat. I'm gonna head back to the hotel." He then gives Jace some weird look.

"You should probably go back with them," Jace tells me.

"Remind me again why you're not staying with me?" I ask, looking up at him.

"Because I'm being paid a shit ton to stay at my hotel," Jace says, smiling down at me.

"And I can't stay with you because…"

"Because you need to get rest," he tells me. "And I don't know how much of that you'll get if you stay with me."

"I think I can sacrifice one night, Jace," I tell him, tugging on the collar of his jacket. I hold down a yawn, but I think he can tell.

"Look if something happens I think it's better that you're with everyone. And you'd have to get up so early to get on the bus anyway - I think it's just easier if you're with everyone."

"Fine," I tell him shortly. If he doesn't want to be with me that badly, then I'm not going to beg. "I guess I'll see you in a few months then." I walk over to Simon. "Are we going now?"

Simon quickly looks over at Jace before nodding, and heading out the back to where all of our stuff is stashed. We quickly get changed before going to the underground tunnels of the stadium where there is a car waiting for us. In the _ever_ lucrative business we work in, we're being paid to drive Audi's in Paris, so I get in the driver's seat and everyone else piles in.

We drive back in silence to the hotel. We are given a parking space, and then I head up to my room to have a shower and get ready for bed. Honestly what is with Jace? He came from London because he had the weekend off, but then doesn't actually want to spend anytime with me. Whatever.

As I'm about to get in bed, my phone rings. I pick it up and see a picture of Jace on the screen. On one hand, I want to blow him off like he did to me, but something could be wrong, and I wouldn't forgive myself if something happened because of me.

"Jace?" I ask, answering the phone just before it stops ringing.

"Hey Clary," he says. "Look, I'm sorry about before. I thought about it, and you're totally right. We don't have much time to spend together, so of course we should be together tonight. Can you come to my hotel?"

"Look Jace, I'm glad you realised that, but it's really late, and honestly I am pretty tired. I think I should just stay here."

"Come on Clary, I know I was being a dick before, but I really think you should come over. Please!" he says, and I can _see_ his smile.

"Can't you just come here?" I ask, knowing full well that I've already started giving in to him.

"I really think you should come to mine - I have the nicest view, and this great big room. I promise I'll wake up early with you and get you back to the tour bus."

"I don't know Jace…" I say.

"Come on, you said it yourself - we're not going to see each other for at least a couple weeks after this…"

I look over at my perfectly made up bed. "Fine, I'll be over in a bit - but you better have something nice planned," I tell him, already starting to change out of my pyjama shorts and into sweatpants.

"I promise you, I do! I'll see you soon," Jace says, and then hangs up.

I roll my eyes at the whole situation, but at the end of the day, I wasn't going to pass on getting to spend time with Jace.

I call Diego and he says he'll drive me over. I quickly tell all the guys that I'm going to Jace's hotel before meeting Diego in the lobby and we head down to the car I was driving earlier.

"Thanks for driving," I tell him.

"It's no big deal," he replies.

As we leave the parking garage, we are instantly hounded by paparazzi, who get as many pictures as they can of us leaving, before getting on motorbikes and mopeds and following us. Thankfully, there isn't a lot of traffic on the street because it's late, so Diego is able to drive pretty quickly, but it means they can also follow us easily.

"What the hell is this?" I ask Diego.

"I don't know. They're not usually this bad. Hang on," he says, and has to swerve to avoid one of the bikes. He starts beeping, to try and get them out of the way, but they just keep taking photos.

"Should we pull over?" I ask, and Diego speeds up to make it through a light. I look back and most of them go through the red light to follow us.

"No, if we stop then they'll just surround the car and we won't be able to go again," he says, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

"Okay, then what do we do? This is crazy - they're way to close to the car. Someone is going to get hurt." I say, grabbing onto the handle on the roof of the car.

"No it's okay, I think if I just go this way…" the car hits something, and I hear Diego calling my name, and then I don't hear anything.

 **Jace's POV**

I look around at the balcony that Izzy helped me set up. There are rose petals all over the ground, and literally hundreds of candles everywhere. There are fairy lights hung up across the roof to light the area. There's a bucket filled with ice, and a bottle of Clary's favourite champagne it. I lean on the railing and look out at the streets of Paris, and at the Eiffel tower. In all honesty, this room cost a fortune, and I wasn't being paid a cent to stay in it, but I had to think of a good reason I couldn't stay at Clary's.

I take the ring box out of my pocket and look at the ring one last time. Tonight I'm finally going to do it. I'm finally going to ask Clary to marry me, to start the beginning of the rest of our lives. Everything is perfect - well, nearly everything. Clary isn't here yet.

I go back inside to check my phone to see if I've missed any texts or calls from Clary. She really should've been here by now. Maybe she accidentally fell asleep - she did actually look tired after the show. I know I should let her rest, but I'm not sure when I'll have another opportunity to do this, so I decide to call her to see where she is - or if she's even left. She doesn't answer the phone. Clary's usually a pretty light sleeper, so unless she's driving, I'm not sure why she wouldn't pick up.

Beginning to worry, I call Alec to see if he knows where Clary is.

"Did she say yes?" Alec asks excitedly as soon as he picks up the phone.

"What? No, she's not here yet. I was calling to ask if she fell asleep or something," I say, growing concerned.

"No - she left like an hour ago. She should definitely be there by now. Hold on, I'll get Magnus to call Diego. He should know where she is." I hear a bunch of movement, and some murmuring, and I just want to yell into the phone. How could no one know where Clary is? Something could be seriously wrong. I hear a phone ring, and after a little bit of silence, Alec is back on the phone.

"Jace - the was Diego on the phone then. A bunch of paparazzi were chasing him and Clary and they got into a car accident. Clary's at the hospital."

"What hospital?" I ask, already hurrying out of the room.

Alec quickly tells me the address, and then adds, "we're all going there now, we'll see you there soon?"

"Is Clary okay?" I ask, getting into a cab and quickly telling him where to go.

"Diego says she hasn't woken up yet, but that she should be okay."

"Okay. Thanks. I'll see you soon." I tell him, not at all feeling calmed by his words.

"She's going to be okay Jace," he says before I hang up the phone.

It doesn't actually take that long to get to the hospital, but it feels like hours. Once he pulls up, I throw the driver a bunch of notes before running into the hospital.

" _Clary Fray? Ma petite amie. Est-elle ici? Elle a eu un accident de voiture_." I ask the lady sitting at the front desk in a rush. (Clary Fray? My girlfriend. Is she here? She was in a car accident.)

She looks over something on her computer before answering, " _Oui oui. Elle est arrivée il n'y a pas longtemps. Elle est au niveau trois dans la salle vingt-six._ " (Yes, yes. She arrived not long ago. She is on level three in room twenty-six.)

" _Merci_ ," I say, and look around the reception trying to figure out how to get to Clary's room.

"Jace," someone yells, and I turn and see Alec, along with all of the guys.

"Come on," I tell them, quickly heading to the elevator.

Once we find Clary's room, we all head in and see Diego sitting in a chair next to Clary's bed. She looks okay, apart from the bandage on her head and tubes in her arm. And the fact that she isn't awake.

"Is she okay?" someone asks.

"She's going to be okay. I'm sorry - I don't have a lot of information. I don't speak French and her doctor doesn't speak very good English," Diego says.

"Could you go get her doctor?" Magnus, I think, asks.

Diego leaves the room, but my eyes are still glued to Clary. This is my fault. I was the one who made her come to my hotel tonight. I was the reason she was only with Diego. Clary would be fine if it wasn't for me.

" _Oh - il y a trop de monde dans cette pièce. Famille uniquement s'il vous plaît._ " The doctor says as he walks into the room. (Oh - there are too many people in this room. Family only please.)

"And I told you; we don't speak French-," Diego says annoyed.

" _Nous sommes de la famille_ ," I cut him off, finally snapping out of my trance. " _Elle ira bien?_ " (We are family. Will she be okay?)

The doctor looks around the room and sighs, "oui. Elle s'est cogné la tête. Elle avait besoin de quelques points de suture et a une commotion cérébrale, mais elle ira bien." (Yes. She hit her head. She needed a few stitches and has a concussion, but she will be fine.)

"She's okay," I tell everyone, looking back at Clary. "She got a few stitches and has a concussion, but she'll be fine."

Everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

"Maintenant, certains d'entre vous doivent vraiment partir. S'il vous plaît," the doctor says, opening the door. (Now some of you really need to leave. Please.)

"He says some of us need to leave," I tell everyone.

A few people head towards the door, but then Clary moans and slowly opens her eyes, and everyone rushes back to surround her bed. She looks around at everyone and looks slightly confused.

"Where am I?" she asks.

"Clary, you're at the hospital. You were in a car accident," I tell her softly.

"Right," she says, letting the information sink in. "Okay."

"Do you need anything?" Simon asks.

She looks around at everyone again, looking more confused than before. She just shakes her head.

The doctor steps in front of Kit and starts checking on Clary and asking her some basic questions. Once the doctor leaves, Clary sits up in bed, and looks around once again.

"I'm sorry," Clary says, "I don't mean to be rude. But who are all you people?"

* * *

Sorry for the cliff hanger! Hope you liked that chapter. Come back on Friday to find out what happened to Clary. If you have any questions, comments or suggestions, feel free to leave a review - everything is appreciated. Have a great week :)


	63. Chapter 63: What Now?

**Chapter 63: What Now?**

Finally your update! I got a fair amount of reviews asking for this one. Any way, thanks for the reviews and on with the chapter!

 **Jace's POV**

No one knows what to say. I can feel my heart beating against my rib cage. How could Clary not know the people standing in this room? Clary looks around at us all again, still looking confused.

"Clary what do you mean?" Simon eventually asks.

She smiles at Simon, no longer looking confused. "I mean… you're all in pyjamas. I've never known you to go in public in pyjamas. Especially you Magnus, even if they are the sparkliest pair of pyjamas I've ever seen. How can I be sure you're my friends?"

You can literally feel the tension leaving everyone in the room. Clary's okay.

She finally looks over at me and smiles. "Except for you," she says, still looking at me, "you're actually quite dressed up." I just shrug back.

She looks around the room, at what must be a bunch of angry or hurt faces, and stops smiling. "I'm sorry, that was a bit of a dick move. Of course I know who you all are! Don't get me wrong - I was confused at the beginning - last I remembered I was in a car on the way to Jace's hotel and then I wake up here with all of you staring down at me, but then I kind of figured everything out and thought I could have some fun."

"Well at least we know the car accident wasn't bad - didn't change her personality at all," Kit says, and then quickly adds "unfortunately."

Clary looks mildly offended, but it quickly turns into a smile.

"You guys really didn't all have to come!" she says, sitting up a bit. "I'm fine - I mean I have a bit of a head ache, but there's really no reason for all of this."

"If I was in a car accident would you come to the hospital?" Simon asks.

"Of course," she quickly replies.

"Exactly."

"Look she's not wrong though," Magnus says. "Now we can all rest assured that Clary is okay, we actually have to do the resting bit. We've got an early departure tomorrow, so everyone back to the hotel!"

Clary begins to get out of bed, but everyone begins pushing her back into it almost the exact same time.

"Everyone else," Magnus clarifies. "Clary you're staying here tonight so they can monitor you. I'm going to talk to them about a drip as well. We need you healthy for the rest of the tour."

Clary flops back down into the bed, and looks like she wants to argue but doesn't actually say anything.

"Good - we'll see you in the morning biscuit." Magnus says, straightening out his pyjamas to face the public again.

"I'll come talk to the doctor with you," I say to Magnus, knowing that he'll need the help, and not wanting to stay in the room with Clary at the moment.

I leave before she can protest, and talk to the doctor and confirming everything with Magnus. I wait outside Clarys door for a while before actually working up the courage to open it. When I finally do, she is looking at the door like she was waiting for me to come back.

I'm about to apologise to her, when she beats me to it. "Jace. I'm so sorry."

"You're sorry? What do you have to be sorry about. It's me who's sorry," I say, sitting in the seat next to her bed.

"About that joke. It was stupid - I could see you were all worried and I should have just said I was fine, but I got carried away… It wasn't nice and I'm sorry. What would you have to be sorry for?"

"You said you were tired and that you didn't want to come over… and I didn't listen. I forced you to come and then you got hurt and… it's all my fault," I say, unable to look her in the eyes.

She gently grabs my chin and forces me to look at her. "Jace I'm fine. And none of this is your fault. I promise you. If we hadn't of been chased, then I would have gotten to your hotel with no problems. I promise you I'm fine."

"But you're not fine," I say, gently running my thumb over the bandage on her head.

"Everyone gets hurt sometimes," she tells me. "Look," she says, pulling her sleeve back to show me her triceps. "I got this scar when Simon pushed me out of a tree once. And this one," she says, showing me her left hand, "I got when Alec was cutting new wire for his bass. I have a few others but I think you get the point. And this," she says, pointing at her bandage, "isn't even your fault. So stop blaming yourself for it."

I smile weakly at her, which she takes as an excuse to grab my hand. "So how are you anyway," she asks, holding back a yawn. "We haven't really gotten to speak for a while."

"Everything's on track with the movie," I tell her. "Look, we can talk in the morning. It's late, and you should really get some rest now. Doctors orders!" I say, tucking her into bed.

"Jace?" she asks, though she looks like she's already drifting off.

"Yeah?"

"Will you stay with me? Please. At least until I fall asleep?" she asks, rolling over and looking at me.

"Of course," I answer, gently brushing her hair off her forehead. "I'll stay as long as you need."

I look at her as she falls asleep, horrible thoughts running through my head. Her breathing evens out, and I gently lift my hand off her head and she doesn't react, so I assume she's asleep.

I quietly leave her room, and sit down in hallway just outside. I take out my phone and ring the first person I can think of.

"Jace?" Izzy asks confused. I've clearly woken her up. "Is everything okay with Clary? Simon told me she was in an accident."

"Yeah everything's fine, she just fell asleep," I answer.

"Okay well then, can whatever you need to say wait until morning, because it's really early-"

"I could've lost her Iz," I say, and taste salt when I lick my lips. I'm not sure when I started crying, but I quickly wipe away the tears.

"Simon says she just has a concussion. Jace everything's going to be fine," Izzy says, her voice growing concerned.

"I know that know. But if anything happened differently… people die in car crashes, Iz. Everyday. I nearly killed her," I say, wiping away the tears that won't stop falling. I don't deserve to cry. I should have to deal with this. I shouldn't even be talking to Izzy right now.

"I don't know how you got to that conclusion Jace, but it's not true-" Izzy says, speaking quickly, but I cut her off.

"Maybe it's a sign. Maybe it's dangerous for her to be with me. I was going to propose," I choke out, "and she was in a car crash on the fucking way there. I've never thought I was good enough for her, and this confirms it."

"Jace-" I hang up the phone. My minds made up. The only good thing I can do for Clary now is leave. And I have to do it now - rip the band-aid off and let her have a better life - the life she deserves.

Izzy calls be back, but I don't answer. I wipe my face for the last time before standing. I look back at Clary's door and can't help but walk over to it. It's like I don't have control over my body when I open the door. She's laying in the same position as when I left; on her side with her hand still outstretched towards the chair I was sitting in before. I let out a shuddering breath before closing the door. For the last time.

I don't really know how, but I somehow end up back at my hotel, and I numbly hit the button in the elevator to go up to my level. The moment I open the door I know it's a mistake coming back here, but I had to get my passport if I was going to get out of the country.

I quickly head out to the balcony and blow out all the candles so I don't burn the place down. I gather up everything in the room quickly, and look around. _How differently this night could have gone._ I drop my bag and walk over to the desk, and begin writing a note. At some point I must start crying again, because as I look at the finished page, I notice a few drops of water on it. I leave it on my bed, along with Clary's ring. _Rip off the band-aid Herondale_. I rush down to the lobby and get them to order me a cab, seeing as it's so early and there won't be many on the street. I almost run to get in the taxi when it finally arrives.

"Airport," I tell the driver. My only hope now is that I can get out before anyone notices I'm gone.

Well another cliff hanger... sort of. I know this chapter was a little bit shorted, but I promise the next update will be worth it! I hope you have a great week, and feel free to leave a review with any questions, comments or suggestions.


	64. Chapter 64:To Endings and New Beginnings

**Chapter 64: To Endings and New Beginnings**

Okay, I know everyone's eager to get into the chapter. As normal, the English is in brackets after the French! Now... onto the chapter. I hope you like it!

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

I wake up in the hospital with a pretty serious headache, but otherwise I feel fine. I can hear someone softly snoring next to me. I know that I asked Jace to stay, and he's usually pretty good with that sort of thing, but my heart still beats a little faster at the thought of him staying here all night just for me.

I slowly open my eyes and am shocked to see Simon sitting in the chair next to me, awkwardly curled up in the seat. Despite expecting to see Jace, my smile grows at seeing Simon in the chair. It's just like the time when I was eleven, and Simon accidentally pushed me out of the tree on Luke's farm. He felt so guilty that I broke my arm that he refused to leave the hospital until I could too.

I take my phone out of my bag while waiting for Simon to wake up - or more likely for someone to come and wake him up because we'll have to leave.

After going through a couple of emails and texts, I go onto the news app to see if anything has been written about my accident. It's not surprising to find that a bunch of articles have already been written, along with photos of the crash, and me being picked up by the ambulance.

After quickly reading through a couple of articles, I'm pleased to see that pretty much everyone is on my side, and is angry at the paparazzi for how dangerous they made the situation. Someone found one of the paparazzi involved in the chase, and they said that they were just trying to get photos of me and the mystery man in the car, and to see where we were going together. The photos they did manage to get of me in the car, clearly show that I'm with Diego though, and a lot of people have already spoken up about how normal it is for me to be in the car with my security guard.

I hear Simon waking up, so I quickly put my phone back in my bag.

When Simon sees that I'm already awake, he quickly sits up in the chair, pushes his hair out of his eyes (which makes it stick up at ungodly angles) and fixes his glasses.

"Clary - how are you? Do you need anything? Do you want me to get the doctor?" he asks, while looking over me to make sure I'm alright.

"I'm fine Simon, I don't need any doctors," I tell him, trying not to laugh at his urgency. He sits back in the chair a bit, comfortable that I'm okay. "Thanks for being here Simon - you didn't have to come."

"Well… I wanted to make sure you were alright. And I also wanted to see if you'd be okay to go on the bus, or if you just wanted to get a flight so you could leave later."

"I'm good going on the bus with you guys," and then try to ask as casually as possible; "hey, umm… do you know where Jace is?" I don't want Simon to think I'd rather have Jace here, but I know that Jace was here when I fell asleep.

"I don't know Clary, sorry. I didn't see him when I got here like an hour ago. Maybe he went back to his hotel? He seemed pretty shaken up about everything that happened last night."

"Okay, thank Si." I say, and grab my phone again to call Jace. I know it's early, but I just want to talk to him to make sure he's okay. He doesn't pick up the phone, however, and I don't have time to question Simon, because the doctor comes into the room then to check on everything to discharge me.

Once I'm discharged, I try to get a taxi, and when one finally stops for me, I quickly turn to Simon. "Hey, can you tell Magnus I might need to take him up on that flight offer. I need to go find Jace and sort everything out, and if he's not at his hotel… I promise I'll be there for the meet and greet, okay."

I see Simon reluctantly nod, and get in the cab before he can try to talk me out of going to find Jace.

Once I get to Jace's hotel, I go to the front desk and get a key for his room. I knock on the door first, but like I expected there is no answer. I swipe the key and slowly open the door, almost scared of what I'll see on the other side.

What I did not expect to see was a bunch of rose petals that led out to the balcony. I follow the path, and when I get outside, I see how beautifully everything is set up, with candles and lights and champagne. I think about the date: it wasn't our anniversary or anyone's birthday.

I go back inside, and this time notice the box and note on the bed that I was too distracted to see last time. I slowly walk over to the bed, and pick up the letter with shaking hands, ignoring the box for now. It's not hard to guess what's in there.

 _Clary,_

 _I'm so sorry to have put you through everything, but I can't do this anymore. Know that it has nothing to do with you. It's because of how much I love you that I have to leave. You deserve better than me. I'm not sure anyone will ever deserve you, but you should have the opportunity to see if there is anyone out there who does._

 _I'm sorry if doing this hurts you, but I know it's the right thing to do and hope that you can see it too._

 _I'm sure we'll meet again someday, but until then, I hope you're happy, and go get everything you want._

 _Always yours, Jace._

I drop the note back onto the bed and pick up the box. Inside is one of the most beautiful rings I've ever seen, and when I look closer, I see that it has an engraving inside the band. _I swear on us._ I squeeze the box tighter and roll my eyes. Even now, right after he's broken my heart, Jace is the most romantic man I've ever met. I can remember the exact time he said that...

"Where could they be?" I mutter to myself, pulling everything out of my bag for the second time in pursuit of my drum sticks. Luke had given them to me before my first big concert, and I'd used them every single time I'd performed after that. I'd be dammed before going on stage without them. Someone must have hidden them - there was no other explanation for it.

I quickly look around the room and see Jace lounging on a couch, scrolling through his phone. I storm over to him.

"You hid them, didn't you?" I demand.

He puts down his phone and stands, grabbing me around both my shoulders. "Let's slow down for a minute," he tells me. "What are you accusing me of hiding?"

"My drum sticks - they were in my bag when I left, and now they're not," I tell him quickly.

"I didn't hide anything Clary," he tells me softly.

"Well someone did! Swear on God and the angles that you didn't hide them Jace Herondale," I say, poking him in the chest.

"I swear on God and the angles," he says slowly. "I swear on my living mothers future grave… Fuck all that - I swear on us."

"Why on us?" I ask quietly.

"Because there's nothing I believe in more," he says, so sure of himself.

I look up at him, stunned to silence. _I swear on us, because there is nothing I believe in more._ I quickly pull him down and kiss him, trying to put everything I can't say into the kiss. Once he finally pulls back, he clears his throat before saying, "we'll find your drumsticks, Clary." But they had been long forgotten, replaced by consuming thoughts about this man who had chosen to love me.

I quickly shove the ring in its box in my pocket, before taking out my phone to ring Izzy. If I was going to do one thing today, it was find Jace Herondale.

"Hey Clary h-" Izzy begin but I quickly cut her off.

"Where is he Isabelle?" I ask bluntly. I don't have time to waste.

"Where's who? Simon? He said he was going to meet you at the hospital," she says, clearly trying to sound aloof.

"Where's Jace?" I clarify.

"Clary, I don't know where he is all the time…" she says softly.

"But you know where he is now," I say a little aggressively. "If I know Jace, and I like to think I do, he'd want to be getting out of Paris as quickly as possible. So is he driving, or getting a flight or a train?"

"Clary…" Izzy says, almost pleading with me to not make her say.

"Tell me Isabelle, otherwise I'm just going to have to fly everywhere myself looking for him. You can save us both a lot of time, and stop a massive mistake if you just tell me where he is now."

"Fine," she says, sounding defeated. "He's at the airport. He's on a 10.30 British Airways flight to London."

"What airport," I ask urgently, already heading out the door. I quickly check the time. It's already 9.45.

"Gaulle Airport," she answers, "but Clary, think before you go chasing-" I hang up the phone. I don't any warnings against what I'm about to do. I couldn't be more sure that it's the right thing.

I quickly hail a taxi, "Aéroport de Gaulle, le plus rapidement possible, merci." (Gaulle Airport, as quickly as possible, thank you.)

He fulfills my request, and I throw him a few 50 Euro notes and run into the airport, quickly buying a ticket and rushing through security. I look up on the board with all the flight. _British Airways flight BAW44 to London Heathrow Airport, Gate 30… Final Boarding Call._ Shit.

I sprint through the airport, getting to the gate as quickly as possible. I know people will be taking photos and videos of me, but I barely notice. I finally get to the gate, and see three people left in line, one with perfectly curled, golden hair, who is getting their ticket scanned.

"Jace," I yell. He quickly turns and sees me, and I can see how shocked he is. His face instantly goes pale and his eyebrows furrow as he tried to figure out how I tracked him down. I know I must look a mess; in my sweat suit with a massive parker over the top. With sneakers that aren't tied and my hair coming out of it's braids, but I don't care at all.

"Jace Herondale," I say, panting a little. "Don't you dare get on that plane."

He comes over to me, still clearly in shock. "Clary?" he asks. A massive group of people have gathered, all with their phones out. For possibly the first time in my adult life, I don't care. All I care about is Jace. Jace, however, looks around at all the people. "Come with me," he says.

He leads me out of the airport and into a taxi, and he tells the cabbie to drive into the car park, and then asks him to get out to give us some privacy, and hands him a bunch of notes.

Once we're alone, I pull the ring out of my pocket. He looks at the ring and then up at me.

"Where you really going to propose last night?" I ask.

"Of course I was. You saw the place, didn't you?" he says, almost angrily.

"Then how could you just leave? How do you go from wanting to spend the rest of life with someone to calling it quits without even talking to them? I thought you believed in us over everything else?" I say, thinking about the engraving inside the ring.

"Did you read the note?" he asks.

"I want to hear it from you. I want to hear it in person, now," I usually wouldn't be so forward, but I did just chase the man through an airport.

"Clary you deserve better," he says simply.

"That's crap. I get to decide what I deserve. So tell me the real reason. I've had people leave with no explanation before, and I don't need to go through that bullshit again. So if there's a _real_ reason you're leaving, just tell me, and then I'll let you go." _Then I won't have to spend the rest of my life wondering why I wasn't good enough for you_ , I think.

"You know me. When I start thinking I get carried away. I went to a dark place, and I can't drag you down there with me. And I was just so scared," he says, looking down at his hands. Confident Jace I knew how to handle; a Jace riddled with self doubt was something new.

"I get it. Trust me, I get it. Sometimes you think there's no way out of the darkness. But I can promise you there always is. You have me now, and I'll always be there to help guide you to the light. You may think I deserve better. You can think every single thing you do is wrong for me. But I know the truth. The truth is that I love you, so much. More than I ever thought possible. And I love the person you've helped me become. I'm happier than I've been in years. I healthier. And I'm finally looking forward to the future again. If I had gotten to your hotel last night, and if you asked me to marry you, I would have said yes. I would say yes if you asked me right now. Jace, nothing makes me happier than the thought of spending the rest of my life with you. And it's exactly what I want, and probably more than I deserve."

"That was some speech," Jace says, looking up to me and smirking. He grabs the ring box out of my hand. "Clary Fray, every minute I spend with you feels like a gift. You're like an angel God sent down to make me the man he knew I could be. Someone worth being loved by you. I can't promise to never fall down a dark hole again. I can't promise that I won't disappoint you. But I can promise to do everything in my power to make you happy, to make you feel loved. To give you everything you've ever wanted. Clary, marry me, and I'll spend the rest of my life fulfilling those promises. Marry me, and I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the way you make me feel. Clary Fray… will you marry me?"

I nod, and he quickly wipes away the tears that are falling. "Of course I'll marry you," I finally get out. He takes the ring out of the box, and slips it onto my finger.

* * *

So it's finally happened! I know there was a lot of lead up to this moment, but I'm happy with the way it turned out. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and the proposal :) If you have any comments, questions or suggestions feel free to leave a review and I'll answer in the best way possible. I hope you have a great week... see you at the next chapter!


	65. Chapter 65: It'll Never Be The Same

**Chapter 65: It'll Never Be The Same**

Hello everyone! Welcome back to the story. I hope you enjoy the chapter - it's the second last one! Let me know if your still interested in a sequel- I've started planning and writing and I think it'll be good. Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

News broke of our engagement that night when I wore my ring onto stage that night. Media sites had a field day when they figured out my car accident, Jace and my encounter at the airport and our engagement all happened within 24 hours.

But that was all months ago. Jace and I hadn't even begun thinking about wedding plans plans. At the moment, we're just happily engaged.

But that's not to say that life has been breezy - it's been anything but. Our last ever concert is tonight, and in the lead up, the press has been almost doubled, we've been rehearsing longer so we can start rehearsing for Royals for a Day, plus actually doing months worth of concerts. Jace finished filming his movie and did the press tour, and finished all the premiers about a week ago. I flew out to go to the first one with him in London, but couldn't go to any others. Because of our busy work schedules, we'd only been able to spend the last week together, and even that was only about an hour a day, across the whole day.

Jace and I had already booked a private island in Greece to go retreat to once everything is over, so we can both spend time together, without distractions, just getting back to a normal schedule. We're going to have to fly out to go to a few award shows, seeing as he'd already won the Golden Globe and Screen Actors Guild Award for best leading actor, and everyone was tipping him to win again at the BAFTAs and Oscars.

After people realised he could take on a much more serious role, and was really good at it, he started receiving a lot more offers for roles, but so far he's turned them all down, telling me he just wanted to spend some time with me, and not get so caught up in Hollywood.

"I can't believe this is it," Simon says, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"I know," Alec says. "Our very last concert - at least for a while. After so many…"

"Part of me just never believed this day would come," Kit says, smiling sadly.

"I know what you mean," I tell him. "Everything we've done for the past… year, has been for this day. And now that it's here… it doesn't feel real."

"I've gotten so many texts and messages… just everyone congratulating us on everything and wishing us luck," Simon says, scrolling through his phone looking amazed.

"Yeah, and so many people are telling me that they're coming to the concert tonight. People I'd never even imagined getting to talk to, let alone coming to one of our concerts," Kit says.

"Shit's crazy," Alec says, and then everyone laughs, because our only other option is to cry. We'd all managed to hold it together for all the shows in the lead up to this one, but I don't think any of us will make it through this concert.

"Magnus has organised a VIP box for everyone, but he told them we wouldn't see them until after the show - he thought we'd want it to just be us tonight. You know, to really savour each moment." Alec tells us.

"Magnus knows he's part of that, right?" I say. I'd been beginning to wonder where he was anyway.

"He said he was just going to stay out of the way until the show, and then watch it from the box. I tried to tell him he should be with us, but he wouldn't have it," Alec says.

"Well that just won't do!" I say, and call Magnus, putting it on speaker phone. He answers quickly.

"Is everything okay," he says, sounding stressed.

"Not at all," I answer.

"Why, what's wrong?" he asks, sounding even more stressed.

"You're not here," Simon say.

"It's just not the same without you. And you've been as big a part of this as us - bigger probably," Kit says, being humble for once in his life.

"We can't really enjoy it without you here," I add.

"I told you," Alec says, grinning.

"Fine, fine… I'm coming," he says. I can tell he's trying to be nonchalant about the whole thing, but he's actually really touched. When he arrives a minute later, there is a clear tear streak through the glitter under his eyes.

"10 minutes until stage," someone tells us.

"This is really it," Kit says, like it's finally hitting him.

"Let's go out there and do the best goddamn show we've ever done," Simon says, quickly wiping away a tear. We hadn't even made it onto the stage yet, and we were already losing it.

"Let's leave it all on the stage," I agree. "Give it everything we've got."

"Places please," the stage hand tells us. For this show we were all going to walk out together, instead of running on separately like we usually do. Alec pulls Simon and Magnus into a hug. Magnus grabs onto Kit and Simon onto me so that were in this big hug. I can hear someone sniffling, but I'm not sure who it is. We all seperate a little so that we can see each other, but we are still clinging onto each other tightly. We just look into each other's eyes and nod, thinking about everything we wanted to do tonight. We let each other go, and then all grab hands.

"You're on," the stage hand says. We slowly walk on, all still holding hands, but leaving Magnus at side stage. When we walk on, there is a deafening roar, and take deep breaths to help me cope, to stop me from crying.

After about a minute, we all take our places, and work our way through the concert, giving everything to each song, because no one knows when they are going to get to sing it again.

Then it's time for that night's covers. In what seems to be a bid to make the concert last as long as possible, we'd chosen to do a few. For the first one, we all gather at the piano, with me sitting in the seat to play, and Alec sitting next to me. Kit and Simon are both sitting on the hood of the piano so we all make a little group. As I begin to play the piano and the crowd realises what song we're singing, there is another near deafening roar.

All of us sing the begining;

 _You've got a friend in me  
You've got a friend in me_

And then Simon sings by himself;

 _When the road looks, rough ahead  
And you're miles and miles  
From your nice warm bed_

And then Kit sings by himself;

 _Just remember what your old pal said  
Boy, you've got a friend in me  
Yeah, You've got a friend in me_

We all sing together again;

 _You've got a friend in me  
You've got a friend in me_

And then Alec sings by himself;

 _You've got troubles, I've got 'em too  
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you  
We stick together and we see it through, cause_

Like always, we all sing together;

 _You've got a friend in me  
Yeah, You've got a friend in me_

And then I sing by myself;

 _And some other folks might be  
A little bit smarter than I am  
Bigger and stronger too  
Maybe, but none of them will ever love you the way I do  
It's me and you, boys_

I can hear everyone in the crowd 'aww' as I change the lyric from 'boy' to 'boys'. We then finish the song together.

 _And as the years go by  
Our friendship will never die  
You're gonna see  
It's our destiny  
You've got a friend in me  
You've got a friend in me  
You've got a friend in me  
You've got a friend in me_

After this, we all go back to our normal instruments, with Kit going to drums and me on guitar.

"This is Good Riddance by Green Day. As always, the lyrics will be on the screen… we'll probably need some help with this one." Simon says, before we play.

By the time the song finishes, all the guys have shed one or two tears, but I am full on ugly crying. I stood away from the microphone the whole song and just yelled out the lyrics while letting the tears fall. Upon seeing the state that I'm in, Simon quickly takes off his guitar and hurries over to me, helping me calm down a little. As I look down at the crowd, I can see heaps of other people crying in the mosh as well. I laugh to myself at the mental state of this stadium.

I then go back to my microphone. "So this is I'll Always Remember You From Hannah Montana. I couldn't even make it through the last song and I wasn't even singing, so I'll definitely need some help with this one… sing as loud as you can!

Surprisingly, I'm able to keep it together better for this song, and despite having to step away from the microphone a few times to steady myself, I make it through the whole song.

We keep going through the concert like normal until we get to _Shiver._ The song we had sung at every single one of our concerts. Our first ever single, our first ever song to go to number one on the charts. The song that defines us. We sing it through once, the crowd singing back the lyrics as loudly as they can, but I feel like I still have more to give. I look at all the guys, who look like they think the same. We nod at each other, and begin playing the song again. If possible, we go even harder the second time.

I look around at all the guys, who just shrug. Third times the charm. By the time we finish the song for the third time, Simon and I are literally gasping, barely able to breath. Everyone quickly takes off their guitars and we get into a huddle on the stage. We're grabbing onto each other so hard, onto everything we can just so we don't have to let go. Somehow, in a room full of thousands of people all screaming, it feels like its just us. We're all shaking due to the adrenaline, and crying and laughing.

We all eventually turn to the audience, still holding each others hands, our knuckles white. We're all crying hard - even Alec, which surprises me a little, and just look out at the crowd. We all yell, 'avata age vale' and you can't hear it at all over the yelling and screaming in the audience, but it's okay. We stand there for another minute, just soaking everything up, not quite ready to get off the stage, because we know the moment we do, nothing will be the same again.

* * *

I know that one was a bit short, but I didn't want to put too much into it. The next chapter - the last one :( will be heaps longer. So see oyu next week, and remember to let me know if you'd want to read a sequel to this story!


	66. Chapter 66: Goodbye For Now

**Chapter 66: Goodbye For Now**

So here it is; the last chapter. I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who has supported or read this story. It really does mean a lot. As of posting this chapter this story has has 162 reviews, 126 followers, 58 favourites and over 70,000 views! This story is so much larger than I ever could have hoped for, so I just wanted to say a massive, massive thank you! On to the final chapter...

* * *

 **Clary's POV**

For some reason, Royals for a Day wasn't nearly as emotional as our final concert.

Despite it being the last thing we would officially being together as a band, it was new. It was a TV special - it was only ever going to go for one day. Doing our last concert together was the end of something big - something that had consumed the last six years of our lives. So that's what I told people when they asked how I could be so put together today, when I could barely hold it together for our last concert.

What I didn't tell people, was that this didn't feel like a band thing. This was more like us hanging out for a day, while people happened to be filming and an audience was watching. Performing was _us_. So ending that was what really felt like the end. This just felt like a silly little add on.

"You ready for today?" Magnus asks me, coming to sit next to me. I was sitting in one of the seats in the audience, looking at the stage that we would be on for the next eight hours.

"Yeah, I mean we're well rehearsed, and we'd all agreed it's live TV, so it doesn't really matter if someone messes up." I say, not turning to look at him.

"That's not what I meant. I was talking to Alec this morning, and I've been watching you for the last little while. You all seem to be in some weird limbo." Magnus says, and I can hear that he's concerned.

"I don't think we realised how much our last concert would feel like the end. And I mean, sure, we have this. But it almost doesn't feel real. After today, I have nothing planned. Jace and I are going away, but after that, there's nothing," I tell him. I can remember the last time I didn't have my immediate future planned out. It was both a calming and terrifying thought.

"I thought that was the point of all of this," Magnus says softly. "To take a break. To have a rest. And then start something new."

"It was - it is." I say, finally looking over at him. "But it's just scary having nothing. To have a future so uncertain."

"Hey," he says, resting his hand on top of mine. "You're going on a three month holiday on your own private island. Your engaged to an amazing man. You've got friends who will never leave your side. And you're building an amazing house which I remember you being so excited about. That doesn't sound like nothing to me."

"I sorry. I know I sound ungrateful-" I begin, but Magnus cuts me off.

"Clary, you are one of the most appreciative people I know. What I was trying to say… is that your life has been so consumed by your job, that maybe you've just missed everything else that was going on. Now is your chance to really appreciate it. Be a 21 year old! Live in the moment. Remember when you were sixteen or seventeen, and I told you to just look to the next concert, and you could deal with everything else later?"

I nod at him. It was the only way I could cope.

"Well now you can just look to the next day, or the next hour. But because you're living in the moment, not because you're so overwhelmed with what the future holds," he says, squeezing my hand.

"When did you get so… logical?" I ask, blinking quickly to stop any tears from falling.

"It's the glitter - it adds years of wisdom," he says, smiling at me. "Now let's get you into hair and make up so you can get this day over with, and really start living your life." He stands up and holds his hand out for me to take, and then leads me to a room where all the guys are. Simon is getting his hair blow dried so that it actually has shape, instead of just sticking wherever it wants to. Alec seems to have had a hair cut, as indicated by the black hair on the ground, but I can't really see a difference. Kit looks annoyingly perfect as always.

"She finally shows up," Kit says, as I sit down in the chair next to Simon. I just roll my eyes at him, not bothering with a comeback.

"Now I know you've been rehearsing - and I'm not worried, but just so I can be 100% confident, can you please tell me the running order," Magnus says, sitting down next to Alec, who gently rests his hand on his thigh.

"There are pieces of paper with it hung up everywhere," Kit says. "I don't think we'd be able to forget."

"Well then it shouldn't be a problem telling me," Magnus replies.

Before their quarrelling can get any more out of hand, Alec says, "from 9.00 to 10.00 we're all on."

"And then 10.00 to 11.00 is Alec and I," I continue.

"And then 11.00 to 12.00 is me and Kit," Simon says.

"And then Clary and me for the next hour," Kit says, trying to annoyed.

"And then Simon and I," Alec says, with a pointed look at Kit.

"Then it's you and me, big guy," Kit says, winking at Alec.

"And then you and me," Simon says, looking over to me.

"And then all of us again," I finish.

"Ignoring the attitude from the 22 year old blond, I'm happy," Magnus says, leaning back into the couch some more. "It's 8.30 now, so once you're finished here, you have to go get dressed and then get into vocal warmups."

All the guys get up to go get changed, and I follow them into the change room about ten minutes later when I'm finished in hair and makeup.

In the middle of my vocal warmup, Jace comes into the room and waits patiently for me to finish.

"I know you have to go one really soon," he tells me as our vocal coach leaves the room. "But I just wanted to wish you luck. I know you're going to do amazing."

"Thank you," I say, walking up to him and kissing him quickly.

"And I wanted to give you this," he says. "I was going to give it to you before your last concert, but it was all so crazy I couldn't really find the right time."

He pulls a little box out and hands it to me.

"You didn't have to get me anything," I say, not taking the box.

"Just take it," he says, laughing a little. I roll my eyes and take the box from him. Inside is a necklace with a small silver crown. "It's got a moon engraved into it," he says, and as I look closer I can indeed see a little crescent moon. "You know - for Royals for the Night…"

"Thank you," I say, looking up at him.

I hear someone call my name in the distance.

"I'll let you go," he says. "I know you're going to kill it today."

"Wait," I say, grabbing his arm before he can leave, "am I going to have to put this on myself?"

"Oh," he laughs, and takes the necklace back from me. I turn around and hold my hair up so he can put the necklace on. His hands pause at the nape of my neck, make the hair stand up underneath his fingers. I can feel his gentle breath on the back of my neck, making my heart beat faster.

I slowly turn to face him, his fingers gently tracing my neck as I turn, and then he moves them up so the lightly grip my face, his thumbs gently moving over my cheek bones. He's about to lean down, when Magnus comes into the room.

"You're meant to be on stage right now - no time for boyfriends," Magnus says lightheartedly.

"Fiancee's," Jace gently corrects him, and smiles down at me.

"Right, fiancee's. Whatever you are, and whatever this is, it can wait," Magnus says, sounding exacerbated.

Jace quickly kisses me on the cheek, where his thumb was a moment ago. "Break a leg," he says, smiling down at me.

I wink at him before following Magnus to the stage, which all the guys are already on.

"You've got thirty seconds until you're live," one of the stage hands tells us.

"You're going to kill me one day, Fray," Magnus says.

"I was just living in the moment," I tell him with a grin.

He just shakes his head and quickly gets off the stage so he won't be on camera when it goes live. The man behind the main camera starts counting down from 10, and then holds holds up his fingers to finish the count down. When he points at us, Simon starts speaking. "Hello everyone and welcome to Royals for a Day."

"For the next eight or so hours, we will be gracing your screen doing pretty much anything and everything," Kit continues.

"That includes musical performances, skits, guests to the show, answering your questions, talking to you live, challenges and so much more," Alec says.

"There will also be never seen before video footage from our documentary, unreleased video clips, and exclusive content on all of our social media accounts, so make sure your checking those out during the day so you don't miss anything," I say.

"In the lead up to this day, we've been asking plenty of questions about what you wanted to see today. One of those questions was about the songs you wanted to see performed the most. We've taken the top ten most requested songs, and we're going to do them all today, about one each hour," Kit says.

"Starting right now with number ten… _She's a Riot_ ," Simon says.

Some sort of video into to the whole day plays while we all get into places. There's a little screen above the audience that shows us was everyone watching TV can see, and as soon as the intro is over, Kit begins playing.

After about forty minutes of us just messing around, answering a few audience questions, and doing a food challenge, it's time for the first unreleased video clip.

"Now as you all may know, _Ink_ is a song from our most recent album," Kit says. "It was originally going to be released as a single, so naturally we filmed a video clip for it, but then plans changed… and long story short, we've been holding onto this one for a little while now."

"But we're going to share it with you today," I say.

"For a little background on the video… we all decided it would be a good idea if we rented out a tattoo parlour and spent the night there, getting tattooed and filming footage for the music video. So it kind of sucked when it didn't get released, because it was something we'd be holding onto forever, but you would never get to see," Alec says.

"So we figured, because you're finally getting to see the video, you may as well get to see the tattoo's as well. You get to see them in the video, which we're going to play in a minute, but we don't really talk about the significance behind them or what they mean to us, so we're going to talk about that today as well," Simon says.

We sit down and watch the video clip with everyone else, and then when it's over, it's time to talk about our tattoos.

"So, we decided to each get two tattoos. One matching, and one that was completely our own. But then we realised we already _have_ matching tattoos, and we really didn't need to be too matchy-matchy," I say, as we all show the simple three pronged crown on our inner forearm, just below the elbow. "So instead, we all decided to get the same theme of tattoo, which we decided should be a song lyric. It could be from any song, and we could put it anywhere on our body, but it was still something we'd all have, plus the memory of us all getting it together."

"So I guess I'll start," Kit says. "I got the lyrics, 'I got soul, but I'm not a soldier,' on my ribs. It's from the Killers song _All These Things That I've Done_. It's there to remind that it's okay to have feelings, and I don't have to fight them off or pretend not to have them. Having a soul and feelings doesn't mean you have to fight everything off to stop yourself getting hurt. I'm sure that's not what it means to him, but it's what it means to me. And I think that's what a great song is - it means something different to everyone that listens."

"Okay, I think I'll go next," Alec says. "I got the lyric 'come as you are,' just above by elbow," he says, kind of moving his arm so everyone can see the back of it. "It's from the Nirvana song of the same name. I think for so long I was afraid of who I was, and I didn't want anyone to see or know the truth. So for me this tattoo is kind of a reminder not to hide that part of myself away again."

"I think it's my turn," I say. "I got 'don't look back in anger,' from the Oasis song. It's…" I say, turning around and lifting up my hair, while Simon pulls the back of my shirt down a bit to show the tattoo, which is just below where my spinal cord begins, "right there." I turn back around to face the camera. "To me it kinda says, don't look back back at everything bad that's happened to and let it turn you bitter. Look back and learn from it, and appreciate the person it's turned you into today. Because I really do believe that everything happens for a reason," I look over to Jace who is standing on side stage, watching, "even if it isn't immediately clear why."

As much as it sucks, if everything hadn't happened to me, then I never would have met Jace.

"So I guess mine isn't as deep as everyone else," Simon says laughing a little, "but I got the lyrics, 'the magic's in the music and the music's in me,' from The Lovin' Spoonful's _Do You Believe in Magic_? Kind of just like a reminder that while there's still music in the world, and I still get to do what I love, then everything's going to be okay at the end of the day."

"That's still deep," I tell him. He just shrugs, and then laughs a little.

"And we also got another tattoo that are completely different, because why not?" Kit says. "So I got a music note behind my ear, because I've always got music on the mind."

"I got a rainbow coming out of a cloud on my chest," Alec says.

"Show them," I say, laughing a little. He rolls his eyes at me, but stands up and lifts his shirt up none-the-less, and I hear an actual gasp in the audience. Alec must hear it as well, because he starts going red, and quickly pulls his shirt back down.

"I got just like a little apple - just the outline on the inside of my wrist," Simon says, showing the camera, "to remind me of home - 'the big apple'" he says with a wink.

"And I got three small symbols on my ribs; a star, a heron, and a crown. If you can figure out what it means… good on you," I say looking over to Jace again and giving him a wink. Almost no one knew that my birth name was Morgenster, hence the star so I'm not sure how many people will be able to figure that one out, but they will probably be able to figure out the heron for Herondale and the crown for the band; my three families.

"Well show them…" Alec says, looking at me with his eyebrows raised. I roll my eyes at him, but I guess this was payback. I do what he did, and quickly standing, flashing the tattoo for all of five seconds, before pulling my shirt back down.

"And that about brings the first hour to a close," Simon says. "After a quick ad break, you're going to get to spend some quality time with Alec and Clary."

Everyone loves when Alec and I recreate our dance number from Annie, and we have the original video playing in the background. And then, so carry on the broadway theme, I sing _Defying Gravity_ with Kristin Chenoweth, which is absolutely a dream come true.

Simon and Kit have this whole pre-recorded thing where before a couple of concerts they got dressed up and had all of these prosthetics stuck to them, and then they would go out and stalk to people before the show acting like security guards, and absolutely nobody knew it was them. They then do a modelling show, with Cara Delevingne as the judge - which Kit wins, much to Simon's disappointment.

Kit and I have a drawing competition where we take suggestions from the audience, because everyone wanted Kit to have a redemption from his Christmas video, but it's right about then that everyone learns that I'm halfway decent drawer. We also get Magnus out to do blindfolded makeup looks on members of the audience, which is slightly unfair on Kit, because at least Magnus and I know what all the makeup products are. Despite my slight advantage on Kit, Magnus still does a much better job than both of us.

Simon and Alec get Diego out and have a fitness competition with him to see who really is the fittest, which of course, Diego wins and both Simon and Alec are outraged. They also have a trivia competition, where fans send in pop culture questions from the time we were in the band, which Simon kills Alec in.

In the transition between hours, while were all on stage, we sing _Mad Rude Future Dude,_ which is a song I wrote years ago and brought up in an interview when we were asked what the weirdest song we'd ever written was. I'd never planned on actually performing it, but it had been in the top ten requested songs, so we had to do it. Thank God Simon actually sung the song so I didn't have to.

Simon and I get Izzy and Jace out for 'tea time' where we talk about stupid things the whole time, which drinkning tea and eating finger foods. We also sing _We're Going to Be Friends_ by the White Stripes, which there are all of these photos of us when we're younger playing on the screen behind us.

Finally we all come out together again, and just mess around with the audience, play videos and games, and just generally have fun with each other.

"It's been the best past eight hours," Kit says. "But to be honest; I'm kind of tired now. So it's about time to wrap this all up."

"You know what the number one requested song is, we knew what it was going to be… how could we not end with it. This is Shiver," Simon says.

When the song ends, it's not nearly as emotional as when we finished our concert. It had been a fun day, but like I said before, this was just a day. A nice way to end everything.

"Before we go, we'd just like to say the biggest thank you to every single person who has supported us over these past few years," Alec says.

"Whether you've gone to ten concerts or none," I say, "whether you were supporters of ours from the beginning, or you only discovered us… thank you."

"Without you, our dreams wouldn't have come true," Simon says.

"We'd just be four losers running around New York city," Kit adds.

"So thank you so much for six great years. We love all so much, and we can't wait to see you all again one day," Simon says.

"So it's finally time to say goodbye. But remember, just because you may not physically be able to see us, or just because we're not releasing new music doesn't mean we're not there. We love you, and we believe in you," I say.

"And we're going to miss this, and you all so much. Thank you for everything," Alec says, and then the camera man counts down, and we're finished.

We all look at each other. That's the end of the band for a while. Who knew when we'll actually get back together.

"This is so stupid," Simon says, wiping away a tear, "it's not like we're never going to see each other again."

"We're literally all about to get in a car and go to the airport together," Kit agrees.

"It's just going to be weird not seeing you guys everyday," I say, as Simon pulls me into a side hug.

"We're just a phone call away," Alec says.

I take a deep breath, "I know. I'm being silly."

We all head back to the dressing room, and give back the mics and get changed back into what we came in. After that, we all pile into a minivan, which is packed with all our bags and is taking us to the airport. Jace and I are heading to Greece, Simon and Izzy are going to New York, Magnus and Alec are going to France, and Kit is going to London.

We let Izzy and Simon out first at the domestic airport. And then we all check in together, and head to the airport lounge together.

"This is so weird," Kit says, "all going different places."

"Yeah," I agree, "and without Simon here."

"I barely noticed he was gone" Kit says, smiling at me. I roll my eyes, and lightly punch him in the arm. A couple of minutes later, his flight is called. A little while after that Magnus and Alec's flight is called, and just Jace and I are left in the private lounge.

"You okay?" he asks me.

"You know, I really am. I'm excited. I finally get to decide what I do. And sure, it's scary as hell, but I'm excited to see what happens."

"Well you know, I've got plans for tonight," he says, wiggling his eyebrows. I laugh back at him, and can't wipe the smile of my face.

"We've got three months of total bliss coming up - just you and me," I tell him.

"I really hope you don't get sick of me!" he says, laughing. I'm not sure if he's laughing at his joke, or at the idea that anyone could ever have too much Jace.

When they call our flight, we collect all of our things and head towards our gate. Towards three months of total bliss. Towards our unplanned future.

* * *

I hope you liked this chapter... and the story! Once again a massive thank you to everyone how has shown any support in the last year as I've been uploading. Hopefully you enjoyed it! If you did, I'll be uploading a sequel! I'll start uploading this Friday, and the story will have the same upload schedule as this one, so look out for that.

The story will follow Clary and Jace as well as the rest of the gang as they try to figure out adulthood and life outside of the band.

Anyway, I hope you liked the story, and have an absolutely amazing week... and look out for the sequel!


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